Retep

I'm a new member facing up to the fact I have a drinking problem, and the more I think about it might be an alcoholic.

What should I tell people when they ask why I'm not drinking? Should I tell people the truth?

Do I have to admit to people I have a problem?

Tamerua

No need to say anything. Or, the truth, that you quit for your health.

artsoul

Welcome Retep!

I think it's up to you to decide what you want to tell people. I didn't want anyone to know about my drinking, so I hid it pretty well. Also, I didn't tell anyone about my sobriety for quite a while... I wanted to be sure that could stay sober. (Generally speaking, now that I've been sober a while, I don't tell many people about my past drinking, but it also doesn't bother me now if people know I'm in recovery).

On the other hand, telling the right people is a good thing......I do think we need support/help in order to stop drinking. Most of us can't do it alone. Glad you're here - this is a great place to start!

Strength11

Whatever you feel comfortable with. I am going through the same type of thing. I am new to sobriety, 55 days in. It really is no one's business unless you want them to know.

Jsober

No, they don't need to know your whole story. Just that you don't drink or that you are not drinking tonight. That is something I worried about too, but as time goes by it becomes less of a big deal and most people really don't care.

Olive1

I don't tell anyone any thing.
But if anyone ever asks, I tell them I have used up my lifetime quota.

nandm

That is a good question and one that is still relevant to me after a few years of sobriety. What I do is give the amount of information that is relevant to the person or situation at hand. For example; close friends, people I trust, know my story and why I don't drink but people that I do not know well I don't necessarily tell that I am an alcoholic. But it may be easier for me than for some as I have not run into people who have tried to push me to drink. People that have known me have already seen the damage my drinking precipitated in my life so they don't have trouble understanding that I should not be drinking and do not push me, in fact, many have been just the opposite. I have had a problem with my normal drinking friends being afraid to drink around me. Over the years though they have learned that just because they have a drink does not mean I want one or will drink. But again they don't drink alcoholically so it makes it easier on me. They simply have an occasional after dinner drink or a glass of wine with dinner. I guess the simple answer is you don't owe anyone an explanation. Just a simple I don't want a drink right now should suffice. If it doesn't then maybe they are not healthy people for you to be around. I do have to say I am not ashamed of being an alcoholic but I also feel I have a right to some privacy in my life and it does not have to be an open book to acquaintances and strangers.

bigsombrero

"I'm giving up drinking for the next few weeks, trying to lose a few pounds".
"I have a big week at work//school coming up, laying off the drink for a while".
"Been drinking too much lately, I'm going to take a break for a while and clear my head".

Those kind of things have worked for me in social settings - when I'm not really in the mood to explain my disease, or if it's with casual acquaintances. That seems to be enough to satisfy someone's passing curiousness.

Or you could just say "I'm a raging alcoholic who is prone to wild mood swings and unpredictable criminal tendencies when under the influence". That also gets people off your back pretty quick

OneLessLonely

I told people for a little while that I was on a health kick. As time went on and I still wasn't drinking, I told some people I felt so great not drinking that I just haven't wanted to anymore. I've told a very select few that I saw myself heading toward a drinking problem and decided to nip it.
I now know I don't owe anyone any explanation, but I remember how raw and anxious it felt the first many times it came up. You can also say you're on medication or just getting over an illness.

totfit

I just tell folks that it stopped agreeing with me or that I had side effects. Both are true statements. For many though I am pretty candid. It is not a weakness after all, just a difference in body chemistry.

oak

Welcome Retep!

I tell different people different things- depending on how well I know them and what relationship I have with them. It does make me nervous sometimes when I know the issue might come up.

It is completely okay to make something up or give a vague answer. I think it helps to plan ahead of time what you will say.

spent31

I just tell people that I dont drink and that is usually enough. No questions asked. I new a guy that would tell people that he was allergic and would wake up in spots. Spots like Kansas City, Omaha, Dallas, etc.

Talana

I have found that honesty is always the best policy.

BrokenBottles

I have a couple of friends who are alcoholics and don't drink. Honestly, all they've ever said (until they felt like opening up more) was "I don't drink."

Sure, I thought it was weird, but I didn't feel the need to ask anything else about it.

I also have a couple of friends who don't drink and aren't alcoholics at all. Some people don't like alcohol or just don't want to use it for whatever reason. It's really not anyone's business.

Taking5

In my experience, non alcoholics don't give a crap if you're drinking or not. Other alcoholics however did/do feel threatened by my quitting drinking - I believe it made them look at their own drinking habits that they aren't really ready to face yet.

DarkDays

Say you do not drink ad them ask if they fancy doing some crack.

DarkDays

Say you do not drink and then ask if they fancy doing some crack.

Easyrider

What do you do if they say yes? XD

BikerAcct

This is very true. I have a couple of good friends I've known all my life. Neither has ever drank, or, they drink very very seldom. When I quit drinking (all of 53 days now) the couple of times I've seen them, they didn't even notice I didn't have a beer. Whereas the other drinkers I know, picked up on it right away and asked what was up with me not having a beer. (It's cookout season so I tend to see folks more now)

Tell them as much or as little as you feel you need to. Those that aren't alcoholics, won't even follow up on your "no thanks." They'll think nothing of it, and move on.

.

visch1

No thank you is the simplest answer for me. I've never had that response questioned bur might say that I'm allergic to alcohol and that ends it. I've asked people who are concerned with the topic that if someone offered them a cigarette and they don't smoke would they be concerned with saying no thanks. BE WELL