I'm a newbie, hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: melbourne, victoria
Posts: 5
I'm a newbie, hello
I'm sure you get a lot of "I'm new here" threads around this joint, and there are probably threads and forums already erected for the likes of me, but I haven't yet had an extensive browse around here yet; perhaps I am impatient. I'm new here because I think I'm an alcoholic. This is only a realisation I came to today, after having been in denial, after dismissing the claims and warnings of friends and, equally worringly; strangers or people I meet over some drinks at parties, bars, wherever. A close friend has been calling me one of late and I've disputed all of this, saying it's merely a social thing, that we all get tanked together and the likes, and that I'm not getting off my face everyday, or not drinking everyday, so that makes it somewhat okay or a little bit less than okay. But I only realised today that I really can't afford to keep up my drinking habits for a number of reasons. My emotions, my efficiency, my creativity and passions and ambitions have all become muted since I started to get drunk. I have so many immediate desires that I lose very rapidly in a habitual succession because I get drunk. And I could create a long, long list full of reasons to get drunk, and a short list consisting of about two or three quickly-scrawled dot points for why I shouldn't. I feel very pathetic, I feel very, very pathetic.
My dad drinks and he says it's okay in moderation. But I've only just begun to realise that this is a very foreign concept to me; a very ancient concept, a very theoretical concept and not at all a practical, achieveable one for me. I'm beginning to fear and avoid invitations for social drinking sessions with friends because I don't think I am able anymore to 'moderate' myself - I can already predict, without much forethought, how the evening/day/whatever will unravel for me and ultimately cease. I will lose myself and forget myself in that act. I feel very pathetic because I am such a sensitive and creative person and I'm losing myself here, glass by glass.
So, I guess that's my brief introduction. I look forward to something fruitful. Thanks for listening,
Bunky.
My dad drinks and he says it's okay in moderation. But I've only just begun to realise that this is a very foreign concept to me; a very ancient concept, a very theoretical concept and not at all a practical, achieveable one for me. I'm beginning to fear and avoid invitations for social drinking sessions with friends because I don't think I am able anymore to 'moderate' myself - I can already predict, without much forethought, how the evening/day/whatever will unravel for me and ultimately cease. I will lose myself and forget myself in that act. I feel very pathetic because I am such a sensitive and creative person and I'm losing myself here, glass by glass.
So, I guess that's my brief introduction. I look forward to something fruitful. Thanks for listening,
Bunky.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Bunky,
You are not pathetic at all. Would you consider yourself pathetic if you had Multiple Schlerosis and couldn't function at full throttle in life? This is a disease. Many people don't have it and they can drink all their lives without the progression of alcoholism. I urge you to go the the excerpts page of the book "Under the Influence". It will explain the physical differences between alcoholics and normal drinkers.
We don't have an off switch because enzymes in our livers are using alcohol as food. Without that enzyme, the liver breaks down the alcohol and the person feels sick and there you go - off switch. Our bodies are telling us we need alcohol to survive. So no, you are not pathetic and neither is anyone here. And it is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrased about. It is not a lack of will power. We become some of the strongest people on the planet through our suffering and conquest.
We know the excuses why we should have a drink. It's Christmas, it's raining, it's sunny, I'm bored, and my fave from one of my friends here...it's arbor day. You get my drift. We forget the pain each time we pick up a drink. This disease is the only disease our bodies tell us we haven't got. Cunning, baffling, powerful. Another helpful post here told me that alcohol must be the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We wouldn't put our hand on a stove, get burnt and then expect not to get burnt the next time.
There is a way out for you and you can live a full life again so all your creativity can flourish. The people here know how - they are doing it. It's hard at first but it gets easier and we must always be on our guard. It is well worth it.
So welcome aboard and congratulations on taking a huge first step and telling us about your worries.
You can find yourself again. This site is a great start. Read all you can. Forgive yourself. Low self esteem is perhaps our greatest enemy after alcohol.
Your post has helped me stay sober today so thank you from the bottom of my heart..it helped me to remember why I stopped.
You are not pathetic at all. Would you consider yourself pathetic if you had Multiple Schlerosis and couldn't function at full throttle in life? This is a disease. Many people don't have it and they can drink all their lives without the progression of alcoholism. I urge you to go the the excerpts page of the book "Under the Influence". It will explain the physical differences between alcoholics and normal drinkers.
