I just don't get it!?
 

I just don't get this disease! Well I do - I know it's cunning baffling powerful and PROGRESSIVE but sometimes like last night I am just struck so forcibly about how denial is such an integral part of this illness.

I went to a very good meeting last night at 'the hospital' I don't know what the term is for it, but basically it is the hospital that is especially for addicts in particular alcoholics to dry out, they are like basically committed. (ie not a treatment centre this is a hospital hospital)

Anyway, AA holds a meeting there really for the patients to attend if they wish - they are not forced to go which is a good & bad thing, different discussion.

What happens is that it's for 1 hour, no sharing they get in 2 speakers always people with a lot of time and pretty charismatic. Between the 2 speakers there is a bit of explanation about aa and they get literature.

So, that's all cool, right.

Went up last night and it was a huge meeting (for our town) about 30 people. I was so chuffed apart from being there that so many patients were getting the opportunity to share in the AA experience, and they could take it from there, if they wished.

Turns out, over the past week over 100 people had been admitted!!! (Christmas in Ireland)

Do you know how many went to the meeting?

One!?

The rest of the people there were regular AA-ers.

How is that? Surely if you are so desperately ill that you are hospitalised you would reach out for anything. How come only one person would give it a try?

Is that judgmental of me??

All I can think of is that it is DENIAL?? That they don't feel like they are alcoholics even though they are drying out in an institution - that's the madness of our disease!!

I spoke to the nurse and you know what she said, she said typically at this stage (hospitalisation) in her experience it takes people 2 to 3 hospitalisations of this nature before they either drink themselves to death or get help via rehab or AA. How shocking is that!?

I was just so saddened and horrified. I sometimes forget how powerful this disease is.

One of the oldtimers said again last night - your disease has one purpose...and it will do anything...to destroy you....and most of all it is PATIENT.

Shudders!!

What do you think?

I think we're done when we're done.
And sometimes, even when we think we're done, we're not.
Cunning indeed.

Cathy,i understand youre concern,for sure,. My dear,i dont personally try to get into another, persons mind and,try to figure them out.because from my experience,ive been dead wrong,on what i thought that they thought,..
The recovery programs are for people who...want...it
Not need it....
Let go,let God.and pray for them,is all one can do.And prayer is one powerful tool.

I know, you are absolutely right. I just sometimes am pulled up / shocked by this disease. I just need to be grateful that I am sober today. It's just very sad, but you are so right...I am almost always wrong about what I thought they thought!??!

Thanks Cap!

Cathy i know how you feel,i really do.Ive spent many years trying to get hub,family member to go get help.all to no avail.I cant tell you how hurt,painful this time was for me,all to no avail.I was hurting myself and them,by my pushing them,for a better way to live.They didnt want it.Only hub came to recovery programs,by God,s grace,and it was when he hit bottom,just like i did,and when he had enough,just like me to..When i first came to recovery programs,i wanted a law to shut down all booze stores,,,am i controling or what?..lol.But i did,until i got more recovery for myself,then i knew that im powerless,,step one...In prayers i feel comfort,knowing that im helping another.Helps to give me strenght,inside too,that i can accept life on lifes terms.Am able to go help if i can those who want help...My thoughts about their thoughts?...smile..still trying to figure out,me..heheeee.
You are a wonderful carring person..Being human beings,we are for sure limited on how we can help others,
God Bless,,,

My alcohol ISM has one purpose -- to kill me, drunk or sober -- he's always up there lurking. My belief.

Cathy, big props to you for going to that meeting -- I have done some of the hospital meetings in the past. There was one guy there who scared the crap out of me. He just sat there, staring. Couldn't move. Couldn't talk. His ISM was getting its way... just a lifeless soul. Scared me. But for the grace of God go I....

I am so grateful today that God rescued me (and you of course :08: ) from that end -- for I surely could have gone down that route. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know and never want to find out.

