Random thoughts and Sober days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Owensboro, KY
Posts: 66
Random thoughts and Sober days
So...just wanted to say I got 19 days sober now. I think maybe I'll go out and take a few shots to celebrate!!!!!!!!!
............or maybe not, lol. Anyways, all the detox fun is over with. I am sleeping soundly, and waking up full of energy and ambition now. I do have some vivid dreams these days. I think maybe thats just part of going to sleep as apposed to passing out. Seems I can remember dreaming alot more with out alcohol in my system.
Visiting these forums everyday really does make a difference. The longer I am sober the more i tend to want to forget all of the bad times and dwell on how heavenly a good buzz would be. These forums put it back in perspective. It reminds me daily of why I can't drink.Not even one harmless Jim beam and Coke to sip on. Man that sounds good. The nice warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach as you take that first drink....but I digress. Like I was saying, coming here keeps me from forgeting all the reasons I hate being intoxicated.All the hurt and pain it causes. And honestly, all the good parties in the world don't justify the self inflicted mental and physical abuse that come free of charge with the alcoholic lifestyle.
I think I am just about to the point were I have enough strength to go ahead and stop smoking too. I have quit smoking before and for me it is way easier than quitting drinking. The two go hand in hand though which is a real pain. Any time in the past that i relapsed and started drinking the cigarettes were right there with me. I mean, after all, if your gonna drink yourself to death there is no need to sweat the small stuff like smoking.
I've been thinkin bout drinkin off and on today since I woke up but thankfully everytime I catch myself dwelling on it I just start to laugh at my alcoholic alter-ego and say " oh no, your not putting yourself through that hell again, just grab a diet pepsi and shut the heck up!". Seems to be working. In my mind I don't have to worry about endless days of sobriety. I needent concern myself with next week end or the next holiday, vacation, ect. All I need to worry about is that one drink. The one drink I can't have. As long as I don't have that one the rest of em are not a problem. Its the first one that gets ya.
I guess I am gonna use this thread in the future for more ramblings, rants, random thoughts. Feel free to skip over it if ya get bored by it. I think it will be good for me though.
Oh, almost forgot! I had a great idea at work today. If as a last resort, I find my way to AA and decide to partake in there methods, I got me a HP I can deal with.......The Flying Spagetti Monster!!!
Hope everyone is having a good sober weekend. I am. And right now I have no regrets about putting down the bottle. I am on the wagon with my seatbelt locked in place, lol.
............or maybe not, lol. Anyways, all the detox fun is over with. I am sleeping soundly, and waking up full of energy and ambition now. I do have some vivid dreams these days. I think maybe thats just part of going to sleep as apposed to passing out. Seems I can remember dreaming alot more with out alcohol in my system.
Visiting these forums everyday really does make a difference. The longer I am sober the more i tend to want to forget all of the bad times and dwell on how heavenly a good buzz would be. These forums put it back in perspective. It reminds me daily of why I can't drink.Not even one harmless Jim beam and Coke to sip on. Man that sounds good. The nice warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach as you take that first drink....but I digress. Like I was saying, coming here keeps me from forgeting all the reasons I hate being intoxicated.All the hurt and pain it causes. And honestly, all the good parties in the world don't justify the self inflicted mental and physical abuse that come free of charge with the alcoholic lifestyle.
I think I am just about to the point were I have enough strength to go ahead and stop smoking too. I have quit smoking before and for me it is way easier than quitting drinking. The two go hand in hand though which is a real pain. Any time in the past that i relapsed and started drinking the cigarettes were right there with me. I mean, after all, if your gonna drink yourself to death there is no need to sweat the small stuff like smoking.
I've been thinkin bout drinkin off and on today since I woke up but thankfully everytime I catch myself dwelling on it I just start to laugh at my alcoholic alter-ego and say " oh no, your not putting yourself through that hell again, just grab a diet pepsi and shut the heck up!". Seems to be working. In my mind I don't have to worry about endless days of sobriety. I needent concern myself with next week end or the next holiday, vacation, ect. All I need to worry about is that one drink. The one drink I can't have. As long as I don't have that one the rest of em are not a problem. Its the first one that gets ya.
I guess I am gonna use this thread in the future for more ramblings, rants, random thoughts. Feel free to skip over it if ya get bored by it. I think it will be good for me though.
Oh, almost forgot! I had a great idea at work today. If as a last resort, I find my way to AA and decide to partake in there methods, I got me a HP I can deal with.......The Flying Spagetti Monster!!!
Hope everyone is having a good sober weekend. I am. And right now I have no regrets about putting down the bottle. I am on the wagon with my seatbelt locked in place, lol.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad you are here and sober too!
You are already using some of the AA method
LOL
You are sharing your journey
Figured out your own HP
Thinking the drink tru to it's conquences
Doing "One Day At A Time"
Keep in focus
You are already using some of the AA method
LOL
You are sharing your journey
Figured out your own HP
Thinking the drink tru to it's conquences
Doing "One Day At A Time"
Keep in focus
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 94
Congrats and good luck! I look as alcohol as being a caged 800 pound gorilla. If I decide to go back into the cage I will no doubtly loose! BTW, I'm having bizarre dreams too, but you know....when I drank I couldn't tell you any dreams that I had. Continue the fight.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: On the way
Posts: 9
Hi Marius
Sounds like you're doing great! These forums have made a positive difference in my life as well. I don't post that much, but just want to say thanks to you and all for sharing your struggles, thoughts and advice.
