Enough Is Enough
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 7
Enough Is Enough
This is my very first post........... I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! I need help. I've been on online AA meetings, nothing against them, however they don't help me in the way that I think I need help. AA allows people to share their personal stories, and about how hard they've hit bottom, ets.....I know how hard I've hit, and while I have compassion for other people, I'm just looking for ways that people have actually gotten sober. Sure, my Higher Power is in my thoughts and mind, but there are physical and emotional changes that one HAS to happen in order to overcome the habit of drinking. How have 'you' quite drinking? Did you do anything other than pray and go to AA meetings? Did you change your diet, increase your exercise, take additional vitamins, sleep alot, etc...? Any response from anyone will help.
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Thin Ice
Posts: 96
Welcome to the SR forums.
Just wanted to welcome you to the site. There are many people here who love to share their experiences, strength, and hope.
I am sure some people here can help.
Good Luck Kimmie!
I am sure some people here can help.
Good Luck Kimmie!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
I got fed up with the way I was acting and feeling from years of alcohol abuse. Last week I went to a local chemical dependency hospital to inquire about intensive outpatient therapy. When the doctor heard how much i drank everyday, I was admitted to detox on the spot! I spent five days in detox and am now in a six week outpatient program. I am now 9 days sober and feel great.
Get professional help, go to as many AA meetings as you can stand. Most importantly, realize that sheer willpower alone will not beat this disease.
Get professional help, go to as many AA meetings as you can stand. Most importantly, realize that sheer willpower alone will not beat this disease.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
Going to meetings are just a part of A.A. and just the tip of the iceburg. But thats were I meet people who know how to live sober.
I quit drinking by going through a detox center,
I stay quit, by going to meetings, working the steps, talking to others who have stayed quit, and using there suggestions,I also like working with the newcomers.
and of course I pray.
I quit drinking by going through a detox center,
I stay quit, by going to meetings, working the steps, talking to others who have stayed quit, and using there suggestions,I also like working with the newcomers.
and of course I pray.
Last edited by The Jay Walker; 04-23-2003 at 01:08 PM.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The Great Plains
Posts: 9
Hi Kimmie. This is my very first post as well. You're right these message boards are ok, but Alcoholics Amonymous as I have experienced it has allways been, one drunk working another drunk, sharing experience strength and hope. Shoulder to shoulder, eyeball to eyeball. It's been going to coffee with my sponcer, attending meetings, sittin down with my sponcer reading and taking the actions that the first 164 pages of the big book talks about. Ya just can't do those things sittin at a computer. Places like these can and do help, so please don't take me wrong. But walking thru the doors of your first AA meeting is gonna be one of the most spiritual actions that you ever take. So please do yourself a favor and find a meeting. AA is usally in the phone book, if not then call your local police station, they most allways have a meeting list. When ya get there listen to what ppl are saying and talk to someone after the meeting. Be as honest as you've been in here. I promise, if you'll do those things, things in your life will start to change. Ya never have to drink again if you don't want to. Hey its been working for me now for 15 years and I once felt exactly the way you do right now. Give it a try, go to more than just one group. There's lots of friends ya haven't meet yet
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Hi KimmieWho and dustdevil,welcome to the forum.
I too found sobriety in AA by attending a lot of live face to face meetings.
AA is a programme that requires action and effort on our part.
Besides attending a lot of meetings I also got busy reading the literature and doing service work like going to meetings early and helping to set up chairs and make coffee,washing ashtrays and coffee cups.
I started working The Twelve Steps with a Sponsor and I found time at the end of the meeting to talk with newcomers.
All of these things were what helped me to finally put the bottle down.
I also found out that there was a lot of other non AA related things I could do to help with my recovery,a lot of which you mentioned Kimmie.Improving my eating habits,taking vitamin supplements and getting plenty of rest.I also found drinking a lot of water to be very helpful.
If we want recovery bad enough and we remain openminded to the suggestions we hear in AA and about other recovery related issues we will find a way to live sober.
I wish you the best of luck.
Peter.
I too found sobriety in AA by attending a lot of live face to face meetings.
AA is a programme that requires action and effort on our part.
