Why did I become an alcoholic? Perhaps the following litany will help explain. I didn't write it, but the anonymous author obviously knew what he was talking about:

I drank because I had the right, and everything in my life went wrong.
I drank to help me cope, and I became a failure.
I drank to feel numb and felt guilt.
I drank to sleep and awoke un-rested and hung-over.
I drank to feel comfortable socially and became anti-social, a recluse.
I drank to stimulate my intellect and suffered blackouts.
I drank to be sophisticated and became obnoxious.
I drank to be accepted and ended up scorned.
I drank to forget and became haunted by my past.
I drank because I was thirsty, and a thousand drinks didn't quench my obsession for more.
I drank to escape myself, but I always ended up back alone, stuck with me.
I drank because I hated God.
After much struggle, I understood.

Because, because.

I have nothing more to say about because. My focus right now is about being sober for today. Being the best I can for today. I cannot change even one second of the past. The past is an exercise in futility