YaDude

I was doing good and last Friday I picked up a twelve pack and thought I good just drink a little and be ok.
Then I woke up Saturday and drank all day. On Saturday night a cop took me home. I'm not sure how I got there but after leaving a friends house I guess I was parked on the side of a road.
At least I didn't get a DUI but I remember the cop being nice and driving me home. After he dropped me off and left I went to fridgerator and kept drinking.
I took a cab to my truck the next morning and drank all day Sunday again.
Anyway I ended up calling in sick to work again yesterday which doesn't look good.
I'm going to start again and I feel strong this time. The problem is by the time this weekend hits I wont feel depressed any more and will want to drink and have fun.
I'm going to definetly get back to church this weekend also.

Golfman

Hey Dude,

Sounds like you're just not ready to give it up yet. Your plan of going to church is a nice one. Are you going to follow through on that? What about an AA meeting Dude?

CarolD

Have you been going to AA meetings?
That helps me to stay sober.

In reading this post I di not see that your
drinking is fun.
Sounds depressing and dangerous.

You are really lucky you did not kill someone
or yourself while driving drunk.
A DUI was called for in my state.

Your job may be shakey as well.
Then what?

Please get AA meetings in your life.
You will be amazed how much better
things can work in your favor.

Keep posing..

marius404

Hope things go better for you this weekend. I am kinda stuck in the same destructive pattern too. The one where on Monday I never wanna drink again, then when the weekend arrives all my willpower seems to vanish. Then next monday its "ok, for real this time, never again".

YaDude

i'm ready to stop now before i hurt myself or worse hurt someone else. after a couple of weeks of not drinking i just keep feeling like i'm good now and start drinking again. its a bad cycle i'm in but i have talked to a couple of friends who want to help me and not drink together. I would like to try AA meetings but i feel too ambarrased to talk to other people. I went to NA before and didn't really like it too much. maybe i should give it another chance.

aasharon90

You never have to feel embarresed or alone when
u r amongst others in recovery.....why? because we
have all been where u r one time or another....There
wont be anyone else that will understand exactly how
u feel or what u r going thru except others in recovery...
or sitting in those rooms....

I finally had to ADMIT I was POWERLESS over alcohol and
my life had become unmanageable.

So many time i tried to quit drinking on my own vowing
never to drink again to only fail once more....

I just couldnt stop...no matter what ...till i had a
horrible accident in Feb 90....healed very well from
that with no alcohol till Aug 90 and then tried to
end my life.....the progression of my disease was
extremely rapid that i didnt know what hit me....

If u notice that each time u stop drinking for a few days
weeks, months, even a yr....to only pick up again....
U will notice that u picked up with where u left off
before....and now the craving are wild....

For me...today...there would never be enough alcohol
in this world to satisfy my craving for it.....NEVER.

For me alcohol is poison and it will KILL ME.

To drink is to die....


Get the help u need and ull never be alone.

Rowan

Hey Dude,

you don't need to share anything at AA meetings. Maybe your friends who wish to quit drinking also could join you?
I hope you keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. Don't give up. There's an amazing life waiting out there.

Rowan

GlassPrisoner

Dude, you're soooooo close to the edge right now.

I was the same way, but didn't see it. It seemed to me like I woke up one morning, unemployed, alone, and going through DTs. It happens fast, you don't see it........

I finally found AA, and as of today I have 133 days sobriety, my kids, and a promising mew career as a freelance database consultant.

Don't go as far down as we did. Still, you might have to. I did.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Hush007

... but you are definitly taking the first steps towards the road to recovery. Keep checking in here, go to church and try to find the courage to go to the AA.

Tazman53

Dude you are almost there, but until you are willing to do anything to get and stay sober you are going to continue on the roller coaster ride you are on right now.

I spent the last 10 years of my 40 year career trying to quit, always hating myself and how weak I was!

I finally reached the point where I was willing to do anything to get and stay sober, I went into detox and then into AA, I now have 170 days sober without a single relapse thanks to AA. I am also happier then I have been in over 30 years thanks to AA.

As others have said, you have nothing to be embarassed about in an AA meeting, I do not care what you have done while drinking or sober, there will be folks in that AA meeting that have been there and done that and a whole lot worse. Some of the most happy serene people I know in AA have been to jail and prison, many have lost everything, some have not yet we all understand each other.

AA is a group of alcoholics whose primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics gain sobriety.

The only rule in AA is there are no rules and the only requirement to be a member is a desire to stop drinking.

When you go to a meeting show up about 15 minutes before it starts and plan on staying a little late to talk. You may want to even ask someone what a temporary sponsor is.

TryingisDying

AA my friend.....just sit and listen and let it all sink in...You don't have to talk..just listen

bye_bye_vodka

I myself had tried by myself to quit and couldn't. Going to detox was the best thing for me and believe it or not it wasn't bad at all. Best thing I had ever done. I haven't picked up since.

ay100

Hey my friend;

Never lose hope. Although I never came to a point that I drank non-stop and balcked out and started drinking again. I totally understand your craving or intense desire to keep on drinking. Therefore, I always battle with my urges. If I take a drink I know I will keep on drinking till I regret it.

Please try AA it really works when you are among alcoholics who are trying to quit or quit already.

Peace and Good Luck!

YaDude

Thanks everyone for all the advice.
I think i will try to find an AA meeting maybe this Saturday if I can find one. Saturday is the hardest day of the week for me. I would like to go with a friend so I don't go by myself.
I'm thinking that even if someone doesn't have time to go with me i'm going to try going by myself anyways.
I thought that I could take care of this problem by myself because I don't drink every day but I guess I am powerless over alcohal.

Golfman

If you truly believe in your heart that you are powerless over alcohol, you've taken the first step. Don't worry, it only gets better if you go to AA and stick around here.

Tazman53

Dude my sponsor got sober in Ca. Look up the AA hotline number for your area and talk to someone, tell them you are looking for a beginners meeting and you would rather not go alone, they can arrange for someone to either meet you at the meeting or pick you up and take you there. In LA there are more meetings then you can imagine, every meeting is different, if you don't like one just pick another one to go to. They have them every day of the week, morning, noon and night.

YaDude

thanks I like the idea that there is beginner meetings. I was unaware of that. I figure there is a lot of meetings around here. I'm going to look for one in my area, maybe on an AA website or something.

Tazman53

Dude in LA there are so many AA meetings that it will boggle your mind! The more you go to initially the easier your recovery will be. Get phone numbers of sober folks at the meetings and ask about a temporary sponsor.

The phone numbers can make the difference between drinking and not, all you have to do when your butt is on fire for a drink to put it out is simply call one of your AA contacts, a sponsor is even better.

hope3

If I travel the same path, I should know what

is at the end of that path...

Try a new path to sobriety, just wishing it away,

and telling yourself that maybe next weekend will

be different when you don't change a thing in between

probably won't work, got any other paths to try?

Hope3

Nuudawn

Dude,
I truly hope you give AA a shot. For me, there is no substitute for the fellowship of other drunks who have led me to understand that we are all fallible and flawed humans doing our best in this world. AA is simply a community of support...support from those who have been and felt just where you are. In my early sobriety, my jaw constantly dropped at the eerily similar stories, behaviours, personality traits and feelings I heard from my fellow drunks. And BTW, you don't have to drink everyday to be an alcoholic...that was my downfall in convincing myself I was a "drunk" way back when...before I wasted years and years "partying my arse off" and never growing up, developing coping mechanisms, emotional muscle...you will never find peace and contentment in the bottom of a bottle or 12 pack...I guarantee you that. You will only find a perpetual cycle of shame and discontent...for a momentary and pricey high.