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Day 2 of sobriety...... for the 200th time...

Old 01-28-2007, 07:39 PM
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Day 2 of sobriety...... for the 200th time...

hi,

Been reading posts on here and also have lurked on and off for the last several months...

Cant seem to get totally serious about not drinking.... i still "flirt" with it... drinking a few beers several nights a week. Then saying im going to quit... then drinking again.... merry go round deal.

i cant get serious about anything tho, not just drinking (quitting). Cant commit to things...which is why i dont go to AA...ive gone before... its ok.... but cant/wont/dont go on a regular basis. Not afraid, just very lazy I think. Im the ultimate loner, love to stay home, etc., think part of this is from years when i had severe social phobias and panic attacks and i got into the habit of just never going out, etc.

i guess not looking for advice, since i seem to be a know it all type... ug.... just looking for support. This seems to be a very good, no, excelllent, message board. I pray I will quit drinking for good in 2007....

thanks for letting me share....

peace,

o
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Old 01-28-2007, 09:35 PM
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Im the ultimate loner, love to stay home, etc., think part of this is from years when i had severe social phobias and panic attacks and i got into the habit of just never going out, etc.
I was the same. Except it was the alcoholism that was isolating me from life, not any phobia. Note: I've always been shy and introverted too.
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:11 PM
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Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me to
quit drinking.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

To stay quit...and enjoy my new life
I use God and AA.

Works great for me!
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Old 01-29-2007, 02:16 AM
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Us alcoholics tend to be know-it-all's. One of the characteristics of the alcoholic is selfcenterness. It's our character defaults that fuel our drinking. When you finally get tired of your self will failing, and you feel you cannot live to your expectations, thats pretty much the first step. Hopefully when that point comes to the surface, you can try the meetings once again. Good luck.
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Old 01-29-2007, 08:08 AM
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Hi overcomer32 . You're right about this board being an excellent message board. It's good for advice even though you claim to not be seeking it. Just by reading other people's posts, problems and questions you will gain so much. I know I have. It is a great soure of support... it has helped me tremendously. I may not always like what I read... but sometimes that helps more than what you want to hear, ya know? I'm in NJ too... pm me if you like .
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Old 01-29-2007, 08:26 AM
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hello overcomer,

welcome! recovery is possible. it takes commitment. and a lot of hard work. very rewarding though. my daughter is 120 days sober after rehab and now daily aa meetings. her energy and commitment to life is coming back, she's hard to keep up with! blessings, k
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Old 01-29-2007, 09:44 AM
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i cant get serious about anything tho, not just drinking (quitting). Cant commit to things...which is why i dont go to AA...ive gone before... its ok.... but cant/wont/dont go on a regular basis. Not afraid, just very lazy I think. Im the ultimate loner, love to stay home, etc., think part of this is from years when i had severe social phobias and panic attacks and i got into the habit of just never going out, etc.
Well except for the phobias and panic attacks you sound just like I used to be. Alcohol I found is the very thing that caused me to not deal with my real or percieved problems.

Once I quit many of the problems I thought I had dissappeared, others that were real I was/am able to deal with.

Alcoholism was leading me to not giving a damn about anything, it was not until my alcoholism had beaten me down into the dirt that I finally got help, after 40 years of drinking thanks to AA, God, and my willingness to follow directions I am sober and happy.
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Old 01-29-2007, 05:09 PM
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Hopefully when that point comes to the surface, you can try the meetings once again.
Oh, no, i have no intention of ever going to any meetings again. They were ok, but i dont see how they can help me to choose not to drink or anything. i also am not a joiner, dont commit to a thing, etc. I just like reading this board... more and more and more lately. I have COMMITTED to coming back the last few nights to read new posts..... i hope i can keep doing this, and not drink in the process.

i drank 1 beer last night, and am now on a 4th beer tonight... oh well.
I drank last night cuz i was in withdrawal and knew i wasnt going to get any sleep.....

This board is very helpful.... i tried to come back on late last night and i got this weird error message that ive never gotten in my entire life online.... and was unable to come back online. Weird.....

But thank u to all who posted, who post still, and who are kind and understanding.

Anyone else trying to quit again..... who have never gone more than a week or 2 sober, feel free to PM me!

peace,

o
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Old 01-29-2007, 05:20 PM
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Same...

"Cant seem to get totally serious about not drinking.... i still "flirt" with it... drinking a few beers several nights a week. Then saying im going to quit... then drinking again.... merry go round deal. "

Sounds kinda like me, well at least I'm cutting back nights finally, I used to drink 2 months straight every night, and smoke, but I'm cutting... still can't completely get off the booze, least I'm off the cigs only for 5 days so far with the cigs lol.
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Old 01-29-2007, 06:26 PM
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Paulos -

You sound just like me. I am cutting back tremendously while waiting for a pshch. appointment on 02/12 (first available). I have cut back from 6 - 8 vodkas per night to just 2. It was hard at first, but I'm doing well while taking lots of supplements. I could not even fathom quitting smoking at the same time. I figure I will slay one dragon at a time. Good for you!!!

I'm hoping for some help from the pshch. in the form of meds/counseling/etc. What are you waiting for?? Are you attending AA in the meantime??

Keep me posted on your progress. I'd love to keep in touch with someone who is going through the same thing at the same time.

TinLizzy
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Old 01-30-2007, 04:36 AM
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Overcomer & Paulos, I was like you, there was no way in hell I was going to AA, no way in hades they could help me stay sober, I was just like you 2 for about 10 years, I was miserable, I hated myself, I kept quitting for a day or 2 and be right back to drinking, I would cut back to 8 or 9 beers a day for a week and figure well heck 8 or 9 beers is no problem, why not 9 or 10? 11 or 12?

After 10 years of being miserable hating myself because I could not stop drinking I gave up!!! NO NO NO, I did not give up drinking, I gave up trying to quit drinking because after 10 years of living in misery trying to stop I finally admitted to myself I was powerless over alcohol!!!

Why in the world fight what I could not beat, I surrendered, to heck with it, I will drink because I need to drink, why be miserable and fight my disease, it is/was easier just to let the disease have total control over me. Wow what a relief, I am not being sarcastic when I say that, I felt good, no more fighting it, just drink!

Well when I saw death as the end of the drinking highway I finally was willing to do anything to get and stay sober!!! I put myself into detox, I swallowed my stupid pride and went into AA, I followed directions, I have not had a single relapse, I have been sober 134 days, and I am happier then I have been in over 30 years.

Why fight the disease? Do what I did, give up.... it is far easier, don't be miserable, drink like I did until you die or until like me you see death in your future and get help!
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