Dave42001

Daily Reflections

SEEKING EMOTIONAL STABILITY, p.243

When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible
source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that
dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was
healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we
really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our
fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human
protection and care.
12 & 12, p.116

All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and
security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of
God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and
things. I had been a real "people addict"; wherever I went there
had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It
was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more
I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received. I
have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that
empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to
work A.A.'s Steps to keep this particular principle before my
personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and
emotional stability.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

"Those who do not recover are people who are constitutionally
incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such
unfortunates. They are not at fault. They seem to have been
born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and
developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who
suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover, if they have the capacity to be honest." Am I completely
honest with myself and with other people?

Meditation For The Day

You can make use of your mistakes, failures, losses, and sufferings.
It is not what happens to you so much as what use you make of it.
Take your sufferings, difficulties, and hardships and make use of
them to help some unfortunate soul who is faced with the same
troubles. Then something good will come out of your suffering and
the world will be a better place because of it. The good you do each
day will live on, after the trouble and distress have gone, after the
difficulty and the pain have passed away.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may make good use of my mistakes and failures. I
pray that some good may result from my painful experiences.

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As Bill Sees It

Everyday Living, p. 233

The A.A. emphasis on personal inventory is heavy because a great
many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate
self-appraisal.

Once this heavy practice has become a habit, it will prove so
interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For
these minutes and often hours spent in self-examination are bound to
make all the other hours of our day better and happier. At length, our
inventories become a necessity of everyday living, rather than
something unusual or set apart.

12 & 12, pp. 89-90

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Walk In Dry Places

Whose experience is important?
Sharing.
In the Twelve Step movement, we often feature outstanding speakers at large anniversary meetings. In some ways, this makes celebrities of them..... their personal stories seem to be deemed more important that those of others. We should accept such large meetings for what they are: Part entertainment, part socialization, and part celebration. The real work of our fellowship, however, lies in ordinary, continuous activity in the groups.
The most important experience to be shared is not the dramatic or
humorous account heard at the large meeting. What really works to
keep us sober is the experience we share with each other. This can
survive long after the powerful speech is forgotten.
I'll remember today that I can find help and growth in talking
with different people I meet at regular meetings.

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Keep It Simple

It’s a rare person who wants to hear what we doesn’t want to hear.---Dick Cavett
We want only to hear good thins. That we’re nice people. That our loved ones are healthy.
That we did a good job. We don’t want to hear that anyone is angry with us, or that we made a mistake. We don’t want to hear about illness or troubles.
But life isn’t just happy news. Bad things happen. We can’t change that. As we live our recovery program, we learn to handle the addiction. We choose the path of life. We need to know all the news, good, and bad. Then we can deal with life as it really is.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me listen---even when I don't want to. Gently help me deal with both the good and bad. All the help I need is mine for the asking.
Action for the Day: I will ask my sponsor and three friends to tell me about my blind spots.

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Each Day a New Beginning

We're only as sick as the secrets we keep. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Harboring parts of our inner selves, fearing what others would think if they knew, creates the barriers that keep us separate, feeling different, certain of our inadequacies.
Secrets are burdens, and they weigh heavily on us, so heavily. Carrying secrets makes impossible the attainment of serenity--that which we strive for daily. Abstinence alone is not enough. It must come first, but it's not enough by itself. It can't guarantee that we'll find the serenity we seek.
This program of recovery offers self-assurance, happiness, spiritual well-being, but there's work to be done. Many steps to be taken. And one of these is total self-disclosure. It's risky, it's humbling, and it's necessary.
When we tell others who we really are, it opens the door for them to share likewise. And when they do, we become bonded. We accept their imperfections and love them for them. And they love us for ours. Our struggles to be perfect, our self-denigration because we aren't, only exaggerates even more the secrets that keep us sick.
Our tarnished selves are lovable; secrets are great equalizers when shared. We need to feel our oneness, our sameness with other women.
Opportunities to share my secrets will present themselves today. I will be courageous.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

p. 66
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family.

