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-   -   Attending a meeting while intoxicated (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/98987-attending-meeting-while-intoxicated.html)

pmaslan 07-25-2006 10:58 AM

Attending a meeting while intoxicated
 
I usually post on the Friends and Family Forum here at SR
for those that don't know me.
Something came up on a thread there today that got me thinking.
Have any of you ever gone to a AA meeting while intoxicated?
I would think that would be a no-no but someone posted
and said that they wouldn't turn someone away even drunk.
Got me to wondering if that is true of all meetings or just some.
I know that going to an AA meeting while drunk was absolutely
last on my ex fiancee's list.
Thanks for any imput.

Phinneas 07-25-2006 11:07 AM

Since each group of AA is atonomous, there will be different ways of handling this situation. How it has been treated in my area is this - if someone shows up to a meeting intoxicated, a couple of same-sex members with good quality and quantity sobriety take the person outside the meeting and councel them. Thus the meeting is not disrupted and the intoxicated person gets a "12 step call," which offers them a solution such as detox, rehab, or help sobering up and getting to more meetings.

PaperDolls 07-25-2006 12:07 PM

I've been to a meeting drunk. I wasn't fall down drunk and I didn't speak, but I was drunk. I felt like people were looking at me funny, like they could tell or smell it, but no one asked me to leave.

collinsmi 07-25-2006 12:10 PM

I never have. A meeting was the last place I wanted to be when drunk, for one thing you can't drink in the meeting! :) I've been at meetings when they're told to come back when they're dry and some where they're tolerated so long as they keep quiet.

eire rose 07-25-2006 12:17 PM

The last place I would want to be while drunk is a meeting, Can't imagine how painfull it is to be drunk and knowing that I need to be in a meeting, however this has happened in my home groups.

Usually there is nothing said to the person, they are left unless they ask for help. Once a guy took a bottle into the meeting, he had been drinking it outside prior to the meeting, no one said anything but I thought a boundry had been crossed, be drunk if you have to be but taking a bottle to the meeting was a bit much!

Anyway, in my neighbourhood no-one is turned away. provided they don't cause trouble or start fights.

Rose

Zoobear 07-25-2006 12:47 PM

I have never done it but we had a person who came quite often drunk. He never made any trouble and sat quietly through the meetings. He did manage to get sober for about 4 years before he passed away.

aasharon90 07-25-2006 12:51 PM

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.


I entered rehab in Aug 90 and from that point on I never drank again. So all my meetings have been sober ones for me. Im assuming there are people today even tho they are not drinking still attend meeting taking drugs. Or visa versa. Alcohol was my drug of choice just like the many other types of drugs available out there. It's all drugs. Once you attend meetings and get a taste of what recovery is like and get educated about the disease od alcoholism and addiction then they will realize that we are powerless over alcohol and drugs. The addiction is cunning , baffling and powerful but it all attacks us the same robbing us of any kind of normal happy way of life.

Ive never encountered someone being unrulely in a meeting. But im sure if it happens that person would be gently taken out side the meeting and talked with. As long as u remain quiet and unruley then everyone is welcomed in a meeting.

Thanks for letting me share.

PaperDolls 07-25-2006 12:52 PM

I guess I'm the only one who's done it around here, huh?

I think when I did that - I was really feeling, down and hopeless. I think I really wanted someone to save me. I did not know what to do and I was too scared to call a hospital. Actually, at that time I didn't even know that was an option. I was scared and needed to be around people.

I just felt like I needed to explain since I'm the only one.

c'est la vie 07-25-2006 12:53 PM

I went to an evening meeting after drinking a lot during the day. I wasn't drunk (well I didn't check my BAC), but I guess that doesn't count as "dry" either. I was feeling hopeless and the only thing I could think to help me was to get to a meeting.
The leader welcomed me, asked me to share, thanked me for helping set up and clean up, and wished me well on my road to recovery.

I guess it depends on the circumstance.

c'est la vie 07-25-2006 12:58 PM


Originally Posted by PaperDolls
I guess I'm the only one who's done it around here, huh?

Nah, they just haven't come around yet. I'm sure there are plenty.

CarolD 07-25-2006 01:00 PM

The AA Preamble

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

__________________________________________________ _________

I have gone to AA while dronking...
I see it often.

It does not matter...

MCH 07-25-2006 01:12 PM

I've come to meetings drunk, bottle in purse. I'd even go to the rest room for a sip. I felt sorry for the people in AA when I was first introduced and I certianly didn't think I was one of you. I couldn't figure out what it was that you had that I was supposed to want. I loved alcohol. I hated meetings, people, God, even coffee. I believe the one thing that kept me coming back and eventually led to my recovery was the lack of judgement from the people at the meetings. They loved me, they left me alone. I'd never experienced that in my life. Everyone I knew was eager and willing to tell me how to live my life, council me, preach to me or otherwise push me around. AA was different. They let me be who I was, they didn't try to TELL me. It fills my heart to know that.

