What Message To Carry At AA Meetings?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Great post, thanks for all your shares recently, I enjoy a good discussion..
The message that I like to share that was huge to me at my first meeting Would be HOPE! When I attending my first meeting and said it was my first meeting ever.. the people, all the people in the room redirected the whole meeting to a newcomers meeting, steps 1, 2 3 especially talking to me and gave me so much needed love and hope!! I’ve never seen a pink clouds but my first meeting really gave me so much HOPE..
I try to extend the same welcome to the new person I was given, some stick around some don’t.. I will always be engaged in the fellowship till I’m gone, absolutely love it!!
SR changed my life too! Big advocate!
The message that I like to share that was huge to me at my first meeting Would be HOPE! When I attending my first meeting and said it was my first meeting ever.. the people, all the people in the room redirected the whole meeting to a newcomers meeting, steps 1, 2 3 especially talking to me and gave me so much needed love and hope!! I’ve never seen a pink clouds but my first meeting really gave me so much HOPE..
I try to extend the same welcome to the new person I was given, some stick around some don’t.. I will always be engaged in the fellowship till I’m gone, absolutely love it!!
SR changed my life too! Big advocate!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by DriGuy 
^^^Yes. "Sobriety first" should be the message. You might not mention AA at all in that message, or at least not in a way that puts it second to anything, including sobriety itself. I fully understand what you mean, and totally agree, but in my group that would have offended some members, probably not a majority, but a large minority to some degree at least.
If you are chairing a meeting, it's probably best to avoid things which can be misconstrued as challenge or controversy. I'd try to stay within the philosophy and methodology, and let others decide for themselves which parts they can believe or accept. Mentioning that there are alternatives might be OK, because the AA program itself does not deny other alternatives, although it does ignore them. But that might be a dicey area.
Being politically safe, also depends on the AA group. Some are more flexible in their thinking than others. My group was very rigid, and I bumped heads with my group a few times, but never when I was chairing a meeting. I think the chairman's function should probably be different from your individual concerns.
If you are chairing a meeting, it's probably best to avoid things which can be misconstrued as challenge or controversy. I'd try to stay within the philosophy and methodology, and let others decide for themselves which parts they can believe or accept. Mentioning that there are alternatives might be OK, because the AA program itself does not deny other alternatives, although it does ignore them. But that might be a dicey area.
Being politically safe, also depends on the AA group. Some are more flexible in their thinking than others. My group was very rigid, and I bumped heads with my group a few times, but never when I was chairing a meeting. I think the chairman's function should probably be different from your individual concerns.
While I don't consider myself a BB thumper I agree it's generally not appropriate to discuss alternative methods of sobriety during a meeting. If someone is using Course of Miracles as their primary recovery method and AA is more fellowship based o.k.
But discuss this with the newcomer after the meeting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by August252015
At the end of the day there is ONE thing you need to go to an AA meeting: a desire to quit drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
around here, the person chairing a meeting does not share as such.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by fini
around here, the person chairing a meeting does not share as such.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
There's that too.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Good subject AAPJ and not too hard to answer. The book says clearly in step 12 that we carry "this" message to alcoholics. Part of the message found on page 95 is:
"If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us."
While it is true plenty of "people" stop drinking without AA, and good for them too, In forty years I only met one alcoholic of my type, with 20 years sober, who did it on his own. I can name quite a few, again of my type, who died trying.
In the modern definition, alcohol use disorder is a very broad spectrum. Experts have told me that there are a small number or proportion of sufferers at the extreme end of the scale for whom some kind of "conversion experience" is the only known solution. That is the AA solution described in scientific terms, but, as stated above we have no monopoly on God.
Rowland H whose spiritual experience developed from advice from Carl Jung and became the model for AA, was never himself a member of AA.
A drinking problem may have many solutions, but if it develops to chronic alcoholism, especially in the later stages, the fewer the recovery options seem to be.
"If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us."
