ugh- i've gone too far
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
When I was newly sober I would leave work at
10 p.m. tired lonely and hungry.
I worked at 15th & L NW
lived at 14th & N NW
Yes, I too lived in D.C.
I had to walk by all sorts of places serving
alcohol..and I knew each well...
I felt sooo sad that I no longer was a drinker!
So,,I started to grab a cab to stay out of temptation.
I would then call other AA members for support.
Congratulations on your sober days!
10 p.m. tired lonely and hungry.
I worked at 15th & L NW
lived at 14th & N NW
Yes, I too lived in D.C.
I had to walk by all sorts of places serving
alcohol..and I knew each well...
I felt sooo sad that I no longer was a drinker!
So,,I started to grab a cab to stay out of temptation.
I would then call other AA members for support.
Congratulations on your sober days!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: QUEENS, NY
Posts: 200
Hello Girlindc,
I just wanted to say hi and congratulations, you are doing great!
I too found it difficult to go past bars and liquor stores that I used to go to, it gets easier though, doesn't bother me at all now.
Keep up the good work
Love, Rose
I just wanted to say hi and congratulations, you are doing great!
I too found it difficult to go past bars and liquor stores that I used to go to, it gets easier though, doesn't bother me at all now.
Keep up the good work
Love, Rose
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by girlindc
3rd day down, and i'm sober, still 
went to a meeting @8:30 and by the time i got home, liquor stores were closed.
it seems the later the meeting is (around 7-8 or so), the better for me.
surprising i made it, seeing as how stressed i got at work today, and felt a ton of anger- interestingly enough the meeting i went to was a discussion of the 10th step, and anger.
it kinda seems the meetings i go to, always have something i can relate to, even if it's not directly related to me- if that makes sense- kinda like a horoscope- like i can always seem to apply whatever is going on in the meeting to something that is going on with me, or what i'm feeling.
prob gonna go to another meeting tomorrow too.
really want to call up some of the people i met the other night, but also very nervous about it too. i have really horrible social anxiety, but at the same time, want to meet some people in the program.
okay- well just wanted to type that out even if no one's reading.
i guess i'm kinda using this as a diary of sorts.
peace out
went to a meeting @8:30 and by the time i got home, liquor stores were closed.
it seems the later the meeting is (around 7-8 or so), the better for me.
surprising i made it, seeing as how stressed i got at work today, and felt a ton of anger- interestingly enough the meeting i went to was a discussion of the 10th step, and anger.
it kinda seems the meetings i go to, always have something i can relate to, even if it's not directly related to me- if that makes sense- kinda like a horoscope- like i can always seem to apply whatever is going on in the meeting to something that is going on with me, or what i'm feeling.
prob gonna go to another meeting tomorrow too.
really want to call up some of the people i met the other night, but also very nervous about it too. i have really horrible social anxiety, but at the same time, want to meet some people in the program.
okay- well just wanted to type that out even if no one's reading.
i guess i'm kinda using this as a diary of sorts.
peace out
You are doing FANTASTIC!! BRAVO!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
THANK you ALL for your awesome posts but i have to post with something NOT so great: xxxxxxx
omg i don't know what to do with my self right now.
day 4 here
just went to a meeting, and had such bad anxiety i had to leave 1/2 way through. the anxiety carried on so much when i left that i was EXTREMELY tempted to walk into a nearby bar.
like EXTREMELY
but i passed it. okay good for me right.
THEN- and seriously WHEN THE xxx does this EVER happen??
some random guy on the street (and cute no less!) stops me and asks me if i want to go to a party!
like who the hell does that???
and that's not the first time it's happened- after my day 1 meeting, on my walk home some other guy stopped me and asked me if i wanted to go party
"it's labor day weekend", he said "come on"
okay- is this a joke or what? am i being seriously tested here, because it f*cking FEELS like it, and it's KILLING every cell in my being.
i am seriously hurting, BAD right now.
like i thought sobriety was supposed to feel good, because we weren't drinking anymore?
what the hell. i seriously don't know what's worse right now, the pain i feel sober, or the pain i feel after drinking.
someone please freakin kill me already.
p.s. still sober. but hurting.
omg i don't know what to do with my self right now.
day 4 here
just went to a meeting, and had such bad anxiety i had to leave 1/2 way through. the anxiety carried on so much when i left that i was EXTREMELY tempted to walk into a nearby bar.
like EXTREMELY
but i passed it. okay good for me right.
