Positives
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 11
Positives
My therapist asked me on Friday what positives I've noticed since not drinking... and I couldn't think of any except that I must be saving a hell of a lot of money, but that I don't have any money to be spending anyway (I've basically maxxed out my overdraft). Apparently, that was me qualifying a benefit with a negative statement so that the benefits of being sober would seem less valid (and I assume that means I'm undermining the good points which might lead me to think / convince myself it's a pointless exercise and thus start drinking again). So... I decided he was right. And I've made a list of positives that I can think of up to now... tried to force as many out as I can.
- Number one KEY (possible) benefit: I might stay "sane"!!!
- Saving money: I could use the money I save to get some guitar lessons, buy some jogging clothes or donate more to charity.
- When I do get to sleep, the quality is better and I am more refreshed i the morning once I get going.
- I have more motivation and energy. I'm even motivated to exercise a bit.
- I don't have hangovers.
- My skin feels better.
- My mouth feels fresher and I don't get dry mouth in the morning anymore.
- I don't have to worry about having made a complete fool of myself the previous day/night anymore.
- I've been appreciating the little things about the world more when I'm out because I'm not focussed on drinking/finding a drink/dazed because I am drunk at the time. E.g. the stars... and when I was listening to live music in a bar sober I could actually concentrate on and appreciate the music... ANd remember it the next day.
Maybe if others list their positives, it'll help to see why to carry on being sober (and also I might be able to steal some to add to my list that I hadn't thought of
)
Now, as a side point, about the mouth... my breath is FAR fresher in general! I used to eat loads of mints but now since I've been sober (day 12 now) I hardly even need them. Is it normal for drinkers to have 'bad breath'?... and not just the smell of vodka etc. It was never terrible heh but just never 'fresh' at all and I'd need to brush my teeth more often.
- Number one KEY (possible) benefit: I might stay "sane"!!!
- Saving money: I could use the money I save to get some guitar lessons, buy some jogging clothes or donate more to charity.
- When I do get to sleep, the quality is better and I am more refreshed i the morning once I get going.
- I have more motivation and energy. I'm even motivated to exercise a bit.
- I don't have hangovers.
- My skin feels better.
- My mouth feels fresher and I don't get dry mouth in the morning anymore.
- I don't have to worry about having made a complete fool of myself the previous day/night anymore.
- I've been appreciating the little things about the world more when I'm out because I'm not focussed on drinking/finding a drink/dazed because I am drunk at the time. E.g. the stars... and when I was listening to live music in a bar sober I could actually concentrate on and appreciate the music... ANd remember it the next day.
Maybe if others list their positives, it'll help to see why to carry on being sober (and also I might be able to steal some to add to my list that I hadn't thought of
)Now, as a side point, about the mouth... my breath is FAR fresher in general! I used to eat loads of mints but now since I've been sober (day 12 now) I hardly even need them. Is it normal for drinkers to have 'bad breath'?... and not just the smell of vodka etc. It was never terrible heh but just never 'fresh' at all and I'd need to brush my teeth more often.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 21
I see much more of the postives of life not drinking. When drinking, it always seemed easy to find the negatives...woe is me. Job, wife nagging, money etc. Just the predictability of life is very refreshing. Was concerned that i would be bored; the longer i go (now close to 4 months), the more I wonder what the h*** I was doing all those years. I am far from bored and am really starting to enjoy life. I feel like i am not missing anything.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well for me:
1. Liking the person I see in the mirror in the morning.
2. My family respecting me.
3. Respecting myself.
4. Not lying to myself or others.
5. Catching myself smiling for no real reason at all.
6. Hearing and seeing the beauty of the world.
7. Seeing things in a more posotive light.
8. Watching people in the rooms of AA come back to life.
9. Seeing people on SR come back to life.
10. Knowing I will not be known as the drunk old man to my grandchildren.
Just a few.
1. Liking the person I see in the mirror in the morning.
2. My family respecting me.
3. Respecting myself.
4. Not lying to myself or others.
5. Catching myself smiling for no real reason at all.
6. Hearing and seeing the beauty of the world.
7. Seeing things in a more posotive light.
8. Watching people in the rooms of AA come back to life.
9. Seeing people on SR come back to life.
10. Knowing I will not be known as the drunk old man to my grandchildren.
Just a few.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Paw,
Besides the usual, here are some that I hadn't thought about in some time now.
1. When I see a blue light in my rearview mirror, I don't shake and worry anymore.
2. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't get that sick feeling of hating myself.
3. When I break something, like a glass, I don't break something else because I'm so pi55ed.
4. I don't have to remember the lies I told to cover up the lies I told to cover up the lies I told.
5. When I'm confused or upset, I don't have to contemplate for days at a time as to what the cause is. Hey, I know it's me!!
