AA crusaders and Reformers
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
AA crusaders and Reformers
do you guys ever meet people in AA who are a little to over the top about the program? I’m talking about people who come off as crusaders and reformers. Or people that sound like AA preachers and evangelists?
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Perhaps if you came from where they came from, and experienced the results they experienced, you might have a similar level of enthusiasm.
I know some people who are happily sober who are, on occasion, despised by some who are not happily sober. Could it be because the happy ones talk about the price they had to pay, a price that the unhappy are unwilling to pay?
I know some people who are happily sober who are, on occasion, despised by some who are not happily sober. Could it be because the happy ones talk about the price they had to pay, a price that the unhappy are unwilling to pay?
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
I've yet to belong to any organization that didnt have some people like that in it. It seems to be human nature for some people to take ANY idea and take it to the extreme. And AA, like all other organizations are full of people...imperfect people...people who don't see things the way you might see them. That's one of the great things about AA, it has survived all these years and it's been run by a bunch of drunks of all people. 
It tells me that Bill and the early AA's did a pretty good job of coming up with a set of traditions (12 to be exact) that have allowed the fellowship to survive and thrive all these years in spite of human nature tending to want to foul things up.
It tells me that Bill and the early AA's did a pretty good job of coming up with a set of traditions (12 to be exact) that have allowed the fellowship to survive and thrive all these years in spite of human nature tending to want to foul things up.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Realest 
do you guys ever meet people in AA who are a little to over the top about the program? I’m talking about people who come off as crusaders and reformers. Or people that sound like AA preachers and evangelists?
However, AA is free and there are no leaders which makes it all good as far as I'm concerned.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
You mean like the guy who led an AA meeting about three weeks ago and shared that his sponsor told him that he should have three service positions at all times? Not one, not two, but three! He was of course implying that everyone should do more AA service work. Lots more. The single guy with no spouse and children to support? He's got time to go to lots and lots and lots of meetings.
He also likes to ask questions about everyone else's recovery program. You know to make sure you have a sponsor and are doing lots of step work. When I told him that I regularly visit a terrific website called soberrecovery.com to support my recovery process he said he was not interested because it was not "official AA".
Yes I have met that fellow. But for every one person in AA who acts like that I have met perhaps five folks who have what I consider a more balanced approach to their AA recovery program. The AA fanatics are certainly a minority in number but they make a lot of noise.
What is sad to me about these folks is that IMO they could be so much more effective in spreading the AA message if they just quietly lived the AA program by example and stopped all the horn blowing. But I don't expect this will change. They are who they are. This is not unique to AA. IME every group has it's over dedicated fanatics. Since this is a universal trait of human groups I accept it as something I cannot change and I do not use it as an excuse to avoid the AA recovery program. YMMV.
He also likes to ask questions about everyone else's recovery program. You know to make sure you have a sponsor and are doing lots of step work. When I told him that I regularly visit a terrific website called soberrecovery.com to support my recovery process he said he was not interested because it was not "official AA".
Yes I have met that fellow. But for every one person in AA who acts like that I have met perhaps five folks who have what I consider a more balanced approach to their AA recovery program. The AA fanatics are certainly a minority in number but they make a lot of noise.
What is sad to me about these folks is that IMO they could be so much more effective in spreading the AA message if they just quietly lived the AA program by example and stopped all the horn blowing. But I don't expect this will change. They are who they are. This is not unique to AA. IME every group has it's over dedicated fanatics. Since this is a universal trait of human groups I accept it as something I cannot change and I do not use it as an excuse to avoid the AA recovery program. YMMV.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by AAPJ
What is sad to me about these folks is that IMO they could be so much more effective in spreading the AA message if they just quietly lived the AA program by example and stopped all the horn blowing. But I don't expect this will change. They are who they are. This is not unique to AA. IME every group has it's over dedicated fanatics. Since this is a universal trait of human groups I accept it as something I cannot change and I do not use it as an excuse to avoid the AA recovery program. YMMV.
then he went on a business trip to akron.
i think there are quite a few AA thumpers that miss one short paragraph on pg 19 of the BB:
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I'd ask what you mean by crusaders, reformers, over the top?
It seems that "definition" varies .... so really, it's up to you what you'd consider all that, and what it does or doesn't (probably more important) mean to YOUR sobriety? That being the specific and universal you.
