Hush007

Ever since I decided to quit drinking,... my head has been like a merry-go-round. One minute I'm very relaxed, happy and concentrated, the other I am feeling down, feeling tired and almost crying.

Al those feelings can drive you crazy sometimes. Feeling sad because you know you can never have a drink anymore because you are not like "normal people", feeling happy because you finally made the right choice, feeling scared because you are afraid to slip. Crying because it feels like those mixed emotions are driving you crazy. Knowing you should always focus on one day at a time but thinking about the next weekend anyway. Regrets about bad choices in the past (wich you know is a waste of time since the past is,...well...the past). AAAAAAAH!

I had a lousy day today. It was very hectic at the store (a change in franchise,... so new things to learn,... a lot of people telling you what to do, a new computer program that is 10 times more difficult then the program before and so on...). By 9 p.m I really felt like crying cuz I was so tired! And then my boss decided to open a bottle of champagne because we earned it after a hard days work! THE HORROR!

Well,... my day may feel like ****,... but I said no to that drink! I did! So I'm still sad,... but also proud! That was a small rehersal for this weekend. I said no today,... and I will say no next weekend!

By the way,... don't be scared if it takes me until Saturday to check in again. That may happen. Tomorrow I also have to work 13 hours and by the time I get home I'll probably fall asleep on the sofa. Maybe I'll check in during work,... but do not count on it cuz that might just be impossible!

PurpleReign

Hush,
That post was brilliant because I am going through the same thing.

A flurry of emotions from elated to bitter.

Dude, I cried the night before my mid-year review because I thought I was going to lose it all. I laid in bed trying to sleep and started crying - I asked God to help me through it. I really didn't even have much faith in God helping me either, but He did. I even told myself, which got me to sleep, "quit being a p--y and go to sleep you jackhole!"

It's very tough for guys in our position, but I look at guys like Taz, Glass, Golf, Carol (obviously a gal), and concentrate on their victory dance and it helps.

I'm scared to death of relapsing, I really am. It's still a very real possibility for me.

So I'm hip to Socrates, "The only thing I know is that I don't know."

May we find the serenity sooner than later man,
PR

zJoe99

Hush, I'm also going through the same thing. This is day 6 for me. Emotions just seem to be all over the place.

One minute I'm on a cloud and the next minute I'm in the dumps. I'm fortunate that I can attend a meeting anytime I want. Been going everyday. One of the benefits of being unemployed I guess.

I think I'll make two meetings today.

Talluleh

Hush I'm SO proud of you!! I am feeling the same way as you are, up then down, then up then down. Think, you won't wake up on Saturday with a horrible hangover if you keep it up tomorrow.

Thanks for saying you might not be online, I would have wondered.

Astro

What you're all going through is pretty normal, almost every alcoholic has been there and understands.

Every heard the 12 Promises? "Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, they will always materialize if we work for them". It's true, I promise. And there's also that AA slogan of "progress, not perfection.

So keep on keepin' on. You're all doing just fine even though it probably doesn't feel that way.

CarolD

For our newly sober miracle members...
(and YES you are all miracles!)

Tis link may help explain your present situations
link from my files on PAWS...

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

If you do drink again..and many do
just consider it a bump in your recovery road.
Get back on track as quickly as possible.

I found my emotional balace around 3 months sober.

We do recover!

collinsmi

That was how I felt at first too. Things evened out after a while (well at least my perception of things), as long as I kept doing my step work. Eventually I made the connection between the two......

ay100

I haven't had a relapse yet. I am only sober for a moth. I don't expect to relapse but If I do I will not make an issue out of it. I will tell myself relapses do occur on the road to recovery and I am not alone in this and I will get back on the vagon agaian as soon as possible.

Hush007

TYPES OF PAW SYMPTOMS

1. Inability to think clearly (Check)

2. Memory problems (Check,...but a got those during my drinking period too)

3. Emotional overreactions or numbness (Check 50%, no numbness yet)

4. Sleep disturbances (Sleeping good, falling asleep is an issue)

5. Physical coordination problems (No problems yet, maybe little dizzy now & then)

6. Stress sensitivity (Number one with a bullet for me, I feel like being chased a lot of the time)

You nailed it there Carol! And to think I just started. So it will get worse before it gets better huh?

Well sweet people,... time for me to start my working shift. See you this weekend! A really, really big hug to you all!

Keep it sober!

CarolD

I think once you are aware of what is happening...
it gets better quicker.

Best way to know for certain
is to keep moving forward!...

Talluleh

Hush, not sure what time it is there in Belgium, just wanted to pop on and say hello and I am hopeful for you to stay away from the drink today. Did you have a good day? Sounds like you were in for a long shift so just be easy on yourself when you get home.

Hush007

I decided to check in before I go to sleep anyway. Remember that I told you guys I had a really bad day at work yesterday? Today was even worse. I was soooooo stressed out. If anybody would have made a wrong move, I think I would have exploded! Almost everything that could go wrong went wrong. Well, except for the most important thing. No booze whatsoever.

I had the whole "hole in my soul" feeling pretty bad when I got home tonight. Listened to some depressing music after that (yep that's me,... stupid guy). But as time progressed my mood went from below zero to just plain zero (some sort of progress I guess). I worked 63 hours in 5 days this week. Saturday I have to visit an uncle who has been placed in some kinda artificial coma and Sunday I have to visit some friends (he likes beer, and she likes wine). I'll give them the wine and beer that has been sitting in my fridge the whole week (leftovers from last weekend,... when I was still drinking).

Later guys & girls. You all have a great weekend!

Talluleh

Hush, get some sleep, sounds like you need it!! And deserve it!

I'm SO proud of you for not drinking today especially since it was such a bad day. I'm happy to report it's 6:30 here and I'm all tucked in with some DVDs for the night even though my hubby is out in the garage having a few beers. I'm actually not the least bit interested in joining him there.

Sleep tight Hush. Please post tomorrow, I hope you are feeling better.

Hush007

It's 00.36 a.m. over here. I think I'm going to bed as you suggested. Thanks for the nice words! Keep up the good work girl. Have a great weekend!

Sunflower

You should be so proud of yourself-really i mean it--all that stress and you still said no--I am not an alcoholic but it has to be so hard to quit--it is all around us all the time..you don;t notice that until someone you know has this problem,,work is good--keeps you busy-keeps the mind occupied--so you are on an emotiona roller coaster--thats good--let it all out-and get rid of it,,,,,

leviathon

Its just one no at a time... Keep on saying "No". Peace, Levi