In my 3rd year of sobriety, I developed resentments towards several people and all but stopped going to meetings for about 3 years. Mainly, I was still very selfish and immature. I didn't drink during that time, however, I did get pretty emotionally sick and I remember thinking one day, "Maybe I'm not an alcoholic" and I actually entertained the idea for many hours before my HP revealed to me it was a delusion. Shortly after this, my ex husband died of an overdose and I was really shocked and gutted emotionally, especially for our 15 year old daughter who was heartbroken.
Again, my HP intervened and a voice just said to me, "You need to go back to AA." So I did. And my whole attitude changed. I was no longer there to take, but to give so freely what had been given to me. I looked at every meeting as an opportunity to help someone else, and with that attitude I was helped and I grew spiritually and developed a stronger sense of God as I Understood God.
Since then, I go to 2-4 meetings a week, sponsor women, am active in service, and try to put the good of AA before my own brilliant ideas, lol.
I certainly don't want to relapse, but I don't dwell on it. I just try and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, growing spiritually, and enjoying my life.
All Big Book quotes taken from Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Ed.