Dave42001

May 19

Daily Reflections

GIVING WITHOUT STRINGS

And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra
dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 69

The concept of giving without strings was hard to understand when I
first came into the program. I was suspicious when others wanted to
help me. I thought, "What do they want in return?" But I soon
learned the joy of helping another alcoholic and I understood why they
were there for me in the beginning. My attitudes changed and I
wanted to help others. Sometimes I became anxious, as I wanted them
to know the joys of sobriety, that life can be beautiful. When my life
is full of a loving God of my understanding and I give that love to my
fellow alcoholic, I feel a special richness that is hard to explain.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Fellowship is a big part of staying sober. The doctors call it group
therapy. We never go to an A.A. meeting without taking something
out of it. Sometimes we don't feel like going to a meeting and we think
of excuses for not going. But we usually end up by going anyway and
we always get some lift out of every meeting. Meetings are part of
keeping sober. And we get more out of a meeting if we try to contribute
something to it. Am I contributing my share at meetings?

Meditation For The Day

"He brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set
my feet upon a rock and established my goings." The first part, "He
brought me up out of a horrible pit," means that by turning to God and
putting my problems in His hands, I am able to overcome my sins and
temptations. "He set my feet upon a rock" means that when I trust
God in all things, I have true security. "He established my goings"
means that if I honestly try to live the way God wants me to live, I will
have God's guidance in my daily living.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that my feet may be set upon a rock. I pray that I may rely on
God to guide my comings and goings.

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As Bill Sees It

Basis of All Humility, p. 139

For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively
by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was
a working faith in a Higher Power impossible.

This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could
actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren
because we were still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we
placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power
was out of the question.

That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's
will, was missing.

12 & 12, p. 72

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Walk in Dry Places

Principles are Enduring
Problem Solving
We often emphasize -Principles before personalities-- in Twelve Step programs, sometimes without fully understanding what's involved. The real message of this slogan is that we should treat people equally while following certain guidelines in our own actions.
While we are influenced by strong personalities, we cannot rely on them for complete guidance and direction. People can betray us or simply fail us through no fault of their own. Principles, on the other hand, are enduring and will be with us long after personal relationships wither away.
One unfailing principle for living is to live each day remembering that God is guiding and directing all actions and outcomes. While we will be grateful for the assistance and cooperation of others, we will not hold them responsible for our success or failures.
I'll live today with the belief that God's good plan is working in all people's lives. I will not expect too much or too little of others, but rather will deal with them fairly and decently.

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Keep It Simple

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.---Marcus Aurelius
The struggles of life teach us a lot. They challenge our beliefs. As we struggle, we come to believe that our friends, family, and Higher Power will be there for us in hard times. But we must do our part. We need to call and honestly let people know how we are doing. We need to pray and ask our Higher Power for help. If we do these things, we'll come to respect and learn from hard times.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for the wisdom to see that struggles are part of live. Higher Power, I pray for Your help in not taking struggles too personally.
Action for the Day: I'll list four times I've struggled and what I learned from each stuggle. I'll share this with a friend.

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Each Day a New Beginning

. . . if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else. --Simone Weil
Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to think, "If only . . ." However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times.
So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within" is such a grand platitude at those times.
Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. "Going within" takes, first, a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then, patience. But peace will come.
We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering.
I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums —we could increase the list ad infinitum.

p. 31

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history.

So my wife and I found a psychiatric social worker at the local Jewish Family Services agency. She saw us as a couple, then individually, then together, and so it went. When we were together, we worked on our interpersonal problems. When I saw her by myself, she would talk about drinking. I don't know why she kept bringing it up. I drank, but not that much. I never even mentioned my drinking except maybe to say, "Yes, I do drink," when she asked. It wasn't the problem--the other things were. One day she read me some questions from a pamphlet, which I answered honestly. She concluded that maybe I drank too much, and we talked about that for several sessions.
p. 399

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers."

Neither could A.A. itself function without full-time workers. At the Foundation* and intergroup offices, we couldn't employ nonalcoholics as secretaries; we had to have people who knew the A.A. pitch. But the minute we hired them, the ultraconservative and fearful ones shrilled, "Professionalism! " At one period, the status of these faithful servants was almost unbearable. They weren't asked to speak at A.A. meetings because they were "making money out of A.A." At times, they were actually shunned by fellow members. Even the charitably disposed described them as "a necessary evil." Committees took full advantage of this attitude to depress their salaries. They could regain some measure of virtue, it was thought, if they worked for A.A. real cheap. These notions persisted for years. Then we saw that if a hard working secretary answered the phone dozens of times a day, listened to twenty wailing wives, arranged hospitalization and got sponsorship for ten newcomers, and was gently diplomatic with the irate drunk who complained about the job she was doing and how she was overpaid, then such a person could surely not be called a professional A.A. She was not professionalizing the Twelfth Step; she was just making it possible. She was helping to give the man coming in the door the break he ought to have. Volunteer committeemen and assistants could be of great help, but they could not be expected to carry this load day in and day out.