THEN- and seriously WHEN THE xxx does this EVER happen??
some random guy on the street (and cute no less!) stops me and asks me if i want to go to a party!
like who the hell does that???
and that's not the first time it's happened- after my day 1 meeting, on my walk home some other guy stopped me and asked me if i wanted to go party
"it's labor day weekend", he said "come on"
okay- is this a joke or what? am i being seriously tested here, because it f*cking FEELS like it, and it's KILLING every cell in my being.
i am seriously hurting, BAD right now.
like i thought sobriety was supposed to feel good, because we weren't drinking anymore?
what the hell. i seriously don't know what's worse right now, the pain i feel sober, or the pain i feel after drinking.
someone please freakin kill me already.
p.s. still sober. but hurting.
Last edited by CarolD; 09-06-2006 at 11:28 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by CarolD
I worked at 15th & L NW
lived at 14th & N NW
Yes, I too lived in D.C.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
UPDATE:
sorry for screaming in my last post lol
well about 10 till 10 i was feelin it so bad i decided i had 2 choices: go get a drink, or call one of the numbers someone gave me at the meeting i went to a few days ago.
well i did it. i called. and i was terrified because i HATE phones. i dont even answer the phone when my friends call.
i don't even talk to my b/f on the phone! how pathetic is that?
but i did it. i talked to her till after 10, when the liquor store closes.
she almost didn't remember me, but i guess she did, and was very very nice.
thank god.
i feel a little calmer now, but still can't sit still.
god. ugh.
sorry for all the posts guys just need to vent
sorry for screaming in my last post lol
well about 10 till 10 i was feelin it so bad i decided i had 2 choices: go get a drink, or call one of the numbers someone gave me at the meeting i went to a few days ago.
well i did it. i called. and i was terrified because i HATE phones. i dont even answer the phone when my friends call.
i don't even talk to my b/f on the phone! how pathetic is that?
but i did it. i talked to her till after 10, when the liquor store closes.
she almost didn't remember me, but i guess she did, and was very very nice.
thank god.
i feel a little calmer now, but still can't sit still.
god. ugh.
sorry for all the posts guys just need to vent
Last edited by CarolD; 09-06-2006 at 11:31 PM.
Dont EVER be sorry for posting!!!!! Thats why we are ALL here!!!! Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
wow! I am so incredibly impressed by your resolve to not drink and to use the tools of the program : REACHING OUT. You really inspire me right now.
You are doing great!!!!! Seriously!!
You are doing great!!!!! Seriously!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: clean
Posts: 12
I lived in DC too Grew up there. In SF, now. Moved from one party-town to the next and didn't miss a beat.
When I was new, I'd call women on the lists of numbers they gave me and say, "I don't know who you are but you gave me your number... I'm the fake blonde who cries all the time..."
My first sponsor had me call 3 different/new women every week. That really helped. It also forced me to ask for women's numbers during the meeting, even if it was the only thing I said. If a person doesn't answer, leave reasonably anonymous messages with your phone number. In my experience, addicts don't like to answer the phone, especially if they don't recognize the number
Grew up there. In SF, now. Moved from one party-town to the next and didn't miss a beat. When I was new, I'd call women on the lists of numbers they gave me and say, "I don't know who you are but you gave me your number... I'm the fake blonde who cries all the time..."
My first sponsor had me call 3 different/new women every week. That really helped. It also forced me to ask for women's numbers during the meeting, even if it was the only thing I said. If a person doesn't answer, leave reasonably anonymous messages with your phone number. In my experience, addicts don't like to answer the phone, especially if they don't recognize the number
Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere there is peace of mind
Posts: 210
Wow, you really were tested on that one, weren't you? 
And what did you do? You picked up the phone! That was HUGE!
Way to go! I'm doing the happy dance for you! But, since my pop-up blocker won't let me find the happy dance emoticon, I'm doing the happy jumping jacks instead
.
And what did you do? You picked up the phone! That was HUGE!
