losteverything

thanks for all your help, everyone...
Day two is done now......i have tremours, my sleep was sweat ridden(ewww, i know how gross that seems, and is) and my thought process isn't so very quick right now...otherwise, my appetite is pretty good....I dont think my cat appreciates me right now too much, she has never been yelled at so much in her life... I am on midnight shift, and in the morning, will try to sleep most of the day.....my next meeting will be tomorrow night, and there is no way on Earth that i am going to miss it....that little voice inside me is nagging, deceiving me already saying, hey, you dont have the kids tomorrrow night, why not sit down for a nice glass of whiskey, you worked your cycle, you deserve it....that is why i know i absolutely need to get to a meeting tomorrow night....i predict my tremours will escalate to full blown shakes....but thats alright....been doing so serious soul searching, and have come to realize that every single problem i have today can be directly attributed to my addictions. That to me means, that quitting my addictions certainly wont make these problems any better, but it also wont make them any worse....I am putting down my shovel.......

nanita

Please do hang in there and go to that meeting. I'm attending my first meeting on Wednesday. Remember what the shakes and sweats are like - be careful and call your doctor if it gets scary. Good luck!

gettingbetter

You sound strong even though you are in great pain. Have you gotten any numbers in your meetings from people you would feel comfortable in calling. Coming here is good, please keep posting. Don't be afraid to seek medical help. I drove my brother to the hospital after he handed me his just opened bottle and said "i'm done. He was so sick for two weeks, He probally wouldn't have made it without professional care. Don't be pigheaded or proud. You are very sick and it's ok to seek medical help. God be with you.

losteverything

i have read alot about what to expect...i know tomorrow, day 3, will be very hard...when i know what to expect, i wont feel quite as bad going through what i have to go through.....its thanks to this place that i have come to understand how much of a grip alcohol has had on my mind, body and soul......if it gets to physically challenging, my withdrawal, of course i will shake my way into a hospital, but right now, i can handle what i am going through....just wish the voices inside, urging me, deceiving me, and encouraging me to drink would finally shut up...this time, I am not going to succumb....at least, not today........funny, i finally understand what that one day at a time really means.....it means, tomorrow i cant worry about, yesterday i cant do anything about, all i can do is what i do today......and just for today, i wont drink......Hey, all this AA stuff really has a point, doesn't it?

stone

Nothing to add to the advice already given Lost, but I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and wish all the strength in the world.

Kellye C

Lost, I detoxed at home 2.5 years ago and remember exactly how it felt. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I am going to tell you how I got through that insane voice that kept telling me that all would be ok if I just took a drink.

I told myself that if I did that I would be back at square one and would have to go through all the hell I'd been through for nothing. Then I kept telling myself that if I could just make it through I didn't ever have to do it again if I didn't choose to. So far, I have yet to encounter anything so good or so bad that drinking wouldn't make 10 times worse.

Hang in there, this too shall pass. I know that just sounds like someone slinging AA jargon at you but it is true.

Big steady hugs to you,
Kellye

gettingbetter

My withdrawal from crack is nothing compared to what alcoholics go through. To home detox is quite brave. I admire the courage of all of you who had done this. I visited my brother everyday in the hospital and man was he sick. He's been clean for 2 years now, but refuses to deal with the shame and guilt, he's not a happy person. Glad to see people working a program. heal the mind and the body.

GlassPrisoner

Hang in there. I feel for 'ya.

Home de-tox was the single most frightening experience I've ever been through.

Good news though. It gets better.

Tazman53

Lost man trust me, now that you have quit digging that hole you will be amazed at how great it feels to be out of it!!! The withdrawals are hell and I do pray that if things get real bad you will call the hospital.

You have already been to an AA meeting, if you have even a single number call it and let them know what is up with you, ask them to give you a ride to a meeting, or just to sit with you. One of the most important ways to stay sober is to help other alcoholics, if you make the call you will be helping some one else stay sober.

Lost I just finished saying a prayer for you, this will get better brother, hang in there, being reborn into a new and beautiful life is similar to your original birth, it is not without pain, but it will all be worth it.