Dave42001

Daily Reflections

TOWARD EMOTIONAL FREEDOM

Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always
been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no
field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable
rewards than this one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 80

Willingness is a peculiar thing for me in that, over a period of
time, it seems to come, first with awareness, but then with a
feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some action. As I
reflected on taking the Eighth Step, my willingness to make amends
to others came as a desire for forgiveness, of others and myself.
I felt forgiveness toward others after I became aware of my part
in the difficulties of relationships. I wanted to feel the peace
and serenity described in the Promises. From working the first
seven Steps, I became aware of whom I had harmed and that I had
been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my relationships
with my fellow human beings, I knew I would have to change. I
wanted to learn to live in harmony with myself and others so that
I could also live in emotional freedom. The beginning of the end
to my isolation - from my fellows and from God - came when I
wrote my Eighth Step list.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

"When many hundreds of people are able to say that the
consciousness of the presence of God is today the most important fact of
their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.
When we see others solve their problems by simple reliance upon
some Spirit of the universe, we have to stop doubting the power of
God. Our ideas did not work, but the God-idea does. Deep down in
every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. Faith
in a Power greater than ourselves and miraculous demonstrations of
that power in our lives are facts as old as the human race." Am I
willing to rely on the Spirit of the universe?

Meditation For The Day

You should not dwell too much on the mistakes, faults, and failures
of the past. Be done with shame and remorse and contempt for
yourself. With God's help, develop a new self-respect. Unless you
respect yourself, others will not respect you. You ran a race, you
stumbled and fell, you have risen again, and now you press on
toward the goal of a better life. Do not stay to examine the spot
where you fell, only feel sorry for the delay, the shortsightedness
that prevented you from seeing the real goal sooner.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not look back. I pray that I may keep picking
myself up and making a fresh start each day.

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As Bill Sees It

The Value of Human Will, p. 232

Many newcomers, having experienced little but constant deflation,
feel a growing conviction that human will is of no value whatever.
They have become persuaded, sometimes rightly so, that many
problems besides alcohol will not yield to a headlong assault
powered only by the individual's will.

However, there are certain things which the individual alone can do.
All by himself, and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs
to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires
willingness, he is the only one who can then make the decision to
exert himself along spiritual lines. Trying to do this is actually an
act of his own will. It is the right use of this faculty.

Indeed, all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps require our sustained and
personal exertion to conform to their principles and so, we trust, to
God's will.

12 & 12, p. 40

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Walk In Dry Places

All that Glitters
Tempting Moments
Though real sobriety means all lose of desire to drink, it's not uncommon to have moments when the
old life takes on a sudden appeal. This appeal is never based on a realistic look at things as they
were. It is more a rush of feeling connected with some alluring aspect of the drinking life.
Such a false feeling will always pass if we let ourselves remember what happened to us and why we needed to seek recovery. We cannot have this rush of feeling when we remember the misery, despair, and other pain from that part of our lives.
All that glitters is not gold, goes an old saying. All the glittering scenes connected with drinking are not really golden moments, either. They are, for us, always preludes to disaster.
I'll remember today to let realistic thinking rule my life even if there are moments when my feelings run temporarily awry.

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Keep It Simple

Heaven and hell is right now. . .You make it heaven or you make it hell by your actions.----George Harrison
We used chemicals to feel better, but we started feeling worse. We were out of control. Life seemed like hell.
Now we have a program that tells us how to make life better. Some days, it even feels like heaven! But we have to work our program to make our own heaven.
Working the program isn’t too hard. And it makes us feel so good. So, why don’t we do it all the time? Maybe we’re a little afraid of heaven. It’s time to learn to love having a better life!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me work my program each day, so each day has a little bit of heaven in it. Help me get used to having a better life.
Action for the Day: Tonight, I’ll think about the moments of kindness, joy, hope and faith that put a little bit of heaven into my life today.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change. So suffering must become love. That is the mystery.
--Katherine Mansfield
Acceptance of those conditions that at times plague us changes not only the conditions but, in the process, ourselves. Perhaps this latter change is the more crucial. As each changes, as we all change into more accepting women, life's struggles ease. When we accept all the circumstances that we can't control, we are more peaceful. Smiles more easily fill us up.
It's almost as though life's eternal lesson is acceptance, and with it comes life's eternal blessings.
Every day offers me many opportunities to grow in acceptance and thus blessings. I can accept any condition today and understand it as an opportunity to take another step toward serenity, eternal and whole.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS

We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only Seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived.

pp. 65-66

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family.