Besides attending a lot of meetings I also got busy reading the literature and doing service work like going to meetings early and helping to set up chairs and make coffee,washing ashtrays and coffee cups.
I started working The Twelve Steps with a Sponsor and I found time at the end of the meeting to talk with newcomers.
All of these things were what helped me to finally put the bottle down.
I also found out that there was a lot of other non AA related things I could do to help with my recovery,a lot of which you mentioned Kimmie.Improving my eating habits,taking vitamin supplements and getting plenty of rest.I also found drinking a lot of water to be very helpful.
If we want recovery bad enough and we remain openminded to the suggestions we hear in AA and about other recovery related issues we will find a way to live sober.
I wish you the best of luck.
Peter.
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Berkeley, California
Posts: 40
Hi Kimmi,
I found I needed to go into a recovery program to start me on the road to sobriety. I had been using alcohol and pot as a method of coping for so many years, I needed more intensive work.
After finishing the recovery program I didn't want to have to go to AA meetings all the time though, so I didn't, and ended up relapsing after 8 months. So, I think whether it's AA meetings, or some other program, it's very important to hook up with some group meetings for support. A recovery program initially is a good strong start, and the continuing meetings afterwards is the way to go. Diet, exercise, all of that stuff will fall into place once you stop drinking.
By the way, I'm in my second recovery program now, and I go to meetings daily. I had to force myself to go until I finally wanted to go. Good luck!
I found I needed to go into a recovery program to start me on the road to sobriety. I had been using alcohol and pot as a method of coping for so many years, I needed more intensive work.
After finishing the recovery program I didn't want to have to go to AA meetings all the time though, so I didn't, and ended up relapsing after 8 months. So, I think whether it's AA meetings, or some other program, it's very important to hook up with some group meetings for support. A recovery program initially is a good strong start, and the continuing meetings afterwards is the way to go. Diet, exercise, all of that stuff will fall into place once you stop drinking.
By the way, I'm in my second recovery program now, and I go to meetings daily. I had to force myself to go until I finally wanted to go. Good luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 7
It's gonna be scarry
Thanks much to all of those who responded to my first post. I titled this 'it's gonna be scarry', because I've never actually tried to quit. I know I need to, and I must. I'll be 40 this year, and I've been drinking for over half of my life. For the past 8 years, I haven't gone without drinking for more than 4 days. Usually it's been more like every other day, if not every day. When I drink, I drink til it's gone, and then sometimes I go out for more. My choice is Jack Daniels. Hard stuff, I know. (Gut Rot) I used to party with my best friend, but she got pregnant, and now I drink alone. Her child w/be 8 so thats how long I know I"ve been drinking like a fish (actually about 5 yrs before that), but the 3-4 times a week for the past. Reasoning??? lots of excuses, but the entertaining one is, that booze allows me to be more active, in the sense that when I come home from work, I'd have a project to do, like cleaning, cooking, baking, cleaning out my closet, laundry, wrapping Christmas presents, organizing my photo albums, planting flowers and hooking up my 3rd floor apartment balcony, (I won our lighting contest 3 yrs in a row for Christmas), I liked using lilghts...about 2000 lites in a 3' x 8' square area. 
I've been living to drink for a long time, and I'm scared as hell what my life will be without drinking. On the nights that I do NOT drink, I don't do much of anything. I just laze around, feed my hangover (which I rarely get anymore), sleep, watch TV, and let everything go. I don't eat much past noon, because I think that if I do, it will take longer for me to get a buzz later. When offered a drink socially I decline, because I know it would never be enough, so whats the sense if I can't have my bottle? I've recently moved to an area that has so much more to do than where I'm from, (due to the place I worked closing it's doors) I'm collecting unemployment, and the thing that is scaring me most right now, is that I drink during the day now. I'll buy a fifth of JD about noon, (because in my mind, I know I'll drink more than a pint, and I wouldn't want to go out later to get more, and I won't drink it all anyways, save some for the next time)....Yeah RIGHT!!!! The most I ever leave in a fifth is about 3 inches...I could go on and on and on...The bottom line is, I have a problem here, and so damn scared to live without that buzz. I chain smoke when I drink, hack up my left lung during the night, only to get up and do it all over again. I need to find a job, I've worked at a job for 10 years, and my roommate of 2 years has not been working regularly, so that's an excuse for me to be lax in looking for a job, because I've moreless supported her during that time, and now it's my turn to sit back (bad, I know). She hates it whenI drink, and you wouldn't believe how many hiding places you can find when you want. She likes to throw my booze out, which infuriates me, and gives me a reason to go buy more. We argue and fight so much about my drinking...I know i have a problem, I know I have to quit before it quits me. It's scarry. I wish there were a written plan, almost like a "TO DO" list for this life changing endeavor I am about to tackle. I know it's going to be hard. I've thought all along that I could stop on my own when I really really wanted to, (like I did with crack and weed over 15 years ago)...but this is going to be harder to do than any bad habit I've ever broke. I hear the rewards of quitting are the greatest...can't wait for that to happen.
