jacknscoob

Hi Guys n Gals

My husband and I both are heavy drinkers. It is not a problem to us as we both enjoy it and thats what we do. We dont row and have a very loving relationship.

But I have been noticing my increasing withdrawal symptoms each day, and I crave a drink each morning. Also, I dont want to meet anyone socially as I am either shaking with DTs or have had a drink and smell of it, so avoid meeting friends etc.

My husband and I are both as bad as each other. I think the withdrawals effect me more than him. It is socially acceptable to eachother for us to drink, we are lucky enough not to be working at the moment, so not many responsibilities, no kids etc. So makes our debortuous behaviour even easier.

It has got to the stage now that only after a few drinks (mainly wine) I feel normal & the shakes stop. When we get drunk we are not loud, silly or anything, just like normal people. I worry what we are doing to our bodies as we both have had a long history of over drinking. My husband also has high blood pressure even thouh he is not over-weight.

Has anyone else been in this situation. I can't imagine my life without alcohol cos thats all Iv been bought up with and thats all I know.

Also, alcohol gives me the confidence that I feel I lack, so makes it even harder. We did have a 3 week period of not drinking, but after that things got back to normal. I think the problem is that we both enjoy drinking so enjoy it together, but I know it is a slippery slope, which i believe we are on.

Sorry for the off-load everyone, but I gotta start some where. Thanks for reading this post.

Jacknscoob

WantsOut

I don't have much to offer I just wanted you to know I read you message and I understand.

My first thought is that maybe you and your husband would do well to go to a GP and get your livers tested. You probably have elevated enzymes and hearing that from your doc might be helpful for your resolve to change. Also maybe he'll have some suggestions for you as far as nutrition, perhaps something to help you sleep ... just a thought.

Good luck

Nuudawn

You describe my last relationship to some extent. My ex was the best party bud I ever had...we had an absolute scream together drinking. BUT I could not escape the ever present niggling that we were "not real"...we were playing house and playing at love. Also, it got to a point where I was never truly satiated..there simply was not enough booze, sex, etc to fill the ever increasing hole I felt within me. We split when we hit a bump in the road that scared the beejeezus outta both us..and we both went screaming the other way.. I went to AA. I wanted to be "real"...and truth be told, I truly hoped he wanted to be "real" with me. He does not....that of course, is breaking my heart all over again.

I don't know quite what to tell you as your only concern appears to be for your health (which is indeed serious enough)...but for me, sobriety has a lot more to do with my heart and soul...health benefits are simply an added bonus.

jacknscoob

Hi Whatsout

Thanks for your kind words. We gotta start somewhere. Doctors would prob bring us up to gear. Make us realise what we are doing to ourselves.

So easy to leave it all and carry on as we are.

Hope you are doing well.

Take care

Jacknscoob

nanita

I was pretty much at the same place you are, except my husband's not a drinker. He'd have a couple beers on the weekend and that's it. I craved a drink first thing in the morning and had to drink to keep the shakes away. When we had company, I had to keep a stash hidden to mix with whatever wouldn't be noticeable - otherwise, I'd shake so bad that I couldn't even fix a meal.

Finally got scared enough to go to the doctor. As WantsOut said, my liver enzymes were elevated the first time I went. The 2nd time, they were three times as high as the first. Not to mention I'd gained 34 pounds from all the drinking. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol - I didn't want to quit for even a minute. I wanted to be healthy, skinny, and drink all I want whenever I wanted. Can't be done! When I told my husband I was an alcoholic and needed help (believe it or not, he was surprised) he said, "Why don't you just get mad at alcohol and what it's done to you and then you won't want a drink anymore." I told him, "How can I get mad at something I love so much?"

Since then, I'm on my third try at being sober - I'm on day 18 now. I never would've believed it, but I CAN live without alcohol. I feel better than I've felt in years, my liver is back to normal, I've lost 10 pounds so far, I can go out in social situations and not have to worry about what people think of me, I'm vibrant and alive everyday instead of being tired all the time from too much alcohol,etc.etc. etc.

Give it a try - you'll love the difference in your life!!!!

jacknscoob

Hi Nuudawn

Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear about your time. I hope it all works out.

I gotta say our relationship is rock solid and i feel no hole, just big love, we get on like best mates.

I am worried that our drinking is becoming the norm, rather than a special occasion. It has escalated gradually over time and now I am feeling the physical additction that scares me. Someone mentioned that valium can help u get off of it. Once i get through the hangover / detox time I can manage and we are great together also. We go to the gym, sleep better etc. It is just getting through that craving stage, which lasts a couple of days.