While it is true plenty of "people" stop drinking without AA, and good for them too, In forty years I only met one alcoholic of my type, with 20 years sober, who did it on his own. I can name quite a few, again of my type, who died trying.
In the modern definition, alcohol use disorder is a very broad spectrum. Experts have told me that there are a small number or proportion of sufferers at the extreme end of the scale for whom some kind of "conversion experience" is the only known solution. That is the AA solution described in scientific terms, but, as stated above we have no monopoly on God.
Rowland H whose spiritual experience developed from advice from Carl Jung and became the model for AA, was never himself a member of AA.
A drinking problem may have many solutions, but if it develops to chronic alcoholism, especially in the later stages, the fewer the recovery options seem to be.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
."The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism."
This is a pretty good message. "We have A way out" IME best tried after all else has failed.
This is a pretty good message. "We have A way out" IME best tried after all else has failed.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
[QUOTE=AAPJ;7307762 I think we lose a lot of people who come into the rooms, hear this is the only way to recover and leave the rooms. I think AA is an excellent way for many of us to recover but it's not the only way.
[/QUOTE]
We deal in attraction rather than promotion -
if ppl are sharing "unattractively" at a meeting, that meeting will start to die off. I see this as a healthy thing for AA as a whole, not as a "too bad, every meeting should go on forever" kind of thing.
While it's not the only way, an AA meeting should be built around our primary purpose - staying sober and helping others to achieve sobriety. If SMART helped, go to SMART.........but don't share AA at SMART - nor should we share other programs at AA.
and both of those ^^^ hinge back upon the first tradition - our common welfare comes first - personal recovery depends upon AA unity. Do one thing in AA and do it well.....not becasue it's cool or "in" but because our COMMON welfare depends upon it as does our own personal welfare.
Not every one likes those "rules" and that's ok. There's no requirement to stay. We're all free to leave anytime we want. For me, AA and what I thought recovery was looked horrible at first so I avoided it. Eventually I got the willingness to try it but that was only after I'd tried all the non-AA "junk" I'd been hearing at meetings and found it was of no use to me.
[/QUOTE]
We deal in attraction rather than promotion -
if ppl are sharing "unattractively" at a meeting, that meeting will start to die off. I see this as a healthy thing for AA as a whole, not as a "too bad, every meeting should go on forever" kind of thing.
While it's not the only way, an AA meeting should be built around our primary purpose - staying sober and helping others to achieve sobriety. If SMART helped, go to SMART.........but don't share AA at SMART - nor should we share other programs at AA.
and both of those ^^^ hinge back upon the first tradition - our common welfare comes first - personal recovery depends upon AA unity. Do one thing in AA and do it well.....not becasue it's cool or "in" but because our COMMON welfare depends upon it as does our own personal welfare.
Not every one likes those "rules" and that's ok. There's no requirement to stay. We're all free to leave anytime we want. For me, AA and what I thought recovery was looked horrible at first so I avoided it. Eventually I got the willingness to try it but that was only after I'd tried all the non-AA "junk" I'd been hearing at meetings and found it was of no use to me.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I wonder if the "AA is the only way" impression is really a misunderstanding in the sense that AA does not offer a range of solutions, only one that worked for us. You could sum it up reasonably accurately by saying the main purpose of the book/program is to put you in contact with a Power greater than yourself, that will solve your problem. These points may have limited appeal in the secular world of personal empowerment in which we now live.
Existing members have tried every imaginable remedy without success. It is rare that we here of something that hasn't already been tried by some of us.
We say to the new man or women, "doubtless you want to know what you have to do?", and in answer we say "we will tell you what we have done". And among those who have recovered from that seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, the recovery experience is remarkably similar.
On arrival, none of us like the look of the program nor what it seemed to ask of us. We looked for easier softer ways, and it wasn't easy to come to the realization that there were none. In fact that might have been the lowest point of our journey.
Existing members have tried every imaginable remedy without success. It is rare that we here of something that hasn't already been tried by some of us.
We say to the new man or women, "doubtless you want to know what you have to do?", and in answer we say "we will tell you what we have done". And among those who have recovered from that seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, the recovery experience is remarkably similar.