It seems that "definition" varies .... so really, it's up to you what you'd consider all that, and what it does or doesn't (probably more important) mean to YOUR sobriety? That being the specific and universal you.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
at my big book home group,we study the big book steps only,we share our experience with the steps and what happened in our lives because of it.5 minute limit on sharing our ESH,That relieves us of the crusaders and reformers.Problem solved
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Inwas thinking about your question and to answer it honestly.. no. I don't think I have.
One thing i have noticed in sobriety though is if I spend too long with the same people (AA or otherwise) I will pick up a resentment about them. People just seem to really irritate me and I have a really low tolerance level! Who'd have thought hey?! Lol. So I do what is suggested in the BB. Pray for that person. And pray for patience, tolerance and compassion. Do my inventory. But I am also (let's keep this to AA) going to go to lots of different meetings instead of sticking to the usual one. I have a home group which I love but even there I can pick up resentments at the drop of a hat. Usually it is the same one or two members but not always. It can be anyone, take your pick!! I can see when I do inventory alot of the time it is because something is not right within me, but not always. I think I just get easily irritated by people. So my key now is to not spend too much time with rhe same people. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. But it does kind of relate slightly to the original post. To me anyway lol.
One thing i have noticed in sobriety though is if I spend too long with the same people (AA or otherwise) I will pick up a resentment about them. People just seem to really irritate me and I have a really low tolerance level! Who'd have thought hey?! Lol. So I do what is suggested in the BB. Pray for that person. And pray for patience, tolerance and compassion. Do my inventory. But I am also (let's keep this to AA) going to go to lots of different meetings instead of sticking to the usual one. I have a home group which I love but even there I can pick up resentments at the drop of a hat. Usually it is the same one or two members but not always. It can be anyone, take your pick!! I can see when I do inventory alot of the time it is because something is not right within me, but not always. I think I just get easily irritated by people. So my key now is to not spend too much time with rhe same people. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. But it does kind of relate slightly to the original post. To me anyway lol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by snitch
Inwas thinking about your question and to answer it honestly.. no. I don't think I have.
One thing i have noticed in sobriety though is if I spend too long with the same people (AA or otherwise) I will pick up a resentment about them. People just seem to really irritate me and I have a really low tolerance level! Who'd have thought hey?! Lol. So I do what is suggested in the BB. Pray for that person. And pray for patience, tolerance and compassion. Do my inventory. But I am also (let's keep this to AA) going to go to lots of different meetings instead of sticking to the usual one. I have a home group which I love but even there I can pick up resentments at the drop of a hat. Usually it is the same one or two members but not always. It can be anyone, take your pick!! I can see when I do inventory alot of the time it is because something is not right within me, but not always. I think I just get easily irritated by people. So my key now is to not spend too much time with rhe same people. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. But it does kind of relate slightly to the original post. To me anyway lol.
One thing i have noticed in sobriety though is if I spend too long with the same people (AA or otherwise) I will pick up a resentment about them. People just seem to really irritate me and I have a really low tolerance level! Who'd have thought hey?! Lol. So I do what is suggested in the BB. Pray for that person. And pray for patience, tolerance and compassion. Do my inventory. But I am also (let's keep this to AA) going to go to lots of different meetings instead of sticking to the usual one. I have a home group which I love but even there I can pick up resentments at the drop of a hat. Usually it is the same one or two members but not always. It can be anyone, take your pick!! I can see when I do inventory alot of the time it is because something is not right within me, but not always. I think I just get easily irritated by people. So my key now is to not spend too much time with rhe same people. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. But it does kind of relate slightly to the original post. To me anyway lol.
Yea I get easily irritated too that’s why I have to go to different meetings
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
For me, in scenarios such as with people that I consider to be over the top, avoidance has always proved to be a temporary solution at best, because I am pretty much guaranteed to come up against a similar situation in the future. If I want a more permanent solution, I have to work on why I get so easily irritated by the behavior of other people. Usually the answer of why boils down to a lack of humility on my part because obviously I know how other people should act and live their lives so why can't they see that!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by August252015
I'd ask what you mean by crusaders, reformers, over the top?
It seems that "definition" varies .... so really, it's up to you what you'd consider all that, and what it does or doesn't (probably more important) mean to YOUR sobriety? That being the specific and universal you.
