I feel like ****!
Recovering perpetual kid...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Layton Utah
Posts: 219
I feel like ****!
I really feel like ****, physically and emotionally... I got a call at work tonight that my Uncle died. Today is day 40 being clean and sober, but I have to admit, the thought of stopping by the store, buying a case of brew and just getting totally **** faced did cross my mind... I didn't, I'm at home and am just going to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. If I feel this bad tomorrow though, I won't be going to work. I know I need to grieve, but my first and formost concern is staying clean and sober...
Hang loose, Doc.
Hang loose, Doc.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Sorry to read of your loss.
Good choice on not drinking. As we both know, it solves nothing.
Your uncle will be removed from memory but so won't the happy memories if you drink.
Hold on to the happy memories and know that each day things will feel better.
When my mother passed away, I stayed home day one, went to work day two, and stayed home day three. Figured if I stayed busy, I wouldn't allow my thoughts to get the best of me. Small shop and the boss was a jerk. The three days allowed was not given because I went in on day two.
Still though...the time I needed I took and the money issue didn't matter. His attitude I needed to deal with and that helped me grow.
Take what time you need and know that things work out.
Good choice on not drinking. As we both know, it solves nothing.
Your uncle will be removed from memory but so won't the happy memories if you drink.
Hold on to the happy memories and know that each day things will feel better.
When my mother passed away, I stayed home day one, went to work day two, and stayed home day three. Figured if I stayed busy, I wouldn't allow my thoughts to get the best of me. Small shop and the boss was a jerk. The three days allowed was not given because I went in on day two.
Still though...the time I needed I took and the money issue didn't matter. His attitude I needed to deal with and that helped me grow.
Take what time you need and know that things work out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
Sorry about your uncle. Impressed you were able to control yourself. Life can really makes us want to grab a drink. So proud you didn't and your Uncle is probably watching you and proud of you too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 527
I'm so sorry for your loss, Doc. (((((Hugs))))) You did it - you just went through a major life crisis without having a drink. That's awesome. You DID IT. You can keep on doing it. You are an inspiration to me.
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
Recovering perpetual kid...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Layton Utah
Posts: 219
Thanks everyone... I woke up today grateful, still bummed but grateful all the same. I was clean, sober and no hangover! I can face the day with a clear head and conscience. Even if I had got FUBAR last night, Uncle Bill would still be gone, it's times like this I rely upon the Serentiy Prayer. It also drives home the importance of planning my life as if I am going to live to be 100 years old, but living each day to the fullest as if it were my last day upon the earth... Hang loose, Doc.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 13
Bereavement is one of the hardest relapse triggers, no doubt about it. Sounds like you handled it like a pro! But you said it right, the feelings of loss wouldn't have been washed away by the drink, they'd be there just as raw in the morning - in fact probably twice as raw with a hangover on top! Your uncle would be proud of you.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I'm sorry about your loss. I know this is a difficult time for you. I'm very proud of you for not diving into that case of beer. That is a great accomplishment. Stay strong, there will be more sad days ahead. Try to stay one step ahead of the game. Prayers for you and your family...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Doc-
You are doing very well to be clean and sober. Real serenity is peace in the face of adversity. You are taking life on life's terms, and it just shows that you are on the right track in your recovery. You encourage others by staying sober, and you're being a good example for me.
May God bless you,
chip
You are doing very well to be clean and sober. Real serenity is peace in the face of adversity. You are taking life on life's terms, and it just shows that you are on the right track in your recovery. You encourage others by staying sober, and you're being a good example for me.
May God bless you,
chip
Recovering perpetual kid...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Layton Utah
Posts: 219
Thanks Chip and everyone... The encouragement and prayers etc. are truly appreciated. My Uncle's funeral is on Tuesday, but I don't think I'll be able to go. First we are in a crunch at work, with a staffing shortage. Second, I don't have my license, and don't want my family to know about my relapse and the DUI... They tend to be very judgemental and gossips...
I really hate funerals anyway. When I go, I want to be cremated, no viewing or sobbing funeral. A memorial service with pictures of me and my loved ones in better days, and with all the money that was saved, throw one heck of a party/wake! My thought is, "Don't grieve for me, I've gone on to a better place!" JMHO...
Hang loose, Doc.
I really hate funerals anyway. When I go, I want to be cremated, no viewing or sobbing funeral. A memorial service with pictures of me and my loved ones in better days, and with all the money that was saved, throw one heck of a party/wake! My thought is, "Don't grieve for me, I've gone on to a better place!" JMHO...
Hang loose, Doc.
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