Way to go! I'm doing the happy dance for you! But, since my pop-up blocker won't let me find the happy dance emoticon, I'm doing the happy jumping jacks instead
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
Thanks for the posts all.
Headed to a meeting after work, and going to meet up with that one person I called the other night.
i'm surprised at how nice and real people are in AA. it's comforting.
i'm interested.. or, rather, not so interested in seeing how this weekend will progress without a drink. i'm not sure how long it's been since i didn't pick up a drink or bottle on a friday or sat night, even when i was staying in by myself.
sigh. i think it's going to be tough but hopefully i can get through it.
Headed to a meeting after work, and going to meet up with that one person I called the other night.
i'm surprised at how nice and real people are in AA. it's comforting.
i'm interested.. or, rather, not so interested in seeing how this weekend will progress without a drink. i'm not sure how long it's been since i didn't pick up a drink or bottle on a friday or sat night, even when i was staying in by myself.
sigh. i think it's going to be tough but hopefully i can get through it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
well yesterday marked 1 week of sobriety for me, and miraculously i made it through the weekend without picking up a drink!!!
i can't even begin to tell you how happy i was when i woke up at 9:30 AM on saturday, the sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day, and i WAS NOT HUNGOVER!
i was actually GIDDY. i couldn't believe it.
anyway, sat night and sun eve, were a little more difficult, but i made it to a meeting last night, so all is well. i'll tell ya, even the walk to and from the meetings i go to (about 40 min each way) just make me feel so worn out, i don't even feel like i want a drink by the time i get home lol.
anyway gonna hit up another meeting tonight and maybe grab some coffee with someone i met there.
so all i gotta say is so far so good. i just hope this lasts. for now it feels good. and autumn is my favorite season, and i'm looking forward to actually ENJOYING it... sober!
i can't even begin to tell you how happy i was when i woke up at 9:30 AM on saturday, the sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day, and i WAS NOT HUNGOVER!
i was actually GIDDY. i couldn't believe it.
anyway, sat night and sun eve, were a little more difficult, but i made it to a meeting last night, so all is well. i'll tell ya, even the walk to and from the meetings i go to (about 40 min each way) just make me feel so worn out, i don't even feel like i want a drink by the time i get home lol.
anyway gonna hit up another meeting tonight and maybe grab some coffee with someone i met there.
so all i gotta say is so far so good. i just hope this lasts. for now it feels good. and autumn is my favorite season, and i'm looking forward to actually ENJOYING it... sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: dc
Posts: 62
9 days.
and GOD do i want a drink. i would cut out my eye for a glass of wine. hell if i'm gonna cut out my eye, you better give me the whole bottle!
ugh. this sucks. constantly. thinking. about. alcohol.
and then i keep thinking. why the hell am i making such a big deal out of this? alcohol is not a necessity, why the hell do i keep obsessing? why is it SO HARD for me to just be like "i don't need a drink" and shrug it off, and move on?
but it keeps coming back.
i don't know what to do with myself. i know i can't drink though.
i would let myself down terribly if i stopped now.
sigh
/rant
and GOD do i want a drink. i would cut out my eye for a glass of wine. hell if i'm gonna cut out my eye, you better give me the whole bottle!
ugh. this sucks. constantly. thinking. about. alcohol.
and then i keep thinking. why the hell am i making such a big deal out of this? alcohol is not a necessity, why the hell do i keep obsessing? why is it SO HARD for me to just be like "i don't need a drink" and shrug it off, and move on?
but it keeps coming back.
i don't know what to do with myself. i know i can't drink though.
i would let myself down terribly if i stopped now.
sigh
/rant
Recovering perpetual kid...
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Layton Utah
Posts: 219
GIDC, hang in there... It gets better, I can relate to having a tough day day. I wish I could go home right now and just crawl into bed and hide from the world. Congrats on not drinking...
Hang loose, Doc.
Hang loose, Doc.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: clean
Posts: 12
Have you ever been clean for 30 days? Perhaps holding out just to see what happens... We know what it looks like to use, recovery is a whole new story.
Exercise helps me vent all my extra energy. I run A LOT.
Exercise helps me vent all my extra energy. I run A LOT.
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