On arrival, none of us like the look of the program nor what it seemed to ask of us. We looked for easier softer ways, and it wasn't easy to come to the realization that there were none. In fact that might have been the lowest point of our journey.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Our charter is to share our experience. All I know is that since I became an active member of the fellowship, I have not had a drink. Could I have done it some other way? Perhaps. Will I try some other program? I am open to any way to broaden my sobriety and conscious contact. But I do not anticipate dropping AA entirely for some other approach - I can't drink any less than I am now, and why would I risk my life trying something else that under the best of circumstances can only give me what I already have?
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
Originally Posted by AAPJ
And I don't think I can just brush off the non AA folks as "dry drunks".
I was a dry drunk once. But, that's my own inventory of myself (in hindsight).
i was able to change by carrying on with the 12 steps of AA.
BTW, i have a sponsee who, in addtion to AA, is using two other recovery groups to maintain his sobriety.
He is very determined.
i wouldn't criticise other recovery programmes any more than i would criticise the psychatric profession -- even though i could say that it failed me. In reality, i failed myself through lack of honesty.
When we are free of the bondage of self, we are also free to accept others without judgement.
To each her own.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
You can disregard a lot of what you hear in meetings.
The AA big book makes it clear that not everyone needs a program to get off the booze, there are different categories of drinkers / alcoholic and that AA was originally set up to deal with alcoholics of the 'hopeless' variety.
In other words, the ones that have tried for a long period of time to control or stop their drinking and the results are pitiful and it actually gets worse.
You should probably give the book a read sometime 😉
The AA big book makes it clear that not everyone needs a program to get off the booze, there are different categories of drinkers / alcoholic and that AA was originally set up to deal with alcoholics of the 'hopeless' variety.
In other words, the ones that have tried for a long period of time to control or stop their drinking and the results are pitiful and it actually gets worse.
You should probably give the book a read sometime 😉
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
I'm not in AA but I certainly don't consider myself a "dry drunk." There's more than one road to lasting sobriety. An AA member who posts at SR (and he's posted in this thread!) has been instrumental in my recovery. I've gotten sober using SR only.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by fini
around here, the person chairing a meeting does not share as such.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
they call on others to share.
and there is no requirement for a desire to stop drinking in order to attend a meeting; that is the requirement for membership.
folks might be attending for a variety of reasons, none of which might be a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
As I've posted before, if SR hadn't worked for me, or if I stumble some time in the future, AA will be the next logical step for me.
I should add that I don't think SR would have worked so well for me if Dave hadn't reached out to me in my early recovery. We are now friends IRL, and that really made the difference in my recovery.
August25 is also a great inspiration to me.
I should add that I don't think SR would have worked so well for me if Dave hadn't reached out to me in my early recovery. We are now friends IRL, and that really made the difference in my recovery.
August25 is also a great inspiration to me.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Something I have learned and believe in with all my being is that what every single one of us is talking about, needs and hopefully finds is connection.
Doesn't matter how, or truly "why" - but achieving a connection with others is essential to a good life in recovery.
Doesn't matter how, or truly "why" - but achieving a connection with others is essential to a good life in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Perhaps the strongest message carried to me at meetings was that there is a way out of the situation I was in. And that I never had to feel the way I was feeling again if I could just listen a bit to people that came before me.
AA doesn’t have the ONLY way out of alcoholism, but it does have A way out. And for me, sitting in a room full of mostly sober people that suffer from the same affliction that I do, and seeing that they seem to be doing ok reminds me that perhaps I can be ok too.
AA doesn’t have the ONLY way out of alcoholism, but it does have A way out. And for me, sitting in a room full of mostly sober people that suffer from the same affliction that I do, and seeing that they seem to be doing ok reminds me that perhaps I can be ok too.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^Exactly! I recall hearing early on to "look for the people who have what I want." I saw plenty of people who laughed and seemed happy with themselves along with being honest about their lives (then and now) and that's where I wanted to go.
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