I don't mean any offense but...
Sober and Free
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: bay area CA
Posts: 398
When I first started my return to recovery, I sat around in meetings thinking much like this. People would say, "I drank...so and so each night/week/whenever". I would think, my goodness! If only my drinking were THAT under control! Sometimes I thought it must be really bad that I could down more then the entire bottle of tequila in one day, felt great shame for it....(that was the me would would throw 1/2 the bottle in the trash the other int he recycle bin...so no one would see them att at once.) Sometimes I was just flat out JEALOUS that I could not get away with *just* that.
But then I realized something; I was focused on the booze. I wanted to know what, how much, how much a day, a week, a year. I want to know what it tasted like, felt like, smelled like...it was all about the drink for me. (by the way, it certainly helped to add to my self-defeating attitude. The "THEY can make it, I'm too far gone" attitude)
I never listened to the stories.Just the booze.
And when I did, holy cow! That lady only drank a bottle of wine a night, and yet...she is JUST LIKE ME! She feels the same things as me, struggles with the same issues as me, ect. Oh! There is something beyond the booze! The booze is the way in, the recovery is the rest of the story. (It was kinda like getting smacked in the head...hard enough to focus my eyes)
I don't know if this makes any sense. I only know that peoples bottoms differ, but the stories all seem along the same thread somewhere in there. It's how I started to cope with that. This is just me, my thoughts today. But thought I'd share them anyway.
But then I realized something; I was focused on the booze. I wanted to know what, how much, how much a day, a week, a year. I want to know what it tasted like, felt like, smelled like...it was all about the drink for me. (by the way, it certainly helped to add to my self-defeating attitude. The "THEY can make it, I'm too far gone" attitude)
I never listened to the stories.Just the booze.
And when I did, holy cow! That lady only drank a bottle of wine a night, and yet...she is JUST LIKE ME! She feels the same things as me, struggles with the same issues as me, ect. Oh! There is something beyond the booze! The booze is the way in, the recovery is the rest of the story. (It was kinda like getting smacked in the head...hard enough to focus my eyes)
I don't know if this makes any sense. I only know that peoples bottoms differ, but the stories all seem along the same thread somewhere in there. It's how I started to cope with that. This is just me, my thoughts today. But thought I'd share them anyway.
Wishing I could be good!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Just in my opinion. i feel everyone has a right to post on here but I feel that in whole the person is saying that some of these peoples problems are nothing compared to hers/his and they make maybe a bigger deal out of it than they really should. I sometimes look at other peoples post and think to myself "Man, they are luckier than they think compared to many people". That is where i think that this thread was going but could be wrong.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Greeneyes the point others are making is that if some one thinks they have a drinking problem they do. I am an alcoholic, I am the one that determined that, no one else. Realizing you have a problem with drinking is the first step in recovery and the most crucial one.
Every ones bottom is different, for me my bottom was right at the edge of the cliff, with others who are more fortunant then me they saw the edge of the cliff long before they got near the edge, others go over the cliff and hit very hard, but all of us are alcoholics.
If I told some one "You are not an alcoholic because you don't drink like I do.", I very well could alianate them and then rather then them stopping while it is easier and thier life is still pretty much in one piece, they continue to drink until it is impossible to stop drinking, they go over the edge of the cliff, hit the ultimate bottom and never recover.
Is it better to hit the brakes before the accident or after?
Every ones bottom is different, for me my bottom was right at the edge of the cliff, with others who are more fortunant then me they saw the edge of the cliff long before they got near the edge, others go over the cliff and hit very hard, but all of us are alcoholics.
If I told some one "You are not an alcoholic because you don't drink like I do.", I very well could alianate them and then rather then them stopping while it is easier and thier life is still pretty much in one piece, they continue to drink until it is impossible to stop drinking, they go over the edge of the cliff, hit the ultimate bottom and never recover.
Is it better to hit the brakes before the accident or after?
Rinnie's Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pylesville Maryland
Posts: 1,273
I have been following this thread since phlex posted it...
I know that I have not had the misfortune or drank in the amounts and excess of many people here, but I was heading in that direction...
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. We are all on the trail of destruction, some of us are just further along than others...
