Gratitude for new memories
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pasadena,Ca
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Gratitude for new memories
Today my daughter turns 6. It struck me as I thought back to the day that she was born that I have only happy memories about that day. I was fortunate enough to get sober before both of my children were born. Today, I feel a profound sense of gratitude for that fact.
So many of my memories are clouded by the sad and sick fact that I was drinking. Although I have done work to remove guilt and shame and I have made amends, that fact remains that there is a chapter of my life that was will forever by clouded by the fact that I was drinking. I can't change this, it is just part of my story. I am glad that I still get that sick feeling when I remember a lot of the past. It remiinds me of where I was and where I never want to be again.
I realized today that I have built a whole new chapter of sober memories. With each passing day and year this chapter grows. I am overwhelmed by the gratitude I feel about this. There was a time when I couldn't imagine seeing this day or feeling this way.
The gift of sobriety just becomes more meaningful every day, even after all of this time.
Gratefully,
-K
So many of my memories are clouded by the sad and sick fact that I was drinking. Although I have done work to remove guilt and shame and I have made amends, that fact remains that there is a chapter of my life that was will forever by clouded by the fact that I was drinking. I can't change this, it is just part of my story. I am glad that I still get that sick feeling when I remember a lot of the past. It remiinds me of where I was and where I never want to be again.
I realized today that I have built a whole new chapter of sober memories. With each passing day and year this chapter grows. I am overwhelmed by the gratitude I feel about this. There was a time when I couldn't imagine seeing this day or feeling this way.
The gift of sobriety just becomes more meaningful every day, even after all of this time.
Gratefully,
-K
that is terrific. and happy birthday to your daughter. keep on keepin on my friend.,
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by socalgal 
So many of my memories are clouded by the sad and sick fact that I was drinking.
Thank you for articulating exactly what I've been feeling and thinking about a lot these days. I look back at memories that were "synthetically" happy..and I shudder a little...they are clouded and obscured and tainted by alcohol.
I do not regret my past..it is what brought me here today. Today I simply know the difference between my synthetic and suspended life and the authentic one I'm trying to live today.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
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I know where you are coming from Kathleen, this past month was my twins 15th birthday and the first one I really participated in because I was sober.
Nuudawn I am with you, I use my past today to help others, I am not proud of a lot of my past, but I am forgiven for it and as a result it does not consume me. I use my past to help me and others rather then letting my past use me to keep me guilty, ashamed, and drinking.
Kathleen give her a Happy B-Day hug from an old alkie with 6 kids that never gave his own kids a sober happy B-Day hug! The granfkids will get them though!
Nuudawn I am with you, I use my past today to help others, I am not proud of a lot of my past, but I am forgiven for it and as a result it does not consume me. I use my past to help me and others rather then letting my past use me to keep me guilty, ashamed, and drinking.
Kathleen give her a Happy B-Day hug from an old alkie with 6 kids that never gave his own kids a sober happy B-Day hug! The granfkids will get them though!
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