Completely Stop?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Posts: 7
Completely Stop?
I am a newbie here, and have been reading over some posts, and it seems like most people here have either completely quit drinking, or are trying to completely quit drinking.
In the past I have considered myself a problem drinker. But not an alcoholic. I'm 25 years old, and for 2 1/2 years, I drank on average 10 beers every day. But for the past 8 months or so, I have limited myself, and I mostly drink on the weekends at night, but most of the time I slip during the work week once or twice. Sometimes I don't drink at all during the week. It all depends on how motivated I am to not drink. I mostly drink out of boredom. I work different hours than everyone else that I know, so when I get home from work, I have nothing to do, so I kind of got into the habit of kicking back with a bunch of beers after work. I've never had anything negative resulting from my drinking. I am completly functional. It's just something that I used to do at night on a daily basis. But I find at night, when I don't drink I find myself incredibly bored. And that makes me want to get smashed. Usuallly I can just fight it, and stay sober, but like I said earlier, I usually slip once or twice during the work week. At this point, I don't consider myself having an alcohol problem, even though I probably drink more than most people.
But everyone on this site seems to want to quit completley. And if your in an extreme drinking situation, I don't blame, you. But do you people think that just cutting down on alcohol is a reasonable solution for people like me? Is drinking on the weekends and maybe once or twice during the week ok? Keep in mind that I never drink and drive, and I always do my drinking at night, after my day is over. I'm just looking for somebody with a similar experience. Thanks for reading.
In the past I have considered myself a problem drinker. But not an alcoholic. I'm 25 years old, and for 2 1/2 years, I drank on average 10 beers every day. But for the past 8 months or so, I have limited myself, and I mostly drink on the weekends at night, but most of the time I slip during the work week once or twice. Sometimes I don't drink at all during the week. It all depends on how motivated I am to not drink. I mostly drink out of boredom. I work different hours than everyone else that I know, so when I get home from work, I have nothing to do, so I kind of got into the habit of kicking back with a bunch of beers after work. I've never had anything negative resulting from my drinking. I am completly functional. It's just something that I used to do at night on a daily basis. But I find at night, when I don't drink I find myself incredibly bored. And that makes me want to get smashed. Usuallly I can just fight it, and stay sober, but like I said earlier, I usually slip once or twice during the work week. At this point, I don't consider myself having an alcohol problem, even though I probably drink more than most people.
But everyone on this site seems to want to quit completley. And if your in an extreme drinking situation, I don't blame, you. But do you people think that just cutting down on alcohol is a reasonable solution for people like me? Is drinking on the weekends and maybe once or twice during the week ok? Keep in mind that I never drink and drive, and I always do my drinking at night, after my day is over. I'm just looking for somebody with a similar experience. Thanks for reading.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Stan the only person who can determine if you are an alcoholic is you.
Ask your self some questions.
1. Why did I come to the sober recovery web site?
2. Do normal people worry about how much or how often they drink?
3. Do you find your self drinking more every year you drink?
4. Can you drink one drink and not want another?
5. Can you go a year without a drink?
I will share with you what I know, I am an alcoholic, I drank for 40 years before I finally quit. I tried to quit the last 10 years I drank by myself and could not do it. Every year I drank I drank more.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, eventually I reached a point where I could not stop drinking by myself. Alcoholism is a disease, there is no cure, the only thing that can be done by the alcoholic to arrest the disease is total abstinance.
I used to drink like you and think the exact same things you are thinking right now. I only got worse, I never got better. I denied for years that I was an alcoholic, it was not until I had reached the point where I could not stop drinking that I realized I was, at that point I thought it was to late to stop drinking.
The longer an alcoholic drinks the harder it is to stop and stay stopped, some alcoholics reach the point where they drink their selfs to death.
Ask your self some questions.
1. Why did I come to the sober recovery web site?
2. Do normal people worry about how much or how often they drink?
3. Do you find your self drinking more every year you drink?
4. Can you drink one drink and not want another?
5. Can you go a year without a drink?
I will share with you what I know, I am an alcoholic, I drank for 40 years before I finally quit. I tried to quit the last 10 years I drank by myself and could not do it. Every year I drank I drank more.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, eventually I reached a point where I could not stop drinking by myself. Alcoholism is a disease, there is no cure, the only thing that can be done by the alcoholic to arrest the disease is total abstinance.
I used to drink like you and think the exact same things you are thinking right now. I only got worse, I never got better. I denied for years that I was an alcoholic, it was not until I had reached the point where I could not stop drinking that I realized I was, at that point I thought it was to late to stop drinking.
