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Old 02-11-2007, 01:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Frustrated... alcoholic hallucinosis?


I came by here recently, then left. And I am evidently back...

I saw my psychiatrist the other day and I *have* to give up alcohol. Well, I don't HAVE to, no one HAS to... no one can force me unless they just lock me in a room. But you know what I mean.

He said I might have alcoholic hallucinosis... so I have to give up to see if it is the drink that is causing my mental issues. Plus, he said I must be killing my liver.

If I don't comply, I doubt I'll ever be able to drive again. I've already been car-less for a year now. And you'd think that'd be enough motivation to get me to stop... but you know what I'm honestly considering choosing the alcohol over my car and my health.

But I have to stop... and apparently some kind of alcohol intervention help place is going to contact me within the next 2 weeks... I'm kinda scared because I simply cannot imagine a life without alcohol... they are going to take alcohol from me, and give me nothing in its place. All the doctors have flat out said they do not know what is wrong with me and even my therapist said he wasn't capable of giving me the "intensity" of psychotherapy that I need and he is basically just acting as a kinda regular point of contact between me and the docs, checking up on me, because (quote) "everyone else just seems to be sitting back waiting for something to happen". And, I haven't even told him about the thing that possibly gets to me the most in life The docs call me a 'mystery' and 'interesting' and poke and prod me, and a year on they still have no idea what is wrong.

Maybe it is down to the alcohol, I guess this is the first really constructive thing they have suggested!!!

So... has anyone else had this alcoholic hallucinosis thing?
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hello Pawprints & welcome back,
I have no knowledge of your condition but somebody on this board will offer there advice to you im sure.As a recovering alcoholic I can tell you that after removing drink from my life, my mental health soon recovered from the traumers of this addiction.
All the best chris
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pawprints View Post
Plus, he said I must be killing my liver.

but you know what I'm honestly considering choosing the alcohol over my car and my health.

I'm kinda scared because I simply cannot imagine a life without alcohol... Maybe it is down to the alcohol, I guess this is the first really constructive thing they have suggested!!!

So... has anyone else had this alcoholic hallucinosis thing?

Hey Paw,

Welcome back! I've not heard of alcoholic hallucinosis but I'm sure it exists if the docs are talking about it. There may be others on this board that can give you a hand with that.

No one on this board can diagnose yoou as an alcoholic. However, there are many suggestions in the Big Book of AA as to how to diagnose yourself. It might be a good idea to pick one up. Spend some time reading it to see if you identify with what's being said. There are a few key things that you've said that lead me to believe you might have a problem.

First, your doc warned you that you may be suffering liver damage. A temperate or normal drinker usually doesn't have this kind of problem. Second, ask yourself if any sane person would chose drinking over being able to drive or live a healthy life. Not many people I know would make that choice. Third, you can imagine life without alcohol. I couldn't either...it was my friend, the only thing I could turn to in order to forget the problems of my life. You said the docs were going to take away the alcohol and not replace it with anything. If you're an alcoholic, taking away the drink is going to leave one heck of a large hole in your gut...figuratively, not physically.

Years ago, a doctor said "Men and women drink essentially for the sense of ease and comfort that comes with the first drink." When I was in my first AA meeting contemplating my life without alcohol, I wondered where I would get that sense of ease and comfort. The answer, I've come to find, is that I found a replacement in AA. I won't get into detail, but suffice it to say that millions of people around the world have found a sense of ease and comfort that transcends that of any feeling they got from drinking.

I hope you will pick up a Big Book and read a little. Start with "The Doctor's Opinion." The next four chapters after that will give you a good idea in a general way of what life is like for an alcoholic. You will also read about those ways you can diagnose yourself. You may read something that doesn't exactly apply to you. Please don't dismiss it out of hand. Alcoholics come is all shapes and sizes. I may not have done what another alcoholic has done or felt the way a certain alcoholic felt, but there are enough similarities between us that to convince me that I'm one of them.

Most of all, be honest with yourself. Reading this book alone gives you an opportunity to say, "I'm not like that". So again, honesty is the key. If you find that you identify with much that is written, then alcohol may be your problem. And by the way, left untreated, alcoholism never gets better, it only gets worse. Good luck, may you be blessed with honesty
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Old 02-11-2007, 02:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Pawprints,

Evidently you are back and we're happy to see you.

From what I just read what you're describing are auditory hallucinations brought on by too much drinking. That's very serious.

I imagine the reason it seems that the doctors are simply shrugging their shoulders is because the solution is in your hands, not theirs. There is no medicine, operation, or therapy that they can give you that will cure you.

You are not chosing between driving and drinking. You are chosing between dying and drinking. I hope you will find a way to get through this to the other side and save yourself. You are worth saving!

