DayTrader

that group kinda/sorta sounds like how a lot of groups at "AA clubhouses"are set up. And I used quoted because per the traditions, AA proper doesn't own or operate what most of us call aa clubhouses. A person or group owns them and their "business" is being open to AA and geared towards hosting AA meetings. That does jive with the traditions and donations there go to the club.....not necessarily to AA (area, district, NY, etc.....). Nothing wrong there, as far AS I AM CONCERNED. Now for you.....or someone else......or that guy or that girl over there... it may be an issue of contentions. That's fair, they're not required to be here, not required to accept it. They're welcome to not attend, not donate money, whatever.

IMO, something's telling you this group may not be right for you. That's ok, doesn't mean they're wrong or shady.....just that it's not for you. You can move on or stay there. Either way, you've got a great entry for column 1 in your next inventory and I'd bet heavily that there's some important stuff in there for you to learn.

Libby06

Agreed. With much contemplations, and reading and rereading the posts here, I have realized the problem is indeed in me. They are all out for the common good of their group. Shady was definitely not the right word. Thank you everyone for your insight. My sponsor pointed out a lot of what I read here

August252015

Libby, I love that. And you helped me with this question and the thread - I haven't been compelled or needed to look at this aspect of any meetings I attend. But since I plan to die sober, it certainly might come up

SoberCAH

I'm glad that you brought this topic up and that you have arrived at your answer, which is what I would have also likely concluded.

It sounds like the group hierarchy is, at a minimum, sloppy in its financial disclosure and non-egalitarian, both of which can trigger suspicion.

One thing I always have to remind myself when a person or group in AA irritates me or concerns me, and that is that we are all drunks.

We're not bonded (i.e. by a bonding company) financial types, we're not Methodist counselors (who are schooled in matters involving faith), and we're not, as a group, trustworthy (at least not until we get good and sober).

As a result, I lower my expectations of the type of behaviour and characters that I see in AA meetings.

I have never really done service work as an Intergroup rep or anything like that, even though I do a good bit of other types of service work.

As a result, when I see someone in a meeting who still seems not trustworthy, I keep my distance unless I think I can be helpful talking to him (if it's a her, I let female group members try to help).

Dave42001

Hi Libby, saw this in the daily Readings this week and wanted to share..


************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Our Protective Mantle, p. 316

Almost every newspaper reporter who covers A.A. complains, at first,
of the difficulty of writing his story without names. But he quickly
forgets this difficulty when he realizes that here is a group of people
who care nothing for acclaim.

Probably this is the first time in his life he has ever reported on an
organization that wants no personalized publicity. Cynic though he
may be, this obvious sincerity quickly transforms him into a friend of
A.A.

<< << << >> >> >>

Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we try to give up our natural desires
for personal distinction as A.A. members, both among fellow alcoholics
and before the general public. As we lay aside these very human
aspirations, we believe that each of us takes part in the weaving of a
protective mantle which covers our whole Society and under which we
may grow and work in unity.

1. Grapevine, March 1946
2. 12 & 12, p. 187

************************************************** *********

Libby06

Thanks Dave. I love that.

I have learned a great deal about how groups work, including my own by reaching out here..

While I don't agree with some of the behaviors, I have gained first hand knowledge of why "Principles before personalities" is in the traditions. Makes a lot of sense.

I am still attending my home group, but have learned that, as for now, I am not good at business meetings and the like, so Im just there for the primary purpose, and to treat my alcoholism.

I did, however feel a little guilty "talking smack" about my fellows in here. They did help save my life after all, but I wanted an outside perspective. Not sure if I said it before, but you guys rock.

I love my AA family, here and across the world!

Ken33xx

You initially wrote:

I have some legitimate questions about my home group. It is in a building that is owned by a "corporation" by the same name, with board members. No one is forthcoming with exactly who the board members are and the lion share of all incoming money goes to this "corporation".

Was this ever addressed?

Libby06

Not so much Ken.. I believe what they bring in through the basket doesnt cover the expenses, so someone is covering the rest, and its not me, so I just dropped it and stopped asking questions.

There is a pecking order there for sure. The people paying the bills are on the board, and no changes are made unless they come up with the idea. For example..changing the time of a meeting, starting a new meeting, adding a specific step meeting.

You would think it simple, bring it up at the business meeting, have a vote, go with it. Its not like that though. It stirred up some resentments, so Im just going to let my service position expire, and accept what the rest of the AA community already knows...thats just how its done there and if you dont like it, or fall in line, find a new group.

So, nope, not a solution, but you guys let me talk about it and I feel better without a whole big thing down there.

Ken33xx

So, true.

Good idea to stay away from the drama.