The longer an alcoholic drinks the harder it is to stop and stay stopped, some alcoholics reach the point where they drink their selfs to death.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Walden CO
Posts: 151
I don't know if cutting down is a reasonable solution for you or not. I will share a brief explanation of my journey into alcholism with you, however. In the beginning of my adult life, I didn't even have alcohol of any kind in my house, other than an occasional six pack of beer that lasted from two weeks to a month in my fridge! In my early 30's, I started drinking socially, which got me through the next 15 years of so. Then up until nine years ago, when I still had a job, I didn't drink during the day except an occasional margarita for lunch when we all went out for Mexican food. Like you, I'd drink out of boredom after work, at home (not as many beers as you do, though). I drank on weekends, sometimes not too terribly much, sometimes way too much. I did drink and drive. I knew I drank more than I should, but NEVER would've considered myself an alcoholic.
Nine years ago I remarried and moved to a small town in the mountains. My type of work didn't exist here and my husband made plenty of money for me to retire. In time, I ran out of things to do and my drinking progressed from "never before 5:00" to "never before noon" to "never before 11:00" to
"4:30 a.m. the minute my husband walked out the door for work". By the time I decided I had a problem (took me about five years of drinking at 4:30 a.m. to face it) I was drinking about 24 drinks a day - beer and wine, mostly. It took me about two years after that realization hit to get scared. By then I couldn't function for even 30 minutes without a drink. My liver enzymes were elevated, I'd gained 34 pounds from all that alcohol, heck - when my mother-in-law was in the hospital dying, I was right there by her side - complete with a one liter club soda bottle full of vodka that I could mix with my club soda and no one would be the wiser. The 30 minute meeting we had with the dr. prior to pulling her off of life support was excruciating for me because I couldn't go that long w/o a drink.
I finally quit drinking in July, only to start again in August. Went on antabuse in October(?), took that for 60 sober days and then started drinking on antabuse. Finally quit again 15 days ago today and am sober w/o antabuse or anything but will power and lots of support. It's the best feeling I've had in years - hope I can keep it up. I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not, but I'd have to guess you're heading that direction. It's great that you're asking questions about it now and having doubts - perhaps you can head it off before you get to the point so many of the rest of us have. It's not a fun place to be, nor is it an easy place to get out of! Good luck!
Nine years ago I remarried and moved to a small town in the mountains. My type of work didn't exist here and my husband made plenty of money for me to retire. In time, I ran out of things to do and my drinking progressed from "never before 5:00" to "never before noon" to "never before 11:00" to
"4:30 a.m. the minute my husband walked out the door for work". By the time I decided I had a problem (took me about five years of drinking at 4:30 a.m. to face it) I was drinking about 24 drinks a day - beer and wine, mostly. It took me about two years after that realization hit to get scared. By then I couldn't function for even 30 minutes without a drink. My liver enzymes were elevated, I'd gained 34 pounds from all that alcohol, heck - when my mother-in-law was in the hospital dying, I was right there by her side - complete with a one liter club soda bottle full of vodka that I could mix with my club soda and no one would be the wiser. The 30 minute meeting we had with the dr. prior to pulling her off of life support was excruciating for me because I couldn't go that long w/o a drink.
I finally quit drinking in July, only to start again in August. Went on antabuse in October(?), took that for 60 sober days and then started drinking on antabuse. Finally quit again 15 days ago today and am sober w/o antabuse or anything but will power and lots of support. It's the best feeling I've had in years - hope I can keep it up. I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not, but I'd have to guess you're heading that direction. It's great that you're asking questions about it now and having doubts - perhaps you can head it off before you get to the point so many of the rest of us have. It's not a fun place to be, nor is it an easy place to get out of! Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: QUEENS, NY
Posts: 200
Hi Stan
Let me get this right...you drink 10 beers a night because your bored???
Interesting..
I might look into other ways to pass the time.
Honestly I think your feeding yourself a line.
I challenge you to find a hobby and stop drinking for 3 months (90 days), if you can't do it at least you will know its not really out of boredom that you drink, 10 beers is not even social drinking, its heavy drinking.
Goodluck Rose
Let me get this right...you drink 10 beers a night because your bored???
Interesting..
I might look into other ways to pass the time.
Honestly I think your feeding yourself a line.
I challenge you to find a hobby and stop drinking for 3 months (90 days), if you can't do it at least you will know its not really out of boredom that you drink, 10 beers is not even social drinking, its heavy drinking.
Goodluck Rose
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: QUEENS, NY
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by Stan50 
But for the past 8 months or so, I have limited myself, and I mostly drink on the weekends at night, but most of the time I slip during the work week once or twice. Sometimes I don't drink at all during the week. It all depends on how motivated I am to not drink.
Sonds like a lot of effort to control drinking, and when yor talking about "slipping" you really have a problem.
