Dave42001

Daily Reflections

DAILY MONITORING

Continued to take personal inventory. . . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step--
"every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause,
there is something wrong with us"--also tells me that
there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable
others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting
negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I
will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility,
of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of
my own reality. When I take my daily inventory, I know
that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I
am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most
is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her,
and in my heart, I should thank that person.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group?
That is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I



set that person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my
house on sand. A.A. members have "clay feet." They are all
only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long they
have been in A.A. This has been proved to be true more than
once. It's not fair to any member to be singled out as a
leader in A A. and to always quote that member on the A.A.



program. If that person should fail, where would I be?

Meditation For The Day

You must always remember that you are weak but that God is
strong. God knows all about your weakness. He hears every



cry for mercy, every sign of weakness, every plea for help,
every sorrow over failure, every weakness felt and expressed.
We only fail when we trust too much to our own strength. Do



not feel bad about your weakness. When you are weak, that is
when God is strong to help you. Trust God enough, and your
weakness will not matter. God is always strong to save.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may learn to lean on God's strength.
I pray that I may know that my weakness is God's opportunity.

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As Bill Sees It

Speak Up Without Fear, p.278

Few of us are anonymous so far as our daily contacts go. We have
dropped anonymity at this level because we think our friends and
associates ought to know about A.A. and what it has done for us. We



also wish to lose the fear of admitting that we are alcoholics. Though
we earnestly request reporters not to disclose our identities, we
frequently speak before semipublic gatherings. We wish to convince
audiences that our alcoholism is a sickness we no longer fear to discuss
before anyone.

If, however, we venture beyond this limit, we shall surely lose the principle
of anonymity forever. If every A.A. felt free to publish his own name, picture,
and story, we would soon be launched upon a vast orgy of personal publicity.

********************************

"While the so-called public meeting is questioned by many A.A. members,
I favor it myself providing only that anonymity is respected in press reports



and that we ask nothing for ourselves except understanding."

1. Grapevine, January 1946
2. Letter, 1949

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Walk In Dry Places

Taming the instincts.
Orderly direction
Though alcoholics can appear to have serious shortcomings, these problems
are really only misguided attempts to satisfy needs that must be met. In the
12 Step program, we do not deny our human needs. We realize, however, that
these needs must be met in moral, constructive ways. Falso methods of meeting
needs will bring false, harmful results.
We can meet our needs in an orderly manner by turning to our Higher Power and
following the slow and impractical, but over the longer term we will come to see that
it is the right way to live. Our instinctive needs are proper and God-given, but they
must not run wild in our lives. Living sober also means taming our instincts.
I'll not be surprised by the various needs I may feel today. I am committed, however,
to a moral and principled response to these needs.

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Keep It Simple

We never thought we could get old.---Bob Dylan
Here we are no longer children. Yet we’re not quite grown up either. At least,
we don’t always feels grown up. Our program helps us accept the stages of our life.



And the child in our heart is getting happier. In some ways, we feel younger everyday.
We’re also starting to feel older and wiser. It feels good. We’re not so afraid of the
world, because we’re learning better ways to live in it. We can learn by having friends
who teach us to stay young at heart.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be the best I can be, at the age I am today.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll call an older friend and ask him or her this question:
“What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about life since you were my age?”

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Each Day a New Beginning

There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold.
--Ruth P. Freedman
We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single
event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something
valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are
long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today
takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.
Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process
and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives



have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll
discover freedom.
Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them
as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish
when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and
leave the outcome where it belongs.
I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will
do my part, and no more.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION

The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept he home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?”

p. 82

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

SAFE HAVEN - This A.A. found that the process of discovering who he really was began with knowing who he didn't want to be.

There is a saying that alcoholics either get sobered up, locked up, or covered up. Since I was not genuinely willing to do what it took to get sobered up, I had the other options to face. I never dreamed it would happen so quickly.
pp. 455-456

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done. Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.

pp. 57-58

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With God everyday,
I make my way.
I hold on to God’s hand
As I journey through this land.
--Tammy

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Do not let a desire for wealth cause you to become so consumed by your
work that you prevent happiness for yourself and your family. Happiness is foremost. A
look filled with understanding, and accepting smile, a loving word, a meal shared in
warmth and awareness are the things which create happiness in the present moment. By
nourishing awareness in the present moment, you can avoid causing suffering to yourself
and those around you.
--Thich Nhat Hanh

"No matter how much you talk to your plant, if you don't water it, it's going to die."
--Mike Perry

Thoughts and beliefs are nothing without action"
--James A. Ray

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

POWER

"The first and great
commandment is 'Don't let them
scare you.'"
-- Elmer Davis

In my sobriety I still need to deal with fear. A fear of people, a fear of not being good
enough, a fear of saying the wrong thing, a fear of not looking "good enough" --- fear still
haunts me in sobriety.

