zJoe99

Had a bad experience at a discussion meeting this morning. I tried to speak and got all choked up. Started shaking like a leaf and was barely able to get a word out. I'm not used to "sharing" with other people let alone a group. Not personal things like fears, pain, etc.

When I left the meeting all kinds of negative thoughts were running through my head. I was thinking to hell with AA I'm never going back, I can't do this and I don't want to talk to my sponsor anymore. I also wanted a drink - bad.

I told my sponsor I didn't feel comfortable talking in group meetings. His response was that my ego was causing me not to want to talk. I don't understand where he's coming from. He said I should share because it may help someone else. Well, I'm sure I helped no one this morning. It damn sure didn't help me.

Having second thoughts about everything now. My optimism about AA is gone. I'm actually afraid AA may cause me to drink. This crap is turning me into a nervous wreck.

came2believe

I heard something good from a gal with 60 days sober at a meeting yesterday.

She said- someone had told her - here is how most alcoholics' drinking lives progress.

FUN-->FUN WITH PROBLEMS-->PROBLEMS

The recovering person's life progresses in the following way:

PROBLEMS-->FUN WITH PROBLEMS-->FUN.

She was frustrated, because she was seeing herself in the stage called PROBLEMS still, even though she was sober.

But, she held out hope that "FUN WITH PROBLEMS" was coming next... and then, eventually, "FUN."

Maybe this idea will help...

xx

TorontoGuy28

Joe-

Don't let this one meeting turn you off.... Your sponsor shouldn't be forcing you to share, if you are not ready.. That's my 2 cents.

Listening and relating helps.

All the best dude.

dragon76

I feel the way sometimes. pick up the bb and look at page 193 and read the story.it might help

Tazman53

Well I am not going to say your sponsor is wrong, but keep in mind that a sponsor is a guide, but not your boss!

If you are not ready to do something, then don't do it, especially if it gives you the urge to drink.

You have every right in the world to fire your sponsor.

When you are ready to share you will know, it will just happen.

AA is not your sponsor and your sponsor is not AA.

CarolD

Bummer for sure..Hugs

Take a moment of quiet
and pray for peace.

Use the Serenity Prayer.

Then begin your day over
and rejoice in your progress.

Blessings

GlassPrisoner

My sponsor told me not to share at first.

One: Because I didn't want to sit there and think about what I was going to say. It was more important to actively listen. I'm always amazed that others feel (or felt) the same way I do.

Two: As others pointed out, I didn't have a lot to share except for my drunkalog.

If sharing is making you feel uncomfortable, don't. Not until you have more recovery and can actually share something someone else needs.

Until then, there is plenty else you can do. Simply going to meetings helps others. Some (self included) feel safe when seeing farmiliar faces. Give rides to those who can't drive. Or, take a commitment (coffee, literature, etc).

socalgal

There are no rules in AA. I am so sorry you had a bad experience this morning. You don't have to share unless and until you want to. You will know when that time is. Please try not to let your morning today determine how you will feel and what you will do from here on out. It was just what happened this morning, not how it is going to be for the rest of your life.

It took me a long time before I was able to comfortably share and also before I felt like I actually had something to share. Now, I attend meetings for a different 12 step group and they have to set a timer for me!

Give yourself a break and the time that you need, but don't stop going meetings It is alright to listen. It is good to listen.

(((Hugs)))

Just don't drink. That is the only thing you "have" to do. Everything else will follow.

Read the 12 promises. They always remind me why I have to/want to work on this stuff.

Love
-K

Missymae737

Joe,

How are you today??

Thinking of you....

Rowan

Hi Joe,

Please post and let us know how you are doing. How you are feeling is perfectly natural. It hurts, and we understand that pain here.

Rowan

Paul L

Well sometimes it is just best to share in a genreal way, just to share about your day is ok, sometimes we feel that we have share our most inner most secrets, thats not AA,s way, if something is bothering me i shared it on a one to one basis with someone that i could trust,ie a good sponsor or someone close.

lostmdboy

I know I do not share much. My mind seems so full of S*^(%t that I can never get my thoughts together enough to say any thing that makes sence. My sponcer, and others says that is ok. just sit and listen.

Kristen E.

I agree... Some of the Old timers in AA will tell you to keep your mouth shut and listen for at least 6 months.. This is your program..... Work it the way you are comfortable..... Get a new sponser or just let him know how you feel. then make a decision.

As long as you do not take the first drink you are ok.


Keep coming back... Take what you want and leave the rest..

Grizzled

I felt the same way early on and am still sure I sound like an idiot. But then, we are all idiots that get in the rooms, that's how my sponser told me to look at it.

Imagine my surprise after sharing early on when someone walked up to me after a meeting and thanked me for sharing because they felt it really helped them. I thought I sounded like a raving loonatic.

Trust me, even with what you shared today, there are more people in those rooms who can identify with you more than you know.

This post you made will help numerous people. Trust me.

Thanks for sharing.

zJoe99

Thank you all for your support. I'm ok I'll be back and post later.