Normal social drinkers don't slip, count drinks or try not to drink during the week.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
You are only 25 years old and the world is your oyster. In this big ole world, you believe the only fodder and amusement for your mind is boozin it up? I too drank when bored and I was bored every damn day. Alcohol is a depressant that kills initiative. If you're looking for someone to support your position that you don't have a problem, you won't find it in this post. People without drinking problems don't ever find themselves in alcoholism forums, they don't spend their time drinking out of boredom, they don't consume 10 beers a day days on end, they don't have to put limits on their intake because is simply ISN'T an issue. Whether you like it or not you have a drinking problem that is progressive. I find your rationale for drinking much more problematic than the amount actually. Go get yourself a life...a real life. Start showing up for the adventure instead of hiding away.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Stan your thread title was "completely stop?". The answer yes. I've never heard of anyone dying from quitting. I have to agree with Nuudawn I know I would have never come to this site if I did not have any concern that I had a problem. Yes I was in denial about it and people on this site helped me to see it. But deep down inside I knew, otherwise I would not have been looking for a site such as this. If some of us seem blunt with you please understand we've all used the same excuses to justify our drinking. No one here wants to see anyone else go through some of the problems we've experienced because of drinking. Everyone has stories to tell the only ones with happy endings are the ones that end with sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
You are only 25 years old and the world is your oyster. In this big ole world, you believe the only fodder and amusement for your mind is boozin it up? I too drank when bored and I was bored every damn day. Alcohol is a depressant that kills initiative. If you're looking for someone to support your position that you don't have a problem, you won't find it in this post. People without drinking problems don't ever find themselves in alcoholism forums, they don't spend their time drinking out of boredom, they don't consume 10 beers a day days on end, they don't have to put limits on their intake because is simply ISN'T an issue. Whether you like it or not you have a drinking problem that is progressive. I find your rationale for drinking much more problematic than the amount actually. Go get yourself a life...a real life. Start showing up for the adventure instead of hiding away.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'm still drinking a bit on the weeknds socially
Because I think I can help others.
I am here to help others quit drinking...
and to share my experiences with recovery.
Sober Recovery is the name of our site.
I do hope you find a way to stop drinking.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Stan....this site might interest you
as you plan to keep drinking
Moderation Management, the one group that
deals with moderate drinking; useful for the guidelines:
http://moderation.org/
Blessings
as you plan to keep drinking
Moderation Management, the one group that
deals with moderate drinking; useful for the guidelines:
http://moderation.org/
Blessings
Today
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The South
Posts: 20
Keep up the good work Stan!!!
But please remember - Drinking out of boredom is a craving and until that boredom is replaced by something other than alcohol, the craving will always be there. I know, I am fighting it right now.
When I joined SR last Sunday, a very wise person posted something to the effect of "Wow, you spend a lot of time planning your life around alcohol".
That is not a direct quote, but it sure hit home.
Someone else posted (I think Glass Prisoner) that if an alcoholic says they are having "12 beers" they are probably having "more". Also, not a direct quote, but also very true.
I did the tapper down method this week in order to minimize the withdrawal symptoms, but I know me and I know that casual drinking will not be in the cards for a very long time, if ever. I am coming to realize this, finally.
Having said that, my motto is "never say never" but do say "not right now" over and over and over.
I hope you find your happy middle ground, whatever that my be for you.
Good luck!
But please remember - Drinking out of boredom is a craving and until that boredom is replaced by something other than alcohol, the craving will always be there. I know, I am fighting it right now.
When I joined SR last Sunday, a very wise person posted something to the effect of "Wow, you spend a lot of time planning your life around alcohol".
That is not a direct quote, but it sure hit home.
Someone else posted (I think Glass Prisoner) that if an alcoholic says they are having "12 beers" they are probably having "more". Also, not a direct quote, but also very true.
I did the tapper down method this week in order to minimize the withdrawal symptoms, but I know me and I know that casual drinking will not be in the cards for a very long time, if ever. I am coming to realize this, finally.
Having said that, my motto is "never say never" but do say "not right now" over and over and over.
I hope you find your happy middle ground, whatever that my be for you.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hello Stan,
Welcome to SR.
I remember when I was 25. I drank in a simliar way. It's a progressive disease and it gets worse. At some point I crossed the line from functional to dysfunctional, and I didn't even know it. I didn't know it because I was in denial.
You are just starting to ask yourself questions. Based on what I read, I think 100% abstinence is your best option.
We've been through the whole "cutting back" agenda here many, many times. I went through it myself. I came here, like you, thinking that I could suddenly learn to drink like a normal person again. Guess what? Abstinence works better for me than any other method I've tired. It's the first time in my life that I really have my drinking under control.....by eliminating it from my life.
Time and time again, people discover that not drinking is the best way to combat an alcohol problem. Alcohol is a powerful drug that is difficult to control and understand. It changes personalities and thought patterns. Most of us, who post on forums like this, are much better off keeping it out of our systems
chip
Welcome to SR.
