Dave42001

Daily Reflections

A LIFETIME PROCESS

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we
couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey
to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we
had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we
were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to
other people. . . .
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52

These words remind me that I have more problems than
alcohol, that alcohol is only a symptom of a more
pervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I began a
lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions,
painful relationships, and unmanageable situations.
This process is too much for most of us without help
from a Higher Power and our friends in the Fellowship.
When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program,
many of these tangled threads unraveled but, little
by little, the most broken places of my life
straightened out. One day at a time, almost
imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being
turned down, my fears diminished. I began to experience
moments of contentment. My emotions became less
volatile. I am now once again a part of the human
family.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

All alcoholics have personality problems. They drink to
escape from life, to counteract feelings of loneliness or
inferiority, or because of some emotional conflict within
them, so that they cannot adjust themselves to life.
Alcoholics cannot stop drinking unless they find a way to
solve their personality problems. That's why going on the
wagon doesn't solve anything. That's why taking the pledge
usually doesn't work. Was my personality problem ever
solved by going on the wagon or taking the pledge?

Meditation For The Day

God irradiates your life with the warmth of His spirit.
You must open up like a flower to this divine irradiation.
Loosen your hold on earth, its cares, and its worries.
Unclasp your hold on material things, relax your grip, and
the tide of peace and serenity will flow in. Relinquish
every material thing and receive it back again from God.
Do not hold on to earth's treasures so firmly that your
hands are too occupied to clasp God's hands as He holds
them out to you in love.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be open to receive God's blessing.
I pray that I may be willing to relinquish my hold on
material things and receive them back from God.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

When Defects Are Less Than Deadly, p. 96

Practically everybody wishes to be rid of his most glaring and
destructive handicaps. No one wants to be so proud that he is
scorned as a braggart, nor so greedy that he is labeled a thief. No
one wants to be angry enough to murder, lustful enough to rape,
gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No one wants to be agonized by
chronic envy or paralyzed by sloth.

Of course, most human beings don't suffer these defects at these
rock-bottom levels, and we who have escaped such extremes are apt
to congratulate ourselves. Yet can we? After all, hasn't it been
self-interest that has enabled most of us to escape? Not much
spiritual effort is involved in avoiding excesses which will bring us
punishment anyway. But when we face up to the less violent aspects
of these very same defects, where do we stand then?

12 & 12, p. 66

************************************************** *********

Walk in Dry Places

The Barrier of Sick Pride
Sharing Feelings
Pride can be either sick or healthy. It's sick pride that keeps us in bondage to alcohol. It's healthy pride that emerges when we have high self-esteem. Finding the right path in sobriety always involves a battle to keep sick pride out of our lives.
What if I'm at a discussion meeting and I feel reluctant to admit that certain character defects are still giving me trouble? Can this be sick pride carrying on the pretense that I have risen above such problems? What if someone takes issue with a point I've tried to make in a discussion? Does sick pride cause me to react in self-defense?
We learn in the 12 Step program that we gain nothing by attempting to conceal our character defects from our fellow members. We gain everything by sharing our true feelings and letting others know we are vulnerable human beings. There is never any need to defend or explain anything we've tried to say in a meeting. The real message always comes through in our attitude, and it will reach those for whom it's intended.
I'll check myself today to see if sick pride is dictating what I say and do. The more I can let others see me as I really am, the more honest my relationships will be.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.---Chinese proverb
We're going down a new-road---in our recovery and in our lives. We don't know the road. We only know we're on the right one, because our Higher Power led us here. We ask for help from those who already know the road. We ask our sponsor, "How far is it until I get done feeling guilty?"
"How far to self-love?" "How bumpy is the road when I'm at Step Four?" We need people who have been in the program. They tell us where to slow down because this part of the trip is beautiful.
Someday, maybe today, we too will be called on to guide others.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You've put me on this road. You've also put others on this road. Let them be my guide. Let my guides become my friends.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll find someone who has been in the program two or more years longer than me. I'll ask that person what the road ahead is like.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. --Jennie Jerome Churchill
Taking our friends and loved ones for granted, expecting perfection from them in every instance, greatly lessens the value we have in one another's life. Being hard on those closest to us may relieve some of the tension we feel about our own imperfections, but it creates another tension, one that may result in our friends leaving us behind.
We need the reminder, perhaps, that our friends are special to our growth. Our paths have crossed with reason. We complete a portion of the plan for one another's life. And for such gifts we need to offer gratitude.
Each of us is endowed with many qualities, some more enhancing than others; it is our hope, surely, that our lesser qualities will be ignored. We must do likewise for our friends. We can focus on the good, and it will flourish--in them, in ourselves, in all situations. A positive attitude nurtures everyone. Let us look for the good and, in time, it is all that will catch our attention.
I can make this day one to remember with fondness. I will appreciate a friend. I will let her know she matters in my life. Her life will be enhanced by my attention.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

