Dave42001

Daily Reflections

BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE

We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a
beginning. A much more important demonstration of our
principles lies before us in our respective homes,
occupations and affairs.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.19

It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the
people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay
sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common
release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so
hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends
in the program. At home or at work, though, it can be
a difference story. It is in situations arising in
both of those areas that the little day-to-day
frustrations are most evident, and where it can be
tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an
attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that
I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk
through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Have I admitted I am an alcoholic? Have I swallowed my
pride and admitted I was different from other drinkers?



Have I accepted the fact that I must spend the rest of
my life without liquor? Have I any more reservations, any
idea in the back of my mind that some day I'll be able to
drink safely? Am I absolutely honest with myself and with
other people? Have I taken an inventory of myself and
admitted the wrong I have done? Have I come clean with my
friends? Have I tried to make it up to them for the way I
have treated them?

Meditation For The Day

I will believe that fundamentally all is well. Good things
will happen to me. I believe that God cares for me and will



provide for me. I will not try to plan ahead. I know that
the way will unfold, step by step. I will leave tomorrow's
burden to God, because He is the great burden-bearer. He
only expects me to carry my one-day's share.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not try to carry the burden of the
universe on my shoulders. I pray that I may be satisfied to
do my share each day.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Can We Choose?, p. 4

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the
hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our



surroundings--that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for
us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can
really choose.

<< << << >> >> >>

"As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would
drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree
that we must go on with our own destruction.

"Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We
came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was



surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a
Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to
practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

"In short, we chose to 'become willing,' and no better choice did we ever
make."

1. Grapevine, November 1960
2. Letter, 1966

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

God's will for us
Higher Will
More than one alcoholic has trouble learning and accepting God's will. This difficulty may grow out of the old belief that God's will is going to be something unpleasant or dull. "I was afraid of learning God's will, because I thought I might have to go off to Africa as a missionary," one young person said at a meeting.
But God only intends what is best for us; therefore, the only real happiness and security comes from learning and carrying out God's will. God's plan is always better and greater than anything we might produce when depending solely on human reason. Our own view and understandings are limited, but God can see a breathtaking sweep of wonderful activities and opportunities for us.



Most of us, by yielding to self-will, lose out in the search for real joy, true success, and genuine happiness. Our alcoholism was perhaps the best example of self-will in action. It was only when we turned to a Higher Power that we began to find the things that we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. God has brought us this far and will not fail us when we ask for guidance and understanding in other matters.
I will keep in mind today that God's will for me is good, and that God gives me the power to live in peace and harmony with others.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

He who is swift to believe is swift to forget.----Abraham Joshua Herschel
Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers. We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people's ideas may not fit us. The program doesn't tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it. When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a Higher Power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know You, and help me know the truth.



Action for the Day: Today I'll think about my First Step. Do I truly believe I'm powerless over my disease?

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Once I knew that I wanted to be an artist, I had made myself into one. I did not understand that wanting doesn't always lead to action. Many of the women had been raised without the sense that they could mold and shape their own lives, and so, wanting to be an artist (but without the ability to realize their wants) was, for some of them, only an idle fantasy, like wanting to go to the moon.
--Judy Chicago
There are probably not many of us, in this recovery program, who grappled with life as straight on as Judy Chicago did. It is likely we didn't understand that we could mold and shape our lives. How lucky we are to be learning that now with the help of the Twelve Steps and one another. Each day we are confronted with many opportunities to make responsible choices, reasonable decisions. These choices and decisions are the molders, the shapers, of who we are becoming. Our identity as women is strengthened each time we thoughtfully make a choice. The action we take through making each choice gives our identity more substance--our wholeness as women is guaranteed through these choices.
Many opportunities to make choices will arise today. I can be thoughtful and make choices that will lead to my greater wholeness.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

If this kind of approach does not catch your husband’s interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself. This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it. Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker. If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate.

p. 112

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

BUILDING A NEW LIFE - Hallucinating and restrained by sheriff's deputies and hospital staff, this once-happy family man received an unexpected gift from God--a firm foundation in sobriety that would hold up through good times and bad.

