Dave42001

Daily Reflections

RESPECT FOR OTHERS

Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be
unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on our self, but always
considerate of others.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 74

Respect for others is the lesson that I take out of this passage. I must go
to any lengths to free myself if I wish to find that peace of mind that I
have sought for so long. However, none of this must be done at
another's expense. Selfishness has no place in the A.A. way of life.
When I take the Fifth Step it's wiser to choose a person with whom I
share common aims because if that person does not understand me, my
spiritual progress may be delayed and I could be in danger of a relapse.
So I ask for divine guidance before choosing the man or woman whom I
take into my confidence.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

It's very important to keep in a grateful frame of mind, if we want to
stay sober. We should be grateful that we're living in a day and age
when alcoholics aren't treated as they often used to be treated before
Alcoholics Anonymous was started. In the old days, every town had its
town drunk who was regarded with scorn and ridiculed by the rest of
the townspeople. We have come into A.A. and found all the sympathy,
understanding, and fellowship that we could ask for. There's no other
group like A.A. in the world. Am I grateful?

Meditation For The Day

God takes our efforts for good and blesses them. God needs our efforts.
We need God's blessing. Together, they mean spiritual success. Our
efforts are necessary. We cannot merely relax and drift with the tide.
We must often direct our efforts against the tide of materialism around
us. When difficulties come, our efforts are needed to surmount them. But
God directs our efforts into the right channels and God's power is
necessary to help us choose the right.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may choose the right. I pray that I may have God's blessing
and direction in all my efforts for good.

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As Bill Sees It

Persistence in Prayer, p. 127

We often tend to slight serious meditation and prayer as something
not really necessary. To be sure, we feel it is something that might
help us to meet an occasional emergency, but at first many of us are
apt to regard it as a somewhat mysterious skill of clergymen, from
which we may hope to get a secondhand benefit.

> >>

In A.A. we have found that the actual good results of prayer are
beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience.
All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their
own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And
they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in
the face of difficult circumstances.

12 & 12
1. p. 96
2. p. 104

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Walk in Dry Places

Did I have a dysfunctional family?
Healing the Past.
We hear much about the long-term effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Many alcoholics, in fact, have bitter memories of their own parents' drinking, and may feel this caused needless deprivation and misery.
Whether our families were dysfunctional or not, we must agree that most of our parents did the best they could. We cannot bring back the past---- nor can they, ----and it is best released, forgiven, and forgotten. Our wisest course is to use the tools of the program to reach the maturity and well-being that will bring happiness into our own lives. This will not happen, however, if we believe that growing up in a dysfunctional home has left us permanently impaired.
In our fellowship, we can find endless examples of people who used the Twelve Steps to overcome all kinds of emotional and physical disabilities. Just when we start thinking something in our past is a permanent handicap, we meet other people who survived the same bitter experiences and are living life to the fullest. They've cleared away the wreckage of their past in order to build wisely for the future.
I'll remember today that I am not bound or limited by anything that was ever done or said to me. I face the day with self-confidence and a sense of expectancy, knowing that I am really a fortunate person with many reasons to be grateful.

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Keep It Simple

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.---Will Rogers
Secrets help keep us sick. In our drinking and using days, we did things we weren't proud of. We lived in a secret world we were ashamed of. This part of the power of addiction. Our behavior and our secrets kept us trapped. Recovery offers us a way out of this secret world. In our groups, we share our secrets, and they lose their power over us. There may be things we're too ashamed to talk about in our groups. When we share these things in our Fifth Step, they lose their power over us.
We have a new life that we're not ashamed to talk about. When shame leaves, pride enters our hearts. We know we're good people!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me live a good life.
Action for the Day: Do I have any secrets that get in my way? Do I need to do a Fifth Step? If so, I'll pick a date---today.