I knew that if I didn't quit when I did, I would be following in phlex's footsteps...
I agree with Taz, everyone of us have different bottoms. Some are much darker and deeper than others. I also truly believe that if you think you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you probably do. Some of us do something about our alcoholism before we reach critical mass and some of us don't. They don't call alcohol cunning and baffleing for nothing...
I thank my HP everyday that I realized before I got much deeper into my addiction to do something about it...
One day at a time.
Steve
I know that I have not had the misfortune or drank in the amounts and excess of many people here, but I was heading in that direction...
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. We are all on the trail of destruction, some of us are just further along than others...
I knew that if I didn't quit when I did, I would be following in phlex's footsteps...
I agree with Taz, everyone of us have different bottoms. Some are much darker and deeper than others. I also truly believe that if you think you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you probably do. Some of us do something about our alcoholism before we reach critical mass and some of us don't. They don't call alcohol cunning and baffleing for nothing...
I thank my HP everyday that I realized before I got much deeper into my addiction to do something about it...
One day at a time.
Steve
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Steve I am not sure how old you are or how long you have been sober, but I am 53, I was 52 before I finally admitted that alcohol had me whipped and got some help via de-tox and then AA. I will not lie, I am envious of those who realize at a much younger age then I did that they have a problem with alcohol.
I look back on all the signs I had that I was an alcohlic that I simply ignored until after 30 years of drinking I had reached the point of not being able to stop drinking, I had to drink! My 4 oldest kids were raised during those years, my twins went through the last 14 years of it, towards the end it was very bad for them.
Hind sight is 20/20, all I can do now is stay sober and be the best father and husband I can be, I can not erase the past, nor do I want to forget it. I also do not want my kids to forget it either, alcoholism is genetic and I want all my kids to not only remember me when I drank and the harm I did, but also be very aware of the early signs of the disease to where maybe they will if they have it, stop drinking before they screw things up like I did.
I look back on all the signs I had that I was an alcohlic that I simply ignored until after 30 years of drinking I had reached the point of not being able to stop drinking, I had to drink! My 4 oldest kids were raised during those years, my twins went through the last 14 years of it, towards the end it was very bad for them.
Hind sight is 20/20, all I can do now is stay sober and be the best father and husband I can be, I can not erase the past, nor do I want to forget it. I also do not want my kids to forget it either, alcoholism is genetic and I want all my kids to not only remember me when I drank and the harm I did, but also be very aware of the early signs of the disease to where maybe they will if they have it, stop drinking before they screw things up like I did.
Wishing I could be good!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Greeneyes the point others are making is that if some one thinks they have a drinking problem they do. I am an alcoholic, I am the one that determined that, no one else. Realizing you have a problem with drinking is the first step in recovery and the most crucial one.
Every ones bottom is different, for me my bottom was right at the edge of the cliff, with others who are more fortunant then me they saw the edge of the cliff long before they got near the edge, others go over the cliff and hit very hard, but all of us are alcoholics.
If I told some one "You are not an alcoholic because you don't drink like I do.", I very well could alianate them and then rather then them stopping while it is easier and thier life is still pretty much in one piece, they continue to drink until it is impossible to stop drinking, they go over the edge of the cliff, hit the ultimate bottom and never recover.
Is it better to hit the brakes before the accident or after?
Every ones bottom is different, for me my bottom was right at the edge of the cliff, with others who are more fortunant then me they saw the edge of the cliff long before they got near the edge, others go over the cliff and hit very hard, but all of us are alcoholics.
If I told some one "You are not an alcoholic because you don't drink like I do.", I very well could alianate them and then rather then them stopping while it is easier and thier life is still pretty much in one piece, they continue to drink until it is impossible to stop drinking, they go over the edge of the cliff, hit the ultimate bottom and never recover.
Is it better to hit the brakes before the accident or after?