6. I wake up, not come to.
7. My bedroom doesn't smell like alcohol anymore. It used to because the smell used to seep out through the pores of my skin.
8. When I wake up in the morning an see a wet spot on the floor, I know it's the dog, not me missing the toilet in the middle of the night.
9. After going to a concert, I can remember the songs I heard and who I went to see.
10. I have more friends than I ever thought possible.
Yours in sobriety,
ED
Besides the usual, here are some that I hadn't thought about in some time now.
1. When I see a blue light in my rearview mirror, I don't shake and worry anymore.
2. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't get that sick feeling of hating myself.
3. When I break something, like a glass, I don't break something else because I'm so pi55ed.
4. I don't have to remember the lies I told to cover up the lies I told to cover up the lies I told.
5. When I'm confused or upset, I don't have to contemplate for days at a time as to what the cause is. Hey, I know it's me!!
6. I wake up, not come to.
7. My bedroom doesn't smell like alcohol anymore. It used to because the smell used to seep out through the pores of my skin.
8. When I wake up in the morning an see a wet spot on the floor, I know it's the dog, not me missing the toilet in the middle of the night.
9. After going to a concert, I can remember the songs I heard and who I went to see.
10. I have more friends than I ever thought possible.
Yours in sobriety,
ED
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 336
I don't go running to my cell phone or computer to see who I drunk dialed/typed the night before. I answer the phone when it rings because I'm not worried what I said to someone the night before.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I am on day 12 too Paw, or day 26 with a 2 day slip halfway through lol.
I feel more in control and am beginning to trust my judgment and opinions again.
Self-esteem coming back, I don't feel buffeted by events but part of things and confident that I can at least control my actions and reactions to events though not control the events themselves.
More RELAXED! I don't feel that terrible wound up feeling I used to feel all the time.
I would expect to feel more physically healthy but I feel like crap, could be a bug or withdrawal effects, but I know it will pass.
I feel more in control and am beginning to trust my judgment and opinions again.
Self-esteem coming back, I don't feel buffeted by events but part of things and confident that I can at least control my actions and reactions to events though not control the events themselves.
More RELAXED! I don't feel that terrible wound up feeling I used to feel all the time.
I would expect to feel more physically healthy but I feel like crap, could be a bug or withdrawal effects, but I know it will pass.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 11
Thanks everyone, you've mentioned some things I can add to mine!
The slow increase of self respect, waking up not 'coming to' - I have MORNINGS. I couldn't remember what a real morning felt like. I've broken so many things because I was too drunk and so my stuff will be safer. No longer need to worry about embarassing phone calls or internet conversations (or real conversations if I happen to be out) that may have taken place.
I feel a sense of possibility, and GOOD uncertainty in each moment. When I was drinking, that was how I filled my time. And all the while there was a sense of monotony and entrapment. But now, whilst I know that I'm not going to go off doing some crazy drunken antic, there is a sense of genuine possibility that I might do something good, or positive, or constructive. I feel freer. I haven't managed to really find new ways to fill my time yet but before I would have just plopped down with a bottle of wine and probably felt sorry for myself. Now... instead I'd go for a walk or do some reading. Just little things. That probably makes no sense lol.
The slow increase of self respect, waking up not 'coming to' - I have MORNINGS. I couldn't remember what a real morning felt like. I've broken so many things because I was too drunk and so my stuff will be safer. No longer need to worry about embarassing phone calls or internet conversations (or real conversations if I happen to be out) that may have taken place.
I feel a sense of possibility, and GOOD uncertainty in each moment. When I was drinking, that was how I filled my time. And all the while there was a sense of monotony and entrapment. But now, whilst I know that I'm not going to go off doing some crazy drunken antic, there is a sense of genuine possibility that I might do something good, or positive, or constructive. I feel freer. I haven't managed to really find new ways to fill my time yet but before I would have just plopped down with a bottle of wine and probably felt sorry for myself. Now... instead I'd go for a walk or do some reading. Just little things. That probably makes no sense lol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by Pawprints 
Thanks everyone, you've mentioned some things I can add to mine!
The slow increase of self respect, waking up not 'coming to' - I have MORNINGS. I couldn't remember what a real morning felt like. I've broken so many things because I was too drunk and so my stuff will be safer. No longer need to worry about embarassing phone calls or internet conversations (or real conversations if I happen to be out) that may have taken place.
