Dee74

Forgive the self quote but like I said to someone else recently, we change over the years and so does our addiction.

Alcoholism is progressive, and as it progresses it makes permanent changes in our bodies and brain.

Most of us got started with drinking because we felt it worked....but what 'worked' for me at 25 most definitely did not work for me at 40....but I kept chasing the feeling and the effect I used to have at 25....

it's the essence of futility IMO.

D

MaxR

And it's really difficult because of all the temptation and the low low feelings that come back after the effects have worn off. And anxiety on top of anxiety. I feel disconnected and struggling to feel any happiness or enjoyment.

Take it day by day, I guess.

DUG1972

Just found this forum. I'm trying to quit drinking. Haven't had a drink in 3 days. I typically drink about a pint of whiskey every 2 days. I'm 6'3, 40 years old and 340 lbs. I don't think I am an alcoholic but I am alcoholic dependent. Little back story. I was a pot head for 5 years in my early 20s. Got sick of that and started drinking. I do have a very high IQ that was measured when I was young, so for the people that talk about boredom on here, I totally get it. About 3 years ago I had my first panic attack after hitting a joint once, which I never smoke pot as previously mentioned. Over that year I went to the ER a few times, had every test under the sun done on me and eventually started several forms of therapy. I had let myself go in my early 30s up to 400 lbs. i lost 100 lbs 4 years ago. So when the panic attacks started coming, I thought I had a real physical problem. I gained 50 of it back in dating a new girl who is tiny and eats whatever. Took me a couple months to figure that out and now I'm back on track to loosing weight. Haven't had a panic attack in 2 years either, although I still suffer from major anxiety and take 0.5 mg Kolonopin in the evening. I was on anti depressants for a few months last year because I was trying to be open minded, bug didn't really do anything for me except issues in the bedroom. They had to start me off super slow on them anyways because I am super sensitive to SSRI side effects. I have been off high blood pressure meds for about 2 years since I lost the weight. Although I am borderline again. I had an old stash of blood pressure meds (antenenol) that I started to take again recently because my blood pressure has been going up and not down in drinking less. Also find myself taking a 2nd 0.5 mg of Kolonopine to take the edge off at night from not drinking. I mainly am experimenting with this completely not drinking thing to see if I can loose weight faster and get rid of my anxiety. At least thin out my anxiety anyways so it doesn't hit me like a hammer at around 9pm and make my blood pressure spike to 150 over 90. lol My girlfriend I have been with for over a year now is the most non addictive person I have ever met. She'll have a glass a wine a couple times a week. She'll have a cig like once a month. We are so opposite sometimes that it drives me crazy, but think she is good for me I'm a lot of regards. I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing by not drinking at all. It's such a black and white decision. I was brought up in a very black and white religion that my therapist has been trying to instill in me not to be. I am very confused on what to do. I know someone will say, as my therapist does, you have to do what feels right. I just don't know and am very confused. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. From what I have read on here, everyone one of you are magnificent people.

twistwrister

I know it's an old thread but it's a good one.

I quit drinking 6 weeks ago. It got to the point where I was drinking every night. 4-6 beers after work, 3 martinis on Friday or Saturday night. Sometimes on the way home from work it was a 24oz malt liquor downed in 15 minutes.

I'm experiencing depression. I've sat on the couch the past 3 weekends doing nothing all day. Work sucks, I don't even want to be there. Hard to get up in the morning and face the day. A lot of it is situational but the way I feel is not conducive to changing the situation.

Anyway thanks for the forum and this thread, it's helped.

siab13

Not sure I qualify as 'sober' yet, and I know this is an old thread, but I turned my back on drinking over a week ago now, and whilst I've been finding it fairly easy to resist the urge to wake up and go straight out on a booze run for the day, the anxiety I've been feeling since a few days in is really getting to me. I'm getting very nervous and tearful when even the slightest thing goes wrong, or even when the phone rings. Does anyone know if this is a normal chemical reaction, and, if so, when my neurons may start to recover?! I appreciate this is also very much tied in with emotional issues as well but I've felt in very good spirits since quitting so I'm a bit confused.

Restart9

I'm on day 9 today and I'm experiencing a lot of the same things I've seen posted here. Anxiety, depression, worry and very unmotivated.

siab13

I've been finding that the only way to self-motivate is to opt into things that I can't get out of. Making plans that I don't really feel like doing but then end up havng to do is at least keeping me busy enough not to really feel the cravings (which have been bad today - day 10). Try including other people in your plans so that it's not just you you're letting down if you can't be bothered. I've also told all of my friends that I'm not drinking, and I've emphasised how serious I am about it - that way they don't pressurise me into drinking.

Dee74

Welcome siab and restart

It's a very common and normal reaction for emotions to be all over the place - but having support helps, and you'll both certainly find that here

D

tonigel

I'd just like to bump this answer to the front again. Simple, yet bang on the money.

chefgeno27

this is a good read. my company is putting pressure on me for accountability about my sobriety that is setting me up for failure after understanding this. I sent it to my supervisor, he's a smart guy I hope he understands.

chefgeno27

understanding PAWS

Fredo1981

OMG! i don't know how i arrived here but this is exactly what i am going through,i stopped drinking on the 31st December 2014,i have been okay for the past months,feeling fresh and productive and happy,now things have changed,i am depressed,panick attacks of what if i hurt myself and cant stop,i am a sad soul now,i get so afraid of what if i go mad,what will people say,or what if i lose it at work in front of colleagues or even at the gym,i have good things going on for me,but i cant be happy,i feel like what am i living for,like "and then what". i am planning on going to see a psychiatrist.This story gives me hope,i am going to get rid of this anxiety and depression

George89

To be honest, I find all these stories about being feeling worse for months after strange. It doesn't make sense that if you remove a depressant that is known to cause depression that you would feel more depressed after stopping it!

