salty seadog

Hi guys an' gals, my name is dan and i am striving to stop drinking. My drinking is a problem but only half the time.

I work on a large passenger ship and stay on the ship for 1 week working, then i get 1 week at home and then 1 week working on the ship again followed by 1 week at home again and so on.

Basically while i am at work on the ship i do not drink a drop or smoke any weed for the whole 7 days (drinking is not allowed and weed is obviously illegal, but some people do drink sneakily in their cabin after work) but as soon as i get home its a different story.
as soon as i am home for the week i start heavy drinking and smoking.
every day i start with a pipe of weed (i don't smoke tobacco, just pure weed) and this carries on with a smoke at least every hour.
The drinking i try to hold off until the mid afternoon but as soon as i start i'm drinking until i collapse in bed. Often i wake in the early hours at about 4 or 5 o' clock and will finish anything i have left from the night before( 1\2 bottle of wine or 2-3 cans of beer), and so my week at home goes until i get back on board the ship where i am sober for the week. I work in the stores on the ship and am surrounded by booze all day every day but it doesn't tempt me.(there have been a handful of times when i have snuck a bottle up to my cabin but not in recent years)

i have drunk heavily for over 10 years and have worked on the ferry for 5 in this pattern of drinking at home and dry at work.

In January 2004 i was sick of the drinking and becoming very aware of the toll it was taking on my health and had built up the will to stop . I did stop for a whole year but then i stopped the weed smoking in january 2005.

all was good for a couple of months but then i let myself have a drink, a couple of months later i had anothe and a couple of weeks later i had another. Hey presto i have been drinking for over a year now and back on the weed for about 9 months.........FAILED......

Anyhow i have built up the will to stop the drinking again, 3 days so far and no real problem(ps i am at home at the moment)

As i have said i can go every other week sober at work and have done a stretch of sobriety before, all without too much problem, I just had to keep myself occupied, go swimming etc for the first 3 weeks.

I found this forum very comforting last time just reading the experience and support of others, this time i have registered.

is this a familiar pattern of drinking that i have?

even though i am sober every other week i consider myself to be an alcoholic...

any thoughts about my pattern of drinking.....


many thanks for letting me ramble a bit....

dan......

Pilgrim

Hi Dan,

There are not too many people on the board at this time of the night. This is a great place to come for your answers and you will find that my tomorrow, you will have lots of feedback to your questions. Welcome to SR!!!

salty seadog

thanks steph, I't looks by the style of the posts that most people are in the states on here , i am in the uk and it is 9am here......

yes this is a great site and helped me before but now its round two....ding ...ding....dan comes out swinging....(not swigging)

dan......

CarolD

Hi and Welcome!

I did notice that the patterns I had in drinking
changed over a period of years.

By the time I quit...
I was having a drink for breakfast to stop the
shakes so I could go to work.
Then to keep the withdrawal at bay
I needed alcohol every 4 hours. Total mess!

Unlike you...I had no forced sobriety with a long
stretch at work.
Heck! I would not have kept or taken
a job that made drinking impossible for a week!!

As to weed...I quit that years before I quit drinkng.

Obviously....my using career does not imitate yours.

However...I hope my successful sobriety will
I use God + AA to say sober.

Well done on your new resolve for health!
Keep in focus and let us know how you are doing.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, salty. keep posting! k

Tazman53

Salty there are an awful lot of initial patterns to drinking for alcoholics, I started off mainly drinking on weekends, then progressed to drinking daily, then drinking and driving to expand my drinking time. I eventually reached the point where on occasion I would sneak a drink at work.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, the longer I drank the worse it got, all of the "I can not be an alcoholic I have not done (You name it)" eventually happens.

Before I quit I was doing almost everything I swore I would never do, I drank and drove, I drank and drove with my kids and grand kids in the truck, I drank at work, I drank in the morning.

Golfman

Dan,

Nice to hear from another in the UK. Many of your mates are here. Welcome to SR. There are many who would not consider themselves alcoholics because the don't drink every day. In my humble opinion that's rubbish.

During the 18 years that I drank alcoholically, I never drand during the week. But come Friday afternoon, it was time to "pack up the babies and grab the old ladies" because I was off and running. I usually drank Friday, Saturday and somtimes on Sunday when I needed a bit of the hair of the dog. Then Monday-Thursday, no drinking.

Although the images of drunks in my mind were that street person begging, or the old lady with a shopping cart, I finally realized that alcoholism is an equal opportunity disease. It does not discriminate between the doctor, the housewife, that white collar worker, doesn't care whether someone is whiite, black, brown, yellow or green for that matter. And unfortunately, it takes no prisoners. It's objective is to maim, kill, and destroy.

In the end, only you can decide whether you are an alcoholic. There might be a way to help you find out. On your week off, abstain from the smoke and the drink. If you find that you can do this for say 10 consecutive "off weeks" then maybe you are not. However, the true alcoholic can rarely deny himself for a long period during his regular drinking days.

