Realest

I came to AA to stop drinking not to become a spiritual guru. I feel like some people go overboard with the God thing. Also people are grateful for everything it seems but it also seems not genuine. How can someone be grateful for this or that a;l the time. Others in AA worship the big book and every word it says it’s kinda freaks me out. I just wanna take what I need and leave the rest.

nez

You are perfectly free to do that. Is something hindering you from doing that?

Realest

Yes sometimes I think people talk to much about god and religion and not focus on the basics

nez

So how does that hinder your plan? Sounds like it is just part of what you would be leaving instead of taking.

Realest

I’m just venting

nez

Okay, thanks.

nez

Nobody could help me until I became willing to be helped. In order to become willing I had to stop looking at how wrong everybody else was and instead look at how I was wrong.

PippoRossi

I'm not big into the whole spirituality / God thing myself. I rely on these forums, which suits me just fine, but I understand there are other secular groups out there. Have you tried any of those? SMART Recovery is one that I've heard of, but have no experience with (https://www.smartrecovery.org/get-started/).

tomsteve

you'll find that in any fellowship, organization, club, etc.
used to bother me,too. hell, it used to be me! the more time i was sober and understanding more, the more i stopped getting on the spiritual pedastal.
im still glad and greatful for those that talk constantly about God. id rather hear that then hear about em out still wreaking havoc or sharing drunalogues.
it seems the title of the thread and the actual problem,which there is a solution for, are 2 different things- AA too spirtual or some people in AA too spiritual?

Realest

I am not wrong I am simply pointing out that people in recovery stress the spiritual angle too freely and lose focus on not drinking a day at a time.

No I don’t wanna leave AA it’s fine I just think they become overly spiritual

tomsteve

wanna see em overly spiritual or overly drunk?
something my sponsor used to bugger me up with when id go to him complaining about other members:
"here ya are all jacked up about em and they aint thinkin about you one bit. do ya wanna be right or do ya wanna be free? "

realest, i."t might help ya to read the story,"acceptance was the answer."
starting after the acceptance was the answer part.
Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all
the men and women merely players.” He forgot to
mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able
to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I
was always glad to point it out, because I knew you
wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance
have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst
of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all
children of God and we each have a right to be here.
When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I
know better than God.

nez

I never said you were wrong. I was sharing in the first person singular and relating my experience.

I stopped drinking for 5 years while attending meetings but stayed a dry drunk during this period because I was still focused on how other people were wrong. I wound up relapsing.

When I came back into the rooms, I stopped trying to change everybody else and instead looked at how I was wrong. When I did that, recovery started.

least

For some people in AA, the spiritual part of the program is what keeps them sober a day at a time.

DayTrader

Interesting topic. I was thinking the ecact opposite this week at the 2 meetings ive gone to so far. Lots of discussion of what ppl ar the table like and dont like (kinda like this thread i suppose) but not much talk about how ro get free of these resentments. In the case of the folks at the meetings i was at, most of those folks havent had that vital spiritual experience yet so obviously they couldnt really share much on the miracle of that experience, not having had it yet.

I can walk into any bar around me and talk about my life, my problems, how others aren't doing what i want them to and so on.. i did plenty of that when i was drinking but it didnt really help much. I take that back, it did really hwlp me grow my reaentment list for my first 4th step. LOL.

id looooove to walk into meetings and hear only how ppl are experiencing new levels of freedom from things like resentment and fear, growing the depth of their serenity, opening up to new levels of power through their conscious contact with God, and so forth, but that's just what I'd like.... doesn't mean that's how things should be.

fini

Realest,
the book is really clear that the program, the solution that is offered, is a spiritual one.
this solution is what brings the power to not go back to drinking. this solution involves also staying “in spiritually fit condition”, which is the focus. as i understand it, that is where the focus is, on that daily condition, so to speak, which removes the focus from not drinking one day at a time, since that “problem” has been removed.

Gottalife

Could you offer some advice for someone like me on how to determine what I need and what I should leave. I mean this sounds like a pretty major, even life threatening, problem. How could someone who has no knowledge or experience, or any success to point to, in recovery from alcoholism, who has enormous difficulty just deciding what socks to wear for the day, how could I have made such a decision and what would be the chances that I would get it right?

I would really like to know the secret. Just at the moment, if I was to suggest that a specific individual could get sober that way, even though I have no evidence to support the idea, I would be a total liar.

When I came to AA, which has never been overtly religious in my part of the world, people often talked about the "spiritual" side of the program. Then it became apparent that there was no other side. It is especially obvious in step two, choosing recovery method. AA states we have a choice, face and alcoholic death or accept spiritual help. The third option would be try something else. By the time I got here, there was nothing else left to try.

Grungehead

Resentments were what fueled my alcoholism (the BB does say they are the number 1 offender for alcoholics and I found that true for me).

The solution to deal with my resentments are the 12 steps (steps 4-9 in particular). The steps are a spiritual solution. And if you work steps 10-12 on a regular basis you'll find it's a really good way to keep your resentment list short on names.

I might me wrong here Realest but it sounds like you may have a couple resentments bubbling up yourself, either at the program or at a few people in the program...my guess would be the latter. Maybe time to put some names to paper and run them through 4-9?

Ken33xx

As was mentioned before take what you need and leave the rest. I stopped attending the Tuesday evening meeting because I felt like I was listening to a sermon and the chairperson the preacher.

Nice guy and I'm sure others enjoy the meeting.

However, after attending twice I've decided it's not for me.

Ken33xx

I suspect some people might not seen genuine because they worry about what others think. Easier to get along by going along. Don't share anything which others might find unsettling

On the other hand a fellow at yesterdays meeting said he never experienced an spiritual awaking before, during or after working the 12 steps.

But then he has 33 years of sobriety and isn't shy about speaking his mind.

FeelingGreat

I'm not comfortable with the religion/spiritual side of AA, but I would have been willing to put up with it to get sober. As it happens I never had to make that choice.

I do understand what you're say Realest, and I suppose it's up to you whether to accept the trade-off of AA, or maybe seek other forms of support.