Paulos

Because I think I've messed up like 8 times now in 3 months lol.

CarolD

Just try again.
Hugs

Surlyredhead

Never quit, quitting!!!!

Rowan

Welcome back.

KJJ

Trying,thinking,reading all my books, doesn't work sitting here alone.

I had my bag packed once again to go to detox. Only one hospital here will take detox . I called what I thought was EMSA, instead 4 police officers were here, and did a ransacking of my apt. Poured out the vodka, asked where the "other drugs" where , and one officer put his hand on my throat,,and pushed me back on my couch. SO I filed a report with internal Affairs, lol , like that will help anything

I keep trying the tapering method and I know some people can do it. Nada for me.

Still trying to quit, KJJ and I know you are too

KJJ

Scared of: mood changes, a big one for me

that really I was just meant to drink the rest of my life
Why Me?
Is it something wrong I've done to God that I can't get "well"
Scared of telling my friends once again "I'm done" don't dome over with any alcohol
Afraid I'll never make it sober, this was my destiny
Also my friends tell me how much happier I am when I"m drinking
Scared of not having a bottle here
Scared of when my youngest son, Brandon, calls and I have to pretend to be sober

And scared I might really be without alcohol and then what?

We're very fortunte to have family, friends and just people that love us in despite of our alcoholism.

I can see some enabling in my family, but when someone you love is shaking really bad, their afraid you will go into a seizure, and I've had 4 I think.

My whole family watched my brother drinking at least a fifth of whatever every day. When he was ready, we were there to take him 1 and a half hour away from Tulsa, snow ice, rain, stayed for 4 months and only relasped once out of 28 years

love in unity KJJ

ay100

Try try try again and never give up the battle. Every sober beginning is a good thing. It is an ongoing process. Just don't give up hope.

Hush007

If at first you don' succeed...

engine1

I'm scared about "starting" again.. Brief history.. 44 y/o now, drinking since 16. 3 DUI's, aprox 15 additional arrests, 8x in the hospital that I can remember and going now through a divorce. I know you probably are not there yet but this disease does not get better without intervention. It simply gets worse. It is slow and insidious. It is also a horrible way to live your life. The good new's is you do not have to drink. That is my choice today.

Tazman53

The insanity of alcoholism had me trying to quit and or moderate for 10 years on my own, it was not until alcohol had beaten me down so badly that I swallowed my pride and accepted the fact that I could not quit my way, I finally went where I swore I would never go.... to AA, they have a solution that worked for me when nothing else did.

My own experience as an alcoholic indicates that I could not quit until I was willing to do anything to get and stay sober, until I reached that point I spent 10 years relapsing and hating my self for not being able to control or stop my drinking on my own.

Do not give up on quitting, but try and learn from your mistakes, if you are trying the same way of quitting over and over again, then maybe, just maybe it is time to try something else.

Nuudawn

Paulo,
This addiction/affliction/spiritual sickness..etc..is one helluva SOB. You can't do it on your own. We have all failed time and time again...please reach out and find a place where you can relate and feel understood. I found that in AA.