One night my mother failed to return home from her job at a car manufacturing plant. The next morning there was still no sign of her or any clue to why she had disappeared; with great apprehension the police were called. Since I was a mama's boy, this was especially traumatic for me. And to make matters unbelievably worse, a few days later the police came and arrested my father. They had found mom's mutilated body in a field outside of town and wanted to question him. In that instant the family life I knew was destroyed! My father was soon returned because the police had found a pair of glasses that did not belong to him at the murder scene. This clue led to the man who had so brutally killed my mother.
pp. 437-438

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Three - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

When World War II broke out, this spiritual principle had its first major test. A.A.'s entered the services and were scattered all over the world. Would they be able to take discipline, stand up under fire, and endure the monotony and misery of war? Would the kind of dependence they had learned in A.A. carry them through? Well, it did. They had even fewer alcoholic lapses or emotional binges than A.A.'s safe at home did. They were just as capable of endurance and valor as any other soldiers. Whether in Alaska or on the Salerno beachhead, their dependence upon a Higher Power worked. And far from being a weakness, this dependence was their chief source of strength.

pp. 38-39

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"Holding resentment is like eating poison and then waiting for the
other person to keel over." --Unknown
"Would you rather be right, or happy?"
--A Course in Miracles

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden,
where the flowers are all dead. The consciousness of loving and being
loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
--Oscar Wilde

Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a
question and you're a fool for the rest of your life.
--Chinese Proverb

Giving is the highest expression of our power.
--Vivian Greene

What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters compared
to what lies within us.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

INDIFFERENCE

"The worst sin towards our
fellow creatures in not to hate
them, but to be indifferent to
them. That's the essence of
inhumanity."
-- George Bernard Shaw

For years I was indifferent to family and friends. And the tragedy
was that because of my alcoholism I did not know it! For too long I
was unaware of my disease and its multiple implications.

Today I am not indifferent. Spirituality teaches me that I am not a
spectator but a participant. I am involved in my life and, ultimately,
in the lives of others. Today I seek to practice the principles of
sobriety in every area of my life. I not only seek to be sober on a
daily basis, but I also seek to be honest, open and tolerant with
other people.

The spiritual goal of sobriety and abstinence has placed me at the
center of the universe and I know today that I make a difference
to my fellow man.

Remove from me all attitudes of indifference and apathy. Make me
a worthy steward in Your vineyard.

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If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all
knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have
not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender
my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is
patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13

"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you."
Isaiah 66:13

"Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds
and praise your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:16

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Daily Inspiration


Each day offers many opportunities to smile when others don't and be more patient when others aren't. Lord, may I be an example of Your presence within me and a reminder to others that You are there for them too.

Each day there are lessons to learn and lives to touch. Lord, You have done so much for me. Help me to repay You.

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NA Just For Today

Contribution

"We recognize our spiritual growth when we are able to reach out and help others."
Basic Text p. 56

To make a difference in the world, to contribute something special, is perhaps the highest aspiration of the human heart, Each one of us, no matter what our personal makeup, has a unique quality to offer.

Chances are that at some time in our recovery we met someone who reached us when no one else could. Whether it was someone who made us laugh at our first meeting, a warm and compassionate sponsor, or an understanding friend who supported us through an emotional storm, that person made all the difference in the world.

All of us have had the gift of recovery shared with us by another recovering addict. For that, we are grateful. We express our gratitude by sharing freely with others what was given to us. The individual message we carry may help a newcomer only we can reach.

There are many ways to serve our fellowship. Each of us will find that we do some things better than others, but all service work is equally important. If we are willing to serve, we're sure to find that particular way to contribute that's right for us.

Just for today: My contribution makes a difference. I will offer a helping hand today.
pg. 244

