eve27

Will have 4 months tomorrow and i want to drink very badly. I just thought someone out there could offer a bit of advice or support. Am feeling very alone although i know what i need to be doing, like going to meetings, getting a new sponsor, etc. I have been to an average of 1 meeting a week in the last month and gave up my sponsor about a month ago. Before that id been going to 3-5 meetings a week. So i have never started a thread before, hope that im doing this correctly. thanks, eve

CarolD

Hi Eve...Hugs

Congratulations on your sober time!

Did you ever time your cravings?

In early recovery . I did

Mine were 5/7 minutes in duration.
I can overcome most things for that short time!

I took action during that space.
Brushing my teeth...eating a Lifesaver...drinking water
(notice the oral connection?)

The longer I stayed sober
they lessened in both frequency and intensity.

Totally vanished by 6 months sober.

Keep going forward... Blessings

came2believe

(((EVE))) I will say a prayer for you! 4 months is great, CONGRATULATIONS! Promise me not to drink tonight. That's all you have to do right now, tonight.

Will a drink make anything better? It never did for me. It was that momentary release followed by shame, remorse, self-pity and anger at myself.

The only way out is through...

Here are 5 things you can do tonight instead of drink:
1) take a warm soothing shower or bath
2) pull a book of your shelf that you haven't read it
3) look into the primary of your respective party online. who are you going to vote for? it's a right people have died for.
4) write a letter to a loved friend or family member.
5) whack the penguin (can you beat my 479.7?)
www.birdcheck.co.uk/whackthepenguin.htm

All right, I think if I can do it, you can do it. How about it?

You know what you need to do. So in the morning, do it. I had to change sponsors early on too. I had chosen a really good friend who unfortunately was not a really good sponsor. It took a lot to face that I needed a new sponsor. I announced at each meeting I was looking for a sponsor, that's how I found my new one. I needed someone who was actually concentrating on working the steps with me.

I am so glad you are here. I have been in an awful gray self-staring puddle. Whew, thanks for keeping me sober Eve. Without knowing it, you somehow pulled me out of it!

Stay safe. XOXO

eve27

Thanks so much to both of you. I will not drink, just for tonight. Tomorrow is another day and you have given me some good advice, reminders, thanks again!

CarolD

Come post often Eve!

twingram

Hello Eve, my name is Diane and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for alittle over 2 years and I still have dreams about drinking, in my dreams I can have have a couple drinks and then leave it alone....IN MY DREAMS. I don't know what kind of drinking you did but,I was the type who drank as soon as I woke up in the morning and all day long. I would drink for several days until I had everyone in my life completely pissed off at me and then I would stop for a few weeks so basically I have spent years in a cycle of being drunk and then going through withdrawal and then drinking and then........It is a most miserable life. I feel kind of superior over all the people around me that are abusing alcohol now a days cause "I did it" I beat it's ass and I am not sick this morning,I will not have to worry all day about what I did last night or wonder if I am in trouble today. I love my life and you will love yours more and more as the month's go by and you stay sober. I would love to talk with you some more but I have to go to work now. Perhaps I will see you later ....I have some wonderful and entertaining drunk stories to pass your time,I think they could make a sitcom about my drunk days or maybe a movie of the week! It really is'nt very funny though is it? Lots of people are there with you, you are not alone! Bye

Tazman53

Eve as twingram said you are not alone!!!

Heck I got a new sponsor at about 2 months, I celebrated 4 months myself on the 18th. Eve you pointed out what you needed to do in the long run, I know right now in my sobriety I could not just do 1 meeting a week, and doing 1 a week is not going to help much in finding a new sponsor.

Why not go to some meetings you have not been to before, introduce your self and let folks know you are seeking a new sponsor. I was becoming frustrated with my first sponsor because he was out of town a lot and being single he was also working on a long distance relationship, I needed to start working the steps with a sponsor. The sponsor I have now is all about the steps.

Hon I wish you all the best, you know what you need to do and what not to do. You will be in my prayers. SR helps a lot, but to me the best medicine in the world is a meeting.

One more thing, if you have a network maybe calling someone just to talk..... talking to a fellow alcoholic in recovery helps a lot in a pinch.

Music

Nice to see you here Eve. I believe there are some hard fast things I "must" do, in addition to the "musts" in the Big Book.
1. I must not take that first drink.
2. I must go to meetings.
3. I must have a sponsor.
4. I must work the steps.
Anyone I've ever known to go back out, has done those four things in reverse. You didn't mention working the steps, you gave up your sponsor, you cut back on your meetings, which leaves one must left. When is that last one going to change to, "I must take a drink?" Have you ever heard the saying, "If it works, don't fix it." Looks to me like you tried to fix something that wasn't broken, and now you are where you are. Might be a good idea to do 90 in 90 and get that new sponsor, or better yet, get the old one back and get to work. Can't drink while working the steps.