It is a shame u cant sleep for two days then wake up feeling better, doh!

THanks for chatting.

Jacknscoob x

gypsytears

You have all the excuses laid out in the opening post. Do you want to stop drinking?

jacknscoob

Nanita

Thanks for your reply. Very inspiring. Glad to know there is someone else out there like me. Yes Iv put on weight too. Makes u feel inside even worse.

Yes for me social situations are always the worse, as iv always used alcohol to get through them some way or how. Yes I too have stashed stuffed away to cope in secret.

Glad things are working out for you, keep it up!!

Thanks for your input.

Jacknscoob x

bye_bye_vodka

Jacksnscoob,

I read your first post and it reminded me of what I had went through. This definitely will be a change for the both of you. It sounds like you are heading towards a bad situation yourself. This does need to be addressed but won't work unless you and your husband both take it seriously.
I drank every night for 20 yrs, and started hiding vodka from my wife. I had the shakes so bad too, where I was embarassed to even have lunch with a client. ( Aweek before going into detox, I had to pretend I wasn't hungry, and ask for my lunch to go, even though I was starving).
My thoughts are that you both realize that this is becomming a problem and schedule a time to go into detox together. You can support each other. When I went into detox, they gave me librium to keep my blood pressure in check. Detox, for me, was suprisingly simple. Which is saying alot!! I was bad. I strongly suggest this for your husband since he currently has blood pressure issues. Going through withdrawls from alcohol can be deadly if it is not taken care of properly!!
After my detox I was subscribed a drug called Camprel. This has helped me with the cravings I have for alcohol tremendously. Though it is not a miracle drug, I feel it has helped me get through each day, without sometimes even thinking about it.
I also have been going to the gym and have lost about 9 lbs since Jan 15th. This is the first day of my sobriety. I feel much better and healthier.
You both are going through this together and should be able to work out of this together. It sounds like you both get along great and should be able to support one another throught the good and the bad.
Believe me, alcohol was once my best friends too, but it turned on me. I can't ever go back to my old times, because my old friend will kill me. I've gone to far to turn back!
Keep us posted on this, and I wish you both the best of luck on your new future together. You both can do it!

kats

Jacknscoob --

Your story almost exactly mirrors my own -- except for the fact that my hubby and I have one kid and my hubby is working. We've been married almost twenty years and have drank together, quite happily, for the majority of that time. In the past 12 or 13 years we have escalated our drinking, but other than health issues (my high blood pressure and elevated liver enzymes, his acid reflux and other gastrointestinal difficulties), we have had little to show as consequences for our lifestyle. We simply enjoy it. Period. I don't get the shakes or crave alcohol in the morning -- nor does he. But like you, it is the fear for my health that finally got me to admit that it was time to change. I hate living in fear and have realized that I've been doing it everyday.

It's hard, though, because when you read the awful stories that other alcoholics tell and you think to yourself, "but my life's not like that... everything's good in it... so why should I stop?" That kind of thinking is *so* dangerous because at some point, we all have to pay the piper, and our bill may be different from the next person's, but it will eventually come due. So much better to pay it before it accrues interest and penalties -- know what I mean?

Day four for me and I feel great. Had a wonderful night's sleep and woke up really refreshed. First night was tough, second easier, and last night was a piece of cake.

Good luck.

Kats

jacknscoob

Thanks for all the replies... I am a newby on this forum and am staggererd at the great support.

So if we both decided to detox, should we see the doc together to get any drugs to help. We arnt as bad as we sound as we still get out and about / drive etc (wen not drinking). No one has any idea about the amount we drink, its now become normal to us.

I am just worried we are at the early stages I believe & worried about our health. Well I am with my whole body tremors & anxiety. My husband can deal with it alot easier. Maybe cos I am a woman, smaller etc.

Can you buy drugs such as Camprel or do they have to be subscribed by a doctor?

Thanks guys

Jacknscoob x

bye_bye_vodka

Campral, has to prescribed by a doctor and you have to make it past the initial withdrawl (detox) process.

I for along time enjoyed my drinking, as well. For whatever reason, it blew up on me. No rhyme or reason.It put me in a strangle hold and I couldn't escape. You are doing the right thing.

Also, you both have to want this to happen. If he slips down the road or vise versa, the other is sure to follow.

GlassPrisoner

Early stages ? I'm sorry, you're way past that. You have become physically dependent on alcohol.

I was the same way. I had to maintain some alcohol in my blood stream 24 x 7 or I'd start going through withdraw. The shaking, the smell, etc etc. I can relate to all that you posted.