Well, I've probably wrote too much here for anyone to read in one sitting, so I'll close for now. It helps to vent, and to share with others what kind of life I have, which is next to none, it all revolves around booze...Thanks for reading. Any input is appreciated. Thanks, and have a great one.
I've been living to drink for a long time, and I'm scared as hell what my life will be without drinking. On the nights that I do NOT drink, I don't do much of anything. I just laze around, feed my hangover (which I rarely get anymore), sleep, watch TV, and let everything go. I don't eat much past noon, because I think that if I do, it will take longer for me to get a buzz later. When offered a drink socially I decline, because I know it would never be enough, so whats the sense if I can't have my bottle? I've recently moved to an area that has so much more to do than where I'm from, (due to the place I worked closing it's doors) I'm collecting unemployment, and the thing that is scaring me most right now, is that I drink during the day now. I'll buy a fifth of JD about noon, (because in my mind, I know I'll drink more than a pint, and I wouldn't want to go out later to get more, and I won't drink it all anyways, save some for the next time)....Yeah RIGHT!!!! The most I ever leave in a fifth is about 3 inches...I could go on and on and on...The bottom line is, I have a problem here, and so damn scared to live without that buzz. I chain smoke when I drink, hack up my left lung during the night, only to get up and do it all over again. I need to find a job, I've worked at a job for 10 years, and my roommate of 2 years has not been working regularly, so that's an excuse for me to be lax in looking for a job, because I've moreless supported her during that time, and now it's my turn to sit back (bad, I know). She hates it whenI drink, and you wouldn't believe how many hiding places you can find when you want. She likes to throw my booze out, which infuriates me, and gives me a reason to go buy more. We argue and fight so much about my drinking...I know i have a problem, I know I have to quit before it quits me. It's scarry. I wish there were a written plan, almost like a "TO DO" list for this life changing endeavor I am about to tackle. I know it's going to be hard. I've thought all along that I could stop on my own when I really really wanted to, (like I did with crack and weed over 15 years ago)...but this is going to be harder to do than any bad habit I've ever broke. I hear the rewards of quitting are the greatest...can't wait for that to happen.Well, I've probably wrote too much here for anyone to read in one sitting, so I'll close for now. It helps to vent, and to share with others what kind of life I have, which is next to none, it all revolves around booze...Thanks for reading. Any input is appreciated. Thanks, and have a great one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
You just told my story, except I drank EVERY day. Go to a chemical dependency hospital and let them do an assessment on you. They will probably recommend detox if you are ingesting that much. I just did this and it was the best move I have ever made. 10 days sober and in outpatient therapy. Don't mess around with this diseease!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
Welcome to you both
Glad you're both here, and though I agree with the comments about going to meetings (there really is no substitute for seeing how taking the steps of AA do work for another), I have found this board rather illuminating and helpful in my sobriety as well.
Kimmiewho...I can so identify with your last post. You spoke for me as much as you did yourself. That's one of the amazing things about those of us who share this disease...we already know each other before we ever even meet. Our stories being as common as they are only reveals further that this disease doesn't discriminate in any way amongst people, neither by length of drinking time, economic status, or anything else.