When I look back now, I think I stopped maturing at fifteen when I started to get drunk with older guys. I wanted to feel at peace with myself and comfortable with other people. I never found it in drinking. The belonging I always wanted I have found in A.A. and in sobriety. I don't think about drinking. God is there. My sponsor is there. All the credit belongs to God. On my own I could not have quit. I know, I tried it.

p. 485

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder--well, we have really disliked or hated them. Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.'s find we need something much better in order to keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.

pp. 92-93

************************************************** *********

Situations I fear are rarely as bad as the fear itself. --unknown




"Growl all day and you'll feel dog tired at night." --Anonymous

"Laughter is as good as jogging for our heart, lungs, and brain." --Gail Grenier Sweet

If you touch, you feel. If you ask, you learn. If you look, you see. If you love, you live. --unknown

People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. --St. Augustine of Hippo

The heart of AA is the act of one person giving to another.

************************************************** *********

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

FREEDOM

"A hungry man is not a free man."
-- Adlai Stevenson

For years I craved food. It was my escape from reality. It stopped the pain, loneliness
and anger --- for a moment. It felt good. Eventually I began to feel bad --- but I could
not stop. I was addicted to sugar and sodium. My freedom was being exchanged for
doughnuts!

I heard a man talk about his compulsion around cocaine and gambling. I asked how he
managed to abstain and he replied: "Talk about it, a day at a time!"




Today I am compulsive about getting well, and I talk about my disease every day. The
price of freedom is vulnerability. God is in the risk. I have taken it.

God, let me experience freedom in the choices I make today.

************************************************** *********

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
John 3:16

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving towards all He has made. Psalm 145:13

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

It is you, not where you are or what you have, that makes the difference. Lord, may I always blossom where I am planted.

Kindness can accomplish that which force won't. Lord, may I pause when I am about to react to irritations and respond as though it is You to whom I speak.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

January 4

The Love of the Fellowship

"Today secure in the love of the fellowship, we can finally look another human being in the eye and be grateful for who we are."
Basic Text p. 89

When we were using, few of us could tolerate looking someone in the eye-we were ashamed of who we were. Our minds were not occupied with anything decent or healthy, and we knew it. Our time, money, and energy weren't spent building loving relationships, sharing with others, or seeking to better our communities. We were trapped in a spiral of obsession and compulsion that went only in one direction: downward.

In recovery, our journey down that spiral path has been cut short. But what is it that has turned us around, drawing us back upward into the open spaces of the wide, free world? The love of the fellowship has done this.

In the company of other addicts, we knew we would not be rejected. By the example of other addicts, we were shown how to begin taking a positive part in the life around us. When we were unsure which way to turn, when we stumbled, when we had to correct a wrong we had done, we knew our fellow members were there to encourage us.

Slowly, we've gotten the feel of our freedom. No longer are we locked up in our disease; we are free to build and grow and share along with everyone else. And when we need support to take our next step, it is there. The security we've found in the love of the fellowship has made our new lives possible.

Just for today: I can look anyone in the eye without shame. I am grateful for the loving support that has made this possible.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A tip-off to an abusive family system is a situation in which nobody ever apologizes. --Karen Shaud
When we get a tip-off, we can open the door to a whole new way of looking at the world. The tip-off about apologies can help us learn to have a healthier family. It is hard to apologize, but with practice, it will get easier. We are learning that we can make mistakes, and admit them, and that other people will accept our apologies. In the same way, we are learning we can accept others' apologies. Apologies are sometimes hard to make. It helps to keep in mind that we make them as much for ourselves and our own growth as for the person we apologize to. We are not worthless just because we make mistakes, but we increase our value t
o ourselves and others by being able to recognize them and apologize.