pp. 168-169

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An old timer had shared in the meeting about praying for something,
and that God had answered her request. Someone asked her, "How
do you know it was God who granted your request?"
She replied..."I didn't ask anyone else."
--unknown

"When someone does something well, applaud! You will make two
people happy."
--Samuel Goldwyn

"Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings
of recovery."
--Abby Warman

Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health,
happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your
friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side
of everything. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and
expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as
you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on
to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to
criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.
--Christian D. Larsen

Try to enjoy everything you do, Life is too short not to.
--unknown

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MONEY

"Money is the symbol of duty. It
is the sacrament of having done
for mankind that which mankind
wanted."
--Samuel Butler

St. Paul said, "The laborer is worthy of his hire." In one sense money -
how people pay us for the services we have performed - is symbolic of
our value in the community. Of course, this is not always true and
people can make money by dishonest and destructive methods.

However, in our society money is also a force behind much creativity
and job satisfaction. The danger is to become a "snob". Thinking that
we are better than others because we earn more money.

Spirituality is about discovering the "oneness" of mankind and
incorporating our creative "difference" - we can all learn from each
other. Pretentiousness is indicative of insecurities that need to be
dealt within our recovery program.

O Lord, let my gratitude be seen in my relationship with others.

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"To you, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 'What gain is
there in my destruction, in my going down to the pit? Will the dust
praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be
merciful to me; O Lord, be my help.' You turned my wailing into
dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my
heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give
you thanks forever."
Psalm 30:8-12

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Daily Inspiration

It is far better to feel fulfilled than to feel important because you have taken on too much. Lord, help me eliminate the unnecessary demands in my life which only cause stress.

We are powerless to change our past, but we can change how we look at it. Lord, help me to realize that my past has made me a stronger person and show me that these experiences have taught me valuable life lessons.

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NA Just For Today

A Growth Inventory

"We review our past performance and our present behavior to see what we want to keep and what we want to discard."
Basic Text, p. 29

As each day winds to a close, many of us reflect on the past twenty-four hours and consider how we can live differently in the future. It's easy for our thoughts to remain trapped in the mundane: change the oil in the car, keep the living room clean, or empty the litter box. Sometimes it takes a special effort to jog our thinking out of the daily rut and onto a higher track.

One simple question can put us on the high road: What do we think our Higher Power wants for us tomorrow? Maybe we need to improve our flagging conscious contact with the God of our understanding. Perhaps we've been uncomfortable in our job or our relationship, holding on only out of fear. We might be hiding some troubling defect of character, afraid to share it with our sponsor. The question is, in what parts of our lives do we really want to grow?

As each day ends, we find it beneficial to take some moments to spend time with our Higher Power. We can begin to reflect on what will benefit our program of spiritual growth most in the coming day. We think about the areas in which we have grown recently, and target areas that still require work. What more fitting way to end the day?

Just for today: I will set aside some time at the end of the day to commune with my Higher Power. I will review the past day, meditating on what stands between me and my Higher Power's will for my life.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
As we learn we always change, and so our perception. This changed perception then becomes a new Teacher inside each of us. --Hyemeyohsts Storm
Hyemeyohsts Storm's book, Seven Arrows, tells the stories of one of the Indian tribes in this country before most of its members were killed. They believed that change was important for growth. Change is sometimes frightening. We usually prefer the familiar, no matter how uncomfortable, over taking a chance on the unknown.
When fear gets in the way of making healthy changes, we talk to fear, inviting it along with us on our course of action. Getting to know fear allows us to ask it for a gift: the courage to walk with fear by our side and learn from it as we go. It allows us to learn which fear is blocking our progress and which fear is healthy--cautioning us against actions that might be harmful.
What fear might I make a friend of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. --Doug Larson
We are men on a quest. We seek the serenity of being friendly toward the world and toward ourselves. The spiritual practices we follow are personal and quiet, not spectacular or dazzling. We have been part of the throng seeking stimulating highs. Some of us know the excitement and escape of saving others from their own troubles or drowning ourselves in activity and work. We may know the mellowness of a drug or food binge. Perhaps we know the heart-pounding intensity of shoplifting, gambling, or sexual pursuit.
The way of life suggested by this simple program changes us deeply if we fully surrender to it. This spiritual quest changes us slowly over time, and our reward is contentment. It produces a joy, a feeling of well-being, which is far richer than the momentary pleasures we sought in the past.
Today, I am grateful for a way of life which leads me toward a contentment I can rely on.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else. --Simone Weil
Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to think, "If only . . ." However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times.
So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within" is such a grand platitude at those times.
Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. "Going within" takes, first, a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then, patience. But peace will come.
We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering.
I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Solving Problems
Shame is the first feeling that strikes me whenever I, or someone I love, has a problem, said one recovering woman.
Many of us were raised with the belief that having a problem is something to be ashamed of.
This belief can do many damaging things to us. It can stop us from identifying our problems; it can make us feel alienated and inferior when we have, or someone we love has, a problem. Shame can block us from solving a problem and finding the gift from the problem.
Problems are a part of life. So are solutions. People have problems, but we, and our self-esteem, are separate from our problems.
I've yet to meet a person who didn't have problems to solve, but I've met many who felt shamed to talk about the problems they actually had solved!
We are more than our problems. Even if our problem is our own behavior, the problem is not who we are it's what we did.
Its okay to have problems. Its okay to talk about problems at appropriate times, and with safe people. Its okay to solve problems.
And were okay, even when we have, or someone we love, has a problem. We don't have to forfeit our personal power or our self-esteem. We have solved exactly the problems we've needed to solve to become who we are.
Today, I will let go of my shame about problems.