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Each Day a New Beginning

We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. --Merle Shain
Pain stretches us. It pushes us toward others. It encourages us to pray. It invites us to rely on many resources, particularly those within.
We develop our character while handling painful times. Pain offers wisdom. It prepares us to help other women whose experiences repeat our own. Our own pain offers us the stories that help another who is lost and needs our guidance.
When we reflect on our past for a moment, we can recall the pain we felt last month or last year; the pain of a lost love, or the pain of no job and many bills; perhaps the pain of children leaving home, or the death of a near and dear friend. It might have seemed to us that we couldn't cope. But we did, somehow, and it felt good. Coping strengthened us.
What we forget, even now, is that we need never experience a painful time alone. The agony that accompanies a wrenching situation is dissipated as quickly and as silently as the entrance of our higher power, when called upon.
I long for contentment. And I deserve those times. But without life's pain I would fail to recognize the value of contentment.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 11 - A Vision For You

Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. Still physically weak, and sober but a few months, he saw that his predicament was dangerous. He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom?
One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid. At the end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches. Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar. He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he would find companionship and release. Unless he took some drinks, he might not have the courage to scrape an acquaintance and would have a lonely week-end.
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was the old, insidious insanity—that first drink. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.

p. 154

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

GROUNDED - Alcohol clipped this pilot's wings until sobriety and hard work brought him back to the sky.

I take little credit for all that has happened. I suited up and showed up, but the process of A.A., the grace of a loving God, and the help of so many around me have been far more responsible for all the events in my life. Today one of my sons has more than 3 1/2 years of sobriety after nearly losing his life to alcohol and drugs. He is truly one more miracle in my life for which I am so deeply grateful.

pp. 529-530

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers."

"Then, hesitantly, I ventured to talk about the spiritual side of our program. What a freeze that drunk gave me! I'd no sooner got the word `spiritual' out of my mouth than he pounced. `Oh!' he said. `Now I get it! You're proselytizing for some **** religious sect or other. Where do you get that "no angle" stuff? I belong to a great church that means everything to me. You've got a nerve to come in here talking religion!"

pp. 152-153

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Whoever seeks God . . . has already found God.

"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,
which means never losing your enthusiasm."
--Aldous Huxley

"A happy life is made up of little things . . . a gift sent, a letter written, a
call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake
made, a book lent, a check sent."
--Carol Holmes

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by
the attitude you bring to life."
--John Homer Miller

We need to let the old go, so the new can emerge.
--Peggy Bassett

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

SUCCESS

"There is no failure except in no
longer trying."
--Elbert Hubbard

I produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and
everyone - my parents, the job, my health, low income, a cruel world,
thoughtless friends, the weather! Today I am able to own my failures
because they are mine.

Today I am also able to see my successes - and this makes me a winner.
I am able to see the things that I have achieved, the character defects I
have confronted, the happiness that comes with an acceptance of self.

I may not be perfect but I am certainly not worthless. I may make
mistakes but I am not evil. I have a heart that needs to love and also
needs to be loved. Today I am able to reveal my vulnerability and
discover its strength.

This underling is learning how to fly.

Master, may I continue to seek Your power and glory in my life.

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For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light
shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of
God in the face of Christ.
2 Corinthians 4:6

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting
away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and
momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far
outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what
is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Daily Inspiration

Right now is a good time to free yourself of the burden of that which needs to be done, but has been put off. Lord, little by little, help me remove my procrastinations so that I can fully live in the present.

Live a God-filled life and it will be only natural that you will express enthusiasm for life, joy, laughter and happiness. Lord, may the way I live always express my love for You.

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NA Just For Today

Turning Turmoil Into Peace

"With the world in such a turmoil, I feel I have been blessed to be where I am."
Basic Text, p. 155

Some days it doesn't pay to turn on the news, we hear so many stories about violence and mayhem. When we used, many of us grew accustomed to violence. Through the fog of our addiction, we rarely got too disturbed by the state of the world. When we are clean, however, many of us find we are particularly sensitive to the world around us. As recovering people, what can we do to make it a better place?