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is no method or discipline or system of any kind that can ever command the spirit to be present. --Tom Sampon
A man in the process of growth and recovery asks the question, "How shall I develop a relationship with my Higher Power?" The first answer is usually, "You can decide to be open to the spiritual messages that come your way." Some experiences in life can be mastered and directed, as in performing a task or going on a trip. We can have other experiences only by being receptive. They come our way, as in the growing of a friendship or the unpredictable events on a trip.
To be receptive, we must not be so busy with what we can control that we fail to notice all the experiences, which are there for us. Our senses need to be open to see what is around us and hear what is in the air. We must breathe in the beauty and pain of life. When there is a message in our experiences, let us read it and not demand it fit our narrow, logical minds.
Today, I pray that I will be open to receive the spirit on its own terms.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Once I knew that I wanted to be an artist, I had made myself into one. I did not understand that wanting doesn't always lead to action. Many of the women had been raised without the sense that they could mold and shape their own lives, and so, wanting to be an artist (but without the ability to realize their wants) was, for some of them, only an idle fantasy, like wanting to go to the moon.
--Judy Chicago
There are probably not many of us, in this recovery program, who grappled with life as straight on as Judy Chicago did. It is likely we didn't understand that we could mold and shape our lives. How lucky we are to be learning that now with the help of the Twelve Steps and one another. Each day we are confronted with many opportunities to make responsible choices, reasonable decisions. These choices and decisions are the molders, the shapers, of who we are becoming. Our identity as women is strengthened each time we thoughtfully make a choice. The action we take through making each choice gives our identity more substance--our wholeness as women is guaranteed through these choices.
Many opportunities to make choices will arise today. I can be thoughtful and make choices that will lead to my greater wholeness.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Separating from Family Issues
We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between our nuclear family and ourselves. We can separate ourselves from their issues.
Some of us may have family members who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs and who are not in recovery from their addiction.
Some of us may have family members who have unresolved codependency issues. Family members may be addicted to misery, pain, suffering, martyrdom, and victimization. We may have family members who have unresolved abuse issues or unresolved family of origin issues.
We may have family members who are addicted to work, eating, or sex. Our family may be completely enmeshed, or we may have a disconnected family in which the members have little contact.
We may be like our family. We may love our family. But we are separate human beings with individual rights and issues. One of our primary rights is to begin feeling better and recovering, whether or not others in the family choose to do the same.
We do not have to feel guilty about finding happiness and a life that works. And we do not have to take on our family's issues as our own to be loyal and to show we love them.
Often when we begin taking care of ourselves, family members will reverberate with overt and covert attempts to pull us back into the old system and roles. We do not have to go. Their attempts to pull us back are their issues. Taking care of ourselves and becoming healthy and happy does not mean we do not love them. It means we're addressing our issues.
We do not have to judge them because they have issues; nor do we have to allow them to do anything they would like to us just because they are family.
We are free now, free to take care of ourselves with family members. Our freedom starts when we stop denying then issues, and politely, but assertively, hand their stuff back to them - where it belongs - and deal with our own issues.
Today, I will separate myself from family members, lama separate human being, even though I belong to a unit called a family. I have a right to my own issues and growth; my family members have a right to their issues and a right to choose where and when they will deal with these issues. I can learn to detach in love from my family members and their issues. I am willing to work through all necessary feelings in order to accomplish this.


This is your TIME for JOY! Know that it is here and now. --Ruth Fishel

*****************************************

Journey To The Heart

Go with What You Know

The commercial on the radio sang to me as I drove across the Southern California desert. “Don’t just go with the flow. Go with what you know.”

Sometimes answers come from outside us. The universe is abundant in its supply of guidance for us. It can’t wait to share its signals, teachings, lessons, and words of wisdom. It is eager to give us guidance if we just watch, wait, and listen. Sometimes this guidance comes from people we know, other times from people we barely know. But even when this help comes from those we are closest to and love most, the answer must resonate with that place deep inside us. It must resonate with our core. It must ring true for us.

Listen to those around you. Listen to the guidance of the universe and all the voices it uses to speak to you. But always trust yourself. Trust your inner voice. Trust what you know, because ultimately your path will bring you back to that place. No matter what you do, if it’s not right for you, you will need to return to your center, your place of peace, and figure out the action that is right.

It’s good to go with the flow. But it’s better to go with what you know– what you know to be true for you. Trusting yourself is the ultimate lesson. It’s where all the guidance leads.

*****************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Know when to compromise

Sometimes compromise is important. Sometimes it’s better to give in to someone else’s wishes in order to have fun as a group or as a couple, or for the benefits of the team. Sometimes compromise is dangerous. We need to guard against compromising our standards to gain the approval or love of someone else.

Decide when you can, and when you cannot compromise. If it’s not harmful and you are ambivalent about a decision, then compromise. If it could lead to breaking your values, compromise isn’t a good idea.

Is it okay to have lunch with an attractive colleague if you’re married? Possibly, but not if lunch will lead to dinner, which then leads to more time spent together, culminating in an affair. Is it okay to go to the bar with friends after work? Maybe, but not if it leads to one rationalized decision after another until you have broken your commitment to stay sober.

Remember that what may be an acceptable compromise for one person might not be acceptable for you. Know your limits, know your values, and be aware of the dangers that can come from compromising them.