I de-toxed at home. It's not recommend because it's extremely dangerous. After I de-toxed (while de-toxing actually), I walked to the nearest AA meeting, where my sponsor found me.

That was 106 days ago. I've never been happier, even though I don't have much "stuff".

UncleEarl

Hey, Nuudawn...we're both Canadian and I SO lived the same situation as you (more than once or twice)...you sure you aren't one of my exes? *grin*


Jacknscoob...

Seems that what needs to be said has already been said above. The only thing I might add is that if you feel you are isolating yourself now, just wait until (and unless) your drinking progresses...and it WILL progress, given what you've told us. Though we are all different people, there are some common denominators that we all share, one of which is that we all found that we surrendered much or our lives to alcohol.

I have been sober a scant month over the last 25 years and I already know that I will NEVER get involved in a mutual drinking relationship again. Not only is the relationship predestined to failure (you're dealing with each other on a non-real, intoxicated level), but it's all too easy to while away your time with a bottle rather than fulfill the dreams you had when you became a couple in the first place.

If you feel you are in the "early stages" (your phrase, though my gut tells me that Glassprisoner is closer to the mark), nip it in the bud while it's still relatively easy. It only gets harder, as I'm sure every person here will attest to.

Best of luck! Sobriety rocks!!

Earl

BBQBOY

I agree with all others who posted...remember ALCOHOLISM is a Progressive and Chronic Disease ... Gone unchecked... Leads to DEATH...

Work Hard , Keep an open Mind, I'm sure your both WORTH IT..NED

Nuudawn

Eeek...I'm from British Columbia Earl...lol. Moving back real shortly actually. Only lived here in eastern Canada a year and a half.

earlybird

You say that you cannot picture a life without drinking. When you do not drink, you shake uncontrollably. You crave a drink in the morning. You do not have any employment, yet, given all this,.....you go on to say that your drinking isnt a "problem". Your body, at the very least, is telling you that this is a HUGE problem. Also,...do NOT fool yourself,....people KNOW that you are an alcoholic. Friends, family,....they know. They may not be saying anything just yet,...but most of them know. You have drank yourself right into your body being physically dependant on booze. Thats why you shake. Detoxing alone wont help you. Detoxing only gets rid of the alcohol in your system safely. It doesnt "fix" your life. "Treatment" does that. Dont kid yourself into thinking you are doing just fine because you still can "function" in your life. You dont have a job. If you did,...you would end up losing it at this point. You cannot go into work hungover or drunk. Nor can you call in sick dozens of times and keep a job. May I ask why you and your husband both dont work right now? Is it alcohol related? You say that you both do not drink and drive. If you are always drinking,....who does the shopping? You runs the errands? What would you do if an emergency arose in which one of you was hurt or otherwise and one of you needed to drive? Your drinking is a PROBLEM. Whether you see that or not. Your drinking, at the very least, prohibits you from doing daily "life" things. For instance, you stated that you dont socialize with people right now because you are always shaking. Does that sound "normal" to you? Yes,..people may realize that you are an alcoholic if you "go around" them while you are shaking, but,...what do you think they assume when you "hide" from them? Trust me,...you arent hiding your problem like you think you are. People know. Besides,...hiding a problem doesnt eliminate a problem. All you are doing is making sure you are alone in dealing with this problem. You need help. I suggest you get it. Fast.

c'est la vie

hi jns, welcome to SR. I hope the things you learn here will help direct you to a new path in life. I hope that you are able to read Earlybirds post several times over until everything sinks in. Sometimes when you hear such brutal honesty the first reaction is to recoil and not hear it. It sounds like it's spot on.

Please keep posting and reading and definitely see a doctor.

BigGirlPanties

just wondering....

if you dont have a problem, why post on an alcohol recovery forum?

dont have a problem, yet your body is suffering withdrawals? You even say its abnormal.

Not trying to break your bones, here, hoping you will see the inconsistencies of what youre saying. Normal drinkers have no need at all to post here...why? Cus they never give more than 1 second's thought about thinking. They could take it AND then leave it. It doesnt consume thier time or thinking space.

I wish you clarity and peace in your process.

jacknscoob

Hi Guys

Thanks for all your replies. Thanks for taking the time.

Yes I realise that we have a problem and I think a docs check-up will be in order.

I have read somewhere that whilst coming off the booze that valium can help whilst u detox... is this helpful?

Does anyone know where u can buy it on the net?

Also, we do not need to work as we have independent incomes from properties we own overseas.

Thanks again for your support.

Jacknscoob