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Whats the point, really?

Old 01-21-2007, 10:05 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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alright, enough already

I am rolling along fine on day four...i know i wont drink tonight...its mostly because i promised my little girl I would quit smoking cigarettes, and i know if i drink, i will smoke, so at least for the time being, i am not drinking again....
I just wanted to set something straight here...my drinking may have contributed to my wife leaving, but it was not the sole factor..the fact that she moved into her boyfriends house the same day as leaving mine also contributed to me plunging deep into drinkings warm embrace...The fact that she told me she only married me for my money, and managed to take it, also sent me into that alcoholic embrace...so yeah, I am a big baby, and a sucker on top of that, but unless you know the complete story, ahh, whats it matter anyhow...I will quit drinking for the foreseeable future, out of promise to my daughter about the smoking thing...but doubt i will be back here, so dont bother posting any replies...way to friggin accusational and critical...can go take it from my stbx if i needed more abuse....
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Old 01-21-2007, 11:14 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Hi Lost,

Way to go on Day 4 and on giving up smoking! You are on the road to a better life. Hope you decide to come back and keep posting.

Ellie
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Old 01-21-2007, 11:41 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Well Lost....
here is a post of yours from last night

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi all....I really dont want to **** anyone off here, just having a bit of trouble...feeling sore all over, and very bitchy, so i have to fess up about my problem with AA...It just seems to be that AA People aren't much different from the Jehovies that come knocking at my door at 8am Saturday mornings...its all about, Our Way is the only way, and God this, and God that...and well, God doesn't exist for me, so you can see why that kinda pisses me off...Oh, and the few times I did go to AA, half a year ago...there were rubby dubs there...a few tweakers...more than a few illiterates..and to be honest, i was kinda worried about either getting shanked...or in the very least, Fleas from the whole thing..And the Holding hands with strangers for the Kumbayah singing or whatever? felt like i should get checked for Hepatitis...This is only a bitch, i know everyone isn't like that, its just i am pretty cranky....but still not drinking tonight....
I can't see why you are now complaining about our shares on this thread.
LOL
Stay or go...just don't quit trying to find sobriety.

Blessings...
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Old 01-21-2007, 11:44 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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We have all been babies through drink, that's what it does to us, that is part of being an alcoholic.
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Old 01-21-2007, 11:50 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by losteverything View Post
...so yeah, I am a big baby, and a sucker on top of that, but unless you know the complete story, ahh, whats it matter anyhow...I will quit drinking for the foreseeable future, out of promise to my daughter about the smoking thing...but doubt i will be back here, so dont bother posting any replies...way to friggin accusational and critical...can go take it from my stbx if i needed more abuse....
Lost,
You will find folks round here a lot more supportive when you are actually wanting help rather than trying to convince us that alcohol is an answer...that alcohol is justifable for your situation. Alcohol given instant gratification but at a very high price. I know that when I first read your post...yes, it made me angry because you have children who need a father...a live, sane,mature and financially responsible father. It made me angry because you were putting your pain before their welfare. I'm not saying that pain is enjoyable..believe me every alcoholic is quite versed on the horridness of pain...every alcoholic sooner or later will lose all that is dear to him or her. Cutting of the support of SR is once again, cutting off nose to spite face. Hey been there, done that! I got ticked off at an AA meeting two weeks ago and swore I would never return to that meeting because of something said. Turns out my anger over what was said triggered a whole bunch of stuff in me that after some time and process...like a week and a half and three days of misery and pain in there...I found what the darkness was trying to show me. This isn't easy Lost....
If someone calls ya a big baby..it's because we can see that behaviour in ya cuz we've ALL BEEN BIG BABIES...that's what alcoholics truly are. We want everything right now and on our terms. 42 days ago I was an emotionally crippled little girl lost in her own pity party...each day I grow up a little more and see the errors of my thinking ..and my previous selfishness...it process...and it's work..and it's hard and its scary...but with faith in "something" Lost, you will find the courage to carry on. Your children need a father..and that father is you
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Old 01-21-2007, 11:56 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I would just like to add that I'm not an alcoholic and I lapse into big freakin babyhood weekly. I have to remind myself that no one is going to make my life better but me and being mopey isn't going to change anything. Being an adult in general really sucks - except when it comes to eating cookies at will, going to bed when you want, and buying a new car
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Old 01-21-2007, 12:56 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Have you really lost everything or is that just what it feels like? I went through a divorce about 10 years ago and it was the worst thing I ever went through in my life, period. One day of it was overwhelming, and it just kept going on and on and on, month after month, year after year. Then when it ended the ex took the kids and moved 1500 miles away. More than anything I wanted the pain to stop. I also wanted sympathy, and it wasn't coming. If I'd got it I might be dead now, or worse.

