Jimz

After realizing I was an alcoholic and that I couldn't do it alone, I found this forum (and subsequently have linked with other online groups and discussion forums). I was able to enter a chat room (my first experience with that, too) last evening during a period of almost unbearable craving and had a wonderful chat with people as wide spread as Scotland and even joked around enough I started smiling -- finally logging off and folding laundry before bed.

I know it's going to continue to be difficult, but I don't feel shakey today -- and already feel better in general. With the support already shown, I know I will be able to continue "one day at a time." (Last night it was "a half-hour at a time" but it still worked!!).

Online seems to be just perfect for me at this point. I'll "worry" about the rest when the time comes. I am just about always near a computer, so the online support is there, easily acccessible 24/7. What a blessing!!!

Cheers -- and thanks so much.

Jim

phoenix

Congrats on the three days and keep coming back

phoenix

Peter

Great work on your 3 days sober Jim.Look forward to hearing a lot more from you.

Peter.

marilyn s

Hi Jim,
I've been on these boards alot this morning, mostly the newcomers board, because I've been very shakey the last few days. I had 8 months sober, went through a six month out patient recovery program which I loved, then tried continuing on my own without meetings, and have been relapsing every two to three weeks the last three months. I have 20 days sober right now and I'm hanging onto that by the skin of my teeth.
I was trying to talk myself out of going to a meeting this morning even though I knew it was what I really needed. I told myself, I need to look for a job. I need to do my dishes, read the paper, make a Dr. appointment, take a shower, water my plants etc. Then finally the voice of reason kicked in and said " what you REALLY need to do is stay sober and go to the meeting." So I did, and I spoke at the meeting which is usually hard for me to do at that one because it's big, and I usually only talk at the womens groups. I told them what was going on with me, how I was depressed about my difficult job hunt, and how much I wanted to buy a big bottle of wine and stay in bed and watch Dr Phil and Montel all day and hide. So many people came up to talk to me afterwards, and I think I may have found a sponser. I'm still feeling shakey, and I still need to find a job, wash my dishes, get a Dr. appointment and stay sober. If I drink I won't do any of the things I need to do, and it opens the door to misery. I guess I just wanted to say that this is a bumpy ride, and grab all of the help you can get. Good luck.

Doug

Way to go Jim! 1/2 hour at a time, 5 minutes at a time, whatever it takes. I couldn't do it alone, and was happy to find out I didn't have to. Don't give up on those face to face meetings, and keep coming back.

Jimz

I believe I have found someone to direct me to a meeting in Manhattan this weekend.

I did an online "live" discussion group studying the Big Book last evening using PalTalk and microphone at home which was good, and I did learn a lot -- so I am making progress.

I actually had the thought today that it will be great to wake up this Sunday morning for church and not be so hung over every movement hurts. Now I need to remember it on Saturday night!! But I'll worry about that when Saturday comes around. Now I think about today.

Thanks for the support. And now it's day 4 and some not unpleasant tasks to keep me busy plus another on-line meeting this evening.

Physically am ok today. Craving is there fairly steadily but not always quite so strong and not shakey or feeling "odd". This has been the worst withdrawal I have yet experienced (though certainly not serious medically), and I understand they continue to get worse (I just read a journal article on the subject). Reinforces the AA statement that Alcoholism is a progressive disease.

Jim

SobrietyFirst

Hi Jim,

Very Nice Work on your first few days, and welcome to AA. You are indeed on a very broad highway. Many there are who have been where you are, and who have found this solution.

And make no mistake...Ther Is a Solution.

I encourage you to go out and about to AA meetings and meet with other alcoholics face to face, as you are beginning to do. As intimidating as that might seem, you will find things there with others in your midst that you won't get here.

You'll see the solution at work in others...there really is no substitue for looking another in the eyes and seeing a brightness, kindness, warmth and compassion that is the result of living this way of life day by day. You'll see many who have been where you are and who will without a doubt identify with you, and perhaps more importantly, you will be able to idenfity with them as well.

The obsession for a drink is not unusual at all, particularly in the early days. Once you talk to others up there at meetings, you'll see what I mean. I know my obsession to contniue drinking was rather persistent, and I can also tell you that it does diminish over time, becoming practically non-existant.

Blessings and let me know how your meeting went :-)

Jimz

Thanks for all the support. Things are actually going quite well, much better than I even hoped they would.