However, my recovery also tells me that I am a child of God. I am a beautiful and
powerful human being because God not only made me, but has shared something of His
precious divinity with me. I am good enough. In Him I can afford to risk. Love must begin
with the recognition of self.

Today I must remember that people are not "out to get me". I need not make myself the
victim. People are much the same inside, and we all need each other to survive.

Thank You for the power to live with my fear.

************************************************** *********

Let them give thanks for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for
men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
Psalm 107:8-9

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you."
Psalm 55:22

We love Him, because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19

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Daily Inspiration

Be grateful for the simple things that you can do such as being able to see, to walk, to have
health and to be able to face life with peace of mind. Lord, on a daily basis I will count my
many unnamed blessings.

Smile. If you know that God is with you and will never fail you, then you always have every
reason to smile. Lord, my heart seeks You and clings to You and I rejoice.

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NA Just For Today

Depending On Our Higher Power

"As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the innerstrength we get in our relationship with Him."

Basic Text pp.67-68
For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didn't want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.

When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didn't have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap "a Power greater than ourselves." However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Power - we could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.

The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldn't humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.

Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.

pg. 293

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich
No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness. Envy magnifies molehills into mountains.
Just how foolish envy truly is becomes clear when we think of it as a row of hooks on which to hang grudges. When we envy others, especially our family members, we blind ourselves to the good we could see in all people. We are ignoring life's flowers to gather bouquets of weeds.
When we envy the accomplishments or possessions of another, we will be better off if we look to our own prized possessions, to those things in ourselves that no one else has in exactly the same way.
What riches do I have within and around me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I've got to get out. --Marlon Brando
How much acceptance is enough for us? Do we feel one person's criticism undermines the acceptance of 199 others? Do we get so focused on one person's negative response to us that we cannot hear the positive? If we are unable to accept criticism from others, it becomes a sink without a plug, draining away all the positives we naturally have in our life.
As we become spiritual men, we're able to detach from negative and critical messages. We must still hear them. We must still listen to their messages because we can learn from them. But we can separate ourselves from the negative message. We can make a mistake. Someone can dislike us. But we do not give up our places as equal, worthwhile men for any reason.
God, I pray for your support when my own strength to stand up for myself falters.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. --Ruth P. Freedman
We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.
Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom.
Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs.
I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Naivete
We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don't have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes!
Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific.
When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That's okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don't want, what we won't tolerate, and how to own our power.
We can thank them for what we have learned.
How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don't, we're in trouble.
There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us.
Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries.


I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting. If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well. Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 7
Value the Power of Seeing

I have learned a valuable tool. It is one of the easiest and most powerful tools I’ve been given. I call it the power of seeing.

It is the simple act of observing myself: what I do, how I react, how I respond to others. It is particularly useful in situations that have gotten confused or sticky and I don’t know what to do to become unstuck. When I feel overwhelmed or a situation gets too difficult and I can’t see my way through, I watch myself. It helps.

Learn to observe yourself. Let yourself really see and be present in the moment in the situation you’re in. Watch yourself as a neutral observer would, without judgement. Try to see the other person in the same way. Watch how the two of you interact, respond to each other. Watch yourself think and feel. See the actions you take. You don’t have to talk about what you’re doing; it’s better if you don’t. Just stay with yourself. Do it once. Do it twice. Then do it again.

Soon you’ll begin to see something else: you’ll begin to see the situation change, evolve, take a turn for the better. The power of seeing is one most of us can easily claim. It helps, heals, and sometimes produces miracles. Physicists have deicided that the act of observing can impact the behavior, appearance, or energy of whatever is being observed. How we look at someone, including ourselves, can have an impact, cause a change.

There’s power in seeing. There’s even more power in seeing with the eyes of love.

*****

more language of letting go
Tell yourself how simple it is

Here's another example about the power of simplification.

For years, I heard about hiking. It sounded so elusive, difficult, and mysterious. I didn't do it, but I thought about hiking wistfully. One day, a friend asked me to go hiking with him. "Sure," I said. As the day of our hike approached, I began thinking things through. I was getting a little nervous. What if I couldn't do it well enough? What if I didn't know how to do it at all?

Don't be ridiculous, I scolded myself. You're making this much more complicated than it really is. Hiking is just walking, and you've been doing that since you were ten months old.

The next day, I arose at 6:00 A.M., and my friend and I left for our hike. I followed my friend as he began walking up the steep incline.

Just walk, I told myself after the first ten steps. Put one foot in front of another. Walk like you've done all your life.

I didn't make it to the top of the mountain that day, but I made it almost halfway.

Is there something you've wanted to do but have put off because it sounds too difficult and complicated? Are you saying no to something in your life that you'd like to say yes to, but it seems elusive and out of your reach? Try reducing the task or activity to its simplest form.

I have a friend who hadn't dated for years. One day, a girl he liked asked him to go to the movies. He was anxious and nervous.

"Going to a movie is just sitting down and staring at the screen, then getting up and going home when you've finished," I said. "I think you can do that."