Every time I read or hear a story like yours, it reminds me of how deadly and progressive a disease this is. I am not going to go so far as to say you are an alcoholic as that's not my place; however, I will suggest that if you are, your best efforts may not prove terribly fruitful as an alcoholic, no matter what code of living he or she might use, no matter how much pain he or she may have sufffered, no matter how positive the intentions or fierce the resolve, labors away not knowing they have no choice at all regarding alcohol. That's not a character flaw...only the nature of the disease.
At some point in each of our drinking careers, we loose all control when we drink, and find we are absolutely incapable of stopping, nor of recalling to mind with any sufficient strength any previous suffering to protect us against that first drink. IN short, not only do we have no choice, but we are without defense against that first drink that starts yet another senseless and baffling spree.
The good news is there is a solution, the solution itself is every bit as progressive as is the disease, and the one I have found that I know works is the steps of AA. By simply taking those steps no matter what else was going on in my life or mind or emotions, I have become increasingly aware of a power greater than myself that is in fact solving my problems. The obsession to drink has literally been removed from me, something I would never have believed could happen.
I have no direct experience with detox facilities; however, I have observed many who have, and it proved very beneficial to their start. Perhaps that is a good place to start to help with the immediate physical malady and withdrawals. In time, this HP of your understanding will provide what you need to remain sober one day at a time.
I'll also add that I have made coffee, wiped tables, emptied ash trays, and set up tables. Doing those things got me out of myself, and did in fact provide a useful service to other people.
Blessings
Kimmiewho...I can so identify with your last post. You spoke for me as much as you did yourself. That's one of the amazing things about those of us who share this disease...we already know each other before we ever even meet. Our stories being as common as they are only reveals further that this disease doesn't discriminate in any way amongst people, neither by length of drinking time, economic status, or anything else.
Every time I read or hear a story like yours, it reminds me of how deadly and progressive a disease this is. I am not going to go so far as to say you are an alcoholic as that's not my place; however, I will suggest that if you are, your best efforts may not prove terribly fruitful as an alcoholic, no matter what code of living he or she might use, no matter how much pain he or she may have sufffered, no matter how positive the intentions or fierce the resolve, labors away not knowing they have no choice at all regarding alcohol. That's not a character flaw...only the nature of the disease.
At some point in each of our drinking careers, we loose all control when we drink, and find we are absolutely incapable of stopping, nor of recalling to mind with any sufficient strength any previous suffering to protect us against that first drink. IN short, not only do we have no choice, but we are without defense against that first drink that starts yet another senseless and baffling spree.
The good news is there is a solution, the solution itself is every bit as progressive as is the disease, and the one I have found that I know works is the steps of AA. By simply taking those steps no matter what else was going on in my life or mind or emotions, I have become increasingly aware of a power greater than myself that is in fact solving my problems. The obsession to drink has literally been removed from me, something I would never have believed could happen.
I have no direct experience with detox facilities; however, I have observed many who have, and it proved very beneficial to their start. Perhaps that is a good place to start to help with the immediate physical malady and withdrawals. In time, this HP of your understanding will provide what you need to remain sober one day at a time.
I'll also add that I have made coffee, wiped tables, emptied ash trays, and set up tables. Doing those things got me out of myself, and did in fact provide a useful service to other people.
Blessings
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: N.Tx.
Posts: 22
Hi Kimmiewho,
I sympathise with your predicament, your experience sounds so similar to mine except that I avoided whiskey because it really did a number on me. And for years it seemed like I lived with a continuous hangover. THE hardest part for me was quitting due to the withdrawal symptoms, but I managed to tough it out through the many times that I stopped. If you feel like you need to, do see a doctor or a detox clinic, it may be a great asset to you.
My life is so much better now that I no longer drink, that sounds so cliche but I'll say it anyway. Kimmie, you can stop and you don't ever have to drink again if you don't want to. Keep your mind open to possibilities that are available to help you stop and remain so. I'm sure you will find your way through this.
Good luck
Stan
I sympathise with your predicament, your experience sounds so similar to mine except that I avoided whiskey because it really did a number on me. And for years it seemed like I lived with a continuous hangover. THE hardest part for me was quitting due to the withdrawal symptoms, but I managed to tough it out through the many times that I stopped. If you feel like you need to, do see a doctor or a detox clinic, it may be a great asset to you.
