Weird email exchange!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Weird email exchange!!!
Well I got an email from a guy on a hunting bulletin board I used to post on all the time just out of the blue, just asking how I was doing and why I had not been around in a long time on the board.
Well I replied back and told him that I was posting on an alcoholic recovery site and that I had gone through detox and was know sober and happy.
Funny thing how reading "Working with others" just a few days ago allowed me to say the right things!
He replied back in a nutshell that he had had a DUI when he was 18, then let me know that he was drinking 1-1 1/2 cases a week (Which if he is an alcoholic like me really means 6-7 cases a week!).
Well he also asked me a few minor questions about alcoholism and I infromed him that it was for him to decide, asked him a few questions whcih would allow him to start trying to determine on his own.
Well then he replies back and said he has known he is an alcoholic for years, and that for some reason he felt moved to email me just to see how I was doing, he then said that he felt the Lord had moved him to trust me with what he was sharing and that our exchange of emails was some how via the Lord as he put it, he just had this urge to email me.
Well I will write more when I get home from work! I just pray I do and say the right things, so far I am following working with others to a tee.
Well I replied back and told him that I was posting on an alcoholic recovery site and that I had gone through detox and was know sober and happy.
Funny thing how reading "Working with others" just a few days ago allowed me to say the right things!
He replied back in a nutshell that he had had a DUI when he was 18, then let me know that he was drinking 1-1 1/2 cases a week (Which if he is an alcoholic like me really means 6-7 cases a week!).
Well he also asked me a few minor questions about alcoholism and I infromed him that it was for him to decide, asked him a few questions whcih would allow him to start trying to determine on his own.
Well then he replies back and said he has known he is an alcoholic for years, and that for some reason he felt moved to email me just to see how I was doing, he then said that he felt the Lord had moved him to trust me with what he was sharing and that our exchange of emails was some how via the Lord as he put it, he just had this urge to email me.
Well I will write more when I get home from work! I just pray I do and say the right things, so far I am following working with others to a tee.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Wow Taz,
That's an awesome thing. Working with others is a guide...but so is your HP. This fellow has been led to you because your HP trusts in you....Taz himself. There is much wisdom in your own experience...and it's precisely what this man needs to hear.
Best to you...
That's an awesome thing. Working with others is a guide...but so is your HP. This fellow has been led to you because your HP trusts in you....Taz himself. There is much wisdom in your own experience...and it's precisely what this man needs to hear.
Best to you...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Nuudawn I wonder if I am really ready, I hope I can somply say the right things to get him started on the road to recovery, I left him with the reccomendation to pray about this because he is religous and simply ask his HP for the ability to be totally honest with him self and if he chose to do so with me about the following 2 questions:
1. Since he had admitted himself an alcoholic did he want to quit drinking?
2. Was he willing to do anything to stop and stay stopped?
In the last email I posed those questions and among a lot of other things suggested he get hold of a copy of "Under the Influence" and or "Beyond the Influence" to where he would have a better grasp of alcoholism. I told him I wanted him to ponder all that we had spoken about and to email me back tonight or first thing in the morning and I would share with him the solution I had found.
I did let him know that he was well on his way if he still felt he was an alcohlic and he had a HP already.
I am not going to push anything on him, simply share my story and how AA has helped me to recover not only sobreity, but my happiness in life today.
I was honest with him about how initially it would not be easy quitting and also asked him to honestly tell me how much and how often he drinks, more then likely like I already said he probably drinks as much as I used to or close to it so I should be able to give him a semi accurate idea of what to expect making sure he knows that every one is different.
I for the life of me really do not feel I am totally ready for this, hopefully I can get him headed in the same direction I went and the folks in AA can take him from there.
1. Since he had admitted himself an alcoholic did he want to quit drinking?
2. Was he willing to do anything to stop and stay stopped?
In the last email I posed those questions and among a lot of other things suggested he get hold of a copy of "Under the Influence" and or "Beyond the Influence" to where he would have a better grasp of alcoholism. I told him I wanted him to ponder all that we had spoken about and to email me back tonight or first thing in the morning and I would share with him the solution I had found.
I did let him know that he was well on his way if he still felt he was an alcohlic and he had a HP already.
I am not going to push anything on him, simply share my story and how AA has helped me to recover not only sobreity, but my happiness in life today.
I was honest with him about how initially it would not be easy quitting and also asked him to honestly tell me how much and how often he drinks, more then likely like I already said he probably drinks as much as I used to or close to it so I should be able to give him a semi accurate idea of what to expect making sure he knows that every one is different.