That is a scary thought for it to be impossible to quit drinking if you have been drinking for that long of time.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
greeneyes that is why I put myself into de-tox, they kept me medicated which made the physical withdrawal a lot easier, as someone already said alcoholism is a progressive disease, for some it is very rapid, others like me it takes years, I reached the point where my tolerance to alcohol actually was unstable, one day I would drink only 7 or 8 beers and be pretty toasted and then the very next day I could drink all I could and not even cop a buzz! I was right at the very beginning of the last stage of alcoholism. The lucky thing for me was I had not developed cirrosis of the liver, but had a fatty liver which is a precursor to cirrosis, luckly for me by total abstinance from alcohol it is reversable. I had my liver enzymes checked a few weeks back and all my liver enzymes are now back to normal.
In the early stages of alcoholism it is a lot easier to stop then later on, eventually one reachs the point I did, you have to drink to be normal, not to be drunk. Once someone like I was does get it all out of their system the physical addiction is licked, the mental addiction takes longer and varies from person to person and also how well they work thier program. Through AA and my HP I no longer have the urge to drink.
BTW it was very scary, I actually gave up and simply decided to accept my fate rather then fight the alcohol anymore. It took death staring me in the face before I did something other then my own willpower.
In the early stages of alcoholism it is a lot easier to stop then later on, eventually one reachs the point I did, you have to drink to be normal, not to be drunk. Once someone like I was does get it all out of their system the physical addiction is licked, the mental addiction takes longer and varies from person to person and also how well they work thier program. Through AA and my HP I no longer have the urge to drink.
BTW it was very scary, I actually gave up and simply decided to accept my fate rather then fight the alcohol anymore. It took death staring me in the face before I did something other then my own willpower.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 15
Tazman, thanks for summing it up nicely. I was angry when I typed my last post, and normally when I get angry I have to look at myself and ask why. It's just that my sobriety is a matter of life or death, and when somebody makes comparisons I realize just how unhealthy it is in terms of justification and or denial....because I have been there and don't wish it on anybody.
Your cliff description is very similar to what I experienced....wow.
Ken
Your cliff description is very similar to what I experienced....wow.
Ken
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Ken we all have the same problem, but that does not mean it manifest itself the same way for everyone of us, if it did then alcoholism would be a very easy thing to self diagnose in the early stages and for many of us it would be nipped in the bud before utter destruction is acheived.
I actually did feel like I was standing on the edge of a cliff when I finally got help. Alcohol had beaten me, I had given up the fight to try and stop drinking, I accepted my defeat.
When my wife told me if you don't stop the kids and I are gone, we can not take it any more, I had a moment of clarity.... I saw that if I did not quit I would lose the only things that at the time semi-controled my drinking and as a result I would drink myself into eternal oblivion..... I saw deaths door, I had to stop but I knew I could not do it on my own, I had tried for ten years and had admitted defeat!
I knew the only chance I stood was to get sober enough to where I could think clearly enough to find, if possible a path to long term sobriety. The only way I saw to do that was to put myself into de-tox, that led me to AA which so far has led to 102 days sobriety, happiness, and the loss of the urge to drink. Wish I would have done it 30+ years earlier, there would have been a lot of happier people in this world today if I had.
I actually did feel like I was standing on the edge of a cliff when I finally got help. Alcohol had beaten me, I had given up the fight to try and stop drinking, I accepted my defeat.
When my wife told me if you don't stop the kids and I are gone, we can not take it any more, I had a moment of clarity.... I saw that if I did not quit I would lose the only things that at the time semi-controled my drinking and as a result I would drink myself into eternal oblivion..... I saw deaths door, I had to stop but I knew I could not do it on my own, I had tried for ten years and had admitted defeat!
I knew the only chance I stood was to get sober enough to where I could think clearly enough to find, if possible a path to long term sobriety. The only way I saw to do that was to put myself into de-tox, that led me to AA which so far has led to 102 days sobriety, happiness, and the loss of the urge to drink. Wish I would have done it 30+ years earlier, there would have been a lot of happier people in this world today if I had.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
Dear Phlex.
You are just the one I needed to hear from. I have been fighting this for years and have come to the conclusion that I will not have the courage to or the strenght to end this horrible cyle until something bad and horrible happens to me. Thank you for your wisdom. I will be a baby no more.
You are just the one I needed to hear from. I have been fighting this for years and have come to the conclusion that I will not have the courage to or the strenght to end this horrible cyle until something bad and horrible happens to me. Thank you for your wisdom. I will be a baby no more.