We don't have an off switch because enzymes in our livers are using alcohol as food. Without that enzyme, the liver breaks down the alcohol and the person feels sick and there you go - off switch. Our bodies are telling us we need alcohol to survive. So no, you are not pathetic and neither is anyone here. And it is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrased about. It is not a lack of will power. We become some of the strongest people on the planet through our suffering and conquest.
We know the excuses why we should have a drink. It's Christmas, it's raining, it's sunny, I'm bored, and my fave from one of my friends here...it's arbor day. You get my drift. We forget the pain each time we pick up a drink. This disease is the only disease our bodies tell us we haven't got. Cunning, baffling, powerful. Another helpful post here told me that alcohol must be the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We wouldn't put our hand on a stove, get burnt and then expect not to get burnt the next time.
There is a way out for you and you can live a full life again so all your creativity can flourish. The people here know how - they are doing it. It's hard at first but it gets easier and we must always be on our guard. It is well worth it.
So welcome aboard and congratulations on taking a huge first step and telling us about your worries.
You can find yourself again. This site is a great start. Read all you can. Forgive yourself. Low self esteem is perhaps our greatest enemy after alcohol.
Your post has helped me stay sober today so thank you from the bottom of my heart..it helped me to remember why I stopped.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Bunky welcome to SR, I am Martin, an alcoholic. I am not going to say you are an alcoholic, only you can do that and it looks as though you are there.
As pilgrim suggested read the excerts from "Under the influence" then read the "Doctors opinion" at the beginning of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", you will find that alcoholism is a physical disease and not a moral weakness or a lack of will power.
The first step in any recovery program is the admission that one is powerless over alcohol, in AA one not only realizes in the first step that they are powerless over alcohol, but also their lifes have become unmanagable. Unmanageable does not mean you can not do anything, it means that there are parts of your life that you can not manage, not the entire thing, but in reality the most important things.
I drank for 40 years and tried to stop the last 10 of those years on my own, those 10 years convinced me that I could not quit on my own, I found the solution to my drinking in AA along with millions of others. A program of face to face support of some sort is needed for the majority of alcoholics to quit drinking and stay stopped, I used AA and am now not only sober, but happier then I have been in over 30 years. I also thanks to following and working the 12 steps of AA have had the urge/need to drink lifted from me.
If you determine you are an alcoholic and you want to stop drinking I highly reccommend some sort of face to face recovery program, but I will tell you straight up that not a single one of them will work unless you follow directions/suggestions.
Welcome brother, and keep coming back.
As pilgrim suggested read the excerts from "Under the influence" then read the "Doctors opinion" at the beginning of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", you will find that alcoholism is a physical disease and not a moral weakness or a lack of will power.
The first step in any recovery program is the admission that one is powerless over alcohol, in AA one not only realizes in the first step that they are powerless over alcohol, but also their lifes have become unmanagable. Unmanageable does not mean you can not do anything, it means that there are parts of your life that you can not manage, not the entire thing, but in reality the most important things.
I drank for 40 years and tried to stop the last 10 of those years on my own, those 10 years convinced me that I could not quit on my own, I found the solution to my drinking in AA along with millions of others. A program of face to face support of some sort is needed for the majority of alcoholics to quit drinking and stay stopped, I used AA and am now not only sober, but happier then I have been in over 30 years. I also thanks to following and working the 12 steps of AA have had the urge/need to drink lifted from me.
If you determine you are an alcoholic and you want to stop drinking I highly reccommend some sort of face to face recovery program, but I will tell you straight up that not a single one of them will work unless you follow directions/suggestions.
Welcome brother, and keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Deinze, Belgium
Posts: 246
Welcome Bunky,
You're in the right place here! Keep hanging around. We'll be here whenever you need us. Saying no to mr. Booze is hard for a lot of people, but you can do it,... hell, loads uf us did.
You're in the right place here! Keep hanging around. We'll be here whenever you need us. Saying no to mr. Booze is hard for a lot of people, but you can do it,... hell, loads uf us did.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Hi bunky 
.
Here's your shouldn't list in your own words:
Stick around and read some of the sticky's. You'll find lots of info and support. I think wherever you feel most comfortable posting is the right place... there is a newcomers section up top if you want to say hi up there.
.