Ellie
Sounds like you're doing great! These forums have made a positive difference in my life as well. I don't post that much, but just want to say thanks to you and all for sharing your struggles, thoughts and advice.
Ellie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 264
Hi Marious,
Glad you're here and posting. The first drink IS the one that gets 'ya. The AA program is all about what we need to do to stay away from that first drink and all the things we do INSTEAD of white-knuckling it. As Carol said, you're instinctively using a lot of it now. Keep an open mind. Peace to you.
Glad you're here and posting. The first drink IS the one that gets 'ya. The AA program is all about what we need to do to stay away from that first drink and all the things we do INSTEAD of white-knuckling it. As Carol said, you're instinctively using a lot of it now. Keep an open mind. Peace to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Owensboro, KY
Posts: 66
I read something in the forums of interest today. Someone put forth the idea that a person can be cured of alcoholism. That some how if what drove a person to drink was removed from the equation than his psychological need for it would disappear. Then after some time away from drinking the physical need would also be gone. Then poof! Congrats, your no longer an alcoholic. And ofcoarse, this all leads to the wonderful world of drinking in moderation just like normal people do.
Rubbish. If this were true, than all we would need is some good therapy to be cured. Honestly, how many ppl have you met or even heard about who was cured of alcoholism and now hang out at the bar every weekend to kick back a couple of beers then call it a night.
There are people out there who at times drink to much and with or with out help they began to moderate their drinking.Good for them. They were never alcoholics though.
There is no going back for an alcoholic.
Also it is important to differentiate between the reasons we really drink and the lies we create to justify drinking. For example: I gotta get plastered tonight because I had a bad day at work. <--the real reason u gotta get plastered is because your an alcoholic and crave a drink. the bad day at work would be the excuse, not the reason. Getting a dream job wouldn't cure you of your disease. You would just find another excuse.
Seriously, an alcoholic who is cured and can now drink normal as if the alcoholism was just "a phase" would be like a junkie who after seeking profesional help with his problems, decides he is just gonna moderate his use of herion.
Feel free to agree or disagree, or godforbid take this personal. Just me wanting to get this off my chest
Rubbish. If this were true, than all we would need is some good therapy to be cured. Honestly, how many ppl have you met or even heard about who was cured of alcoholism and now hang out at the bar every weekend to kick back a couple of beers then call it a night.
There are people out there who at times drink to much and with or with out help they began to moderate their drinking.Good for them. They were never alcoholics though.
There is no going back for an alcoholic.
Also it is important to differentiate between the reasons we really drink and the lies we create to justify drinking. For example: I gotta get plastered tonight because I had a bad day at work. <--the real reason u gotta get plastered is because your an alcoholic and crave a drink. the bad day at work would be the excuse, not the reason. Getting a dream job wouldn't cure you of your disease. You would just find another excuse.
Seriously, an alcoholic who is cured and can now drink normal as if the alcoholism was just "a phase" would be like a junkie who after seeking profesional help with his problems, decides he is just gonna moderate his use of herion.
Feel free to agree or disagree, or godforbid take this personal. Just me wanting to get this off my chest
Last edited by marius404; 01-21-2007 at 08:14 PM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
Just a random thought here...
Why must the definition of being "cured" of alcoholism invariably lead to a return to an attempt of drinking like "normal" people.
Can a person not be cured of alcoholism but choose never to drink again?
I guess it's how a person chooses to define it personally. If a person, say , in middle age quit drinking for their remaining 30 or 40 years and never drank again, knowing full well that even one drink would put them right back where they were, could they call themselves cured?
Ron
Why must the definition of being "cured" of alcoholism invariably lead to a return to an attempt of drinking like "normal" people.
Can a person not be cured of alcoholism but choose never to drink again?
I guess it's how a person chooses to define it personally. If a person, say , in middle age quit drinking for their remaining 30 or 40 years and never drank again, knowing full well that even one drink would put them right back where they were, could they call themselves cured?
Ron
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ND
Posts: 44
I'll concur with your last post. I know I could drink normally. I could drink a couple and stop. Then I could do it again a few nights later. But that's my alcoholic brain trying to convince me to try it. Within a week or two I would be right back where I was. When I "came out of it" I would have to start all over again and be incredibly depressed again.
By the way, FSM was a thought to me for a higher power, too. I have my own idea now that I believe is working for me. But that is what it is about, whatever works for you.
rAMEN,
kp
By the way, FSM was a thought to me for a higher power, too. I have my own idea now that I believe is working for me. But that is what it is about, whatever works for you.
rAMEN,
kp
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ND
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by Mongo 
knowing full well that even one drink would put them right back where they were, could they call themselves cured?