Good luck

PS I think you really want to live or you wouldn't have posted here.
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Old 02-11-2007, 02:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Apparently this alcoholic hallucinosis condition occurs in heavy drinkers, and it is pretty rare as far as I can work out. He said there isn't much research into it at the moment. I'm a bit unsure about how likely it is that I have this, I'm only 19 afterall. It could be something else BUT they need to make sure the drink isn't causing everything.

I'll check out that chapter, thanks.
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Old 02-11-2007, 02:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Brooke8433,

I hope you're feeling better about yourself. You've just done something that many alcoholics take quite a while to accomplish. You've tried to help another alcoholic. Not once in your last post did you talk about how bad things are for you. That's progress!!! You may be coming closer than you think to getting some real help for your drinking problem. God is smiling because He's seen one of his children offer a helping hand to one who is suffering. Keep up the good work.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
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hi pawprints..

let me assure you there IS life after alcohol although at only 19 you might not think so.

why not just do a 3 month trial without any alcohol and see if your hallucinosis clears up ?

from what i can gather from your posts you have nothing to lose and all to gain and.. if at the end of your 3 month trial you dont feel any better then all the bars/alcohol will still be waiting for you.

mp
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Old 02-11-2007, 04:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome back!

How fortunate you are...a wonderful healthy
future can be yours!

Stay the course and win!

Blessings Paw
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Old 02-11-2007, 05:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I have witnessed the hallucinations related to alcohol withdrawal.
My AH had a withdrawal seizure and 2 days later while we were still in the hospital - he whispered to me - "did you hear that, they're blaming us for the cows" Although we live in the middle of the US - we have never been involved in the cattle industry.
Then he was trying to leave and the nurse was encouraging him not too -and we tried to explain that insurance wouldn't pay if he left, so he's yelling for me to just pay the $20 and let's go.
Then he left the hospital, security started looking for him. We called his cell phone and someone asked him where he was - he said he was outside the church near our home town waiting for me. He was actually outside the hospital 3 hours from home.
After he was in ICU after that for a week - he still said to 'stay away from that church - they're evil!'
I have no doubt that hallucinations can happen with changes in alcohol level.

You came here - that's a very good start. Don't dismiss what the Drs are saying - (my AH always did). The Drs were right - but my AH didn't want to hear it. Please open your ears and listen. My AH has gotten into more problems- living his life alone (without wife & 3kids) I filed for divorce, OWI, public intox, not able to hold down a job. And the Drs also told me, he was too young for this to be happening, but alcohol ages you.
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Old 02-13-2007, 05:52 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I've never had auditory hallucinations, but something weird happens to me when I'm having withdrawls. If I close my eyes, (try it, you'll see remainders of light from what you've been looking at), the 'static' looking light and black form weird images. It's scary as hell some of the things I see (people, monsters, babies, etc). I never feel like I'm going crazy, it's just got me so confused as to how that could ever happen.

Funny thing is, my friend (who's been drinking around the same amounts for just as long) has experienced the same thing.
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Old 02-13-2007, 09:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
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but something weird happens to me when I'm having withdrawls.
Yep it's called DT's. Mine were space aliens and creatures, God it was awful. Some people get 'things' crawling on them.

Koruptdata you may be only 19 but obviously you have a problem with alcohol.

Yes there is life without drinking. As a matter of fact a GREAT LIFE without drinking.

I personally used AA to learn how to live sober. Check around this site. There are lots of good suggestions.

I do however recommend that you try and get some sober people in your life that you can grow and change with.

Welcome to SR. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,
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Old 02-13-2007, 12:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I experienced visual and auditory hallucinations during withdraw. I used to "trip" in my 20s (Acid, 'shrooms) so the experience was not that scary for me, I knew what was happening.

The other symptoms, though, well......I wished I were dead more than once.

19 and liver problems ? Wow ! Yeah, I'd suggest you quit.

In my experience, my mental health became way better after abstinence. I've heard and read manytimes doctors confuse mental dis-orders with alcoholism.
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Old 02-13-2007, 02:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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hallucinosis (F1x.52.)* A disorder consisting of persistent or recurrent hallucinations, usually visual or auditory, that occur in clear consciousness and that the individual may or may not recognize as unreal. Delusional elabaration of the hallucinations may occur, but delusions do not dominate the clinical picture.See also: psychotic disorder, alcohol- or drug-induced
There is a definition I found but I have not experienced it drinking or withdrawing thank God!

Life or death, that is what it boils down to.... drink and die... stop drinking and live!

I can tell you one thing that I can assure you of, no matter what your problem is, quitting drinking is sure not going to make it worse and odds are that it will make it a lot better!

After 40 years of drinking I figured out that being sober thanks to AA has made me happier then I have been in over thirty years.