Wishing I could be good!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Tazman53
greeneyes that is why I put myself into de-tox, they kept me medicated which made the physical withdrawal a lot easier, as someone already said alcoholism is a progressive disease, for some it is very rapid, others like me it takes years, I reached the point where my tolerance to alcohol actually was unstable, one day I would drink only 7 or 8 beers and be pretty toasted and then the very next day I could drink all I could and not even cop a buzz! I was right at the very beginning of the last stage of alcoholism. The lucky thing for me was I had not developed cirrosis of the liver, but had a fatty liver which is a precursor to cirrosis, luckly for me by total abstinance from alcohol it is reversable. I had my liver enzymes checked a few weeks back and all my liver enzymes are now back to normal.
In the early stages of alcoholism it is a lot easier to stop then later on, eventually one reachs the point I did, you have to drink to be normal, not to be drunk. Once someone like I was does get it all out of their system the physical addiction is licked, the mental addiction takes longer and varies from person to person and also how well they work thier program. Through AA and my HP I no longer have the urge to drink.
BTW it was very scary, I actually gave up and simply decided to accept my fate rather then fight the alcohol anymore. It took death staring me in the face before I did something other then my own willpower.
In the early stages of alcoholism it is a lot easier to stop then later on, eventually one reachs the point I did, you have to drink to be normal, not to be drunk. Once someone like I was does get it all out of their system the physical addiction is licked, the mental addiction takes longer and varies from person to person and also how well they work thier program. Through AA and my HP I no longer have the urge to drink.
BTW it was very scary, I actually gave up and simply decided to accept my fate rather then fight the alcohol anymore. It took death staring me in the face before I did something other then my own willpower.
Rinnie's Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pylesville Maryland
Posts: 1,273
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Steve I am not sure how old you are or how long you have been sober, but I am 53, I was 52 before I finally admitted that alcohol had me whipped and got some help via de-tox and then AA. I will not lie, I am envious of those who realize at a much younger age then I did that they have a problem with alcohol.
I look back on all the signs I had that I was an alcohlic that I simply ignored until after 30 years of drinking I had reached the point of not being able to stop drinking, I had to drink! My 4 oldest kids were raised during those years, my twins went through the last 14 years of it, towards the end it was very bad for them.
Hind sight is 20/20, all I can do now is stay sober and be the best father and husband I can be, I can not erase the past, nor do I want to forget it. I also do not want my kids to forget it either, alcoholism is genetic and I want all my kids to not only remember me when I drank and the harm I did, but also be very aware of the early signs of the disease to where maybe they will if they have it, stop drinking before they screw things up like I did.
I look back on all the signs I had that I was an alcohlic that I simply ignored until after 30 years of drinking I had reached the point of not being able to stop drinking, I had to drink! My 4 oldest kids were raised during those years, my twins went through the last 14 years of it, towards the end it was very bad for them.
Hind sight is 20/20, all I can do now is stay sober and be the best father and husband I can be, I can not erase the past, nor do I want to forget it. I also do not want my kids to forget it either, alcoholism is genetic and I want all my kids to not only remember me when I drank and the harm I did, but also be very aware of the early signs of the disease to where maybe they will if they have it, stop drinking before they screw things up like I did.
I'm close to your age, I'll be 52 next month. I started drinking wine, Boones Farm, Strawberry Hill, btw, when I was 15 years old. An older friend would buy it for me. Even starting out, I never sipped, I guzzled. I never drank socially. I drank to get drunk, period. Later on, beer was always my alcohol of choice...
I have never gotten a DUI, lost my job, lost my health, lost my family or any of the other nightmares I know happens to alcoholics. I knew one thing for sure though. If I didn't get a handle on my drinking, it would not be long before all of the above would happen...
I don't have the answer as to why some people come to realize what alcohol has in store for them before it happens and some people never do. I do know that its a cunning disease and a very patient disease laying in wait for years and years if need be...
I quit drinking in 1990 - 2000. I even chaired an AA meeting for 2 years. I started back drinking wine in 2000 even though I knew deep down that it would lead me back to regular drinking and all the fights with my wife and hang overs that go along with excess drinking. That is the insanity of this disease. I was spiraling downward just like I was prior to 1990. Of course it took me six years to do something about it...
