maya23

I've been back to a meeting tonight after having some really heavy drinking nights.. I know I have a problem, I just don't GET how to start solving it if you know what I mean. It's really driving me mad. Plus, i can think of occasions in the near future when to be honest I know I'll drink.. so whats the point!?

chrisj728

Hi maya, I went to meetings for months while still drinkng,but eventualy the penny dropped . Keep going back, it will happen for you eventualy.

chris

chrisj728

Maya, You've also got to stop looking to far into the future and concentrate just on the now, if you dont drink just for today and today turns into tommorrow and again you dont drink. then your attitude will change, you will see that you can do without it and what seems like the impossible, will become possible when your released from the ties of alcohol. maya there is a point, but to get free you have to change how you look at things.
Just try it, it worked for this Brummie !

stay strong.

chris

requiredfield

The 1st step says, "We admitted we we powerless over alcohol and that are lives have become unmanageable".

I'm sure you can see what happens as a result of drinking.. (your life becoming unmanagable). But do you understand WHY you are powerless? Why no human will can stop you from the mental obsession that leads you to that first drink?

At first I couldn't answer that question. I truthfully had no idea why I was powerless... and probably because I didn't bother to pick up the big book for while. I knew deep down I couldn't drink in safety..... but I didn't learn why. It's a miracle I didn't drink. But eventually, by my sponsors direction through the big book I came to understand first and foremost, that I can not begin to find a solution when I don't even understand the problem... that being the disease of alcoholism.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm
Dr's Opinion
Chp.1,2,3...
Basically the entire book.

Tazman53

Maya for me it took years to reach a point where I was able to take that step. Why? Because I am an alcoholic and what I do better then anything in the world is drink, I also spent years convincing myself I could not stop drinking but I kept trying to moderate or quit all the while thinking to myself "I can control my drinking, I can drink like a normal person."

Keep going to meetings, call people in the fellowship, read the big book and pray. A guy I heard speak a month or so agao who has not had a drink in over 3 years spent 13 years going to AA meetings, half the time drunk, but he "Kept coming back" and it finally clicked!

What ever you do do not give up, it will come, the miracle will happen if you "Keep coming back".

Raineydae

Just keep coming back and don't have that first drink That's what they've told me and that it's good enough for now, the rest will come later. I have to believe it for now because I'm a total novice at this stuff.
Good luck

chrisj728

Hey rainey, you are not a novice, you like all of us just thought it was the norm we knew no different.But now you,ve seen a way out, you've met people who have been where you are now and are recovering and you want what they have. Thats why your hanging in there, it works if you work it.

chris

CarolD

Welcome back..

You have to want to be sober
more than you want to drink.

maya23

so is it even worth me going to meetings..

chrisj728

maya, the only requirement within AA is a desire to stop drinking, you do have that desire so, Yes keep going!

Carol87

Have you shared your question in a meeting? Are you working with a sponsor? I echo what CarolD said "you have to want to be sober .... " Do you? When you are ready, you will find the answers in the Big Book and the Twelve Steps! It doesn't happen overnight ... my first sponsor always said "it is a process" ...

Keep going to meetings, keep coming here ... and most importantly, pray ,,,

fraankie

...............don't GET how to start solving it
yep
the eternal question
"to drink or not to drink"
well,
go to Aa

it's a start
you can always go back to where you were


best
fraankie

Raineydae

Thanks Chris. Being a novice is not such a bad thing though. I have finally recognized my limitations it means I am listening more.

maya23

I need to stop and i guess what I want is to stop drinking and not care that im not..

CarolD

Hugs...I understand that feeling
and meetings are where I learned
how to make that happen.

Just keep going..Blessings

Hush007

Maya23, there will always be drinking occasions in the future. You can not just wait for that to quit drinking. I've only been sober for a week, and I know that next week I'll have to go to a wedding, and two weeks after that I have a blogmeeting, and after that... . Get it? There will always be plenty of reasons to "drink just one more week". Those special occasions,... look at those as a challenge.

parentrecovers

once my daughter admitted she was alcoholic and made recovery her priority, she was ready to start. she found/finds help and support through rebab, aa, and private counseling. she stays away from bars and drinking situations. she stays BUSY...

you can do it, when you're ready. and you really can help yourself by just thinking one day at a time..

blessings, k

Tazman53

Maya, if you want to stop drinking then you are welcome at AA meetings whether or not you are sober or drunk!

AA meetings will not throw anyone out unless they are making real trouble. Every person in an AA meeting has been right where you are at now.

I was fall down drunk my first meeting and I was welcome with open arms..... but then again I did not go back to another one for about 3 years.

I have seen one guy who showed up to every meeting I saw him at drunk for at least a month, then one day here came this guy grinning from ear to ear to a meeting sober!! If we (AA) did not know how hard it is to stop drinking he may never have come back again.

There are people in those rooms that can save your life and show you how to live a happy life without drinking.

As suggested, keep going back to those meetings, they will work eventually. There are folks at those meetings that know how bad you are hurtiing right now, they know the mental anguish and the frustration. All you have to do is show up at meetings, eventually the right person will say the right thing and you will be on your way.

Kellye C

Hi Maya,

I echo what others have said. If you have a desire, true desire, to stop drinking then by all means continue to go to meetings.

I went to a couple of meetings the last year of my drinking just to get someone off my back. I finally hit pretty much a bottom in July of 2004 and went in ready to listen. I lasted 4 days sober before I drank again. I spent the next 28 days going to meetings, listening, watching and wanting desperately what they had only to go home and drink because I just didn't think it would work for me. I had to have that time to grow the tiniest of hopes that if it could work for them it could work for me. In the meantime I started developing relationships with these people, getting to really know them and feeling part of the group. The shame of continuing to drink and go to meetings coupled with the belief that maybe it could work for me gave me that tiny bit of resolve to bite the bullet and stop. I've been stopped for 2 and a half years now which is a total miracle for me.

If I had quit going to meetings just because I wasn't getting it right away I would be dead now. Keep going hon and keep listening. Listen for the similarities in stories and experiences and take time to get to know the people. If you have a belief in a Higher Power then pray for the "willingness" to quit. It will come if you don't give up.

Hugs,
Kellye

hope3

Hi maya, I say go, go, go, go, go, go I guess ithink you should just do it, go.............Why not, it i'll stick, keep trying, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.....I wonder who (that is now sober) has the world record for relaspses, maybe there is one in the quiness book of world records,,,,because, that person, although drank, stopped, drank, stopped, drank, stopped, can't be considered a failure because they didn't give up...

((((((((maya))))))) hope3