19 is not to young to die from alcoholism and or alcoholic poisoning.
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Old 02-13-2007, 03:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It could be he is trying to scare you into stopping drinking? I don't know but I have trouble putting faith in doctors etc. Anyway I am not giving medical advice but do you hear voices when you drink or when you quit for a few days? I visually hallucinate when I try to quit maybe you auditory hallucinate?
Doctors aren't gods but to quote you

'Maybe it is down to the alcohol, I guess this is the first really constructive thing they have suggested!!!'

I would say that is a real big possibilty.

I used to do acid and mushrooms and the visual hallucinations don't scare me (the withdrawal visuals)but I had a breakdown a few years ago and 'heard' the TV and radio talk to me and that was more scary than the DT's by far.
Perhaps ask to be referred to another psch? There are good and bad ones you know.
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Old 02-14-2007, 02:23 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Dear Pawprints,

I dont have experience myself with alcohol hallucinosis, but it must be very difficult for you to live with these questions unanswered.

If the way to get a handle on your condition is to stop drinking for a period of time, please do that for yourself.

Remain open and tuned in to the changes you go through, and make more decisions as you are getting clearer.

Do you think you can do that? Quit alcohol for say, 90 days? You have my support.

Take good care,

MC
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Old 02-14-2007, 05:52 AM   #16 (permalink)
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The hallucinations aren't just sounds... and it's not just when I give up at all. They come and go in "phases" every few months or so... and will last anywhere from 1 week to 1 month or more. I just start hearing and seeing stuff that isn't there, and I have these 'urges' to hurt people and so many things. Last time I thought demons were trying to persecute me and I stopped eating and was sleeping on the floor, and sitting up for hours writing about my "theory" of God, life, etc. And, in the end, I was going to kill myself for spiritual reasons. The 'phase' ended just in time. I know that sounds stupid and insane BUT at the time it all made perfect sense. Argh I can't take it, I don't want it to happen again.

I think my symptoms go beyond this hallucinosis thing... cos they are just hearing sounds etc really. I don't know... I will have to decide what is worse to me. Do I quit the drink and MAYBE stopped going crazy or shall I keep my alcohol and have the hallucination phases etc. The drink itself kind of dulls all the fear and anxiety I have about when my next 'crazy phase' is going to come. I get so scared sometimes

I guess its a chicken and egg thing. I don't know what came first really, did the drink cause hallucinations or did the hallucinations lead me to drink to cope with the stress? I think it is the 2nd option, because I remember a couple from when I was really young.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:48 AM   #17 (permalink)
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pawprints,

maybe there are other options and treatments than what you now are aware of. Yours sounds like a condition of multiple diagnosis', which being clear of alcohol will only help.

You mentioned anxiety and that you self-medicate with alcohol. Right there is a good awareness to pay attention to. If you find some good support and medical help, you never have to drink or feel this way again. I used to suffer from fears, anxiety and depression while drinking was part of my life.

Fear and anxiety has left me. It requires the courage to change, and the help of others to keep us going when we lose the will to live and stay the course though.

We are here to support you always. So are your practitioners.

Take the best care of yourself and dont drink for today~

love,
mc
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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i've been there......

i have experienced this. Just recently i decided to make a serious effort to refrain from drinking. My drinking had gotten progressively worse after a few too many bad events in my life. The cravings can be unbearable as I'm sure you know. I usually only make it a day or two before i just cant stand it. Even though the cravings can be completely unbearable, i managed to push through it, then after about 3 days cold turkey sober.........i start waking up in the middle of the night "seeing things"
The first time it was so weird, i woke up all of the sudden and saw a swarm of "crab-like" creatures on the wall coming toward me. It was weird though cuz i wasn't scared, i was aware it was not real, i was just like "that's stupid". However, after i went back to sleep, it happened like 2 or 3 more times that night. Even though i knew it wasn't real, it freaked me out that it kept happening. This has happened to me two other times so far. The next time my ceiling looked like sea anemone, just swaying back and forth, and where my light was it looked like something was trying to push through my ceiling(to get me i guess?) and i'd shut my eyes and be like, its not real. Then the last time it was my ceiling again, with stalactite looking things coming down with dragon heads at the bottom, reaching toward me.now i have some pretty severe anxiety about experiencing that again which is really not helping me in my efforts to be sober.......
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Old 04-02-2011, 07:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
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this thread sounds more like alcohol-related psychosis. i wonder what ever happend to the original poster?
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Old 04-02-2011, 08:20 AM   #20 (permalink)
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complicate...Welcome to SR....

From what you described...I certainly hope you are checking
with your doctor
That is really the wisest thing for you to do..

The member Pawprints has not been to our site for 4 years,
We all hope he is doing well.
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