When we find ourselves disturbed by the turmoil of our world, we can find comfort in prayer and meditation. When it seems like everything is turned upside down, our contact with our Higher Power can be our calm in the midst of any storm. When we are centered on our spiritual path, we can respond to our fears with peace. And by living peaceably ourselves, we invite a spirit of peace to enter our world. As recovering people, we can affect positive change by doing our best to practice the principles of our program.

Just for today: I will enhance peace in the world by living, speaking, and acting peacefully in my own life.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Our deeds will travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. --George Eliot
We grow within, the way a tree does. We've all seen the rings representing the years of a tree's life. We carry our histories with us, too. Our actions, our attitudes, our goals, and our dreams all gather together inside us to make us what we are today. We're probably ashamed of some of our past, but our behavior each day adds to our history, and we control it.
We can't escape our mistakes, but we don't have to repeat them; and every day that is lived well gives us a history to be proud of.
How can I add goodness to my past--and my future--by my actions today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it. --Edward R. Murrow
We may reduce our difficulties with others to communication problems, yet the remedy may remain unclear. How can we become more responsible for our share of the communication? Can we stop blaming others? When we improve in those ways, our relationships get better.
Clear, specific, and direct language will help us be more responsible and less blaming. We can use simple words that expose the truth rather than words that hide or sugarcoat it. We can use specific examples and give details rather than generalities or hints. We can be more direct by using you and me language. In the process, we yield to the truth within ourselves - and become more honest.
Today, I will be aware of communicating clearly, specifically, and directly.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. --Merle Shain
Pain stretches us. It pushes us toward others. It encourages us to pray. It invites us to rely on many resources, particularly those within.
We develop our character while handling painful times. Pain offers wisdom. It prepares us to help other women whose experiences repeat our own. Our own pain offers us the stories that help another who is lost and needs our guidance.
When we reflect on our past for a moment, we can recall the pain we felt last month or last year; the pain of a lost love, or the pain of no job and many bills; perhaps the pain of children leaving home, or the death of a near and dear friend. It might have seemed to us that we couldn't cope. But we did, somehow, and it felt good. Coping strengthened us.
What we forget, even now, is that we need never experience a painful time alone. The agony that accompanies a wrenching situation is dissipated as quickly and as silently as the entrance of our higher power, when called upon.
I long for contentment. And I deserve those times. But without life's pain I would fail to recognize the value of contentment.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Fear
Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.
Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.
Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.
At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.
Its time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don't need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.
We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.
God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.


Today I choose to accept live on life's terms...all of it. I am open to all I see, hear, think and feeling the moment, without resistance. I am opening to be fully alive and enjoying the adventure. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Are You Angry?

Anger ranks high on the list of perplexing, troublesome emotions. We want to be kind and loving, but then suddenly we feel a jolt in our heart, an edge to our voice. Something has been tapped deep inside. It could be a chunk of old anger, something we weren’t conscious of or safe enough to feel back then. It may be current. Something has come into our life today, and our reaction is anger.

Oh no, we may think, this sin’t what I need. But denying anger will not bring us joy. Hiding it, tucking it away deep inside is not the answer. We may even turn it upon ourselves. Not feeling anger won’t make it go away. Its energy will still be there, pounding away inside us and, in subtle ways, pounding away at others,too. Until we acknowledge our anger, feel it, and release it, it will keep us off balance, on edge, and irritable. We need to give ourselves permission to feel all our emotions, including anger.

But allowing yourself to feel angry doesn’t mean giving yourself permission to rage, to hack and cleave at the world, to verbally abuse those around you. Find ways to express your anger with grace and dignity. Park your car, roll down the windows, and yell. Find a solitary place, a spot where you are safe, then speak loudly about how you feel. Write it out. Shout it out. Pound it out. Go to the gym and work it out.

Anger can be a guide, Used creatively, it can help us decide where to go and where not to go. It can help us get to the next place in our lives. Feeling and expressing our anger in appropriate ways will take us forward to a place of power within ourselves.