My life is so much better now that I no longer drink, that sounds so cliche but I'll say it anyway. Kimmie, you can stop and you don't ever have to drink again if you don't want to. Keep your mind open to possibilities that are available to help you stop and remain so. I'm sure you will find your way through this.
Good luck
Stan
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
DallasHawkins
I relate so much to your post,
the hardest part for me was the withdrawl too.
I tried so many times, then the withdrawls and D.T.s would start and I would just have another drink,
finally I got into a detox center, after that I have stayed sober, and I sure hope I never have to go through that again.
I relate so much to your post,
the hardest part for me was the withdrawl too.
I tried so many times, then the withdrawls and D.T.s would start and I would just have another drink,
finally I got into a detox center, after that I have stayed sober, and I sure hope I never have to go through that again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 7
...talk about rituals....
Rituals...We all have them. I certainly have mine...This is going to be my LAST...My kitchen is clean, my roommate is fed, my floors are clean, and I'm just about to place my last drink in the sink. A few ice cubes to suck on, however... I so much want to give up booze.....A few light hours away, and it will be April 25th...My day of sobriety.....I NEED TO/I WANT TO/ I HAVE TO....in order to maintain my own livlihood (sp?) It's funny, that I havethe urge to tell al about ALL....including the most personal things that I can't even share w/my closest sister, when it comes to my drinking.....We all have so many stories to share, so many things to jusify the "who, what, where, whens and whys" we drink........I've been drunk way too longh, and I don't even have any more reasons...it's all become habit....
Kimmie is SO READY TO GIVE THIS BULL S*** up tonight...I've been ready for a long long time...My balls just haven't been BIG enough thus far............So damn tired, and so damn enious of all those who have given it up for good. I'm not sure how long it's going to take to get over the blues/booze...but I HAVE TO TTAKE A CHANCE and just DO IT!!!!............So as I type these words, I am sipping my last...
I know that it helps to hear from people, giving high "5's", and words of encouragement...but the most encouragement somes from 'within thyself'...and I'mgoing on that!!!! I have to believe that I want the most for ME, MYSELF and I....I do so much that it scrares me.
I have a question...Is it wrong for me tp use this forum as a 'sounding' board???? I hope that's not what people see this as...I am just expressing what I haven't been able to do for quite some time. This helps me to be able to see what I say and what is SAID in return.
my fave phrase???? Please God, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN. I am able, I am strong enough, and and I know that If I keep coming back here, I'll have more faith than I ever thought I could...
My last drink....My last excuse....My last hell hole......So much looking forward to tomorrow...I have a taste for an Orange Serbet w/vanilla ice cream...(LOL)
...Thank you to all who have read this , and thank you in advance to all who will read further...I really want to be sober, and I am looking forward to all that being SOBER has to offer....
....Kimmie
Kimmie is SO READY TO GIVE THIS BULL S*** up tonight...I've been ready for a long long time...My balls just haven't been BIG enough thus far............So damn tired, and so damn enious of all those who have given it up for good. I'm not sure how long it's going to take to get over the blues/booze...but I HAVE TO TTAKE A CHANCE and just DO IT!!!!............So as I type these words, I am sipping my last...
I know that it helps to hear from people, giving high "5's", and words of encouragement...but the most encouragement somes from 'within thyself'...and I'mgoing on that!!!! I have to believe that I want the most for ME, MYSELF and I....I do so much that it scrares me.
I have a question...Is it wrong for me tp use this forum as a 'sounding' board???? I hope that's not what people see this as...I am just expressing what I haven't been able to do for quite some time. This helps me to be able to see what I say and what is SAID in return.
my fave phrase???? Please God, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN. I am able, I am strong enough, and and I know that If I keep coming back here, I'll have more faith than I ever thought I could...
My last drink....My last excuse....My last hell hole......So much looking forward to tomorrow...I have a taste for an Orange Serbet w/vanilla ice cream...(LOL)
...Thank you to all who have read this , and thank you in advance to all who will read further...I really want to be sober, and I am looking forward to all that being SOBER has to offer....