Getoverit

Early Recovery Tips That I Trust: Do NOT pick up a drink - You can't get drunk... Go to many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many meetings!! And remember - If you don't pick up a drink - you can't possibly get drunk!!!!!! With 4 months of recovery the above is your BEST BET. The sponser, the Steps (what step could you possibly be working on with 4 months anyway - like Step 1 maybe??) the HP thing - We can get this simple program REALLY complicated when we put our minds to it!!! After all we ARE alcoholics........ Just go to a LOT of meetings and don't pick up a drink. This program gets YOU......You do NOT get this program........Good Luck...

bye_bye_vodka

I've taken sort of a new look at alcohol. I just try to put in my head that I'm almost allergic to it. So if I take I will be sick. It kinda helps me because I have allergies to shellfish, so I try and catagorize alcohol the same way. Hang in there. I can't wait till I can claim I've been sober the same amount as you have.

brians

I can not stay sober without AA program. Slips have taught me that.

Signal30

Pick up your "Where and When", booklet (or whatever they call the booklets that list the times of meetings, locations, and times), find a location and time thats near you and go to a meeting.

leviathon

Good job on the four months Eve. I am not sure why you cut back on AA or dropped the sponsor, but the two seem linked. Perhaps you want to look at that more closely.

You can do this. You just have to choose one second, one minute, one hour and one day at a time. Break it down as small as you have to in order to beat that craving and make it through. I found that by reducing it to minutes when i was having intense cravings helped b/c I noticed that they passed relatively quickly and then I was fine again.

Peace, Levi

gypsytears

You say you know what you need to do... so do it. You have my support here eve .

GlassPrisoner

My sponsor has told me "The things you don't want to do, you should proabably really be doing...."

Music

By the time I had four months, I'd worked, and was re-working, all the steps. When I read "How It Works", I read this:

"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps."

This says to me that if I want what AA has to offer, and I'm willing to do anything to get it, THEN I'm ready to take certain steps. When reading through step 3 to step 12, there's nowhere I know of where it says to take a rest and wait a month, or a year to move on to the next step. If anything, the Big Book tells me to go on to the next step and warns me about resting on my laurels. There's very little mention, if any about going to meetings, and getting a sponsor. The Big Book doesn't say "don't drink." In so many words it says if I don't think I'm alcoholic, to go back out and drink some more. I go to meetings and have a sponsor because I heard from people who were sober, that I should go to meetings and have a sponsor.

We sure can complicate the program by listening to how others complicate the program. Most the people I see go back out are those who insist on carrying the trash from the past around after a couple months or years in AA and are wondering why they still feel like crap. If I eat crap, and carry that crap around inside me, it follows that I'm going to feel like crap. The steps are about getting rid of that crap, and the sooner the better. The program is about following directions, getting sober, and being happy sober. The program is not about "not drinking."

parentrecovers

sending you encouragement and prayers in your recovery, k

GrouchoTheCat

Let me change this a bit Music.

It is SUGGESTED that:

1. Don't take that first drink,
2. Go to meetings.
3. Have a sponsor.
4. Work the steps.

Read the bottom.

Please hang in there, eat a bowl of ice cream and get to a meeting.
I have 61 days today and I don't want to lose it. I go to a meeting almost every day. I went to one at 7:30 this morning with a fellow member of AA.

I tried to stay sober for years without meetings and it never worked for me.

One day at a time,

Ted

Music

Change whatever you like Ted. When I was new in AA I was told that suggestions were "subtle commands." Like when your boss says, "I'd suggest you not be late for work in the future!" So, you take it any way you like.

eve27

Thanks for the helpful words...I have gotten a lot out of what everyone said. Went to a meeting on wed and am going to another one today and looking seriously for a sponsor. Even if i can just get a temporary sponsor for now that would be really good. The craving thing is really getting to me. I have heard that if i work the steps that my cravings will probably go away. This is a big problem cause after years in and out of the program I have never gotten past the fifth the step and i know "half measures evailed us nothing". (did i spell evailed right?). Something is holding me back, maybe i am not done drinking yet. But with all of the consequences i have faced and the fact that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC, I want to be done. Anyway i will keep posting and once again thanks for all the help and support that is being offered. I really appreciate it...eve