I suspect people were depressed/had problems that they were covering up with alcohol. People use alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress and depression so when you stop using you are then confronted with those parts of your psyche that you were previously covering up/not consciously aware of.

In my personal experience I have felt better when I stopped drinking alcohol after a few weeks. Also, my reasons for stopping drinking is that I suffer from depression which I believe has a strong relation to my drinking and the problems it causes in my life.

It's a little bewildering to see how many people here are stating that they feel worse after stopping and certainly not encouraging for people who want to become sober but are sitting on the fence. I just don't think that's logical. It's just alcohol numbs your brain and zombifies you, and it's when you stop drinking that you become more in touch with who you are and how damaged you might be.

Dee74

Welcome Fredo - I hope you can find some help with your anxiety - you'll find a lot of support here too

D

Fredo1981

Thank you Dee74

And George,the logic is not "dont stop drinking or you will be depressed",look deeper into what people have written.Also i have found something that gave me hope again...see below ,unfortunately i am not allowed to post links for now

"Quitting alcohol can also lead to long term anxiety from extended withdrawal symptoms, known as protracted withdrawal. This type of anxiety should be controlled with proper coping tips and recommendations from your doctor"

deanmdallman

Very interesting and eye opening to read peoples comments on here!

I was completely unaware (I feel rather silly now) that alcohol could cause depression and anxiety after you had cut down or stopped! All makes perfect sense.

I nearly ended up failing my university degree through drugs and alcohol. I was suicidal at one point and started to feel like this not so long ago, about 3 months after I had cut down on drinking.

I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic and hate labels anyway (I still love a good tear up with my uni friends, I can't lie!) You just have to realise where your priorities are and how to be responsible.

I just didn't understand why I felt like this, I've graduated, have a baby on the way, a girlfriend, and I'm young, fit and healthy, the worlds my oyster!

But if like me you used copious amounts of alcohol to kill boredom and stunt anxiety, once its gone, you suddenly have no method to control it, resulting in a melt down and severe depression. I had no idea how bad anxiety could make you feel physically either.

But as a lot of people on this thread have said, I didn't want to go down the drugs route, and fill my body with more?! To me it didn't make sense.

So I have persevered, and waited for some therapy to teach me how to control my anxiety, which I think is a better option. But everybodys different!

Good to see different opinions, and ones every similar to mine of course!

I know how bad these illnesses can make you feel and effect your train of thought, but the best piece of advice I've heard is that we encounter problems everyday in our life, but a problem unsolved is just a bigger problem, solutions are the way forward. But they don't come overnight, we just have to be patient!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Dean

D

Dropsie

Great post Dean.

Sounds like you are mature beyond your years.

Irishroots

In January 2016 I had some blood tests for a digestive problem and it flagged up a raised GGT (297!). After looking up GGT I had an epiphany - I was drinking too much. Perhaps not vast amounts by others standards but drinking every evening, two maybe three glasses of wine. So I stopped. just like that. easy peasy. or so I thought. follow up blood tests showed GGT back to 60 (within 3 days of stopping). I have been alcohol free for 1 month now. I haven't found it difficult to stop. I think it would have been more difficult to cut down. However, my partner still drinks (3-4 glasses of wine every evening) and the temptation is sometimes there to pour myself a glass. I have asked him to keep the bottle in the kitchen, rather than on the table. I have discovered non-alcoholic lager - tastes exactly the same. However, 2 weeks after quitting, the anxiety, and fogginess started. For about a week and a half I had convinced myself I must have Alzhiemers. Watching Still Alice didn't help! However, I am hoping it may be just that I am without my numbing mechanism. It has helped to read comments on this thread/forum. I feel confused, worried about the future, down in the dumps, indecisive, overwhelmed by tasks that previously were a doddle. I turn 50 next week, and that is causing me anxiety, whereas prior to cutting out alcohol, it did not bother me in the slightest. On a plus side, my IBS is much better, and my libido has improved. I just feel like my delicate equilibrium in having a tough time self regulating. Anyone else having or had the same experience? Many thanks

thatsnotmyname

I am having exactly the same issues as have been described by most posters on this thread. I only registered on this site so I could respond!
Alcohol free for 25 days (woo!) - I've been waiting for the feelings of euphoria to set in but if anything I've felt progressively WORSE mentally/emotionally since quitting. In some ways it confirms that I needed to stop - the booze must have really been messing with me or masking something for me to feel this rubbish now that I'm off it. I had even cut right back since January, so it wasn't like this was a cold turkey stop from daily binging to complete abstinence in one hit.
Feeling lethargic, low energy, NO motivation for work / cleaning the house / cooking etc. I do the bare minimum but I have to drag myself through it almost against my will. Thankfully I've still been managing to get to the gym 4x a week and eating healthily so I don't feel like a complete vegetable, but I hope this general melancholy ends soon. Could it seriously take two years to get back to 'normal'?! God I hope not... I feel like I deserve to feel amazing after making this change in my life and instead I feel decidedly below average... 😥