I remember when I was 25. I drank in a simliar way. It's a progressive disease and it gets worse. At some point I crossed the line from functional to dysfunctional, and I didn't even know it. I didn't know it because I was in denial.
You are just starting to ask yourself questions. Based on what I read, I think 100% abstinence is your best option.
We've been through the whole "cutting back" agenda here many, many times. I went through it myself. I came here, like you, thinking that I could suddenly learn to drink like a normal person again. Guess what? Abstinence works better for me than any other method I've tired. It's the first time in my life that I really have my drinking under control.....by eliminating it from my life.
Time and time again, people discover that not drinking is the best way to combat an alcohol problem. Alcohol is a powerful drug that is difficult to control and understand. It changes personalities and thought patterns. Most of us, who post on forums like this, are much better off keeping it out of our systems
chip
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ND
Posts: 44
Stan, if this socially drinking on the weekends thing works out for you, more power to you. For me, it is not an option. I don't doubt that there are many problem drinkers in the world. I know quite a few of them actually. It kind of goes with the territory in this part of the country. The mentallity is basically, it's the weekend, the windchill is -20, so why not get smashed indoors. I am of the opinion that many "problem drinkers" are actually alcoholics being fooled by their own delusions.
About me, I'm also 25 and live probably about an eight hour drive away from you. I also thought I was completely functional. I still had a job, made good money, had a car and a license, had no legal problems, had an amazing girlfriend/fiancee of 4.5 years, etc... . (I also quit school multiple times, spent way too much time hungover, had no ambition, didn't take care of myself, lied continuously to gf/f and everyone else, etc... . But my alcoholic delusions allowed me to ignore that.) I was at the point where I hid my drinking completely from everyone. I drank alone in my room all night anywhere from 2 to 7 nights a week. I did this because I was ashamed of my drinking and wanted to maintain a reputation among others that I felt I actually didn't deserve (that's actually paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous, a great book you might want to read while remembering it was written in the 30's and hasn't changed the first 164 pages). I'm guessing you are thinking, "Oh, well I don't drink like that. He really had a problem." The fact is if you are an alcoholic, you don't drink like that YET.
I was finally able to admit to myself and everyone else that I was an alcoholic and wasn't able to do anything about it. I needed and still need help from others to learn to live with this disease. It hasn't been a fun ride a lot of the time. I regret to say that things didn't work out between my fiancee and I. However, I am infinitely happier sober and I can actually feel the happiness. I am no longer numb to my emotions. I am working a program of recovery to help me learn how to live. I chose AA because of its successful history and availability and am extremely happy with my choice.
I honestly hope that you are not an alcoholic, but sadly I really suspect you are. If you are, I hope you can begin to see through the delusions the alcoholic brain can fool us with. My sponsor just told me yesterday about my own delusions, "It's amazing what the magician (alcoholism) can do, isn't it? He can make us see things that aren't there and not see things that are."
If you should decide that abstinence will be your goal, this website is a great place to start.
Peace, kp
About me, I'm also 25 and live probably about an eight hour drive away from you. I also thought I was completely functional. I still had a job, made good money, had a car and a license, had no legal problems, had an amazing girlfriend/fiancee of 4.5 years, etc... . (I also quit school multiple times, spent way too much time hungover, had no ambition, didn't take care of myself, lied continuously to gf/f and everyone else, etc... . But my alcoholic delusions allowed me to ignore that.) I was at the point where I hid my drinking completely from everyone. I drank alone in my room all night anywhere from 2 to 7 nights a week. I did this because I was ashamed of my drinking and wanted to maintain a reputation among others that I felt I actually didn't deserve (that's actually paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous, a great book you might want to read while remembering it was written in the 30's and hasn't changed the first 164 pages). I'm guessing you are thinking, "Oh, well I don't drink like that. He really had a problem." The fact is if you are an alcoholic, you don't drink like that YET.
I was finally able to admit to myself and everyone else that I was an alcoholic and wasn't able to do anything about it. I needed and still need help from others to learn to live with this disease. It hasn't been a fun ride a lot of the time. I regret to say that things didn't work out between my fiancee and I. However, I am infinitely happier sober and I can actually feel the happiness. I am no longer numb to my emotions. I am working a program of recovery to help me learn how to live. I chose AA because of its successful history and availability and am extremely happy with my choice.
I honestly hope that you are not an alcoholic, but sadly I really suspect you are. If you are, I hope you can begin to see through the delusions the alcoholic brain can fool us with. My sponsor just told me yesterday about my own delusions, "It's amazing what the magician (alcoholism) can do, isn't it? He can make us see things that aren't there and not see things that are."
If you should decide that abstinence will be your goal, this website is a great place to start.
Peace, kp
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