When I rode into a small mountain town in an empty freight car, my matted beard and filthy hair would have reached nearly to my belt, if I'd had a belt. I wore a lice-infested, grimy poncho over a reeking pajama top, and a ragged pair of jeans stuffed into cowboy boots with no heels. I carried a knife in one boot and a .38 revolver in the other. For six years I'd been fighting for survival on skid rows and riding across the country in freights. I hadn't eaten in a long time, so was half starved and down to 130 pounds. I was mean and I was drunk.

p. 437

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Three - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

Therefore, we who are alcoholics can consider ourselves fortunate indeed. Each of us has had his own near-fatal encounter with the juggernaut of self-will, and has suffered enough under its weight to be willing to look for something better. So it is by circumstance rather than by any virtue that we have been driven to A.A., have admitted defeat, have acquired the rudiments of faith, and now want to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to a Higher Power.

pp. 37-38

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Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value
your time, you will not do anything with it.
--M. Scott Peck

Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that
it's only given to us moment by moment.
--Amelia Barr

"You cannot give to people what they are incapable of receiving."
--Agatha Christie

"I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of
my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most
precious gift I have - life itself."
--Walter Anderson

If I love with my Spirit, I don't have to think so hard with my head.
--unknown

"For many people, change is more threatening than challenging. They
see it as the destroyer of what is familiar and comfortable rather than
the creator of what is new and exciting."
--Nido Qubein

Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot
of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft.
--Dudley Martineau

Heaven and hell is right now. . .You make it heaven or you make it hell
by your actions.
--George Harrison

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

TOGETHERNESS

"A man who thinks of himself as
belonging to a particular national
group in Americas has not yet
become an American."
-- Woodrow Wilson

Today I know that I belong. I am not alone. I do not exist outside of
the human race. I am an important part of this world.

Addiction makes us feel different, separated and isolated. It keeps us
divided within ourselves, our family and relationships. So long as it can
do this, it wins.

Now I know that I belong. I make up a part of the whole. Something of
this universe is mine.

I am not an island unto myself. I am an essential part of the human
race. I am at home in my world.

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My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:2

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do
what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but
you must master it."
Genesis 4:7

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But
one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what
is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God
has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:13-14

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are
still angry."
Ephesians 4:26

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Daily Inspiration

Make peace with your imperfections and concentrate on your strengths. Lord, teach me to become more aware of my goodness so that little by little I will become even better.

We can be serious about our work without being serious about ourselves. Lord, help me to enjoy the person that I am.

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NA Just For Today

Facing Death

"Often we have to face some type of crisis during our recovery, such as the death of a loved one..."
Basic Text, p. 98

Every life has a beginning and an end. However, when someone we love a great deal reaches the end of their life, we may have a very hard time accepting their sudden, final absence. Our grief may be so powerful that we fear it will completely overwhelm us - but it will not. Our sorrow may hurt more than anything we can remember, but it will pass.
We need not run from the emotions that may arise from the death of a loved one. Death and grieving are parts of the fullness of living "life on life's terms." By allowing ourselves the freedom to experience these feelings, we partake more deeply of both our recovery and our human nature.

Sometimes the reality of another's death makes our own mortality that much more pronounced. We reevaluate our priorities, appreciating the loved ones still with us all the more. Our life, and our life with them, will not go on forever. We want to make the most of what's most important while it lasts.

We might find that the death of someone we love helps strengthen our conscious contact with our Higher Power. If we remember that we can always turn to that source of strength when we are troubled, we will be able to stay focused on it no matter what may be going on around us.

Just for today: I will accept the loss of one I love and turn to my Higher Power for the strength to accept my feelings. I will make the most of my love for those in my life today.
pg. 242