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
... sparrow, your message is clear: it is not too late for my singing. --Tess Gallagher
There was once a mother who loved to hang the laundry out on the clothesline in the backyard. Her baby crawled through the sheets and towels that almost touched the grass. The baby didn't talk yet, so nobody knew what she was thinking.
Ten years later, the baby, twelve years old, told her that her happiest memory of childhood was playing in her "playhouse" of laundry on the line. She remembered thinking that her mother hung the sheets out there just so she could play in the grass and wind and sun!
How wonderful to be living in a world where we can accidentally make people happy! This knowledge is a miraculous gift, and can give us reason to do every task well and with love, because it may be remembered for a lifetime by someone near to us.
What happy memory do I have of childhood?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The irony of your present eating habits is that while you fear missing a meal, you aren't fully aware of the meals you do eat.
--Dan Millman
Many of us have had problems with eating. Some of us eat compulsively. We may have become overly focused on diet or abused ourselves by mindlessly indulging in unhealthy eating. We all grow by becoming more aware of our relationship to food. Our spiritual life is nourished by fully experiencing all our sensations concerning food.
We can begin with awareness of our empty stomachs and take pleasure in feeling hungry. We can give time to eating and use a meal as a time for relationships. Taking pleasure in the preparation of healthy food, making it look attractive, smelling the aromas, tasting the flavors, and enjoying the fullness and renewed energy after eating are all ways of growing spiritually as we become healthier in our use of food.
Today, I will take pleasure as I eat. I will make room in my life for healthy nourishment of body and spirit.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
We're only as sick as the secrets we keep. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Harboring parts of our inner selves, fearing what others would think if they knew, creates the barriers that keep us separate, feeling different, certain of our inadequacies.
Secrets are burdens, and they weigh heavily on us, so heavily. Carrying secrets makes impossible the attainment of serenity--that which we strive for daily. Abstinence alone is not enough. It must come first, but it's not enough by itself. It can't guarantee that we'll find the serenity we seek.
This program of recovery offers self-assurance, happiness, spiritual well-being, but there's work to be done. Many steps to be taken. And one of these is total self-disclosure. It's risky, it's humbling, and it's necessary.
When we tell others who we really are, it opens the door for them to share likewise. And when they do, we become bonded. We accept their imperfections and love them for them. And they love us for ours. Our struggles to be perfect, our self-denigration because we aren't, only exaggerates even more the secrets that keep us sick.
Our tarnished selves are lovable; secrets are great equalizers when shared. We need to feel our oneness, our sameness with other women.
Opportunities to share my secrets will present themselves today. I will be courageous.



You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Responsibility for Family Members
I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me. -Anonymous
For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people's feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents' happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.
We do not have this kind of power over our parents - over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.
Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. They may be our parents, but their beliefs and behaviors are not always healthy and in our best interest.
We are free to examine and choose our beliefs.
Let go of guilt. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us.
Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.


Today I accept all responsibilities of my life. It feels good to know that I am in charge of my life and can accept the outcome of my decisions. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Heal Your Resentments

How fast resentments creep in during the course of an ordinary year. How much faster they can creep in during intense times, times of change, times of evolution-- the kind of times we've been experiencing on our journey.

Things shift. Things change. We let go of the old and stumble toward the new. And resentments crop up along the way. People become angry with us for changing, we become angry with them because we believe their experiences have unjustly impacted us.

Resentments are tricky little things, devious little devils of energy that block and damage our souls and hearts. They tell us they're justified. They tell us we need them to protect ourselves. They tell us we should have adopted them a long time ago. They tell us we're not safe if we release them, if we send them packing.

Those are lies, illusions that keep us blocked, stuck, and often quite uncomfortable.

Go deeper into yourself. What do you feel underneath the resentment? Betrayed? Hurt? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Left out? Forgotten? Misunderstood? You're safe now. Go ahead and feel whatever you need to feel. Honor and recognize your gentler, softer side-- those other feelings that make you feel vulnerable, those more tender feelings hiding behind, underneath, or to the side of the resentment.


Feel and release your resentment. Feel the feelings underneath it,too. You'll become clear. The resentment will dissolve. And you'll return to love.

*****

more language of letting go
Be grateful for your families

I walked into the kitchen at the Blue Sky Lodge one afternoon. I looked around at my group of friends. "I feel really blessed," I said. "You know we're more like family than friends."

They agreed.

My house is full of friendship, and at the risk of sounding mushy, it's full of love. There's almost always someone home to take care of the place, though we do forget to take the trash out from time to time.

I've learned and laughed with my housemates, and I hope that they have learned from me as well. Are you grateful for the people you live with? Or if you live alone, are you grateful for your friends? Someone once told me that the great thing about being independent is that we get to choose our families. Be thankful for your family today, whether it's the one that you were born with or the one that you've chosen.

Our families are a gift.


God, thank you for my families.

*****

Traveling Companions
Birds Fly in a V by Madisyn Taylor

Like birds flying in a V, when we feel the presence of others moving along side of us, there is little we cannot accomplish.

As they swoop, drift, and glide, inscribing magnificent patterns across the sky, birds are serene displays of grace and beauty. Long a source of inspiration, birds can be messengers from the spirit realm, or a symbol of the human soul, as they cast off their earthly mooring and soar heavenward. An upturned wing, a graceful flutter, all so effortless and free... More magnificent still is the inspiring sight of birds migrating, progressing steadily across the horizon in a solid V formation that is a singular pattern too unique to be mere chance.

Pushing steadily forward, this aerodynamic V reduces air resistance for the whole flock. With wings moving in harmony, the feathered group continues its course across the sky, covering more ground together in community than as individuals. When the bird at the front gets tired, she will move to the rear of the formation where the wind drag is lowest, and a more rested bird can take her place.