I was a high bottomed drunk, but I'm learning that my life can continue to slide even further downhill after I became sober. I could say "but God, I've done my steps -- I've had my spritual awakening -- WTF?" -- but that's not my choice I guess. I must learn, and I must cope with whatever comes my way in life. I'm not special, I guess I'm just too scared to find out what it would be like out there again.... but the Big Book tells me fear will not keep us sober....

so, for today -- I've got to do the deal. Thank you, Cathy -- you remind us all of what could have been, and most importantly -- what could be -- what your avatar says... "one bite and all resistance crumbles..." for me -- that wouldn't be all that crumbles....

Thanks for that powerful post Cath...


No Mo

I know exactly what you mean cathy . I do the detox Roster for out District ( AA). We go into local detox facillitys, tell our story give out some litrature, ect once a week. There is an opportunity for us to take the patients to the near by meeting. Somew of them go " just to have the outing". I have not seen more than 2 come back of their own volition after they were discharged , and they didn't stay.

I used to get very dispondent about it , but as my Sponser said, it is my responibility to take them to a meeting if they wish to go, and pass on the message, what they do with it then is their bussiness.

It is so sad, isn't it ?

HUGX
Lee

My friend Ellen ran a meeting for street people in D.C.

I helped her for 3 years....we made sandwitches and brought fruit and coffee.

From our apartments to St. Matthres we walked thru the pocket parks.


Within the 7 blockes we always had a following.

Most of those who came were coming for the snacks.
It was sad to see how little mental capacities were left.

Did any find their sobriety? Well sure....Ellen and I did. :approve:

As Ken mentioned...it scared the hell out me.
Easy to forget the conquences when you only attend the fancy meetings.

Thanks for the topic Cathy.

Hi Cathy,
For two or three years my sponsor and I went down to Chicago to Catholic Charities for the Monday night meeting with the guys off the street. These guys came in for the coffee and to get warm mostly, sometimes beat up and bloodied. DENIAL.....you bet. The only thing that really breaks down denial is experience. The experiences that being an alcoholic can cause and until/unless a person hurts bad enough to reach the point where they've had enough, they have no reason to admit defeat and stop with the denial. I still think about those guys down there and it never fails to bring on the thought that "There but for the Grace of God go I." Today the only denial I worry about is my own. Of course I feel for those who "don't get it" but there's nothing I can do until the person wants to change.

How many are in there because they want to be in there?

I go to AA cause, I want to go and I need to go. Until anyone accepts they are an alcoholic and wanting to change, they're just putting there time in.


Here where I live, we get court ordered people to AA. They get their paper signed as proff of attendance, go to how many meetings they have to and never return.

This program is for people that want it, not for the people that need it. That's how you get better.

Cathy, just as you got here when you were ready and willing same goes for anyone else out their in active addiction. Remember your own beginings and it will help you to make better sense of it.

One of my brothers is back out there in denial and never really embraced what I tried to share. My mom, thinks I should do something to make him go. She's mad because I won't do anything about it, won't call him, won't extend the hand again. He knows where to find me and AA when ready and even a few here tried to help him. I'm just as powerless over him "getting it" as I am with alcohol.

They know where to go and what is being offered but they have to take those steps in getting there on their own.

Yes, Chy -- unfortunately the door to AA does swing both ways...

It's hard to be powerless sometimes.

My first thought at the low attendance would be a saftey issue. Throw 100 Irish drunks in a room who would kill for a drink and there could be problems. I don't know what the nurse told you, but I would suspect a large percentage were in no condition to be in a social setting.

Once in a while people who have been on the street a while DO make it in these rooms and it is amazing to see! I know a few. It's good for me to think of them when I feel overburdened by my so called problems.

all the rehab's / dtoxes / hospitals in new york
require attendance at the nightly AA meeting
it's a big jump to figure it out
so
i always do the old
"well, i'm here"
many people, in or out of a hospital, for sure
are just not ready, as they say

i always liked hospital meetings
it sort of let's me know
if i drink
i'll be back there


best
fraankie