PaperDolls

I do see the counselor on my own as well. She and I talked about it today that we both need to be seeing one on our own as well together.

I am going to tell her about this site. I will not tell her what the address is and I might consider changing my username.

DWI - today I am a mess. a big mess. I can't even work.

Done_With_It

Hang in there sweetie. I had a bad incident last week, It had me in tears, I so wanted to give up. When I got in my car, out of the blue some totally Random country song was playing, he kept singing, If your going through hell, Keep on going..... It made me laugh. I don't even know how the radio got to a country station.
But it's true, keep on going..... and things will get better.
Sending you lots of love and light sweetie..

Chy

Hi Paperdolls,
Geez, just read through this all and it made me feel like I was choking!

Want me to talk to her? LOL... it's ridiculous the way your living, hiding, being secret... I say tell her the utter truth of it all. Let her rant let her have a fit, let her be mad for days. When will you be done being her doormat is all I can say.

The girl is highly jealous, insecure and untrusting... what kind of relationship is that to be in? Sounds like she's got the choke collar nice and snug to me.

Cindi R

It sounds to me like she wants you to apologise and have regret and remorse for this....and to vow to never do it again.
Which you are unable to do as it's part of your recovery, you see that it's a healthy thing and you don't want to give it up

On a similar experience, I had...
my marriage was very sick & unhealthy...
We were addicts, using buddies, married 17 years...our addiction was taking us places that I didn't think was healthy and didn't want to go...
I should have just left him then...but instead I had an affair.
He found out. I apologised for hurting him. But, I didn't really regret that I'd had the affair...he knew that I wasn't genuinely remorseful...
I was looking for a way out of a bad situation...what I found was the courage to look outside the box of addiction...
Change was good for me...that guy's still my friend...it's been 11 years.
He is a "normie"...He opened my eyes to the fact that I could "save myself"....that I didn't need a prince on a white horse to come and rescue me, although that was what I was looking for when I started...
Honesty.....today, I don't have to worry about...
Today, I don't have to keep secrets.

best

The best I can tell you is found in prodigal's icon message.
When we do that, we are doing our best.

Done_With_It

How you doin Doll?

PaperDolls

Well, I've kept busy at work this afternoon so things haven't been too much on my mind but I'm not looking forward to going home tonight. I don't think I can handle any type of confrontation.

I'll make it. I have to. That's all I can do.



Thanks for stopping by Best. I'm not clear on what you mean by your message. Sorry.

BigSis

(((Doll)))) don't wear yourself "pre-fighting" a fight that may or may not happen. I call that "future tripping". Stay in the moment, and leave when you need to... even if it means stepping out tonight to go see a movie.

You are in charge of your life.... and you are a smart, beautiful, caring person who deserves the same in return.

((((doll))))

paulmh

Hiya

Wishing you both some peace and resolution.

Paul

miss communicat

((((doll))))

I also wish only the best for you. take very good care of yourself!

PaperDolls

Thank you. BigSis. I don't really believe some of those things you said about me but they are very nice.

Even though her and I are going through a really rough time we are still very much in love. I really think we've been dealing with it pretty well in our conversations together. I usually pretend that I'm not as stressed as I am but I told her today I feel like I'm going crazy and that I'm really sick.

Tomorrow at noon -- we'll see what happens.

Thank you all so much for listening to my whining.

PaperDolls

Our counseling session went well, I think. We're getting along well. We're going back for another appointment on Wednesday afternoon. I told her that I visit a site about recovery and depression and I'd like to keep it to myself. It was towards the end of the session. We still have a lot to talk about.

I know it's going to work out just fine.

Done_With_It

Good for you Doll! I am really very happy for you!
I hope it continues to just get better and better!

((Doll))

Pick-a-name

This sounds a bit familiar. As my AH's alcoholism, he kept (keeps) more and more things from me because he said I would "get mad if he told me"....HELLO! yes; probably true! so I understand how that goes.

About this site; perhaps you can say that you go to this forum to help with you recovery and depression;let her look at it (without telling her your user name?)

Good luck. Wanting to work it out is most of the battle. IMO

best

Ever watch a cat in a liter box *LOL*

Another way of saying the same thing...
Keeping my side of the street clean.
Worry about what I do right and wrong and let others worry about their own problems.
Don't worry about the problems of others.

PaperDolls

This is so much easier to say then to actually do, isn't it? I constantly worry about what others are feeling and I've anything I did made them feel that way! Grrrrr! I know I can't control it but, well, sort of you can. If I'm nice to someone then it makes them feel good. If I'm rude to them then they get mad or sad. Then - when you really start thinking, thinking, thinking -- anything I do can influence how someone is feeling and then I have to make sure I'm doing the right thing .... for them.

Meh! Off to therapy.