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Old 10-05-2019, 10:42 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Interesting thread which I have quickly glanced through hoping that someone might let you into the secret. Perhaps I could use Bill's words:

" I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. "

I saw you work 10 and 11 but no mention of 12. Working with others, one to one, 12 stepping and, for want of a better word, sponsoring, is where its at. If you are not active there you are missing 90% of the fun. Think of recovery as a three legged stool, if you are in the recovery portion, working steps, in the unity bit by going to meetings, but not active in our main service of carrying the message to the alcoholic, then you would be sitting on a two legged stool. It is possible to stay seated and not fall off, but it is not easy or comfortable and requires constant effort. A tough way to live.
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tomsteve (10-07-2019)
Old 10-09-2019, 04:27 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Interesting thread which I have quickly glanced through hoping that someone might let you into the secret. Perhaps I could use Bill's words:

" I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. "

I saw you work 10 and 11 but no mention of 12. Working with others, one to one, 12 stepping and, for want of a better word, sponsoring, is where its at. If you are not active there you are missing 90% of the fun. Think of recovery as a three legged stool, if you are in the recovery portion, working steps, in the unity bit by going to meetings, but not active in our main service of carrying the message to the alcoholic, then you would be sitting on a two legged stool. It is possible to stay seated and not fall off, but it is not easy or comfortable and requires constant effort. A tough way to live.
No, I'm not good about 12. There are two people I know who are working on their sobriety, but do not want to do AA. But they talk to me. So I talk AA to them, and they don't really know it's AA, lol. In the rooms, though, I've never sponsored anyone through all the steps. A long time ago, I helped a couple of people with 1-3, but that was as far as they got. It's definitely a failing of mine. I suppose that's why I stress so much about sharing in meetings.
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AAPJ (10-25-2019)
Old 10-09-2019, 06:17 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Gal,
ha!
somebody talked AA to me without me knowing he was talking AA to me. later on i realized that he had met me exactly where i was at, in language that made sense to me of myself and my alcoholism, and it set me on the road to doing the stepstuff.
eventually
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Old 10-16-2019, 06:05 PM   #24 (permalink)
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No, I'm not good about 12. There are two people I know who are working on their sobriety, but do not want to do AA. But they talk to me. So I talk AA to them, and they don't really know it's AA, lol. In the rooms, though, I've never sponsored anyone through all the steps. A long time ago, I helped a couple of people with 1-3, but that was as far as they got. It's definitely a failing of mine. I suppose that's why I stress so much about sharing in meetings.
Your are not alone. I would not say I was much good at 12 stepping either, and I don't know any sponsor you does not have more failures than successes. I guess that is what is meant by beyond human aid. But there is one who has all power.......

Here is the interesting thing. I travel a lot, and get to visit many groups. My visits are a long time apart, so when I get back, any changes are much more apparent to me than probably the group. And the obvious thing is that those I saw on a past visit who were working with others are still sober, and those who weren't are missing. They are just a passing parade. There is research that backs this up, Crapes 2002. Those that work with others have an exponentially higher rate of staying sober.

Ok, so 12 stepping and sponsorship, especially sponsorship, have attracted all kinds of wierd rules, practices, tradition over the years. The whole thing has become somewhat convoluted and does not always reflect the suggestions in the big book. If you want to do something like that on a "formal" basis, there is probably plenty of opinion that will be directed at you as to when how and if you can do it.

I rarely enter into a formal sponsorship arrangement these days. Instead I watch out for the new face, offer them a coffee, and sit down and talk with them, following the quidelines in the book (Working With Others). If they are keen we might start reading the book together, and then maybe we will take some of the actions. The whole thing is casual, they can stop anytime. I will only help them as long as they want my help.

Most of the time they do what yours guys did, and put the brakes on around step four, when the real work starts. Maybe they stay sober, maybe they don't. That's not my problem, it is up to God. My job is to make sure they have an adequate presentation of the program upon which they can base their decisions.

The remarkable thing though is that by making this effort I get to stay sober myself, and once in a while I get to see someone I am working with recover, and that is a huge bonus.

I heard a member say he was 100% successful working with others. He stayed 100%% sober. It really is the best kept secret in AA.
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Grungehead (10-17-2019)
Old 10-25-2019, 04:47 AM   #25 (permalink)
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No, I'm not good about 12. There are two people I know who are working on their sobriety, but do not want to do AA. But they talk to me. So I talk AA to them, and they don't really know it's AA, lol. In the rooms, though, I've never sponsored anyone through all the steps. A long time ago, I helped a couple of people with 1-3, but that was as far as they got. It's definitely a failing of mine. I suppose that's why I stress so much about sharing in meetings.
I do not see this as "not good about 12"

"I know who are working on their sobriety, but do not want to do AA. But they talk to me. So I talk AA to them, and they don't really know it's AA, lol."

Sounds like great 12th step work to me. You are able to help some folks who a "hardcore AAer" can't reach because they won't help folks who are not doing the traditional full blown AA program as they think it should be done.
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