sharing in meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: greensboro, nc
Posts: 33
sharing in meetings
Hi guys, it's me again. To start off I would like to say that the jerk that I work with has laid off for some reason. I didn't have to say anything. I started totally ignoring him when he said something negative toward me or just getting up and walking out of the room. I spoke with my supervisor and he said to let him know if it continued and he would take care of it.
My question today is should I be sharing in meetings. I have been sober for about 10 days and I am extremely shy. My dad was in AA for 26 years, I was sober for 16 and he was the only person that I talked to about problems or drinking for 16 years. He's gone now and I just don't know where to begin to talk to people. I get the feeling in meetings that I'm expected to say something even if I don't relate to the topic or if I don't have anthing going on. I know I need to open up to people but it is the most scary thing in the world for me to do. Should I share right now? Or wait for a while.
My question today is should I be sharing in meetings. I have been sober for about 10 days and I am extremely shy. My dad was in AA for 26 years, I was sober for 16 and he was the only person that I talked to about problems or drinking for 16 years. He's gone now and I just don't know where to begin to talk to people. I get the feeling in meetings that I'm expected to say something even if I don't relate to the topic or if I don't have anthing going on. I know I need to open up to people but it is the most scary thing in the world for me to do. Should I share right now? Or wait for a while.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Istanbul
Posts: 124
Start sharing here. It loos much easier here than in Real Life. But If you are really up to it you can share them in your meetings too. Don't be shy just let it all out. You will find so many similarities in other people's stories. All you need to is to take the first step. The rest will be a cake walk.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
lifelong, when you are ready or the need arises you will share, in the mean time if you do not want to share or have nothing to share simply say "Pass" or "I'm just listening today.". I have been doing this for months now, my sponsor told me that I will learn much more by listening right now then I will by sitting there thinking about what I am going to say, he was right.
There will come a time when you are moved to speak, that feeling will be God wanting you to share something that someone else needs to hear, it may not mean a whole lot to you, but it could make a world of difference to some one else.
There will come a time when you are moved to speak, that feeling will be God wanting you to share something that someone else needs to hear, it may not mean a whole lot to you, but it could make a world of difference to some one else.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Lifelong, I am glad you have started going back to meetings.
Maybe the only thing you need to share at a meeting right now is:
"Hi I'm _____________, I'm an alcoholic and I need a sponsor."
That maybe the best thing you can do for you as you continue to attend meetings. Building a connection with a sponsor can help you so much. You may never again have the bond you had with your Dad, but you Can have a similar one with a sponsor you trust, that walks the way they talk.
You have already started practicing sharing by coming here. Congrats on your 10 days!!!!!! That is quite an accomplishment after what you have been through. I know how hard it was for you to go back to meetings.
Take it slow, you will talk and share in meetings when you are ready to talk and share in meetings.
Keep post here and let us know how you are doing, we do care!!!!
Love and hugs,
Maybe the only thing you need to share at a meeting right now is:
"Hi I'm _____________, I'm an alcoholic and I need a sponsor."
That maybe the best thing you can do for you as you continue to attend meetings. Building a connection with a sponsor can help you so much. You may never again have the bond you had with your Dad, but you Can have a similar one with a sponsor you trust, that walks the way they talk.
You have already started practicing sharing by coming here. Congrats on your 10 days!!!!!! That is quite an accomplishment after what you have been through. I know how hard it was for you to go back to meetings.
Take it slow, you will talk and share in meetings when you are ready to talk and share in meetings.
Keep post here and let us know how you are doing, we do care!!!!
Love and hugs,
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Wow! the work situation has improved!
Think prayer helped?
I too suggest...
and see where that goes.
Hugs
Think prayer helped?
I too suggest...
"Hi I'm _____________, I'm an alcoholic and I need a sponsor."
Hugs
dum vita est spes est
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
I'm sorry for your loss.
The "first" meeting I went to awhile back I mentioned I was asked to read some sheet in front of the group. I stumbled and stumbled on pronouncing that damn word anonymity. So, after two or three failed attempts (I was hungover to boot) I just looked up at the group and said, "How do you say that?" Smiles and laughter filled the room and a hoard of pronunciations came flying out of mouths.
So why did they smile and laugh? My guess is because they had a feeling I was new and wanted to be supportive. They saw themselves at their first meeting again, struggling a bit and thankful to see where they are now. They also smiled and laughed, most likely, because it was a thrill to help.
That last part is what you have to keep in mind. An "old timer" in that group began to weep and say, "I'm so damn glad I'm an alcoholic, because if I weren't I never would have met any of you." Talk about trying to hold back the tears on that one. I thank my newness for keeping me too proud to shed a tear at my first AA meeting.
My long winded point, is this - they are their for themselves as much as they are for you...which means both
1. You won't be judged because they are in your shoes.
2. You will be helped you are in their shoes.
I still haven't "opened" up to the level that you would have with your father at a meeting, but you don't have to open up to feel better - if you choose to, I'm sure it will just be icing on the cake.