So, like I said, its not the amount your drink, or the trouble you get in. This is not a contest where you have to try to better or outdo someone else. Damn it, if drinking is affecting your quality of life and your families trust in you, your an alcoholic, plain and simple...
I wish there was a simple litmus test where we could all pee on a piece of paper and say, yep I'm an alcoholic all right. Its just not that simple...
One day at a time.
Steve
HopeInFaith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 62
Thankyou Taz, Steve - for sharing. There's a part of me that thinks about whether I'm making a big deal out of nothing...but when I think about the experiences I've had thus far - and read the posts from your experiences - it helps me see that this isn't something that will go away - or 'get better'...I'm 30....when I was in my early 20s I got away with thinking I was 'normal'...but I was never normal. And although I could still be considered 'normal' depending on the crowd I associate myself with - I know something's not right...and I don't want to spend the next years spinning my wheels in reverse!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Our so-called "bottoms" will seperate us if we let them.
When I was fairly new I met a man in AA who asked me a question no one had ever asked me in AA. He asked me the question "what makes you believe you are an alcoholic?" You've probably heard that AA will ruin your drinking. Well, this man ruined my attachment to my drunkalogue, the drama that doesn't join me to others in AA, but actually seperates me. Did you know AA is one of the only places I know of where the sicker you are the more prestige you have?
Any way, he asked me why I thought I was alcoholic and I ran through this litany of drama. I said "I've been to jail," and he replied "well, there are people in AA that have never been to jail, does that mean they are not alcoholic?" I said "well I've been to treatment four times," to which he replied "What about those of us who have never been to treatment. Does that mean we're not?" Then he added that there are people who can drink you or I under the table, get in trouble, get DUI's, go to jail, go to treatment, go to AA, and they are about as alcoholic as this table. Why do you think you're alcoholic?" And I rattled off some more drama.
Then he asked me what happened when I drink alcohol. Could I control the amount I took once I started? Could I stay away from it when necessary? Does life get better when I stop drinking, or does it get worse?
Then he talked to me about his alcoholism, about planning to have a few drinks and not being able to make it home, and how baffled he was. About knowing he needed to stop for good, but being unable to. About the soul-sickness, the loneliness, the fear, the guilt & remorse. About what it's like at 3 am when the booze doesn't work anymore.
If you can identify with the above, I have an answer fior you. I can show you precisely how I've recovered. You. never have to drink alcohol again in your life. There is no promise of a pain free life, but you won't have to hurt the way you've been hurting. I've been accused of being arrogant for making such statements, but it's true.
I'm just an alcoholic, albiet one who has recovered. And I know, phlex, that you can find some of those in your part of the world. Welcome home.
Jim
When I was fairly new I met a man in AA who asked me a question no one had ever asked me in AA. He asked me the question "what makes you believe you are an alcoholic?" You've probably heard that AA will ruin your drinking. Well, this man ruined my attachment to my drunkalogue, the drama that doesn't join me to others in AA, but actually seperates me. Did you know AA is one of the only places I know of where the sicker you are the more prestige you have?
Any way, he asked me why I thought I was alcoholic and I ran through this litany of drama. I said "I've been to jail," and he replied "well, there are people in AA that have never been to jail, does that mean they are not alcoholic?" I said "well I've been to treatment four times," to which he replied "What about those of us who have never been to treatment. Does that mean we're not?" Then he added that there are people who can drink you or I under the table, get in trouble, get DUI's, go to jail, go to treatment, go to AA, and they are about as alcoholic as this table. Why do you think you're alcoholic?" And I rattled off some more drama.
Then he asked me what happened when I drink alcohol. Could I control the amount I took once I started? Could I stay away from it when necessary? Does life get better when I stop drinking, or does it get worse?
Then he talked to me about his alcoholism, about planning to have a few drinks and not being able to make it home, and how baffled he was. About knowing he needed to stop for good, but being unable to. About the soul-sickness, the loneliness, the fear, the guilt & remorse. About what it's like at 3 am when the booze doesn't work anymore.