Let yourself feel angry when anger is what you really feel. Then get the anger out of your head and out of your body. Once that’s happened, you’ll feel clear. You’ll know what to do next. The path to your heart, to your inner voice, will be opened. Sometimes getting angry is exactly what we need to do next.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s time to stop coping

In her book Recovering from the Loss of a Child, author Katherine Fair Donnelly writes of a man whose infant daughter, Robyn, died from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). The child died in the stroller, while the mother was out walking her. The father had stopped to get a haircut that day and was given a number for his turn.

“It was something he never did again in future years,” Donnelly wrote. “He would never take a number at the barber’s and always came home first to make sure everything was all right. Then he would go and get a haircut. It became one of the ways he found of coping.”

I hate “coping.” It’s not living. It’s not being free. It reeks of “surviving.”

But sometimes it’s the best we can do, for a while.

Eight years after my son died, I was signing the papers to purchase a home. It was the first home I had bought since his death. The night before he died, I had also signed papers to buy a new home. I didn’t know that I had begun to associate buying a home with his death, until I noticed my hand trembling and my heart pounding as I finished signing the purchase agreement. For eight years, I had simply avoided buying a home, renting one less-than-desirable place after another and complaining about the travails of being a renter. I only knew then that I was “never going to buy another house again.” I didn’t understand that I was coping.

Many of us find ways of coping. As children, we may have become very angry with our parents. Having no recourse, we may have said to ourselves, “I’ll show them. I’m never going to do well at music, or sports, or studies again.” As adults, we may deal with a loss or death, by saying, “I’m always going to be nice to people and make them happy.Then they won’t go away.” Or we may deal with a betrayal by saying, “I’m never going to open my heart to a woman, or man, again.”

Coping often includes making an incorrect connection between an event and our behavior. It may help us survive, but at some point our coping behaviors usually get in our way. They become habits and take on a life of their own. And although we think we’re protecting ourselves or someone we love, we aren’t.

Robyn didn’t die because her father took a number and waited to get his hair cut.

My son didn’t die because I bought a new house.

Are you keeping yourself from doing something that you really want to do as a means of coping with something that happened to you a long time ago? Cope if you must, if it helps save your life. But maybe today is the day you could set yourself free.

God, show me if I’m limiting myself and my life in some way by using an outdated coping behavior. Help me know that I’m safe and strong enough now to let that survival behavior go.

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Undistracted Energy
Pure Thoughts

The longer we are able to hold a positive thought, the stronger that energy around us becomes.

If we make no effort at all, our thoughts usually scatter in a vast array of directions. They start and stop and move in surprising ways from one second to the next. If we try to follow our thoughts without controlling them, we will be amazed at how truly inconsistent they are. Yet, if we apply our minds to a specific task, especially one that interests us, they gather together and allow us to focus our attention, creating great power and energy. This is what is known as pure thought, because it is undistracted.

The law of attraction—like attracts like—influences all energy, including our thoughts, and this is what makes pure thought so potent. Our undistracted thoughts create a powerful magnet that draws similar energy into our vibrational field. As a result, the longer we are able to hold positive thoughts in our minds, the more powerful the positive energy around us becomes. We don’t need to focus on action and controlling so much when we are surrounded by energy that draws what we want toward us. We can simply respond to the opportunities that naturally come our way. When this is the essence of our experience, we can go with the flow, knowing that we will be okay.

If pure thought is a body, it is our emotions that supply the heart that can really bring it to life. Our thoughts and feelings exist in relation to one another, and they form a feedback loop through which they communicate and empower each other. When we hold a thought in our mind without being distracted, we have achieved pure thought. When we have a positive emotional response to that thought, we enable it to dance and move and breathe itself into existence. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If I believe that it’s hopeless to expect any improvement in my life, I’m doubting the power of God. If I believe I have reason for despair, I’m confessing personal failure, for I do have the power to change myself; nothing can prevent it but my own unwillingness. I can learn in The Program to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God — if I’m willing to be continually aware of God’s nearness. Do I still imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do?