I love the person that I am becoming. --Diane Crosby written by ~ Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Don’t Be Afraid of Making Mistakes

Don’t be afraid of making a mistake. That energy can create more mistakes. It can stop us from enjoying what we’re doing. It can block us from creating freely and making something beautiful.

Sometimes it’s necessary and important to make mistakes, to fumble around and do something poorly so we can learn to do it better next time. No matter what we’re doing or what we’re learning, we have to start somewhere. Look back at the past. We learned by trying, stumbling, falling, getting back up, and trying again. But we wouldn’t be where we’re at if we hadn’t begun where we were.

Jump in, begin, and do the task as best you can. Stop worrying about mistakes, and let yourself do it as well as you can right now. If you do it wrong or poorly, you can do it over again. And when you do it in an attitude of love, you won’t fail. You’ll learn something new about yourself, life, and the task.

Love yourself enough to try. Let yourself make mistakes. Tell yourself you don’t have to do it perfectly. Let yourself have fun while you’re learning. Start where you are, and do what you can. Learning and getting better will happen from there.

You may not always know the best way in the beginning, but if you keep trying, you’ll quickly learn to tell when you’re on track.

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More language of letting go

Tell yourself how long you’ll wait

Use deadlines as a tool.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. We don’t know what to do next. We don’t know how to solve the problem. We don’t know the course that’s going to unfold. Maybe we’re seeing someone, and the relationship isn’t gaining momentum, but it’s not time to push the issue. Maybe all we need to do is give the other person a little space and time to work through his or her stuff. Maybe the business that we’re pursuing isn’t gaining any momentum, but things may change course. Part of us, the obsessive part, says, “I need to know right now.” But the other part of us, the serene, wise part, says, “Relax. It’s not time. You don’t have all the information yet.”

Create a deadline, a private one, with yourself. Tell yourself you’ll give it six weeks or three months or maybe a year to change course. Then you’ll evaluate the data and make a decision about what to do next.

Sometiimes, setting a deadline is all we need to do to help ourselves relax. We know we’re not trapped. We’re not being a victim. We’re making a conscious decision to let go and let things unfold.

God, grant me the serenity to not try to force outcomes and solutions too soon.

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Special Messengers
Reconnecting with Friends

Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution to our life stories. There are those who play large roles and make deep impressions, but sometimes a brief special appearance before life takes them in another direction creates a meaningful connection. It is a rare gift when they suddenly reappear in our lives after a long absence.

Though the world may seem full of more people than we could ever know, we are often drawn to people with similar energy, which brings us together time and time again. On first meeting, the characters in our life stories may seem familiar. We may know each other from past lives or perhaps we merely recognize the energy of a kindred spirit. But when fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason. They may act as messengers, reminding us of a part of ourselves we have forgotten to nurture. They might appear to give us a chance to react in a new way to an old situation. They may even bring up unresolved issues so that we may complete them, giving us the chance to move forward on our life path. Whether old friends, previous romances, or once and future partners, their reappearance is more than mere chance. They may never know what they bring into our lives, but the renewed contact is a gift.