If you can identify with the above, I have an answer fior you. I can show you precisely how I've recovered. You. never have to drink alcohol again in your life. There is no promise of a pain free life, but you won't have to hurt the way you've been hurting. I've been accused of being arrogant for making such statements, but it's true.
I'm just an alcoholic, albiet one who has recovered. And I know, phlex, that you can find some of those in your part of the world. Welcome home.
Jim
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 27
I know exactly what Phlex is saying. It's like someone with stage 4 cancer listening to someone with stage 1 cancer I don't know what posters he's talking about because I haven't been keeping up. I did come here for a couple of months at the first of the year and their were some pretty silly posters. When you're on a dry drunk for a month solid and go on a two week whiskey drunk, come too covered in urine and shaking like a jackhammer. And the first thing you think is Dam I feel better. You kinda know it's a disease then. Don't need a book to tell you that. Somebody in their early 20s sober in AA 6 years ? Their disease and mine are in different hemispheres.
I remember a post at the first of the year something like " Whats the worst thing you've done drunk" Something like that. And this girl says she got drunk and fell up against a plastic reindeer in someones yard and knocked it over. God I hope she got help. Phlex, I'm no holyroller or anything but God can cure you. He cured me. I'm a comepletly different person. Ain't no drug or drink can compare to the Holy Spirit. It gives you peace and understanding. Drinking will kill you Phlex. I've lost two good friends over the Summer. Get 6 months under your belt and you'll see things much more clearly. There's books that can help you if you don't like meetings. Work on yourself. I'll have a year next month. The difference is night and day. Phlex if I can do it. Anybody can. God still works miracles.
I remember a post at the first of the year something like " Whats the worst thing you've done drunk" Something like that. And this girl says she got drunk and fell up against a plastic reindeer in someones yard and knocked it over. God I hope she got help. Phlex, I'm no holyroller or anything but God can cure you. He cured me. I'm a comepletly different person. Ain't no drug or drink can compare to the Holy Spirit. It gives you peace and understanding. Drinking will kill you Phlex. I've lost two good friends over the Summer. Get 6 months under your belt and you'll see things much more clearly. There's books that can help you if you don't like meetings. Work on yourself. I'll have a year next month. The difference is night and day. Phlex if I can do it. Anybody can. God still works miracles.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: S.E. Mich.
Posts: 1,433
(Phlex hasn't logged in since he started this thread.)
But when you do come back, while you are absolutely welcome here, I wonder why are you here? Are you ready to start stopping yourself?
One thing that helped me, was when I heard, try to relate/indentify, rather than compare.
But when you do come back, while you are absolutely welcome here, I wonder why are you here? Are you ready to start stopping yourself?
One thing that helped me, was when I heard, try to relate/indentify, rather than compare.
HopeInFaith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 62
I just want to say how much I appreciated jimhere's post. One of the thoughts I've struggled with is really admiting I'm an alcoholic...because I don't have the drunkalogue like some others do...I wouldn't measure up in a face off with a lot of people who do call themselves alcoholics...BUT, I do feel the hopelessness...I do feel the shame the next day, the unbelieveable shame...and confusion over how it happened...AGAIN. How I had no control over what my evening was going to look like once I started drinking...
My brother drinks almost every night. He's always drank way more than everyone else...seems to have an extremely high tolerance. I've watched his drinking progress, more often - more consumed, but yet he still keeps a good career as a VP of a bank, and I'm not sure if he feels any guilt about his drinking - it doesn't seem like he does. I can't ask him about his drinking because he gets very defensive about it. He's since given it up for a while since the last drinking episode ended up with him in jail for putting his hands on his girlfriend...
I wonder what makes me an alcoholic and him not...the fact that I admit it?
My brother drinks almost every night. He's always drank way more than everyone else...seems to have an extremely high tolerance. I've watched his drinking progress, more often - more consumed, but yet he still keeps a good career as a VP of a bank, and I'm not sure if he feels any guilt about his drinking - it doesn't seem like he does. I can't ask him about his drinking because he gets very defensive about it. He's since given it up for a while since the last drinking episode ended up with him in jail for putting his hands on his girlfriend...
I wonder what makes me an alcoholic and him not...the fact that I admit it?
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