Help!! I'm new here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Midland, Texas
Posts: 30
Help!! I'm new here
I am new to this board, was looking for an empty bottle board and realized it was no more.
Anyway, I have been an alcoholic now for about 12 years. I lost my dad through this disease and realized today I may not be here for my grandkids either. It all started when I couldn't sleep at night, started drinking and of course it got worse and worse over time. Now I start out drinking my beer about 11 PM and make it to bed at 5AM if I'm lucky. Sleep all day and wake up at 3PM to get the kids and then it starts all over again. This is ridiculous, I'm not even living my life anymore, it's just all about the booze. My family just pretty much ignores the big drinking thing going on, it has become a joke.
How, please someone tell me how to end this cycle?? I'm not real fond of AA, but I'm scared, I've quit before, but always started right back up. How is this done? Please, any advice I can get would be wonderful. Right now the thought of drinking another beer makes me want to throw up. My body can't handle it anymore! The only hope I have is that I want my life back.
Thanks for letting me reamble on.
Anyway, I have been an alcoholic now for about 12 years. I lost my dad through this disease and realized today I may not be here for my grandkids either. It all started when I couldn't sleep at night, started drinking and of course it got worse and worse over time. Now I start out drinking my beer about 11 PM and make it to bed at 5AM if I'm lucky. Sleep all day and wake up at 3PM to get the kids and then it starts all over again. This is ridiculous, I'm not even living my life anymore, it's just all about the booze. My family just pretty much ignores the big drinking thing going on, it has become a joke.
How, please someone tell me how to end this cycle?? I'm not real fond of AA, but I'm scared, I've quit before, but always started right back up. How is this done? Please, any advice I can get would be wonderful. Right now the thought of drinking another beer makes me want to throw up. My body can't handle it anymore! The only hope I have is that I want my life back.
Thanks for letting me reamble on.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
Hi Kelli/Michelle, Fellow Texan
I live in Austin, and wanted to drop you a reply here, as my drinking patterns were very similar to your own.
Being an alcoholic, there is but one solution to this hopeless state of mind and body that you are in the middle of. I am not going to say it is AA alone; however, it is through AA, and the suggested program of recovery, that some power greater than myself, which I call God works, and enables recovery from this very deadly disease. I have found no other solution, and I do not believe one exists beyond AA.
I do not know what your experience with AA has been, but I will share with you a bit of mine.
I didn't like AA or the people there when I first went. All I knew was that I was in very big trouble, and if I didn't do something about it, get help, something very bad was going to happen.
I had alot less to loose than you do in terms of my outer life; however, inside, I was as good as dead, and it sounds like you are very much in touch with the hopelessness of your situation.
I learned from a single person in AA that I did not at all have to like AA in any degree for it to work, and that somehow gave me hope. I've been going back ever since, and I can tell you, the results have been amazing.
What's been your experience with AA? I mean not to sound pushy, but I would encourage you to give it another try, and tell them whatever it is you dislike, about your discomfort. I am willing to be that someone there will be able to identify with your story.
Bob
Being an alcoholic, there is but one solution to this hopeless state of mind and body that you are in the middle of. I am not going to say it is AA alone; however, it is through AA, and the suggested program of recovery, that some power greater than myself, which I call God works, and enables recovery from this very deadly disease. I have found no other solution, and I do not believe one exists beyond AA.
I do not know what your experience with AA has been, but I will share with you a bit of mine.
I didn't like AA or the people there when I first went. All I knew was that I was in very big trouble, and if I didn't do something about it, get help, something very bad was going to happen.
I had alot less to loose than you do in terms of my outer life; however, inside, I was as good as dead, and it sounds like you are very much in touch with the hopelessness of your situation.
I learned from a single person in AA that I did not at all have to like AA in any degree for it to work, and that somehow gave me hope. I've been going back ever since, and I can tell you, the results have been amazing.
What's been your experience with AA? I mean not to sound pushy, but I would encourage you to give it another try, and tell them whatever it is you dislike, about your discomfort. I am willing to be that someone there will be able to identify with your story.
Bob
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Bear DE
Posts: 31
kelli/michelle
Welcome! I'm new here too. Your post really touched me and reminded me so much of my own struggle and the desperation that I went through.
When I was an active alcoholic, I was actually working with inmates, many of whom had drug/alcohol problems - but I didn't have a problem! (insert sarcasm here). I had a job, paid taxes, stayed out of trouble with the law, etc. It was my business if I wanted to stay up half the night drinking. Using that yardstick led me to the same place: pouring out bottles and swearing to myself to never do it again.
I learned that alcoholics only have one really common thread: Once we start drinking we can't stop. We're helpless once we take the first drink. Until I learned that I was helpless in the face of booze and couldn't beat it by myself, I was doomed to keep drinking.