By learning from the example of our winged guides, all of us can feel empowered to take on daring challenges as we chart adventurous courses. Feel the strength of others moving alongside you, as their presence lends power to your wings during this journey across the sky of life. When buffeted by unexpected gusts, we can choose to find refuge in the loving shelter of friends and family. We may even marvel as an otherwise difficult day passes by like a swift wind, as a kindred spirit charts a way for us through the clouds and rain ahead. If your wings begin to ache on your journey, look around for somebody else to fly at the front for a while. All of us move faster when we move together. Let your ego drop earthwards as we all soar ever higher. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
So often, in the past, we prayed for "things," or favoring circumstances, or a thousand requests that were really selfish in nature. I've learned in The Program that real prayer begins - not ends - in asking God to change me. In fact, that's exactly what the Seventh Step suggests: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. We ask God for help through His grace, and the amazing thing is that such a prayer is answered if we truly want it to be. Our own wills are so much a required part of the result that it seems almost as if we had done it. But the help from God is even more necessary; without Him, we couldn't possibly have done it alone.

Have I asked God to help me change myself?

Today I Pray
May I learn to pray broadly - that God's will be done, that God remove my shortcomings. No need to specify what these shortcomings are; God who knows all, knows. May I learn that details are not necessary in my praying. All that matters is my humility and my faith that God, does indeed, have the Power to change my life.

Today I Will Remember
I ask God to change me.

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Food For Thought

Emotional Abstinence

When our eating was out of control, our emotions were also out of control. Even after we accept physical abstinence from compulsive overeating, we may still go on emotional binges. This indulgence leaves us depleted and hung over and wreaks havoc in our relationships with those we love.

The Twelve Steps are our guide to emotional abstinence. They are the means by which we can live without being destroyed by anger, envy, fear, and all of the other negative emotions. Working the Steps frees us from our slavery to self-centered, irrational reactions, which harm ourselves and others.

Realizing the damage, which comes from hanging on to anger and resentment, we gradually become able to turn these feelings over to our Higher Power before they get out of hand. Accepting ourselves means that we can accept others for what they are without trying to manipulate them or expect them to be perfect. Controlled by our Higher Power, we learn to avoid emotional binges.

May I remember the importance of emotional abstinence today.

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One Day At A Time

PREPARING
"Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."
John Wooden

Every morning I make a decision. I decide to prepare for a day of recovery, or I decide to not prepare for a day of recovery. It comes as no surprise that on the days I prepare I do better.

I have to take responsibility for my decisions, even my indecision. If I do nothing to help myself today, I have no one to blame but myself. If nothing else, I can take five minutes in the morning to invite my Higher Power into my life.

One day at a time...
I will prepare for a good day today. I will take responsibility for my recovery.
~ Q

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

They said to me, "Do you want to quit drinking? It's none of our business about your drinking. We're not up here trying to take any of your rights or privileges away from you, but we have a program whereby we think we can stay sober. Part of the program is that we take it to someone else who needs it and wants it. Now is you don't want it, we'll not take up your time, and we'll be going and looking for someone else." - Pg. 186 - Alcoholic Anonymous Number Three

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Right now you are safe. Whatever is troubling you is not so bad that your sponsor or another group member cannot help. Call them as soon as you find a phone.

Grant me the humbleness to call for help whenever I feel threatened, lonely, angry, or in any way separated from my spiritual health.

Arrogance and Grandiosity

I will not get lost in the arrogance and grandiosity that dog this disease 's trail. These are compensations for pain and fear. I won 't buy myself off with grandiose fantasies as a way of feeling big inside. I will go to meetings and experience my smallness, face it with courage and let myself slowly become right sized. Grandiosity and arrogance are part and parcel of this disease, defenses against feelings of helplessness. Today I can tolerate my own inner world.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Embrace all of your emotions for they are what make you, you. 'Hold them in an embrace of total acceptance and in that embrace you will not be agonized any more. Do you think the Christ never cried? Do you think the Buddha never ached? You are not going to be less human, you are going to be wholly human.' ~Bartholomew, I Come as a Brother

I become one with myself by embracing all of me, because I am all of me and I won't be less!

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Life is fragile; handle with prayer.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I accept all responsibilities of my life.

It feels good to know that I am in charge of my life and can accept the outcome of my decisions.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I'm not much, but I'm all I think about. - Anon.
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