Today I Pray

May I give over my life to the will of God, not to the whims and insensitivities of others. When I counted solely on what other people did and thought and felt for my own happiness, I became nothing more than a cheap mirror reflecting others’ lives. May I remain close to God in all things. I value msyelf because He values me. May I have my being in his Being and be dependent only upon Him.

Today I Will Remember

Stay close to God.

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One More Day

Faith has a powerful effect in helping people recover a sense of balance, tranquility, and hope.
– Robert Veninga

It’s the funniest thing about human nature: When we are well we accept our Higher Power with few second thoughts. When we have undergone some kind of crisis, however, large numbers of people seem to lose their faith for a while. After all, who among us hasn’t asked, “Why me?” when our health first took a turn for the worse? Questioning our faith is common at such a time.

A health crisis often encourages soul-searching, and spiritual exploration. Life as we knew it has gone Topsy-turvy, and we need time to adjust. After a while many of us return with renewed strength to our spiritual beliefs.

My belief in my Higher Power may have diminished for a while, but I take comfort in knowing that belief is always there.

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Food For Thought

Anger

When angry, many of us overate. Now that we are abstaining, what do we do with our anger?

First of all, we need to be in touch with our feelings so that we can recognize anger when it occurs. In our overeating days, we often may not have realized that we were angry instead of hungry. Not until we were stuffed with food did the anger surface, and then we frequently directed it at ourselves for overeating.

Getting the carbohydrates out of our system allows us to be more aware of our true feelings and reactions. If we can catch our anger when it begins, it is easier to handle. Expressing it in the early stages is less devastating to ourselves and others than waiting until it builds up into a rage.

The best thing we can do with anger is to turn it over to our Higher Power. If we hang on to it, we can be destroyed. Practicing the Steps every day helps us get rid of anger. If we let Him, our Higher Power will take it away.

Take away my anger, Lord.

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One Day At A Time

SUBLIMATION
"People who are happy don't use food to
sublimate. Food is supposed to be good for
you - not make you feel good!"
Gary Null

All compulsive overeaters use food to sublimate. Sublimation in layman’s terms is any habit or technique we use to alter or change our reality - for better or worse! Sublimation methods of choice are a great gauge to measure mental and physical health. Poor choices are using food, gambling, television, alcohol, drugs, shopping, excessive sleep or too many passive activities. Healthy choices are meditation, visual imagery, prayer, journaling, yoga, physical exercise, relaxation exercises, deep breathing, etc. Anything from lawn mowing to vacuuming could be an act of sublimation - IF done with high level of awareness and concentration. A person who's high up the ladder spiritually sees Higher Power in all things at all times. Since we sublimate regardless, the trick is to make it a consciously controlled positive sublimation rather than subconscious negative sublimation.

One day at a time...
I will consciously incorporate positive, healthy methods of sublimation.
~ Rob R.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable that do the psychiatrist and the doctor. - Pg. 18 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Withdrawal is a condition that can last many months and produces chaos: chaotic emotions, chaotic thoughts, chaotic family situations, chaotic desires. But we take one step at a time, one hour at a time and the chaos eventually calms.

I know everything changes and the chaos will pass in these changes as long as I don't use mind-affecting chemicals.

Unseen Hands

There are forces in this ever alive and vibrating universe that want to help me if I can let them. I will pray to unseen hands to guide me toward wellness, to lift me towards God. If I am low, I will allow this legion of tiny hands to lift me in the blink of an eye. I will ask and trust that help is at hand. I will free my mind so that it can include more experience that it normally does. I will allow the veil to be lifted so that I can see this spiritual and alive universe for what it is and people for the tender and vulnerable creatures that we all are.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Don't ever think you have nothing left to learn in the fellowship and that everyone wants to hear you talk incessantly because you are so wise. You can not have an open mouth and an open mind at the same time.

When I do all the talking, I can only hear what I already know.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Reputation is what people think of us. Character is what God knows about us.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I choose to accept live on life's terms.all of it. I am open to all I see, hear, think and feeling the moment, without resistance. I am opening to be fully alive and enjoying the adventure.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Alcoholism is a disease which tells us we don't have it. - Anon.__________________