How long was your Step 4 resentments list?
 

Mine is about one page. I don't have that many resentments. Am I not understanding what a resentment is perhaps? I just don't care all that much about what other people do or say or don't do or don't say. I don't keep people in my life if they routinely upset me.I live by myself, no exes or kids. I don't have that many people in my life. I don't have resentments against my friends or they wouldn't be my friends. I feel like i must be missing something because some people have said they have 30 plus pages of resentments.

If you were walking down the street, is there anyone walking towards you who you would want to avoid? Write those names down.

I will be starting to work step 4 next week with my sponsor. I started one 7 years ago and didn’t finish and did not have a sponsor. I hit a terrifying hard bottom in September. That is an excellent idea about walking down the street and avoiding certain people. Now my list has grown!

Nope. Maybe people who talk too much like my mother's neighbour, but I don't resent her.

The length of your resentment list is not what is important, it is not a contest, what matters is the thoroughness of the list. Also as you begin to work your way through the list, more names and incidents might start to pop up. Even after you are finished, more things from the past might later come to mind. That is okay as well, and you can deal with them as they come up. There is no expiration date or "sorry you missed the due date for submission" parameters.

Don't know if any of the following will helpful or even applicable, but just trying to give you food for thought and get your wheels to spinning...

What types of things have people done in the past to routinely upset you and cause you to cut them out of your life?

What types behavior do people exhibit that would prevent them from being considered as potential new friends?


FWIW It was so long ago that I couldn't tell you how long my resentment list, but I imagine it was similar to yours.

first time in AA in 1988 I had a little over 90 names on my list
in 2009 I did another resentment list
over 500 resentments on it

I had mulitple resentments against people I missed first time around.If you feel uncomrtable around someone,write them down.If they pop into your mind,write them down,theres a reason they come into our minds...people,instutions and principles ,and then more poeple that instutions and principles.
what I leave off the paper,I leave in my head,I didn`t want to do that.If they didn`t belong on my list,they worked themselves out later.

I prayed first before writing on my list,
my prayer was

Please show me the truth about myself,please have me do this work the way you want me too.Please help me be fearless,thourgh,searching and honest
3rd step prayer too
thank you

that was my only prayer
it worked when I paid attention to my mind
my job was to pray,and operate the pencil,not to discern or decide what went on the list
if I did that,I was back into playing God

it worked very good

ps

I also went back thru my life in 5 year blocks,like 0-5
5-10 etc and I found many that way.I looked into family,soicial,work,etc areas of my life
we have tons of resentments,the problem lies on our identifying them and then putting the on our list and not judging them beforehand,just write them down