Ceedaily

My sponsor does not see themselves as a longterm sponsor and I’m okay with that. We just so happen to live in neighboring buildings, but we never run into each other in the street unless we’re meeting to read, work a step and the like. I moved in to my building after having less than a month to find a place and my apartment is kind of small and management has decided not to reinstate the call box even though it makes deliveries a huge to do at times. Other than those things and a building wide ceiling fan remotes issue I’m happy enough because I have a w/d in unit, as well as a nice refrigerator and a dishwasher. I love the location. Anyway I would love to spread out in a bigger place if I see something available because I do have a lot of things that would be more easily accessed with room. My lease goes month to month in September, so the search doesn’t need to be rushed. Overall I lucked out getting an apartment in a hurry last time, but I don’t see the need for speed now as I am not signing on for another year here. My brother suggested that I move because it would be great to make a place feel homey and conducive to creativity and open storage and maybe live in a building with a working call box and lighting that doesn’t go off unexpectedly. The idea sounded great to me because I’m having trouble finding a job and I love the idea of a place that has room for some cool flea market bookcases and tables. Such organic,artisanal grape juice problems, I’m sorry. Anyway, I blurted out to my sponsor I was thinking of moving some weeks ago. I said it right after sharing in a meeting how lucky I was that the fates conspired to find me a home group meeting, an apartment and a sponsor in 400 feet of each other. I’m still kind of just saying anything that comes to mind, my filter is a work in progress. My sponsor wants me to work on finding a place weekly, even though I now think I’m wanting to move as just another avoidance tactic, another way to remain in limbo without engaging in some necessary multitasking(“I can’t possibly move/get work/fix my teeth in the same time” and picking moving because it seems the least anxiety inducing) Could my sponsor possibly be hurt that I praised the universe for this AA location nexus one week and was talking moving the next? Think distance will make it easier for me or them once we’re no longer sponsor/sponsee? Or is it simply once you tell your sponsor you are thinking of doing something they are going to help you make it a reality if it’s not a terrible idea? Also feeling really weird about worrying about this kind of stuff at this time- working on my life like the world is perfectly okay enough. Maybe I’m just looking for a sensitive and grateful way to ask my sponsor why they are discouraging me from conducting my apartment search slowly or postponing it altogether.

biminiblue

Yeah, who knows what the sponsor is thinking?

You'd need to ask them.

To thine own self be true on the apartment thing - and, it's okay to change your mind about your own life.

LumenandNyx

You're an adult. You don't need your sponsor's encouragement, approval or permission. Sponsors are supposed to act as a guide, but it's important to remember that they carry around their faults and foibles just like the rest of us. You sponsor is also in recovery which means - he or she is not always in top notch shape and in turn, can't always be most helpful.

And if your sponsor is hurt - your sponsor should know how to tackle that uncomfortable feeling. It's not your job to guess at it or to fix it. It looks to me like a sit down with your sponsor and a cup of joe is in order. Do you not feel comfortable discussing these things with him/her?

Best.

snitch

My sponsor is there to guide me through the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and to help guide me through any problems I need extra help with by using the steps. That's it.

sugarbear1

Pray on this move--ask your higher power if this is where you are to be useful.....
Meditate on this to maybe get an answer from your higher power...is this where you should move so that you are useful to others?

Your answer will come.

As Snitch said, a sponsor guides us through the steps to seek our answers.

uncle holmes

Assets: w/d, nice fridge, dishwasher, love location, good recovery spot: apartment, home group, sponsor close range. Happy enough. Search doesn't need to be rushed. Got lucky to find this place.

Liabilities: Not enough space, call box problems, ceiling fan issues, lighting goes off.

Things that need to get done: Finding work, getting teeth fixed.

That's a tough one! Sounds like you're happy where you're at overall and it's a good spot for your recovery, but think you'll be even happier with a bigger, more efficient space! Sure, more space is desirable. But about every place is going to have something wrong with it! And what if that bigger place isn't that good for your recovery?

Being that this place is good enough for now and is a good spot for your recovery, if it was me, I would postpone your apartment search and focus on mainly two or three things right now - your recovery, finding a job, and getting your teeth fixed. Now, if your location has something to do with you not being able to find a job, then that would be a good reason to find a place that is in the area of finding a job. But for now I say stay where you're at and focus on job hunting everyday and your recovery!

As far as your sponsor, I would just tell her that you changed your mind and am going to stay here and find a job first and get your teeth fixed while focusing on your recovery! I'm sure she'll be ok with that!