God, help me be aware of my limits. Give me the strength not to compromise the values that I need to help me on my path.

*****************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

For a good part of my life, I saw things mostly in negative terms. Everything was serious, heavy, or just plain awful. Perhaps now I can truly change my attitude, searching out the winners in The Program who have learned how to live comfortably in the real world — without numbing their brains with mood-altering chemicals. If things get rough today, can I take a quiet moment and say to myself, as the philosopher Homer once said, “Bear patiently, my heart — for you have suffered heavier things…”?

Today I Pray

May the peace of God that passes all human understanding fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living — even for life’s trials — cancel out my old negative attitudes in heart-heavy moments, help to remind me that my heart was once much heavier still.

Today I Will Remember

I, to, am a winner.

*****************************************

One More Day

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.
– Faith Baldwin

Each stage of life brings its own gifts. Every age gives us a chance to examine where we are right now. When we were young, many of us still insisted that we could change the world. We even thought we could change people. The next stage in life may have given us the gift of seeing that we could only change ourselves.

Whatever stage we are in right now is the perfect place to reassess our priorities again. It has become obvious to us by now which things we cannot change, and are busily accepting that truth.

Time itself alters us and our expectations. The time we have lived has already created change, and the passing of time will create more. The alterations we make today can help us accept this stage in life as being the best place to be.

Now is the time to alter my expectations of myself, to tailor them to my current needs.

************************************

Food For Thought

Three Meals a Day

For most of us, abstinence from compulsive overeating means three measured meals a day with nothing in between. Before we joined OA we often ate one enormous meal, all day long. Through this program, we find the discipline to eat according to our needs rather than our self-destructive cravings.

Unless a doctor has told us differently, we do not need more than three meals a day. As we practice this pattern, we retrain our overgrown appetites and learn to function in the real world. We can eat with our families instead of secretly snacking and bingeing.

We plan our three meals for the day, write them down, and report them to our food sponsor. Then, instead of nibbling here and there and thinking about food all day, we can forget about eating except when it is time for a planned, measured meal. As we acquire disciplined eating habits, we find that other areas of our lives become more ordered and productive. Freed from the bondage of self-will and impulse, we are guided by the sure hand of our Higher Power.

I am grateful for the order and sanity OA has brought into my life.

************************************************** *********

One Day At A Time

HAPPINESS

Happiness is an achievement brought about by inner productiveness.
People succeed at being happy by building a liking for themselves.

Erich Fromm

It has been said that if one of us ever treated another human being the way we treated ourselves, we would be liable for criminal charges. I did not treat myself as a friend, someone I loved; I constantly fed into my unhappiness.

Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W. was asked, shortly before he died, to sum up the program in the lowest common denominator. He replied, "Get right with yourself, with God, then with your neighbor." Therefore, it stands to reason that I must start making friends with myself. I must treat myself with love and dignity, and the result will be happiness. To be happy, joyous, and free is the by-product of obedience to the program.

One Day at a Time . . .
Am I going to try being happy?
Am I going to make friends with myself?
If not today, when?

~ Jeremiah ~

************************************************** *********

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. - Pg. 118 - To Wives

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

The reality of our illness is simple; we have it! Once we see that we have the disease of chemical dependency, then we can admit that we are addicted to whatever, and then we can accept the help we are offered.

I accept my humanness and accept my non-perfection in order to accept the help of those in recovery.

Today

I will live in the present grateful to be alive and in this radiant world for one more day. Living in the present brings its own perspective. What is not worth getting preoccupied about falls away while what is truly meaningful and important rises up and into focus. I am here to appreciate and live life, to grow, to share my heart and soul with those around me. If I miss today, I will not get it back. If I allow it to work its beauty inside of me, it will fertilize tomorrow's garden. Today is what I know I have. All of life is here, woven into the atoms of the world that surrounds me. If I am with this day, I am with all of life.

I am part of an alive universe.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Wet the bed and blame the blanket-that is the life we led. With the Twelve Steps, we learn that problems are basically of our own making.

At the end of BLAME is ME.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

UFO's: Unidentified Fear Objects.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

This is your TIME for JOY! Know that it is here and now.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

We have these two forces; this insatiable thirst, compulsion, hunger, yearning, call it what you will. We don't know what we're looking for but we're searching. And the other force; the escape. We're running, not knowing what from. - Eddie E.
__________________