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. --Soren Kierkegaard
Once, in a small village, there was a huge fire. The blaze spread and several homes and businesses were burned to the ground. After a long while, the fire was brought under control and put out. Villagers banded together to rebuild their town, but one quite persistent young man insisted on searching the rubble for the cause of the fire. Impatient townspeople scolded him, saying, "Why waste time searching for causes? Knowing them won't put out the blaze or repair the damage." "I know," replied the young man, "but knowing why might prevent other fires."
Sometimes we have to look at painful past experiences in order to prevent their recurrence. When we understand ourselves better, we can move beyond the past and walk toward the future with surer, safer steps.
How well can I use my past today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Every human being is a problem in search of a solution. --Ashley Montagu
Each of us is a strong and fragile creature. We're always subject to forces outside our control, and we're learning steps for living that helps us cope and rise above these problems. Our particular situation might seem special to us but in another sense, everyone's situation is a unique problem. Spiritual growth is the result of coming face to face with our own situation, feeling the brunt of our own puzzlement, recognizing no recipe will apply completely, and then trusting our Higher Power as we make unsure responses.
No school or parent can ever teach us enough to smooth our search for solutions. We become complete human beings by living through the muddle, by truly trusting our connections with God and other people to carry us along until we find clarity again. We progress into manhood when we meet our own particular life crises. We learn to see we have this process in common with every human being. Rather than resist our problems, we band together with others and pool our strength to find solutions.
My problems today are opportunities for spiritual growth.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change. So suffering must become love. That is the mystery.
--Katherine Mansfield
Acceptance of those conditions that at times plague us changes not only the conditions but, in the process, ourselves. Perhaps this latter change is the more crucial. As each changes, as we all change into more accepting women, life's struggles ease. When we accept all the circumstances that we can't control, we are more peaceful. Smiles more easily fill us up.
It's almost as though life's eternal lesson is acceptance, and with it comes life's eternal blessings.
Every day offers me many opportunities to grow in acceptance and thus blessings. I can accept any condition today and understand it as an opportunity to take another step toward serenity, eternal and whole.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Honesty in Relationships
We can be honest and direct about our boundaries in relationships and about the parameters of a particular relationship.
Perhaps no area of our life reflects our uniqueness and individuality in recovery more than our relationships. Some of us are in a committed relationship. Some of us are dating. Some of us are not dating. Some of us are living with someone. Some of us wish we were dating. Some of us wish we were in a committed relationship. Some of us get into new relationships after recovery. Some of us stay in the relationship we were in before we began recovering.
We have other relationships too. We have friendships. Relationships with children, with parents, with extended family. We have professional relationships - relationships with people on the job.
We need to be able to be honest and direct in our relationships. One area we can be honest and direct about is the parameters of our relationships. We can define our relationships to people, an idea written about by Charlotte Kasl and others, and we can ask them to be honest and direct about defining their vision of the relationship with us.
It is confusing to be in relationships and not know where we stand - whether this is on the job, in a friendship, with family members, or in a love relationship. We have a right to be direct about how we define the relationship - what we want it to be. But relationships equal two people who have equal rights. The other person needs to be able to define the relationship too. We have a right to know, and ask. So do they.
Honesty is the best policy.
We can set boundaries. If someone wants a more intense relationship than we do, we can be clear and honest about what we want, about our intended level of participation. We can tell the person what to reasonably expect from us, because that is what we want to give. How the person deals with that is his or her issue. Whether or not we tell the person is ours.
We can set boundaries and define friendships when those cause confusion.
We can even define relationships with children, if those relationships have gotten sticky and exceeded our parameters. We need to define love relationships and what that means to each person. We have a right to ask and receive clear answers. We have a right to make our own definitions and have our own expectations. So does the other person.
Honesty and directness is the only policy. Sometimes we don't know what we want in a relationship. Sometimes the other person doesn't know. But the sooner we can define a relationship, with the other person's help, the sooner we can decide on an appropriate course of conduct for ourselves.
The clearer we can become on defining relationships, the more we can take care of ourselves in that relationship. We have a right to our boundaries, wants, and needs. So does the other person. We cannot force someone to be in a relationship or to participate at a level we desire if he or she does not want to. All of us have a right not to be forced.
Information is a powerful tool, and having the information about what a particular relationship is - the boundaries and definitions of it - will empower us to take care of ourselves in it.
Relationships take a while to form, but at some point we can reasonably expect a clear definition of what that relationship is and what the boundaries of it are. If the definitions clash, we are free to make a new decision based on appropriate information about what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
Today, I will strive for clarity and directness in my relationships. If I now have some relationships that are murky and ill defined, and if I have given them adequate time to form, I will begin to take action to define that relationship. God, help me let go of my fears about defining and understanding the nature of my present relationships. Guide me into clarity - clear, healthy thinking. Help me know that what I want is okay. Help me know that if I can't get that from the other person, what I want is still okay, but not possible at the present time. Help me learn to not forego what I want and need, but empower me to make appropriate, healthy choices about where to get that.