My first meeting had plenty of wet eyes from various topics and get this, not one tear was from a female despite it was mixed gender. Meetings are pretty powerful if you are there for the right reasons.
PR
The "first" meeting I went to awhile back I mentioned I was asked to read some sheet in front of the group. I stumbled and stumbled on pronouncing that damn word anonymity. So, after two or three failed attempts (I was hungover to boot) I just looked up at the group and said, "How do you say that?" Smiles and laughter filled the room and a hoard of pronunciations came flying out of mouths.
So why did they smile and laugh? My guess is because they had a feeling I was new and wanted to be supportive. They saw themselves at their first meeting again, struggling a bit and thankful to see where they are now. They also smiled and laughed, most likely, because it was a thrill to help.
That last part is what you have to keep in mind. An "old timer" in that group began to weep and say, "I'm so damn glad I'm an alcoholic, because if I weren't I never would have met any of you." Talk about trying to hold back the tears on that one. I thank my newness for keeping me too proud to shed a tear at my first AA meeting.
My long winded point, is this - they are their for themselves as much as they are for you...which means both
1. You won't be judged because they are in your shoes.
2. You will be helped you are in their shoes.
I still haven't "opened" up to the level that you would have with your father at a meeting, but you don't have to open up to feel better - if you choose to, I'm sure it will just be icing on the cake.
My first meeting had plenty of wet eyes from various topics and get this, not one tear was from a female despite it was mixed gender. Meetings are pretty powerful if you are there for the right reasons.
PR
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Anna (like the Ladies name) - Nimmity. 
I've got just over 4 months, and I still share very infrequently. I'm not the most eloquent speaker in the world. However, when I do share, I notice a lot of approving nods & smiles, and others will reference my share.
Taz said it. It's not about looking or sounding good, it's saying something that can benefit someone else. I really believe God speaks to us through others shares.
I've got just over 4 months, and I still share very infrequently. I'm not the most eloquent speaker in the world. However, when I do share, I notice a lot of approving nods & smiles, and others will reference my share.
Taz said it. It's not about looking or sounding good, it's saying something that can benefit someone else. I really believe God speaks to us through others shares.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by lifelong936 
Hi guys, it's me again. To start off I would like to say that the jerk that I work with has laid off for some reason. I didn't have to say anything. I started totally ignoring him when he said something negative toward me or just getting up and walking out of the room. I spoke with my supervisor and he said to let him know if it continued and he would take care of it.
My question today is should I be sharing in meetings. I have been sober for about 10 days and I am extremely shy. My dad was in AA for 26 years, I was sober for 16 and he was the only person that I talked to about problems or drinking for 16 years. He's gone now and I just don't know where to begin to talk to people. I get the feeling in meetings that I'm expected to say something even if I don't relate to the topic or if I don't have anthing going on. I know I need to open up to people but it is the most scary thing in the world for me to do. Should I share right now? Or wait for a while.
My question today is should I be sharing in meetings. I have been sober for about 10 days and I am extremely shy. My dad was in AA for 26 years, I was sober for 16 and he was the only person that I talked to about problems or drinking for 16 years. He's gone now and I just don't know where to begin to talk to people. I get the feeling in meetings that I'm expected to say something even if I don't relate to the topic or if I don't have anthing going on. I know I need to open up to people but it is the most scary thing in the world for me to do. Should I share right now? Or wait for a while.
Do you have a sponsor???
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
I am just about as shy and socially dysfunctional as they come. And it was a big deal for me to share at first in AA. A lot of it came down to people pleasing, and wanting to fit in too much. Its perfectaly OK to not share if you dont care to. Just keep coming back, take in the knowledge and support you get at the tables.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hi Lifelong -
there's nothing wrong with holding your own space until you're ready. Don't let anyone push you into doing something you're not ready to do. Shy or not, there'll come a time when you'll be 'moved' to say something. You'll see.
Everythng is exactly the way it should be, and the more mature members already know that.
It's not about your ability to speak in public, it's about your ability to remain sober, and find a new direction for your life in sobriety.
Thanks for the provocative post!
there's nothing wrong with holding your own space until you're ready. Don't let anyone push you into doing something you're not ready to do. Shy or not, there'll come a time when you'll be 'moved' to say something. You'll see.
Everythng is exactly the way it should be, and the more mature members already know that.
It's not about your ability to speak in public, it's about your ability to remain sober, and find a new direction for your life in sobriety.
Thanks for the provocative post!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Excellent question earlybird, lifelong I know this is a tough one for you right now, but a sponsor makes a world of difference.
A sponsor will introduce you around. That way, you dont have to be the one who just goes up to people and says "Hi". I felt the same way you do. I got myself a sponsor and the flood gates opened. It works.
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