Paulos

I'm hurtin' I'll tell you that all right now, the urge is quite powerful, everyday it seems to get a bit worse... irritability, fears/etc... just ... don't know what to do really, this is been like 14 days, not of hell but of toughness... ho boy, I hope I'm not close to failing.

wozzek

The question might be, what is going on with your life right now. Maybe you should cope with those issues, no matter what they are, instead of obsessing over a drink. 14 days is a GREAT sucess, it should get better and easier...

Good luck!!

Paulos

Well, I'd love to, except one little problem... I just failed. 14 DAYS DOWN THE GOD DAMN DRAIN, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

nanita

Don't give up. I'm on my third try at sobriety since July of 2006. It has gotten easier (and more important to me) each time. Tomorrow's a new day - go for it!

LetStartOver

What good is a record if you can't try to beat it? So next we try 15. We ALL give in. But, tomorrow starts over. You didn't fail you are just starting a new streak. A longer one. One out of fourteen ain't bad. Let's go even longer!

LetStartOver

Even if you started doesn't mean you can't stop tonight! Put the cap back on. Look in the mirror and say, "I know so many ways to make you better and the only way I can think of to hurt you is to drink. The bottle is closed, the body starts to heal.". This is the hard part. Don't open the bottle and put it against your lips. Sounds easy right? We both know it isn't, but it can be done. If you do decide to reopen the bottle then walk over to the sink and pour it down the drain. I've woken up many times victorious after doing this. You drank but that doesn't mean that's all you're going to do from now on. Pour it out and giggle and watch something that makes you laugh. Do something else. You can still wake up sober! POUR THE ALCOHOL DOWN THE DAMN DRAIN AND GIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGLE AT YOUR FREEDOM! You'll sober up, I promise.

LetStartOver

Keep posting! You know the consequences of drinking but did you remember the rewards of quitting? Rooting for you!

stone

It isn't down the drain, just start again and do it day by day. Take it easy on yourself

ay100

It isn't down the drain. Relapses are common on the way to recovery. You'll start from day one again and work for it. I don't understand how for some people the craving gets worse as the period of sobreity increases? For me I become much better everyday and and almost got obver my mental obsession of alcohol. In the past I was thinking about drinking beers all the time. Nowadays I don't even think of beers.

different for everybody.

Good luck and please don't give up. Keep posting here.

Paulos

How the heck can I recover when I drank two nights ago? I am still failing, even though it's been 2 days without drinking, that's an improvement and all but damn I guess I just want to be completely clear... my mind is still messed up as hell, I make quite some typos and communication errors, blah... o_O

wozzek

It is suffering what you're going through. After I relapsed recently I had two, then five and two, three days of sobriety again. Of course, those days were not "sobriety" it was the time of remorse, shame, sort of recovery before I drank again.

What makes it worse during such pain is that sense of powerlessness. I spent 20 years, sitting drunk in a car and crying while listening a radio show on, guess what, our illness or trying to quit, or manipulating myself etc., like so many others.

The question is why we want to stop??? In my case I honestly believe the life is fantastic, the nature is what we, enslaved by micro screen technology, need to enjoy our day, I believe there are things I can create and that there still might be some happiness for me, even love.

Nothing, but nothing I would have in my life if I were to drink. Alcohol is often the only thing we have in our lives, our walking cane that goes in the (early) grave with us and we are afraid of choices. So now, this moment, I am baby sitting for my friends. They are out in the City, having fun and drinking and I am an ally of their fantastic kid (allay because he was supposed to be in the bed already but we are watching Captain Nemo instead) and am enjoying my time.

What I am missing by not having a drink? Nothing but the drink itself. I do suffer also, I do want the drink so many times, I did relapse and I am afraid I might again, but every day I am not drunk I try to do something for that me I would like to discover, a sober, happy me.

Good luck and don’t give up on yourself. There is much more in you than the shame….

CarolD

I had many false starts before I quit
drinking

Each time I left AA...I stayed out less time
and came back quicker.

Eventually the recovery time has accumalated.

I do hope you continue to work on a healthy life

mike_mass

Paulos,

I would try getting to an AA meeting. You will likely find a group of compassionate people there who will encourage you as you struggle.

brians

I had to start over many many times with AA. Keep going, if you do not get it, it will get you. Simple program. Don't drink and go to meetings.