....Kimmie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
Kimmie, more power to you. I admire your resolve to kick this terrible disease. But remember, there are very few who can do this through sheer will power. Go to meetings, seek help, rely on support groups and this forum. I look forward to your progress and good luck!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
Kimmie
__________________________________________________ _
Kimmie is SO READY TO GIVE THIS BULL S*** up tonight...I've been ready for a long long time...My balls just haven't been BIG enough thus far............
__________________________________________________ _
Would that balls are all it takes, and perhaps in your case, that will be enough; however, experience has shown that the real alcoholic, no matter the strength of the resolve in the mind, is ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE, of stopping on his own. Each of us who have tried have been baffled at how we simply could not, and the failed attempt only brought confusion and despair known by few.
It isn't a character flaw and says nothing of a person as a human being. It is a disease, every bit as deadly as cancer. We are all, my friend, alike in that regard to the person.
There is a solution, and thank God there is, as we all at some point placed ourselves beyond human aid of any kind. We HAD to have God.
__________________________________________________
So damn tired, and so damn envious of all those who have given it up for good....but I HAVE TO TAKE A CHANCE and just DO IT
__________________________________________________ _
I can assure you that those of us who have given it up had to have help. I appreciate your passion and resolve here greatly, as it can serve you well, but it is useless in combating the disease all by itself, if you are one of us.
If you wish to know more of how we have given it up, of this solution we have all found that works, I would encourage you to seek out your local AA circles. Meet with a person face to face and talk to them. Call and have someone come to you.
No need to be concerned about how long it will take, as it is as simple as giving it up one day, maybe even one hour, at a time. None of us have really given it up for good, but we each have given it up one day at a time.
Blessings
Kimmie is SO READY TO GIVE THIS BULL S*** up tonight...I've been ready for a long long time...My balls just haven't been BIG enough thus far............
__________________________________________________ _
Would that balls are all it takes, and perhaps in your case, that will be enough; however, experience has shown that the real alcoholic, no matter the strength of the resolve in the mind, is ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE, of stopping on his own. Each of us who have tried have been baffled at how we simply could not, and the failed attempt only brought confusion and despair known by few.
It isn't a character flaw and says nothing of a person as a human being. It is a disease, every bit as deadly as cancer. We are all, my friend, alike in that regard to the person.
There is a solution, and thank God there is, as we all at some point placed ourselves beyond human aid of any kind. We HAD to have God.
__________________________________________________
So damn tired, and so damn envious of all those who have given it up for good....but I HAVE TO TAKE A CHANCE and just DO IT
__________________________________________________ _
I can assure you that those of us who have given it up had to have help. I appreciate your passion and resolve here greatly, as it can serve you well, but it is useless in combating the disease all by itself, if you are one of us.
If you wish to know more of how we have given it up, of this solution we have all found that works, I would encourage you to seek out your local AA circles. Meet with a person face to face and talk to them. Call and have someone come to you.
No need to be concerned about how long it will take, as it is as simple as giving it up one day, maybe even one hour, at a time. None of us have really given it up for good, but we each have given it up one day at a time.
Blessings
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Nashville TN
Posts: 42
Enough is enough
Welcome aboard! These are the exact same questions that I ask myself when I first decided to get sober. I was looking for a way to just feel better. I thought, as all alcoholics do, that if i could just stop drinking long enough and find some way to stop feeling like s*#t, that my life would get better and I could maybe drink like other people. I tried excercise, vitamins, drinking health drinks, and using happy pills. They did make me feel a lttile better physically, but emotionally and spiritually I felt hopeless and did not want to go on living. After three treatment centers, I decided that my way of fixing myself was not ever going to work. I was introduced to AA and my first impression was not good. I thought, "what a bunch of losers!" I never had a DUI. I finished college as a drunk. I work for a Fortune 50 company and have no criminal record. I never lost any posessions or friends. But what I found out later on was that no bankrupcy is worse that the one that the alcoholic experiences. I went to some meetings and all I could hear was the differences. I did not want to associate myself with these "weak" people. This went on until I heard a few choice sharings where the person speaking was basically telling my story. I was left feeling both afraid and relieved. I then knew that I was not alone, but also realized if my life was to get better, I had to try something different, something that I thought would not work for me. I dropped my incredible alcoholic ego and decided to prove that AA was not for me and proceeded to work the program just to show that there was no way 12 lttle steps could help this "incredible person who just drinks to much". As I worked the steps with my sponsor and kept going to meetings, I learned that the drink was only a symptom of the real problem and that something inside me was making me want to "self medicate" not to face these issues. The 12 steps took this weight off my soul and helped me face the problems in my life without having to get smashed. I used to look at AA as a "cult" that was not for me. Now I cannot wait to get to a meeting. These "losers" saved my life and I love all of them. We are all brothers and sisters with the same disease. If I were to tell you all of the ways my life has gotten better, it would take up this entire serve's hard drive. People cannot believe the difference in the person they see now. You can get sober without AA. Many people have through church, therapy, and some other ways. All I know is that MY way does not work at all. I hope you find what I have. I am a walking miracle. 20 months ago, I could not live without alcohol. Now today, I could not imagine life in the drink. Good luck and God speed.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Bear DE
Posts: 31
Welcome Kimmiwho
Physical and emotional changes? Hm. Physical changes, I'm sure there are but don't know any besides actually flushing alcohol from the system. Sorry.
