Irish Virus

How fast was it from the time you started to drink again until you reached
the point when you originally stopped?

Did all it take was one drink for that unbearable craving to return? Or did it
take a couple of weeks of boozing it up to hit bottom again?

The progression of alcoholism is one area that amazes me. It's downright
scary as well. Thanks for any replies.

CarolD

I continued to relapse for 4 years!
I was up and down in recovery like a damn Yo-Yo.

Usually 3 days.


1 drink tasted horrible, 2 was passable
3 drinks would activate my cravings.

Gee I had not thought of that for years!!

Interesting topic IV Thanks!

Mongo

Hi IV

Yep, I relapsed many times..

Seems to me that as soon as I made the decision to break my abstinence, that was it. I pretty much was right back where I started. I didn't drink for enjoyment it seemed, I drank till I was thoroughly drunk. It was like I wasn't kidding myself, I either drank or I didn't. The decision to take that first drink always sent me back to where I was. The first drink didn't matter, there would be many more.

Interestingly, when I again abstained, I was right back into full blown withdrawal. No hangovers for me anymore, just 5 days of shaking, sweating, sick discomfort.

This makes me conclude that for me deciding to drink again would put me exactly back to where I was before, no in between for me, no moderation. I really don't think I could survive another withdrawal, as each one got progressively worse.

So, there it is for me. I like where I am now, and I know where I could be if I drink again. Like a house of cards, progressively bigger and more magnificent, but one card out of place and the structure topples.

Sorry to be so dark, but this is how I feel, and from past experience, what I know would happen to me if...

On the bright side, abstinence is agreeing with me and I feel stronger every day. I've worked very hard on this period of non-drinking, and will continue to work very hard. It's getting better with each day that passes.

Good luck and keep well.


Ron

BuDoc

I got totally **** faced the first night drinking after more than 10 years of being clean and sober, and I was off to hell in a handbasket straight away after that...

Hang loose, Doc.

Latte

I drank a bottle of wine and three beers, but didn't drink after that. That was about five months ago. I haven't gone back there. I always was a binge drinker.

It's a day at a time. I have to remember that. I don't beat myself up..I just keep on going.

j'ade d'arcy

In September of 2004, I entered the hospital for detox, stayed sober for the couple of weeks that I spent there. Was the longest stretch of sobriety that I have had since I started drinking. Thought that everything would be fine and that I would just be released from the hospital and then play the waiting game at home for a month until my spot opened up in rehab.

I was released on a Saturday evening. Called a cab, stopped by the vendor and drank myself into a bender that ended with me in the tank.

The first sip of beer after a period of abstaining was EXTREMELY compelling. It was like I could feel it flowing through my veins. The intense craving was back instantly. When I was picked up by my then boyfriend at the drunk tank, wearing clothes that were donated because mine were unwearable, sitting in the soup kitchen drinking coffee from a small styrofoam cup with others that had either been released from the drunk tank or were using the homeless shelter that is in the same building....I thought about how much of a grip alcoholism had on me. Two days out of detox and there I am.....bottom....again.

Moreover, the fact that I begged my then boyfriend to stop at the vendor on the way home...just so that I could take the edge off......and I'm talking begging.....pleading and shaking and crying.....totally at the mercy of my own addiction. Totally out of control. Bruised, dirty, ashamed....sick of myself....and still wanting more booze.

So or me...it was the first sip of alcohol....the time leading up to that first sip....that was me still in denial, lying to myself that I can handle it.....but the first sip is what leads me to instant bottom.

Steve58

Great thread, IV, I am always interested how my own reactions to alcohol compare.

For me, a one day relapse, usually just a Hang over, two days, the same, after that, it's withdrawal to some degree or another. My last go-round was Labor day, drank almost every night leading up to it, then really went down hill on the weekend, started mid-morning sun & monday, WD was the worst to date that I remember. About soaked the bed, worse the second night than the first.

Most of the summer, I limited myself to the weekends, usually fri & sat, and not real bad, and could get throught the next two weeks. Last few weeks of the summer, went down hill again, and here I am.

Thats me, but the more I read, the more I know it will probably get worse the next time.

Love to all!
S

BuDoc

Steve, there doesn't have to be a next time...

Hang loose, Doc.

hotwingeatter

The last time I relapsed I went out and had a beer with the guys, tasted like crap. that was the only one I wanted. For a couple weeks I went out for a beer or 2 untill I got my first ime being drunk it was all down hill from there. I was on a binge that lasted me a year. I woke up in the mornings and finished the bottle from the night befor just to get going. In that year I stopped everything I worked for and lost many friends. So I guess for me is is when I would deside to get drunk that set me off.

earlybird

Irish,....please tell me this isnt research for an up-coming "project".

I only say that because I know of three different people who asked almost the same questions you did here,...only to find out that they made it sound like they were just making conversation or just 'wondering', but, really wanted to drink again and wanted to see how much time they had before it got REAL bad again. Thats not what you're doing,..............right?

AndrewBeen

Early,
Good question. Irish however seems to have posted a good bit for over a year and said "For a year and a half it was literally 24/7 drinking for me. Just making it to the store to buy booze was a major victory for me. Sorry to give my drunk-a-log.." so probably legit...

Irish Virus

In a sense, it is kind of a research project. The more I can learn about this disease, the better off I am.

The question that I asked isn't the kind you can ask someone at an
AA meeting who just relapsed in my opinion. But here on the internet, it's
a good forum to share experiences if you feel like it.

Am I curious as how to much time I would have before it got REAL bad?
Of course I am. That's why I asked. And the replies I received served as
a reminder that it's not a good idea to play in traffic again.

Stobert

For me, when I relapsed in 2003 it took about two days.

justsomeguy

I've only tried to quit by myself, and routinely make it 1-3 weeks, but Carols comments are exactly what I went through.. but why the hell do we keep drinking when the first one back tastes horrible. ugh.

chip

Hey Irish,
I havn't relapsed yet, but reading this is helpful to me. It's good encouragement not to "play in traffic".
chip

BuDoc

That and, "Don't run with scissors!!!"

Hang loose, Doc.