Gonna Try Campral...........
 

Well since I had a "few cold brewskies" I think I have that monster back on me. The craving to drink (not drug) is very strong. The truth is that my 1 day RELAPSE was mild BUT that awful obsession has crept back. I have gone back to AA (2X a week) and still feel that members are judging me. I see my doctor soon who suggested last time Campral for the cravings. I know it's not a magic bullet but if it helps at all, it's a positive.
I have a desire to stop drinking and have been told that's all I need to attend AA meetings. I don't have the desire or willingness for step work or praying. I am less resentful towards the "old timers" who throw around all their "time." I don't judge myself (as much) by how much sobriety time I have. I won't be picking up my 1 year cake and chip :(. I need to focus on the fact that my quality of life is improving.
I have not used cocaine/heroin in a long time and I am proud of that but still occasionally slip with alcohol. I have been told that alcohol is more physically damaging than the illegal drugs. I guess I became a lazy drug addict and found alcohol much cheaper and easier to obtain. I enjoy reading many of the posts here and think that this board has been helping me avoid the total 100 story drop of chronic addiction.

I didn't either, until I got my butt kicked awfully darn hard. Funny how willing I became when I was almost dead, broke and homeless.

Once I swallowed my pride, and stayed with the program a little while, I realized how foolish I had been fighting it. It's no big deal, really. It's simple (not easy) and it WORKS.

151 Days in, with a BIG dose of serenity , hope, and gratitude. Not that silly "pink cloud", I'm talkin' the real thing.

You know, I spent years and years hanging around with 'traditionals' ... those who only light their Sweat Lodge Fires with fire made from sticks rubbed together type thing ...

and you know what I learned from that? from an amazingly revered Holy Man?

If the Indians had HAD lighters and firestarter ... they'd have USED them.

:lmao

HE ... told me that. I didn't come up with it on my own.

I'm saying, had the Founders of AA HAD Campral ... they'd have TRIED Campral. We're talking people who had 'the belladonna treatment' for God's sakes. More than one of them was a doctor, remember.

Go to your doc, friend.
TELL your doc the truth, the whole truth ... and then DO what the doc says.

Let those who have been blessed with success THEIR way ... continue to USE their way.

This is *your* recovery.
It's between *you* ... and your HP.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for saving your own life.

Just keep in mind that Campral's literature states over and over that it's not to be used alone - it MUST accompany a structured, established recovery program. It's means... not an end ...

thanks
barb