It seems that "definition" varies .... so really, it's up to you what you'd consider all that, and what it does or doesn't (probably more important) mean to YOUR sobriety? That being the specific and universal you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
I recall a member telling me after a meeting I was trying to run the show. That I needed to stop playing the director. But it was my show. I was the one paying the bills. Outside of not picking up that first drink I found much of what others suggest subjective. In this particular situation what I needed to do was get out of my comfort zone and change what I could . Then like it or not accept what I couldn't. Not easy and it never is but that's how I grow. .
With regards to members who babble on and on or get on their soapbox when this happens you often see members start looking at their cellphone.
With regards to members who babble on and on or get on their soapbox when this happens you often see members start looking at their cellphone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 774
Originally Posted by Tommyh
I don`t worship AA or any AA book
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
When I'm properly aligned on the spiritual beam, there's literally nothing anyone can say or do what will upset me. To be fair, I'm not always ON the spiritual path - even though I may claim to be . When I notice myself getting angry, resentful, hateful of other ppl for "what they're saying or doing" it's a huge red-flag to my spirit that I'm way off course - again.
What does that line in the BB remind me - so our troubles we think, are of our own making and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot - though he usually doesn't think so.
When ppl are irritating the you-konw-what out of me, that's my sign that I had in my mind a specific set of instructions I wanted or required them to follow. Of course, I never gave them the instructions - I just expected them to "know better." Then, the other person doesn't behave as I wanted them to. They preach at a meeting...... or talk about stuff that completely contradicts the book...... and I get angry. So here I am again in the role of just another actor on the planet yet I have designs on how I want everything to run. When things don't go my way - ie, why my version of playing God isn't successful, I resent OTHERS for not doing what I wanted them to do. They're wrong! They shouldn't do that! They should know better! ...... might as well add : They better change what they're doing because my troubles are of THEIR making.
Don't they know I'm busy here playing God! I've got a role for them to do and they're NOT DOING IT!
I can see by practicing what's in the 3rd step, even doing an inventory in step 4 on the ppl I resent, sharing it in a 5th step, becoming willing in 6 and humbly asking in 7..... probably putting that person's name on an 8th step list because odds are I've taken some action behind my resentment that hurt them, and them making amends in 9 to see that Bill wasn't wrong - all my troubles are of my own making. Those troubles arise out of me. It's my false ego that wants to put the blame on others for my lack of spiritual fitness - because it's in vogue to do so....and because it helps me live in denial of how it was ME who took actions which set the whole damn thing up in the first place.
I dig these posts. Supposed "justified resentments" and what I came to learn about and from them were a MAAAAJOR contributor to my false ego being ground into oblivion. .......it does manage to resurrect itself from time to time though.
What does that line in the BB remind me - so our troubles we think, are of our own making and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot - though he usually doesn't think so.
When ppl are irritating the you-konw-what out of me, that's my sign that I had in my mind a specific set of instructions I wanted or required them to follow. Of course, I never gave them the instructions - I just expected them to "know better." Then, the other person doesn't behave as I wanted them to. They preach at a meeting...... or talk about stuff that completely contradicts the book...... and I get angry. So here I am again in the role of just another actor on the planet yet I have designs on how I want everything to run. When things don't go my way - ie, why my version of playing God isn't successful, I resent OTHERS for not doing what I wanted them to do. They're wrong! They shouldn't do that! They should know better! ...... might as well add : They better change what they're doing because my troubles are of THEIR making.
Don't they know I'm busy here playing God! I've got a role for them to do and they're NOT DOING IT!
I can see by practicing what's in the 3rd step, even doing an inventory in step 4 on the ppl I resent, sharing it in a 5th step, becoming willing in 6 and humbly asking in 7..... probably putting that person's name on an 8th step list because odds are I've taken some action behind my resentment that hurt them, and them making amends in 9 to see that Bill wasn't wrong - all my troubles are of my own making. Those troubles arise out of me. It's my false ego that wants to put the blame on others for my lack of spiritual fitness - because it's in vogue to do so....and because it helps me live in denial of how it was ME who took actions which set the whole damn thing up in the first place.
I dig these posts. Supposed "justified resentments" and what I came to learn about and from them were a MAAAAJOR contributor to my false ego being ground into oblivion. .......it does manage to resurrect itself from time to time though.
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