So, I quit drinking and did the AA thing. I kept my job. At first I had to take a second job to handle child support and bills. THings got better after a few years and I dropped the second job. Today I make more money than I ever did. I also kept my life and my relationship with my kids. They love me and are eager to see me and spend time with me. Back in my drinking days my presence inspired revulsion, disgust and tears from those I loved. I can have a civil discussion with the ex, even spend several hours in her company, and not have to supress the urge to throttle her. THat, my friend, is a *&^#(%^ miracle.

If you're an alkie (and if not what are you doing here), you might be on the threshhold of losing a lot more. You still got that job, that house and a chance to see those kids. You don't live under a bridge and you don't need to wear diapers. Ever hear of wet brain? THat's not all that gets wet. THose are all blessings, though it might not seem that way. How much more pain can you take anyway? You really think any lasting relief is coming out of a bottle?

THanks for posting about your problems. You remind me of how I once was. I woke up thinking I had problems, but now I see that I dont. I've got blessings instead. You made my day. THe rest of the day ought to be great!!!

THanks again, best of luck, and God bless, what ever happens.

Last edited by collinsmi; 01-21-2007 at 12:59 PM. Reason: incomplete
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Old 01-21-2007, 01:14 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Lost,

Congrats on day 4!

It's rough and tough, but it's worth it. You are on the right track. It may hurt, but it's the right thing to do. Do it for yourself and your little girl.

She desreves to have a sober daddy.

Sometimes we all need to look for pity. Everyone else here has a hard time as well. The best thing we can do is try to help and stay sober. Everyone here wants to help you. I hope you'll keep posting....
chip
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Old 01-21-2007, 01:16 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I stopped posting on "lost" threads because i felt he wasn't ready to quit. you just want an excuse to continue your drinking. I listened to the previous posts and felt bad that i gave up on you, the way others gave up on me. quit being so pigheaded and give this a chance. what have you got to lose? a chance at a new life. I went to churc for the first time today, looked up a church on the net, emailed unsuccessfuly 3 times before i got through, because i need a ride to and from. a neighbor 3 doors down took me, heard a great sermon which i felt was directed to me, met a great bunch of accepting people who welcomed me with open arms. left with a "high" and am going back.
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Old 01-21-2007, 01:26 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Red face

Originally Posted by losteverything View Post
Adult baby? wallowing? mmmmm, is this part of that whole non judgemental acceptance thing you learn about in AA? thanks.....can do without that...thanks for that post...
Hi LET, I'm not in AA, but I know it works for a lot of people.
I don't believe tough love ever opened minds.

I do believe tough love works for some people through fear though.

Your Qoute LET "Okay, basically through day 3 sober now....and here at work, perhaps with too much time to think about this, but I really am starting to wonder, whats the friggin point of quitting? My quitting will not bring my wife and kids back...it wont save my house from having to be paid off for the debts...it wont keep the bills from accumulating, or my attorney phoning with yet more bad news....My quitting drinking is really like closing the barn doors after the horses have escaped..It will just be a big empty lonely space. I can quit drinking, i realize that..."

So what are you looking for, lets figure it out together!

Are you looking for compassion? I'll give it to you,

Are you looking for help? I'll try.

Are you looking for us to say, you're right, go ahead and drink? I can't, because I know what that brings, and I don't really think you want that, do you?

Talk to me LET. What are things that you like and want, not everything cost money. Hugs and LOL, hope3.