Ron
Ron
I think your answer is in the question. The disease is still there if one drink can bring on the symptoms again. That person is not cured, they have just learned how to treat their disease incredibly well.
just my 2 cents,
kp
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Owensboro, KY
Posts: 66
Thats a good point Mongo. I have thought about that before too.
My opinion is that for the alcoholic who has not drank for 20yrs. or what ever long amount of time still is not cured. The disease is just lying dormant.
Lets say he was cured. Then decided to start drinking again years later. It would have to be a fresh start. I know when I first started drinking my alcoholism was nothing near as bad as it is today. I used to have alot more control over it. I used to be able to stop drinking at a more reasonable point in time. In later years it got to where once i had that first drink you could pretty much count on me drinking till I ran out of whiskey or passed out. So would this person who is cured now be able to drink again like he did in the begining or would he pick up where he left off?
I can't speak for everyone and I don't have much experience with putting down the bottle for long periods of time but...I did manage to quit for 6 months once and I thought I was cured. It only took me 3 weeks till I was drinking more alcohol more frequently than I ever had before. So, for me atleast, I was not cured.
Now that was just six months. This leaves room to debate how a longer period of time being sober might have changed things. I bet there are some people in the forums who have gone years, even decades with out drinking who can tell stories about what it was like when they decided to start up again.
Another thing that would be interesting to find out is if after going with out drinking for years does one finally stop thinking about it? I know over time you don't think about it as often as u used to but do you ever get to the point where u can say for the last year I never once thought about how much I would like to get totally wasted? I really have no idea if a person ever gets to that point....It would be nice though.
My opinion is that for the alcoholic who has not drank for 20yrs. or what ever long amount of time still is not cured. The disease is just lying dormant.
Lets say he was cured. Then decided to start drinking again years later. It would have to be a fresh start. I know when I first started drinking my alcoholism was nothing near as bad as it is today. I used to have alot more control over it. I used to be able to stop drinking at a more reasonable point in time. In later years it got to where once i had that first drink you could pretty much count on me drinking till I ran out of whiskey or passed out. So would this person who is cured now be able to drink again like he did in the begining or would he pick up where he left off?
I can't speak for everyone and I don't have much experience with putting down the bottle for long periods of time but...I did manage to quit for 6 months once and I thought I was cured. It only took me 3 weeks till I was drinking more alcohol more frequently than I ever had before. So, for me atleast, I was not cured.
Now that was just six months. This leaves room to debate how a longer period of time being sober might have changed things. I bet there are some people in the forums who have gone years, even decades with out drinking who can tell stories about what it was like when they decided to start up again.
Another thing that would be interesting to find out is if after going with out drinking for years does one finally stop thinking about it? I know over time you don't think about it as often as u used to but do you ever get to the point where u can say for the last year I never once thought about how much I would like to get totally wasted? I really have no idea if a person ever gets to that point....It would be nice though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Santa Monica
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by marius404
My opinion is that for the alcoholic who has not drank for 20yrs. or what ever long amount of time still is not cured. The disease is just lying dormant.
They never looked better, felt better, functioned better than days before that first drink. With last, they were dead.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by marius404
I think I am just about to the point were I have enough strength to go ahead and stop smoking too. I have quit smoking before and for me it is way easier than quitting drinking. The two go hand in hand though which is a real pain. Any time in the past that i relapsed and started drinking the cigarettes were right there with me. I mean, after all, if your gonna drink yourself to death there is no need to sweat the small stuff like smoking.
http://unhooked.com/nosmoke/index.html
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Another thing that would be interesting to find out is if after going with out drinking for years does one finally stop thinking about it? I know over time you don't think about it as often as u used to but do you ever get to the point where u can say for the last year I never once thought about how much I would like to get totally wasted? I really have no idea if a person ever gets to that point....It would be nice though.
Around 3 years sober...finished my formal AA Step work
prayed to my God to remove the obcession to drink....
Zap!
The only time I think of drinking is when I am
trying to help other alcoholics find sobriety.
At year 10 I noticed that I was thinking
"I have recovered"
I drank alcoholically for 5 years
I had doubled that time in sobriety.
Note recovered...not cured.
This April I will receive my 18 year medallion.
This can happen for anyone!!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi again Marius, I'm so glad things are going so well, and you have a great sense of humor!!!!!!!!
I thought about what you said--"Not even one harmless Jim beam and Coke to sip on. Man that sounds good. The nice warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach as you take that first drink...." And I thought about it some more. The thing is for us alcoholics we have to go and ruin that warm and fuzzy feeling--by getting to that one...hundreth drink........can't stop.......
Any-hoo, I certainly don't miss being sick, foggy, estranged from my lover ect.
Hugs, lol hope3.
I thought about what you said--"Not even one harmless Jim beam and Coke to sip on. Man that sounds good. The nice warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach as you take that first drink...." And I thought about it some more. The thing is for us alcoholics we have to go and ruin that warm and fuzzy feeling--by getting to that one...hundreth drink........can't stop.......
Any-hoo, I certainly don't miss being sick, foggy, estranged from my lover ect.
Hugs, lol hope3.
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