Your post sounds pretty desperate. In it, you imply alcohol has power over you and you can't escape. I think you may be right. We can't beat alcohol alone, we need a higher power (Your post doesn't indicate what your religious beliefs are, so I'll use higher power instead of "God"). Asking this higher power to take away my urge to drink worked for me.
From this simple beginnings over two years ago, I came to trust and rely on my HP, building a relationship with them that lasts to today.
I'm not going to unconditionally endorse AA. I got started there and still hit a meeting every now and then. But my real power to recover came from praying to and trusting my HP. That said, I have seen AA do a lot of good in a lot of people's lives and agee with their program. It might not be a bad place to start.
I strongly feel that any person can recover with their HP's help, but having a place to go and talk to other people (without fear of judgment) helps too.
Only you really know if you're an alcoholic. Only you can accept it and start to deal with it.
Good luck and God Bless
Welcome! I'm new here too. Your post really touched me and reminded me so much of my own struggle and the desperation that I went through.
When I was an active alcoholic, I was actually working with inmates, many of whom had drug/alcohol problems - but I didn't have a problem! (insert sarcasm here). I had a job, paid taxes, stayed out of trouble with the law, etc. It was my business if I wanted to stay up half the night drinking. Using that yardstick led me to the same place: pouring out bottles and swearing to myself to never do it again.
I learned that alcoholics only have one really common thread: Once we start drinking we can't stop. We're helpless once we take the first drink. Until I learned that I was helpless in the face of booze and couldn't beat it by myself, I was doomed to keep drinking.
Your post sounds pretty desperate. In it, you imply alcohol has power over you and you can't escape. I think you may be right. We can't beat alcohol alone, we need a higher power (Your post doesn't indicate what your religious beliefs are, so I'll use higher power instead of "God"). Asking this higher power to take away my urge to drink worked for me.
From this simple beginnings over two years ago, I came to trust and rely on my HP, building a relationship with them that lasts to today.
I'm not going to unconditionally endorse AA. I got started there and still hit a meeting every now and then. But my real power to recover came from praying to and trusting my HP. That said, I have seen AA do a lot of good in a lot of people's lives and agee with their program. It might not be a bad place to start.
I strongly feel that any person can recover with their HP's help, but having a place to go and talk to other people (without fear of judgment) helps too.
Only you really know if you're an alcoholic. Only you can accept it and start to deal with it.
Good luck and God Bless
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 3
Re: Help!! I'm new here
My family just pretty much ignores the big drinking thing going on, it has become a joke.
I am new to this board as well. I just wanted to say that my family is the same way. They joke about my drinking all the time. It does upset me. I think because they drink a lot as well. Not as much as me but still a lot. So I can certainly relate.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: pacific beach,ca
Posts: 42
kelli/michelle Welcome!
There is no requirement to like AA or even believe it works,as a matter of fact it doesn't really matter what you think, feel ,or believe.What does matter is what you DO.
pg. 45 from the book Alcoholics Anonymous
"Lack of power,that was our dilemma.We had to find a power by which we we could live,and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well that's exactly what this book is about.It's main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."
I would suggest you get a copy of the book if you don't already have one.Start on the the first page the blank one and read every page between the front cover through pg. 164Then read some of the personal stories as well,I would start with Dr. Bobs NIghtmare.I would suggest you go to some meetings and ask for help.Find someone who not only knows what is in the book,but has experience with what's in the book.They can help and want to,their recovery depends on helping others.I will say one more thing.Your recovery is not dependent on people,it IS dependent upon your relationship with God,AS YOU UNDERSTAND GOD,very important,you can choose any conception of God you like,as long as it makes sense to YOU.One more thing,read pg.569 "Spiritual Experience"
Good Luck and God Bless
There is no requirement to like AA or even believe it works,as a matter of fact it doesn't really matter what you think, feel ,or believe.What does matter is what you DO.
pg. 45 from the book Alcoholics Anonymous
"Lack of power,that was our dilemma.We had to find a power by which we we could live,and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well that's exactly what this book is about.It's main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."
I would suggest you get a copy of the book if you don't already have one.Start on the the first page the blank one and read every page between the front cover through pg. 164Then read some of the personal stories as well,I would start with Dr. Bobs NIghtmare.I would suggest you go to some meetings and ask for help.Find someone who not only knows what is in the book,but has experience with what's in the book.They can help and want to,their recovery depends on helping others.I will say one more thing.Your recovery is not dependent on people,it IS dependent upon your relationship with God,AS YOU UNDERSTAND GOD,very important,you can choose any conception of God you like,as long as it makes sense to YOU.One more thing,read pg.569 "Spiritual Experience"
Good Luck and God Bless
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