Emotional changes I can share a little about. I have generalized anxiety disorder. I used to drink because, among other things, I wanted to numb the anxiety. Drinking did a wonderful job of blotting that out.
So, after I got sober, I was hit with a wave of anxiety. It was difficult but I made it through with my HP and the help of others. I did not like feeling anything. I had to learn to cope with my emotions in a manner that did not involve alcohol.
I'd love to say there's some magic ******** that will put eternal smiles on our faces (besides Prozac HA!), but I think recovery happens different ways for different people.
I know you've discussed prayer and meetings, but they will help with your emotional issues. Knowing that God cares about you, and knowing that there are a room full of people who have been there and will listen to you can create a wonderful feeling of security and fellowship. It's a start at least.
For now, I would concentrate on not drinking 24 hours at a time. The other things will fall into place.
Welcome to the community and God bless.
Emotional changes I can share a little about. I have generalized anxiety disorder. I used to drink because, among other things, I wanted to numb the anxiety. Drinking did a wonderful job of blotting that out.
So, after I got sober, I was hit with a wave of anxiety. It was difficult but I made it through with my HP and the help of others. I did not like feeling anything. I had to learn to cope with my emotions in a manner that did not involve alcohol.
I'd love to say there's some magic ******** that will put eternal smiles on our faces (besides Prozac HA!), but I think recovery happens different ways for different people.
I know you've discussed prayer and meetings, but they will help with your emotional issues. Knowing that God cares about you, and knowing that there are a room full of people who have been there and will listen to you can create a wonderful feeling of security and fellowship. It's a start at least.
For now, I would concentrate on not drinking 24 hours at a time. The other things will fall into place.
Welcome to the community and God bless.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Traverse City, MI
Posts: 7
Another 24 hours
hello, and thanks for the words of hope. Yesterday I kept my PJs on until about 5 pm. I let my roommate take my car to work so I wouldn't have that extra temptation to run out and get some booze. I can usually handle not drinking every other day, so yesterday was not significant in my eyes. It's today that worries me. I cried alot though. I feel so damn guilty about what I have allowed booze to do to me. I called AA and inquired about meetings that are in my area. There was one at 5:30 (not enough time to get to) and one at 8:00. I picked up my roommate from work and we went to get a bite to eat. If I ate, I knew I wouldn't be tempted to drink, because I wouldn't be able to get a god buzz going. After eating, we went home, and I didn't feel like going back out. I am, however going to see if there is a meeting this morning. I do want to take that first step. I'm so scared that I'll start crying, just like I do at church, because the guilt just rushes up on me. On Easter Sunday, before and also during mass, I prayed that I wouldn't start to cry. Tears welled up, but I didn't actually cry. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, and that is how I look at it when I start to cry. Today is a new day. Another 24 hours. I'll spend most of the day with my Mom. Shoud I be posting here upon every little accomplishment? Should I be using this forumas I am? I'm going now to the AA meeting schedule. I'm kind of excited that I'm finally going to do this on my own, yet scared at the same time. I appreciate the feedback, and words of hope from everyone. Keep them coming. Have a Great Day.
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