I for the life of me really do not feel I am totally ready for this, hopefully I can get him headed in the same direction I went and the folks in AA can take him from there.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Hey Taz:
It's great that the fellow contacted you! As we can do is share our own ES&H and let it go from there.
That is an expectation. Yes we have them when we do 12 step work, lol but please just remember..................his HP will take care of him. Give your ES&H and then let the fellow make his own decision. This is where the 3 C's of Alanon help me so much:
I didn't CAUSE it,
I can't CONTROL it, and
I can't CURE it.
As to your being ready or not.......................I believe your HP has already decided that one, lmao. Share you ES&H. Your enthusiasm will show through. Share how different your life is today. Answer any questions he may have honestly, including an "I don't know" when you don't know, lol.
You will do just fine..........................give it to HP and the words will come.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
It's great that the fellow contacted you! As we can do is share our own ES&H and let it go from there.
hopefully I can get him headed in the same direction I went and the folks in AA can take him from there.
I didn't CAUSE it,
I can't CONTROL it, and
I can't CURE it.
As to your being ready or not.......................I believe your HP has already decided that one, lmao. Share you ES&H. Your enthusiasm will show through. Share how different your life is today. Answer any questions he may have honestly, including an "I don't know" when you don't know, lol.
You will do just fine..........................give it to HP and the words will come.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
That is an expectation. Yes we have them when we do 12 step work, lol but please just remember..................his HP will take care of him. Give your ES&H and then let the fellow make his own decision. This is where the 3 C's of Alanon help me so much:
Plant the seed, and be a good example. That's all we can do
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I hear you Taz..but to me it feels that this fellow's contact with you represents something truly divine. Your story and thoughts are the gold he is mining..your PERSONAL experience. I can only speak for myself but it is the personal experience of my fellow drunks that I find so incredibly heartening. Drunks talking with other drunks is the nuts and bolts of AA. Before the "program" came the simple discussion between drunks. Bill W. sought out another drunk just to talk to that day in Ohio. This is the very essence..this is the magic....honesty, compassion, empathy and personal disclosure...this IS the stuff. You are blessed with this opportunity Taz. If you weren't "ready"....it wouldn't be happening.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Laurie thanks for sharing that, it is what on plan on doing basically, just lay out my ESH, where I was and how I got to where I am now.
Yep I learned that in Alanon also, and that is what I have been doing with my son, praying and trying to make sure I set the example and that when he is ready he will come to me or someone else. He knows how I got sober so he knows AA works!
Do not ask me why, but it is kind of scary... I know that my HP knows I am ready, as you said so well that is what I will do:
My HP has not let me down yet, and I know the words will come as long as I am in tune with my HP. All I can expect of my HP is that he gives me the power to do his will, he has paid me back for trying to do his will in spades!
Agreed my friend.
Nuudawn I find this mind blowing to me, but I can not deny it, to many things going on for it to be mere coincedence.
BINGO!!! That is why it worked for this old drunk, when my dryer breaks I don't take it to a dentist.
I know that and yet I still ask my self what I did that put me in the position I am in now?
Prayer, reading the chapter on "Working with Others", staying in tune with my HP and letting him guide me, his HP has led him to open up to me, and by what I can only call a miracle my HP had me share a small part of my ESH with the right person at the right time.
Well me being sober is a miracle so I can not doubt my HP knows what he is doing, I just need to trust in him and let him guide me.
I didn't CAUSE it,
I can't CONTROL it, and
I can't CURE it.
I can't CONTROL it, and
I can't CURE it.
As to your being ready or not.......................I believe your HP has already decided that one, lmao.
give it to HP and the words will come.
Plant the seed, and be a good example. That's all we can do
this fellow's contact with you represents something truly divine.
Drunks talking with other drunks is the nuts and bolts of AA.
You are blessed with this opportunity Taz. If you weren't "ready"....it wouldn't be happening.
Prayer, reading the chapter on "Working with Others", staying in tune with my HP and letting him guide me, his HP has led him to open up to me, and by what I can only call a miracle my HP had me share a small part of my ESH with the right person at the right time.
Well me being sober is a miracle so I can not doubt my HP knows what he is doing, I just need to trust in him and let him guide me.
Follow Directions!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Ayla you are an inspiration to mine also. The longer I am sober the stronger my sobriety becomes due to others successes.
Sadly my friend never replied..... I can imagine that he like so many others like us is having a hard time coming to terms with his self admitted alcoholism.
I sure did.... 10 years worth.
Sadly my friend never replied..... I can imagine that he like so many others like us is having a hard time coming to terms with his self admitted alcoholism.
I sure did.... 10 years worth.
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