I hope you will stick around long enough to ask the questions you want to ask and receive the caring and compassion that we feel for each other here at SR. In fact, you may have just arrived home.

Yours in sobriety,
steady eddie

chip

Welcome to the forum, Dan.

As alcoholics, we go through all sorts of cycles and patterns. You say you are an alcoholic, and I believe you. You have made more progress than most people who have alcohol problems: admiting it and quitting.

This is a great place to seek support and encouragement.

Good job quitting!!! I hope you are able to stick with it, and stay sober. Keeping busy is a good plan. Posting on this board is a great way to get help, and help others. I find that when I start having a hard time, if I log on SR, it always makes me feel better.
peace,
chip

BrandiK

Hello and welcome!

Hush007

Just like Taz,... my drinking started on weekends,...your pattern is a different one but that doesn't mean much though.

And just like Taz stated,...Alcoholism is a progressive disease, so if you are an alcoholic (wich we can not decide for you) be careful!

Emimily

Eddie... you are a sobriety rockstar! But I'm sure you've heard that before.

For real, I drank (and smoked... a LOT) the same way Ed did. And Taz. And Hush. I was a weekend warrior, the hippie-with-a-job would cut loose like there was no tomorrow on the weekends, ending up God know's where at the end of the night. But, I didn't drink during the day. I never get a DUI, never lost a job... still, I knew something was off. My spirit was dead, y'know? I was just a shell, a fake Emily. One day, I'd had enough, and I walked into AA. It's been a long, strange trip, but it's worth it, 'cause I'M worth it. And so are you, if you decide that it's right for your life.

Good luck, Dan. Glad you're here.

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Dan,

I was in the Coast Guard and for many years had forced sobriety while underway. When I was in port however, I drank non-stop.

Eventually I did wind up drinking U/W but was never caught.

When I left the service my drinking really took off and I went through about 10 years of trying to stop on my own. Eventually it took several detoxes as I had reached the point where I could not stop cold turkey.

The key for me was that WHEN I drank, I drank alcoholically.

I drank until I ran out of money, time, or consiousness (passed out).

I hope that you are able to recognise your patterns and perchance you will not have to suffer for another 10 years like I did.

Anyway mate, just hitch a morring line here and lay up alongside our little pier for a spell.

There are many friends here.

Ted

Nuudawn

This says it all for me. Early on in my drinking years and for quite a while I was a binger..and a rather sporadic one. Limited to one night on the weekend which was an all out drunk up, black out. If and when I started to drink it was with reckless abandon. I knew something was wrong and I went to AA for a meeting or two...I was about 22 or 23 then. I couldn't relate then because my patterns then didn't fit the "norm" for the alcoholics at that time. I kick myself now. As Emily said...I knew something was off about my drinking. I was an alcoholic then and still am. I just had to drink another 15+ years until my drinking progressed into the "norm" of the alcoholic...which became daily. I had to drink myself into a much more wretched bottom and waste years of opportunity and emotional growth.

Welcome Dan. I hope you stay with us.

salty seadog

thanks to you all,

not actualy having any probs at the moment towards the end of day 3,
got a few things to keep me busy and I've done it before. I have found that you really have to build up the will to want to quit to be successfull. Most of the time even though you hate the drink you cannot seem to do anything about it.


hi eddie......nice weather for the time of year....

CarolD

Yes...you have to want to quit more than you want to drink!

Hush007

So,...how are you today Salty seadog?

salty seadog

Hi Hush... and thanks for asking,

i'm fine at the moment, have somewhat broken and sweaty sleep but not too bad, I am finding it easier than last time at the moment but i have only just woken up on day 4. My housemate is away for a few days now and it might get a little lonely around the house but i have some golf games coming up on thursday and friday

Tazman53

Congrats on the beginning of day 4.

If you are not familiar with it I will share HALT:

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

Keeping those in mind will help in staying sober, avoid those at all cost if possible. Another thing to keep in mind is you may think about smoking dope to take the edge off of wanting/needing a drink, this is really not a good plan if you think about it, with me if I was high on weed I would start seeking out my favorite drug to get me the buzz I really want... alcohol! Sadly I know that her thrill is gone no matter I much I drink.

Golfman

Emily!!!!!

You know your compliment is one of those ego-boosters that will get me in trouble, but what the hell, if we can't have fun here, where can we. As far as the rock star thing, well, that was a loooooooooooong time ago. I was part of th 60's generation. You know, long hair, free love (well that could stick around forever as far as I'm concerned!), do your own thing (like that didn't get me in trouble!), and everything else that the late 60's connotes. Unfortunately, that era has also produced some of the worst parenting skills I've ever seem. Not everyone, but enough to make it noticable.

I've been noticing your angst over the past few weeks. I sure hope you're feeling better. You have so much to live for and your sobriety will reap rewards for years to come. Hang in the little hippie, it only get better.

Sex, love, and rock'n'roll,
Ed

Tazman53

If the age was corrected he would have turned 53, but I am an old hippie myself and thanks to AA I now know what to do.