"You're right," he said. He went and had a great time.

Sometimes we can scare ourselves out of doing the easiest thing in life. Yes, hiking involves more than walking. And going on a date with someone involves a little more than sitting and staring at a screen. But not that much more. Simplify things. Bring them down to their most manageable level. Instead of talking yourself out of living, learn to talk yourself into it.

God, give me the courage to fully live my life. Help me deliberately talk myself into doing things, instead of scaring myself away.

*****

Avoiding Negative Vibrations
Taking on the Energy of Others

There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best.

There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this.

While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word “serenity” itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I’ve since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. My favorite definition is, “Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us.” Is that a state of mind worth aiming for?

Today I Pray

may I notice that “serenity” comes first, ahead of “courage” and “wisdom,” in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer. May I believe that “serenity” must also come first in my life. I must have the balance, realistic outlook and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of action and decision-making that will bring order to my existence.

Today I Will Remember

Serenity comes first.

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One More Day

Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light.
– Sanaya Roman

Many of us have wondered whether we should begin using adaptive living aids openly. We worry about what people would think if they saw us using equipment that brands us as handicapped. We fear embarrassment. Some folks never solve the problem, and they stay at home, trapped by their fears of being noticed, of being different. It’s difficult to forfeit the anonymity of being the same as everyone else.

One thing is certain — without special gadgets, we have to ask for help. So, with foresight and a fierce sense of independence, many of us grasp any opportunity to “do” for ourselves. We can use aids because they will assist and support our zest for life.

I will risk being different. By using adaptive devices I can remain more independent.

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Food For Thought

Old Anxieties

The causes of our past anxieties may no longer be operative. Compulsive eating behavior, however, brings back these anxieties in full force. Our weight may be normal, but we are never safe from the danger of personality disintegration brought on by a return, however slight, to compulsive overeating habits.

If we are to maintain our sanity and our sobriety, we must continue to abstain completely from all patterns of thinking and behavior associated with overeating. We have become new people. Daily we grow stronger and freer from old fears and anxieties. The new behavior, which gives us this new freedom, is abstinence. Without abstinence, we will again be overwhelmed and incapacitated by irrational fear and anxiety.

To be alive is to experience a certain amount of anxiety. We will never be completely rid of all fear. As long as we are abstaining, however, and relying on our Higher Power instead of ourselves, we will be given the confidence and serenity we need.

I turn over to You my anxieties.

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One Day At A Time

WISDOM
“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom
when it becomes too proud to weep,
too grave to laugh,
and too selfish to seek other than itself.”
Kahlil Gibran

When I heard the serenity prayer at the first OA meeting I attended, I didn’t understand what it meant to accept what I couldn’t change, have courage to change the things I could, and wisdom to know the difference. I said it at each meeting and hoped that eventually I would somehow find that wisdom. It was quite some time into my recovery when I finally understood what having wisdom really meant.

Before Program, I never accepted things or people the way they were. I felt paralyzed by my fears about what wasn’t working in my life. This fear kept me from seeing what I could change, or even try to change, in my life.

I finally realized that before coming into the Program I had put on a mask and never let anyone know the real me. I didn’t know how to laugh or cry, and I certainly never knew how to reach out to others because it was always about me and my unfortunate life.

But once I finally allowed myself to be real and vulnerable with others, miracles began to happen. I became more willing to accept people and places as exactly the way they should be at that time. I was able to walk through my fears and learn what I could change in my life. To my delight, when I became more vulnerable to others it didn’t make me weak; rather, I felt a strength and power flow through me and I became more able to know the difference between what I could or couldn’t change, and for me, that is wisdom.

One day at a time...
May I always be willing to know the difference between what I can and cannot change.
~ Sharon S.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. - Pgs. 72-73 - Into Action

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

'First Things First' is definitely a good philosophy but in the third week of recovery it seems impossible. For us at this time the ONLY thing we have to do is stay away from that first fix, pill, or drink.

Whatever problems I think I have, the first and most important consideration is to stay away from that first fix, pill, snort, or drink!

Putting in the Elbow Grease

I will be willing to do the daily work that is required to have the life I want to have. A good life is brought forth through many doors. The door of visualization, the door or seeing and the door of work. As I progress along my path I will learn how to 'work smarter'. How to use my energies more efficiently and waste less time needlessly. I'll learn how to get out of my own way and let my energies flow more freely. I'll learn how to listen to others and make my own decisions, how to have boundaries that are porous and flexible rather than either rigid or weak. I will find my sense of self and be able to sustain it even in the presence of others. I'll develop strength, wisdom, patience and compassion. I will develop my own unique gifts and strengths.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Why wonder why? Why ask why? The 'why' questions spring from only one place inside: self-pity. The questions to ask are the 'how' questions. The right questions contain clues to the answers we need.

When I ask the right question, I get the right answer.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Keep an unmade mind instead of a mind made up.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks.

Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I'm not responsible for my next thought, only my next action. Anon.
__________________