Today I am beginning to experience all that I am, a unique and interdependent human being. I feel unique and alive and unlimited. I am free to experience love and joy. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Your Soul Can Be at Peace

Peace is all around you.

If you forget to be peaceful, try some things. Forgive, trust, love yourself. Be still, be kind, be gentle. Do these things until peace returns.

Seek places of healing. Seek places of power. Come back to center. Breathe deeply. Breathe in the air, the energy, the loving resources around you. Fill up on life. Fill up until you find and feel peace. Work things out, work things through, release the past, take the steps your heart leads you to do. Do this until you find and feel peace.

Breathe deeply. With each breath, release your fear. If you know what's causing your fear, let them go,too. Don't tangle yourself up trying to figure out or understand. Trust that your body, your soul, your heart, is healing and releasing.

Be gentle with yourself. A place inside you is healing its fears, telling you something, feeling something. Don't punish or abuse it for feeling afraid. That won't make your fears go away. That will make the beautiful, delicate part of you go away. Be tender and gentle. Rest until your fears subside. Rest until peace returns.

Peace is yours for the asking, the wanting, the seeking. Desire it with passion, and you shall see it, find it, have it.


No matter what you're going through, your soul can be at peace.

*****

more language of letting go
Celebrate your abundance

Celebrate the abundance that comes into your life. So often, we spend so long in the "do without" stage that we don't know what to do when we're given the opportunity to " do with." We can get so used to the suffering-- we can even come to expect it-- that we feel guilty when we're given the good things in life and when we finally have enough.

We may have become conditioned to believe that to have success and abundance, we must have done something wrong. We're just not sure we deserve this newfound happiness.

What do we do now that we don't have to struggle to make each step and beg God for the money to pay for each meal?

Celebrate. Enjoy it. Abundance is a gift of the universe. It's important to learn to be a healthy, cheerful giver. It's important to receive cheerfully,too.

If you've been given much, be thankful. Use your abundance wisely. Enjoy it. Share it with others. Be thankful for the gifts in your life.


God, thank you for the gifts.

Activity: Make an inventory of your gifts. This is separate from the gratitude list of things we're striving to be grateful for. Exactly what are the gifts you've received? Sometimes we get so busy trying to get more, we forget to be thankful for what we've got.

*****

Shifting with Nature’s Energy
Change of Season

In today’s world, office jobs and supermarkets have made it possible to work and provide for ourselves and our families regardless of nature’s cycles. While most of us no longer depend directly on nature’s seasons for our livelihood, our bodies’ clocks still know deep down that a change of season means a change in us too. If we don’t acknowledge this, we may feel out of sync, as though we have lost our natural rhythm. These days, autumn is more likely to bring thoughts of going back to school than harvesting, but in both cases, the chill in the air tells us it’s time to move inside and prepare for the future.

We can consciously celebrate the change of season and shift our own energy by setting some time aside to make the same changes we see in nature. We can change colors like the falling leaves and wilting blooms by putting away our bright summer colors and filling our wardrobes and living areas with warm golds, reds, and browns.

While plants concentrate their energy deep in their roots and seeds, we can retreat to quieter, indoor pursuits, nurturing the seeds of new endeavors, which need quiet concentration to grow. We can stoke our inner fires with our favorite coffee, tea, cider, or cocoa while savoring the rich, hot comfort foods that the season brings in an array of fall colors: potatoes, apple pies, pumpkin, squash, and corn. As animals begin growing their winter coats and preparing their dens for hibernation, we can dust off our favorite sweaters and jackets and bring blankets out of storage, creating coziness with throw rugs and heavier drapes. We can also light candles or fireplaces to bring a remnant of summer’s fiery glow indoors.
By making a conscious celebration of the change, we usher in the new season in a way that allows us to go with the flow, not fight against it. We sync ourselves up with the rhythm of nature and the universe and let it carry us forward, nurturing us as we prepare for our future. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

One More Day

Repose is not more welcome to the worn and to the aged, to the sick and to the unhappy, then danger, difficulty, and toil, to the young and the adventurous.
– Fanny Burney

Within the same week, a ten-year-old boy made a solo flight across America, and a woman who was sover eighty climbed Mount Everest. Some of us don’t aspire to such mind-boggling events. But there is a time for more adventurous quests and a time for quiet. They don’t have to be age related.