And I could create a long, long list full of reasons to get drunk, and a short list consisting of about two or three quickly-scrawled dot points for why I shouldn't.
But I only realised today that I really can't afford to keep up my drinking habits for a number of reasons. My emotions, my efficiency, my creativity and passions and ambitions have all become muted since I started to get drunk. I have so many immediate desires that I lose very rapidly in a habitual succession because I get drunk.
I am such a sensitive and creative person and I'm losing myself here, glass by glass.
I am such a sensitive and creative person and I'm losing myself here, glass by glass.
Stick around and read some of the sticky's. You'll find lots of info and support. I think wherever you feel most comfortable posting is the right place... there is a newcomers section up top if you want to say hi up there.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hello Bunky,
We sensitive, creative sorts seem overly susceptible to the drink. Just over 3 months ago (and 6 months before that) I realized I had "lost myself". I no longer had the ambition I once did. I no longer believed in the value of my life and existence. I was giving over everything I was to the false promises of booze. Alcohol had become my lover and best friend easing me thru every awkward and mundane moment of my life...but the dawn was coming. Finally it was starting to dawn on me that the very thing I depended upon for relief was the source of all my pain. I drank cuz I was lonely and felt that nothing was ever going my way...nothing was working out career wise or personally. I realized that in much of my life, drinking was making the intolerable, tolerable. Drinking was keeping me in suspension rather than a true player in life. Without alcohol, I am forced to look at my life and the callings of my soul. I have to "be here" to live. I have to "be here" to make decisions and end my own suffering. I have to "be here" to get out of my own prison. I could not postpone my life any longer.
Please keep posting.
Tracey
We sensitive, creative sorts seem overly susceptible to the drink. Just over 3 months ago (and 6 months before that) I realized I had "lost myself". I no longer had the ambition I once did. I no longer believed in the value of my life and existence. I was giving over everything I was to the false promises of booze. Alcohol had become my lover and best friend easing me thru every awkward and mundane moment of my life...but the dawn was coming. Finally it was starting to dawn on me that the very thing I depended upon for relief was the source of all my pain. I drank cuz I was lonely and felt that nothing was ever going my way...nothing was working out career wise or personally. I realized that in much of my life, drinking was making the intolerable, tolerable. Drinking was keeping me in suspension rather than a true player in life. Without alcohol, I am forced to look at my life and the callings of my soul. I have to "be here" to live. I have to "be here" to make decisions and end my own suffering. I have to "be here" to get out of my own prison. I could not postpone my life any longer.
Please keep posting.
Tracey
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 557
Hi bunky & welcome,
You like all of us have a desire to stop drinking, thats why we are here. Have a look around the boards and keep posting, this can be the start of your road to recovery.
I wish you well
chris
You like all of us have a desire to stop drinking, thats why we are here. Have a look around the boards and keep posting, this can be the start of your road to recovery.
I wish you well
chris
dum vita est spes est
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
Hey Bunk,
Congrats on your first step in the right direction! I have yet to read a story here that I can't relate to - so you must be family.
Gypsy mentioned the newbie forum, something I didn't even know existed until about a month after being here - so make sure you check it out too.
Blessings,
PR
Congrats on your first step in the right direction! I have yet to read a story here that I can't relate to - so you must be family.
Gypsy mentioned the newbie forum, something I didn't even know existed until about a month after being here - so make sure you check it out too.
Blessings,
PR
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Bunky,
Welcome to SR and what could be the beginning of the rest of your life. Hang out here. You will find out whether you are an alcoholic or not. Either way, we will be happy to help any way we can.
Welcome to SR and what could be the beginning of the rest of your life. Hang out here. You will find out whether you are an alcoholic or not. Either way, we will be happy to help any way we can.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I'm a newbie, hello
Originally Posted by chrisj728 
Hi bunky & welcome,
You like all of us have a desire to stop drinking, thats why we are here. Have a look around the boards and keep posting, this can be the start of your road to recovery.
I wish you well
chris
You like all of us have a desire to stop drinking, thats why we are here. Have a look around the boards and keep posting, this can be the start of your road to recovery.
I wish you well
chris
Welcome.
I'd like to add to what Chris said. In the Big Book of AA,
it says "For some of us it wasn't TO stop. The trick was to STAY stopped".
It has worked for me for 13 months.
Love,
IO Storm
"God holds me still in the eye of the Storm".
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