pickled

Hi, I'm new to your boards here and I have a request for anyone who has had a simular experience. What did you do? And did you get back?

I have had educational varieties Spiritual awakenings that left me wanting.(please God forgive my ungrateful talk here) But I worked with a sponsor 11 years ago, only briefly, He was from out of town. But after a meeting, in my fog I could hear" the message".And I told him I read, but couldn't understand! We then did 1,2,3, he told me how to do 4,I took the steps, then, they took me. And it was a Miraculous thing, after self was all but destroyed. I was walking down the street one day, and BAM! The light hit me from heaven, a ray and it stayed. And I was in constant companionship with my creator! My eyes could see! The 5 slogans had all new meaning! I could hear! Iwas safe, protected even from my worst enemy...me! I didn't need anything! No want! No women! I knew if I could only have this everyday... I was near GOD every moment! Un common sense! How it works was How it worked! I didn't believe in God, I knew God. On the first morning, I was afraid I wouldn't have it again, I prayed, you wanna talk humble? Shoot,lol, until it came again.For 3 days, and God told me to help my wet buddy out with 200 bucks. And I knew this guy he was worse than me! My thought was "he is hopeless and he'll be drinking up my money in 5 minutes"! Well not only did he not get the help he needed, I didn't meet the test with God! My new gift was useless to myself, it was selfish to myself, I wanted to hoard it, it was so good, but it gives itself away, and you get more than you had before! If you clean house and trust God!Well, off it went!What my soul has been looking for all my life!I have had nobody to talk to who understands.I know Ebby did! It's like once you get hooked to liquor, beer will help for awhile. But I need the straight stuff, the stronger the better!But to anyone who has it and hasn't lost it. I know the lessons I 've learned.(1) NEVER! say no to
A.A.(2) You'll know when you've had one!"THEN" carry "THE" message! (3) I didn't earn it, the steps made me ready to recieve it! (4) You can give what you don't have, and I can't get it ,from someone whom doesn't have it! (5) It is what God intended us to have all along!(6)We can't hear the real message til after we have recovered.(7) You can lose it!(8) And you guys that have it are hard to find!(9) I'll die with it! or (10) I'll die with out it! Anyone here? I'm trying but I'm dying!

Peter

Hi Pickled,welcome to the forum.

My Spiritual Awakening was of the "educational variety".

There were no Burning Bushes or blasts of light filling up a darkened hall for me.

My Spiritual awakening comes through working the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of AA and NA.It comes through working ALL the Steps not just 1,2 and 3.

Working Steps and Traditions allowed me to identify the areas of my life that needed changing and adapt a new set of attitudes and principles.

A "Spiritual Awakening" for me can be as simple as knowing what to do in a situation or as complex as a sense of awareness that a HP governs the Universe.

Where alcohol brought chaos,discord and confusion in my life a "Spiritul Awakening" brings balance,order and peace of mind.

All of us experience "Spiritual Awakening" in different ways but it is something that I know is inevitable if we work the steps to the best of our ability.

The Steps allows for Truth,Knowledge and Enlightenment of ourselves and our behaviour and with these we are well on our way to experiencing an "Awakening of the Spirit".

Peter.

pickled

I'm sorry I didn't make it clear, I was editing and didn't know I had the room.
After finishing 4, I went to a mens clean sweep retreat at a beautiful catholic, monistary. The priests were in recovery so it was very special to release my 5th step, I remember wanting to skim a couple of very shameful areas but, I knew this was where I was going to commit or quit. Out they came. In my room an hour later or so, I was on my knees for 7. Back home,8 came from my list. And after a few letters I was on my way. Keep in mind my new sponsor was gone after he showed me how to do 4. He wrote it out on a slip of paper. Because I could'nt read it. And I never saw Him again. I thank God for that man alot. Frank S. If your out here! But anyway.

Just exactly like the promises said "we will be amazed before we are half way through", the steps started to take me in step nine.
I notice looking back, that my next courses of action, 10, 11, and 12 came naturally, My desire to please this new God in my life, and the desperate desire to be right with Him, automatically kept me "self-forgetting" and dying to my selfman. And in the course of action of this and constant step of 11, 12 happened to me as described in my earlier comment.