I feel a sense of possibility, and GOOD uncertainty in each moment. When I was drinking, that was how I filled my time. And all the while there was a sense of monotony and entrapment. But now, whilst I know that I'm not going to go off doing some crazy drunken antic, there is a sense of genuine possibility that I might do something good, or positive, or constructive. I feel freer. I haven't managed to really find new ways to fill my time yet but before I would have just plopped down with a bottle of wine and probably felt sorry for myself. Now... instead I'd go for a walk or do some reading. Just little things. That probably makes no sense lol.
The slow increase of self respect, waking up not 'coming to' - I have MORNINGS. I couldn't remember what a real morning felt like. I've broken so many things because I was too drunk and so my stuff will be safer. No longer need to worry about embarassing phone calls or internet conversations (or real conversations if I happen to be out) that may have taken place.
I feel a sense of possibility, and GOOD uncertainty in each moment. When I was drinking, that was how I filled my time. And all the while there was a sense of monotony and entrapment. But now, whilst I know that I'm not going to go off doing some crazy drunken antic, there is a sense of genuine possibility that I might do something good, or positive, or constructive. I feel freer. I haven't managed to really find new ways to fill my time yet but before I would have just plopped down with a bottle of wine and probably felt sorry for myself. Now... instead I'd go for a walk or do some reading. Just little things. That probably makes no sense lol.
You make all the sense in the world. Possibilites, that's what I never had when I was drinking, only consequences. Now, anything seems possible if I stay sober. I never thought it possible to go on the internet and find so many friends who understand.
If you take this one day at a time, your possibilities will grow exponentially. And so will the friends you have.
Yours in sobriety,
Ed
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
I feel better
I look better
I smell better
I sound better (don't slur my words)
more energy (lots more!)
I remember better
saving money
happier
better sex life
clean house
laundry don't pile up
I get to drive!
didn't make a fool of myself the night before
making awesome friends
self respect coming back
seeing the positive side
no more mystery bruises
beer belly shrinking
I love food now
I'm there for my grandkids & all of my family
no more squirts, can actually fart without worry
hey it's true!
chapped lips gone
it's not just me me me anymore
I'm trustworthy now
pride is coming back
my liver loves me now
I could type til my fingers bleed on this thread!
I look better
I smell better
I sound better (don't slur my words)
more energy (lots more!)
I remember better
saving money
happier
better sex life
clean house
laundry don't pile up
I get to drive!
didn't make a fool of myself the night before
making awesome friends
self respect coming back
seeing the positive side
no more mystery bruises
beer belly shrinking
I love food now
I'm there for my grandkids & all of my family
no more squirts, can actually fart without worry
hey it's true!chapped lips gone
it's not just me me me anymore
I'm trustworthy now
pride is coming back
my liver loves me now
I could type til my fingers bleed on this thread!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
I've been told I look younger and healthier
No more black circles under the eyes, not bloodshot
Remembered after 30 years how it felt to relax and easily slip into sleep instead of passing out
Not dizzy and disoriented in the morning
No anxiety attacks
No more popping into a sweat at the drop of a hat. Don't have to try and hide my sweaty forehead from others.
Drive without risk of DUI
Able to work Monday mornings instead of showing up shaking and sweaty
Ron
No more black circles under the eyes, not bloodshot
Remembered after 30 years how it felt to relax and easily slip into sleep instead of passing out
Not dizzy and disoriented in the morning
No anxiety attacks
No more popping into a sweat at the drop of a hat. Don't have to try and hide my sweaty forehead from others.
Drive without risk of DUI
Able to work Monday mornings instead of showing up shaking and sweaty
Ron
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 264
I hear myself laugh a lot more. Out loud.
I never used to laugh out loud. I just thought I wasn't that type of person.
Also, music moves me differently. An outstanding musical performance will actually send shivers up and down my spine and might even move me to tears. I thought that just happened in books, like a metaphor or something. Nope, it's real....
I never used to laugh out loud. I just thought I wasn't that type of person.
Also, music moves me differently. An outstanding musical performance will actually send shivers up and down my spine and might even move me to tears. I thought that just happened in books, like a metaphor or something. Nope, it's real....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Deinze, Belgium
Posts: 246
I'm actually happy when I get up.
I can drive the way back home when we go out.
I've got more energy.
I've met some great people here and in AA.
No more hangovers.
No more stomach acid.
I can remember what I did the night before.
I can focus more on my wife instead of myself.
My beer belly is shrinking
...
And this is only the stuff that came to mind the first 2 minutes. Imagine how long the list would be if I would really think things trough.
I can drive the way back home when we go out.
I've got more energy.
I've met some great people here and in AA.
No more hangovers.
No more stomach acid.
I can remember what I did the night before.
I can focus more on my wife instead of myself.
My beer belly is shrinking
...
And this is only the stuff that came to mind the first 2 minutes. Imagine how long the list would be if I would really think things trough.
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