Sometimes our concern about age may be more limiting than our physical capabilities. “Should a person my age be actiong like this?” “I think I’m too old for that.” Thoughts like these prevent us from exploring and learning and acquiring new skills. We can choose our direction, regardless of age.

I will set aside age prejudice when I look at the possiblities before me today.

*****

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

All of The Program’s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural inclinations and desires: they puncture, squeeze, and finally deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take then the Fifth, which suggest that we “admit to God, To Ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Few steps are harder to take, yes, but scarcely any Step is more necessary to long-term freedom from addiction and peace of mind. Have I quit living by myself with the tormenting ghoset of yesterday?

Today I Pray

May God give me strength to face that great ego-pincher — Step Five. May I not hesitate to call a trusted hearer of Fifth Steps, set up a meeting and share it. By accepting responsibility for my behavior, God and one other. I am actually unburdening myself.

Today I Will Remember

My Fifth Step pain is also my liberation.

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Food For Thought

Togetherness

In this program, we are able to do together what none of us could achieve alone. We may have tried many ways to control our disease before we came to OA, but they did not work or we would not be here.

We share a common illness and a common cure. Abstinence is possible as we share it with each other. The program works as we work it together. Each of us is an individual, but we function best with the support of the group. If we neglect to go to meetings and make phone calls, we cut ourselves off from the strength and inspiration we need.

Our Higher Power works through each of us as we share what we have been given. We do not achieve and maintain abstinence by ourselves. Most of us overate alone. Learning to live without overeating involves learning to live with other people. Our fellowship is our recovery, and together we grow.

Thank You for our togetherness.

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One Day At A Time

AMENDS
“If you have behaved badly, repent;
make what amends you can and address yourself to the task
of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your
wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best
way of getting clean.”
Aldous Huxley

I grew up with high expectations of perfection and a constant feeling of failure. I seldom recognized truly bad behavior in myself, but instead I apologized for the things I had taken on as my responsibility that were not under my control. I apologized when the weather spoiled plans. I apologized for an adult family member’s poor behavior. I felt intense shame when I accidentally slipped and fell, sure that I'd embarrassed the people with me. Yet I was oblivious to how I snapped at people simply because I was in a HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) place. My temper was quick to rise and explode, but I always told myself I had a “good” excuse or cause.

On the other hand, I could feel so mortified over my behavior that it haunted me night and day for weeks, and even months, after the incident; long after any witness could recall it. Years later a phrase would bring the memory back to the forefront and shame me all over again as though it had happened mere minutes before.

I couldn’t seem to find a truthful middle ground until I began working the Twelve Steps. In studying the Steps I learned how to uncover and acknowledge the wrongs for which I am sincerely responsible, how to make proper amends, and how to let go and move on.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I am responsible only for my own behavior and actions. With the help of my Higher Power, I will acknowledge my wrongdoings quickly and make loving amends.
~ Rhonda H.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. - Pgs. 132-133 - The Family Afterward

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

All our past 'good intentions' were fragmentary at best, facades at worse. Some of us didn't mean to mess things up, some of us did mean to, always justifying our inadequacies by blaming parents, spouses, society, or God. This hour we must accept who we are, and stop looking around for the culprit--he is us!

May I recognize, as this program teaches, that I am at the root of my own problems and this hour, I can be at the root of my recovery.

Past Anger and Resentment

I need to find a way to experience my old anger and resentment without living in it. When I live in it, I ruin my own day. When I deny it, I create a dark spot on my emotional lungs that keeps me from being able to breathe deeply and fully. When I get lost in anger and resentment, I spend all my time justifying why I have a right to be angry and making all of my painful or negative feelings about someone else and not me. When I pretend that I don't have anger that I do have, I keep myself from feeling and processing it, I hold myself back from learning and growing from what I will learn about myself and the disease. Today, I will allow myself to feel my own anger and see what it has to tell me before I dump it, act it out, make it about someone or something else or medicate it. I will sit with it and let it sit with me. I will witness my feelings without trying to control them.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

God didn't do it!

God doesn't do anything to me, but always through me.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you're not working with others, then others will be working with you.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am beginning to experience all that I am, a unique and interdependent human being.

I feel unique and alive and unlimited.

I am free to experience love and joy.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

He asked how she could tell if her husband was lying. She said; 'Watch his lips. If they move, he's lying. - Anon.
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