It took me a long time to want sobriety - even after I hadn't had a drink for over a year. There was nothing honest about me for a long time. I had to relearn, or rather learn, everything that was worth knowing here, and people were kind. I'm a hard learner and they let me be. It was the warmth and safety of the rooms that kept me coming back.

I'm grateful for the Grace and maturity I found in the people of AA. I was told
"No matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, you're welcome here" and I needed to know that.

fraankie 07-25-2006 02:26 PM

yeah,
i've seen some come in
who are obviously drunk
usually, the chairperson reads
"...................that if you have been drinking in the last 24 hours, we ask you to refrain from sharing..........."
as they probably wouldn't make sense anyway

i've even said hello and shook their hand
and
gave them the ol' "keep coming"



best
fraankie

Music 07-25-2006 03:03 PM

If a drunk can't go to a meeting, where the hell can he go? As long as the drunk isn't disruptive I've never seen it as a problem. I think I'd have a problem with any AA who asked someone to leave a meeting just because he was drunk or smelled of alcohol.

Having said that, I do understand people feeling uncomfortable with a drunk in the room. It's sometimes hard looking at me the way I used to be. But, there but for the Grace of God go I.

pmaslan 07-25-2006 03:24 PM

Thank you to all that have shared so honestly.
I agree if someone goes to AA drunk, physically and mentally
looking for help he/she should be welcomed or at least accepted.
I think what I am getting at is the person attending AA as it is
mandated...ie court, wife, family, a friend, you get the idea.
He/she isn't there for help but just to pacify someone or something
else....what a waste of time for those truly in search of sobriety to
deal with someone not intending to help themself.
......remember this is from a codies point of view......

paulmh 07-25-2006 03:34 PM

On the 23rd, 24th and 25th of June 2003 I went to meetings utterly drunk and frantically desperate. I was capable of nothing more than "keep coming back" for those first few days and thankfully the people at those meetings welcomed me. They shared for me and helped me across the jumping off point.

As they say at my home group - people don't have glass heads. We don't know what they're getting from a meeting and what effect it will have. We share our ESH and see what they take. Thank G*d they did it for me.

CarolD 07-25-2006 03:38 PM

I don't care how anyone came to AA
I am soo glad they are there.

I can not share the joy of AA recovery
to an empty room.

DesertEyes 07-25-2006 04:17 PM


Originally Posted by pmaslan
....what a waste of time for those truly in search of sobriety to deal with someone not intending to help themself.......remember this is from a codies point of view......

For me it is not a waste of time to deal with someone not intending to help themself. Dealing with other alkies/addicts is part of the 12 step for me. The purpose of my working the steps is to keep _me_ sober, not somebody else. When I do this I am reminded, in an undeniable way, what _I_ would return to if I fail to maintain the spiritual condition that gives me a daily reprieve from this disease.

I have no idea how many drunks, recovering or not, I have spent time with over the years. I also have no clue if I made any difference at all in their lives. What I do know is that _I_ am still sober today, and that every one of those people made an impression in _my_ life.

Not too long I went to a friends house to meet with my friends' brother in law. I shared in a general way what my life used to be like, what happened, and what it's like now. The BIL shared a little of his life, and what his addiction was doing to him. He clearly reminded me of myself, and of my own twisted thinking when I was lost in my own addiction. I left him my recovery book, with all the yellow stickies and underlines. I told him he could borrow it and return it when he saw me at a meeting and could get his own.

That young man is a big part of my recovery today, because he is so much like me. Every time I remember him I am strongly motivated to maintain my recovery. Quite frankly, he scared me. Last I heard he was still actively pursuing his addiction. Gratefuly, I am not.

He has never returned my book. I have since had several more, I can never seem to keep them for long ;) My sponsor says that's the way it should be, if I ever manage to keep a book long enough to underline it from cover to cover then I am not working the 12th step properly *lol*

That's why I welcome the opportunity to work with another person who is suffering in their addiction, regardless of what willingness they may or may not have. It is thru _my_ willingness that _I_ remain sane and sober today.

Mike :)

Music 07-25-2006 04:23 PM


Originally Posted by pmaslan
what a waste of time for those truly in search of sobriety to deal with someone not intending to help themself.

Someone who is "truly" in search of sobriety wouldn't sit in judgment of anyone showing up at an AA meeting. Father Joe Martin who's famous for his tapes on Chalk Talk and others said once, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink, however, you can damn sure make them thirsty. Who's to say what someone sees or hears at an AA meeting, just might be the one thing that makes that light bulb click on? It's not my business how someone gets to AA. The fact that they're there is good enough for me.


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