I don't mean to belittle the educational variety, it may be God's will that will be all I will ever get. But having experienced the the other variety, anyone who has experienced it, and is still in it, will understand my desire for answers from anyone whom has lost that, and has gotten it back. Thank you, pickled

phoenix

It used to trouble me that I couldn't get instant spiritual gratification.I wanted to feel something when I prayed.I wanted to know I was making a connection with God.I wanted to be sure of what God wanted me to do with my life.And I wanted to feel that way all the time.

Finally it dawned on me that if it worked like that I'd never do anything but pray.It'd be just another fix...just another high...a spiritual rush.I'm a lot better off with a more down to earth feeling,and even with doubts and uncertainties.That keeps me right sized,and keeps me working.It keeps me humble.

I only need to know a few things about what God wants me to do.He wants me to be as honest as I can.He wants me to treat others with kindness and compassion.He wants me to work and be useful,and take care of myself.He wants me to keep my priorities straight.He wants me to live sober.

Maybe there's more,but that's all I really need to know right now.I just need to keep it simple.That's what works for me.If I do those things to the best of my ability I can be reasonably sure that I'm living within His will for me today.

phoenix

PhilN

My spiritual awakening happened when I realized God loved me and forgave me whatever I've done. He blessed me with sobriety and filled me with the desire to share what I've learned with others.

Since getting sober, I've been working on developing a relationship with Him that goes far beyond drinking. I've leared that quitting booze was just the beginning, God wants to be involved in ALL areas of my life - as my sponsor says - the only step that actually mentions alcohol is the first.

I'm still waiting for my true "spiritual awakening", the infilling of the Holy Ghost (but that is a subject best left for the "Christians" forum). For now though, I live a day at a time, secure in the knowledge that God will keep me sober so long as I follow his direction and continue to share what I've learned.

Doug

I used to feel the same way. Exactly.
Shortly after getting into recovery. Like so many other things, that has changed to on the road for recovery.

Thanks for the reminder Phoenix, I am not alone, I am not unique.

DolphinBlue

Thanks so much Pheonix. I was very relieved to read your post and I've a much more realistic and satisfying view of my whole HP problem.

Amy

marilyn s

My awakening came about when I went into a recovery program and could finally talk about my disease and stop trying to hide it. My awakening is still happening one year later, still trying to cope with this disease, still trying to fight it, still trying. I've come a long ways in the last year, and I have a long ways to go. At least I'm trying to save my life instead of ending it.

pickled

As I read in William James "varieties of religious experiences" There are as many kinds, as people who have them.
I know in the appendi in the back they say for that the awakening has worked for some. But I believe originally they were after the experience, and having had one, my question goes to like experiences.
Our original text, in I believe 1st editon and I know for sure in manuscript form, say's "After having had a spiritual experience."
From what I have been able to understand to be the difference is this. An Awakening, is a one time occurance, that leaves a life changing, or as the Big Book puts it. Attitudues, Ideas and motives are suddlenly cast aside and a new set begins to dominate them. And an Experience is dramatic and profound, the same as above happens, but it continues on, and gets more intese as time passes. And My earlier question is hoping to find an answer about the later. Although, one thing I love to hear about is everyones. More than anything else. It gives me hope, and lets me know I am not alone, and forever grateful that a God so wonderful, would let us know, He not only is listening, but shows His level of care by His attention. And one other thing I learned about them is this. They are so personal, that trying to tell others is hard,(sometimes impossible) because either you worry if sanity is still here, and while our own are believable, hearing someone else's is sometimes very hard to believe. But I enjoy hearing them anyway, in the understanding, That perception is reality, our personal perception is our reality, right or distorted, it is what it is. And seeing things from a point of view other than my own, an opportunity for growth for me. I learned even if you don't believe somebody else's experience, it could be not only terminal to someone else, by slamming their experience, (it maybe all they have, for hope at sometime, and very often is.) But Getting between someone else and God could be suicide also. Thanks, I love this site. It is pretty cool. Bye for now