If this hasn’t happened to you, maybe you are meant to initiate contact by seeking out old friends. If old friends come to mind or into your dreams, use their appearance as an excuse to get in touch. If an old song or movie reminds you of them, reach out to share the gift of renewed contact. Wherever you fall in the circle of connection and reconnection, be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to enjoy the deeper gift that this revelation brings. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith,” wrote AA co-founder Bill W. “And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God’s love; I was alone no more.” Am I convinced that my new life is real and that it will last so long as I continue doing what The Program and Twelve Steps suggest that I do?

Today I Pray

May God be the ever-present third party in my relationships with others, whether they are casual or involve a deep emotional commitment. May I be aware that if there is real friendship or love between human beings, God’s spirit is always present. May I feel His spirit in all my human relationships.

Today I Will Remember

God is The Divine Third.

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One More Day

The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets successfully through many a bad night.
– Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Many of us pretend that the thought of suicide has never crossed our minds, but our thoughts may occasionally become morbid — and we may be frightened.

These thoughts may seem harmful, but they may actually be helpful. Thoughts of suicide can force us to recognize how much we value living.

As we contemplate the moment at which our life would end, we struggle and notice our desire for life, although we may no understand why we have this desire. What’s important is that we gave ourselves the choice of death and did not choose it. As we feel the joy of that decision we can think more of ourselves and of our worth. We really do want to live and are strong enough to know that suicide is not an acceptable solution to our problems

I feel joy from knowing I can choose life.

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Food For Thought

Resentments

When we hang on to resentments, we poison ourselves. As compulsive overeaters, we cannot afford resentment, since it exacerbates our disease. If we do not get rid of our anger and bitterness, we will suffer more than anyone. Seeking revenge will harm ourselves in the long run.

Many of us have carried around old grudges, which caused us to reach for food when we thought about them. We don't need the food and we don't need the grudges, either. When we give away the resentments, we are that much lighter in body and in spirit. Now that we have found OA, we have a way to get rid of the animosity and indignation, which has been poisoning our system.

Taking inventory and making amends is an essential part of burying resentments. We need to first be consciously aware of them before we can give them away. These steps usually need to be taken again and again as negative material threatens our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Take away my resentments, Lord.

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One Day At A Time

~ DENIAL ~
The ability to delude yourself
may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner


I had many delusions when I entered the Twelve Step program. One by one they have shattered, but only when I was able to handle the truth.

Still, I have looked back at the things I was in denial about during my sickness, and I blamed myself for not seeing the truth sooner, for not seeking recovery sooner. On the good days, which are becoming more and more common for me, I see that my denial was indeed a survival tool.

I spent 33 years with eating disorders without ever consciously knowing about them. Subconsciously, I was very interested in books and movies about anorexia and bulimia, and was fascinated to learn about compulsive overeating. I can only believe I was unknowingly preparing myself for the day when I would be able to face my addiction and still survive.

One day at a time...
I will remind myself that many things are in our lives for a reason, even denial.
~ Rhonda H. ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

THE FACT IS THAT MOST ALCOHOLICS, FOR REASONS YET OBSCURE, HAVE LOST THE POWER OF CHOICE IN DRINK. OUR SO-CALLED WILL POWER BECOMES PRACTICALLY NONEXISTENT. WE ARE UNABLE, AT CERTAIN TIMES, TO BRING INTO OUR CONSCIOUSNESS WITH SUFFICIENT FORCE THE MEMORY OF THE SUFFERING AND HUMILIATION OF EVEN A WEEK OR A MONTH AGO. WE ARE WITHOUT DEFENSE AGAINST THE FIRST DRINK. - Pg. 24 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

To want a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort is not bad, it is a perfectly normal state of being for an addict. But each hour we stay clean eventually makes a day. Each day brings us closer to health of body, mind, and spirit. Eventually 'craving' our chemicals will not be normal, but a thing of our diseased past.

Let me know that the state of craving my drug of choice will one day be replaced with feeling my true emotions.

My Reservoir of Peace

There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. It is my responsibility to maintain and attend to it. Whatever I do in the world, my serenity comes first. I owe it to no one. I will pay attention today to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance and I will take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to remember that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently the people, places and things of my day. I will work daily to build my serenity muscles so that I stay strong and flexible. Serenity isn't something that I can just grab and have. I need to nourish it through quiet and reflection and come back to it what I lose it. My serenity is mine to look after. I give myself the gift of my own serenity today and every day.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

The next time a newcomer tells you, 'The program isn't working for me,' agree with them. They are right. Then explain to them that the only people who stay clean and sober are the ones who work the program, not the ones who wait for the program to work for them.

I must do the work or it doesn't get done.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you suffer from low self-esteem, do estimable things.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I love the person that I am becoming. - Diane Crosby

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I don't think it's a coincidence that the word 'spirit' means God and it means alcohol. - Cubby S.
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