Last edited by hope3; 01-21-2007 at 01:29 PM. Reason: spelling and wording
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Old 01-21-2007, 02:22 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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The point is we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection
Sorry, had to
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Old 01-21-2007, 03:30 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by losteverything View Post
Okay, basically through day 3 sober now....and here at work, perhaps with too much time to think about this, but I really am starting to wonder, whats the friggin point of quitting? My quitting will not bring my wife and kids back...it wont save my house from having to be paid off for the debts...it wont keep the bills from accumulating, or my attorney phoning with yet more bad news....My quitting drinking is really like closing the barn doors after the horses have escaped..It will just be a big empty lonely space. I can quit drinking, i realize that...but if its my only friend, why would I? just to sit alone at home, with my stress, confusion, depression.....I mean, if booze actually brings some solace to your life, a bit of comfort each night, rather than sitting home drinking diet coke and watching the rest of the world go by....sobriety kinda sucks then....... All the things i have lost will never be replaced by quitting drinking...I mean, a man is entitled to a little comfort in life, right?
Its a cunning disease!!! Read your own post over and then tell me alcoholism is not tricking and leading your thinking! You got one more chance to choose to straighten out your life, and get things going in the right direction. What will you choose?
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Old 01-21-2007, 03:45 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by losteverything View Post
Okay, basically through day 3 sober now....and here at work, perhaps with too much time to think about this, but I really am starting to wonder, whats the friggin point of quitting? My quitting will not bring my wife and kids back...it wont save my house from having to be paid off for the debts...it wont keep the bills from accumulating, or my attorney phoning with yet more bad news....My quitting drinking is really like closing the barn doors after the horses have escaped..It will just be a big empty lonely space. I can quit drinking, i realize that...but if its my only friend, why would I? just to sit alone at home, with my stress, confusion, depression.....I mean, if booze actually brings some solace to your life, a bit of comfort each night, rather than sitting home drinking diet coke and watching the rest of the world go by....sobriety kinda sucks then....... All the things i have lost will never be replaced by quitting drinking...I mean, a man is entitled to a little comfort in life, right?
There is nothing so bad a drink won't make it worse...

This thinking above is just plain silly. I think you are BETTER than these thoughts that alcohol is sending you. You are smarter than this, Lost.

This is alcohol rearing its head and trying to trick you into drinking. Dissect these thoughts for a moment though. It is like lamenting a big old dent in your car and then deciding it looks so bad you are going to drive it over a cliff to finish the job. Or your kid has a broken leg so you may as well smash in his head as well. I just don't get it?

Your 4 days are a great start, please go get some SUPPORT somewhere....
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Old 01-27-2007, 05:57 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by losteverything View Post
Adult baby? wallowing? mmmmm, is this part of that whole non judgemental acceptance thing you learn about in AA? thanks.....can do without that...thanks for that post...
Nobody ever said that the truth never hurts. So how should I have broached the subject with you? "Hang in there!" ? "Its not your fault" ? or how about if I just agreed with you? "Oh,..yeah,...quitting is definitely not worth it.....suicide is the way to go.....Id keep drinking if I were you" Come on, pal. Life is there for you, but, only if you "attempt" it. Giving up is just that,...giving up. But,..yeah,....dont go to AA. Dont give the most successful at helping alcoholics quit organization in the free world a try. That would be too hard.
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Old 01-27-2007, 06:28 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Please don't stop!

Hang on my friend! We all have different reasons to stop!
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Old 01-27-2007, 10:55 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Well man,
Like most of us we've lost something(s) near and dear to us because of our choice to drink and drink and drink.

Seperating the way you feel right now from what you've done in the past will just show you that alcohol caused the wreckage. So asking, "Why shouldn't I just drink now?" will just cause more bad things to happen - that is a promise.

Trust me on this buddy, NEVER say things couldn't get any worse - testing the Man upstairs is a bad idea. For people like us, drinking only makes things worse.

Don't get me wrong, I know how you feel - I'm currently in a red alert status at work trying to save my job from my past choice to get drunk instead of work, put I have a choice NOW to turn it around. I'm certainly not going to say, "Well I'm already screwed so I'm just going to drink, it won't bring my chance of promotion back."

You've got people here that want to help you - and by the way congrats on posting and being sober for 4? days that's outstanding!

PR
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Old 01-28-2007, 07:10 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Looks like we are talking to ourselves............Hey Lost how are you, I care................Hope3.
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