BILL'S STORY

My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability.

p. 13

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

ME AN ALCOHOLIC? - Alcohol's wringer squeezed this author--but he escaped quite whole.

Meanwhile I was getting worse, both as regards my inward misery and my drinking. My daily alcoholic consumption remained about the same through all this, with perhaps a slight increase, and my binges remained one-nighters. But they were occurring with alarming frequency. In seven years the intervals between them decreased from eight months to ten days! And they were growing uglier. One night I barely made my downtown club; if I'd had to go another fifty feet, I'd have collapsed in the gutter. On another occasion I arrived home covered with blood. I'd deliberately smashed a window. With all this it was becoming increasingly hard to maintain my front of distinction and respectability to the world. My personality was stretched almost to splitting in the effort; schizophrenia stared me in the face, and one night I was in a suicidal despair.
pp. 384-385

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole."

There were, though, a few conservative dissenters among the alcoholics. the wrote the Foundation*, A.A.'s headquarters in New York, wanting to know about this sort of streamlining. They understood that the elders, just to nail things down good, were about to apply to the Foundation for a charter. These few were disturbed and skeptical.

*In 1954, The name of the Alcoholic Foundation, Inc. was changed to the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, Inc. and the Foundation office is now the General Service Office.

p. 148

************************************************** *********

God, help me to let go of my need to control and to be open to the flow
of the universe.
-Melody Beattie

It becomes a hard life when we pray to God for all sorts of help but we
won't be quiet, sit back, and listen for the answers God provides.
Don't dominate the conversation: Be silent and listen a little. In other
words, meditate. Quiet down and observe your life.
--John-Roger

Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think
unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we
respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it.
If something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell
on the negative parts of our experience. Whatever we give energy to,
we empower.
--Melody Beattie

"Notice the acts of kindness other people do rather than their
wrongdoing. This is how the loving presence views you. We are all
good, decent, loving souls who occasionally get lost."
--Wayne Dyer

"When things go wrong, don't go with them."
--Anon.

"It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark."
--Howard Ruff

We can trust God for daily protection.
--John D. Byers

************************************************** *********

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PRIDE

"Though pride is not a virtue, it is
the parent of many virtues."
--M. C. Collins

I need to remember that "pride" is not necessarily a negative. It is
sensible to have a balanced pride in my sobriety because self-esteem
will grow from the pride and respect I give to myself. God has made
me and is involved with me and, therefore, I am a beautiful person.

Balanced pride helps me with my appearance, grooming and personal
etiquette that comes with clothes, fashion and hairstyles. Pride helps
me with my communication skills - I work hard at being understood,
speaking out clearly and developing better methods of being
understood.

Pride stops me from being taken advantage of, enabling me to say
"no" to others while still feeling good about myself. A healthy sense of
pride is essential for spiritual growth.

Lord, let me have a realistic appreciation of myself that leads to
achievement.

************************************************** *********

"For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures
to all generations."
Psalms 100:5

"If you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me."
Jeremiah 29:13-14

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Psalm 91:2

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Don't think less of yourself than God thinks of you. He has created us with worth and value beyond our comprehension. Lord, help me to live daily knowing that I am very valuable and do make a difference.

The choices we make will affect our lives for better or for worse. Lord, You have given me all that I need to make wise choices. May I always take time to listen to You.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Growing Honestly

"On a practical level, changes occur because what's appropriate to one phase of recovery may not be for another."
Basic Text p. 101

When we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us had no legitimate occupation. Not all of us suddenly decide we're going to become honest and productive model citizens the moment we arrive in NA. But we soon find, in recovery, that we are not so comfortable doing many of the things we once did without a second thought when we were using.

As we grow in our recovery, we begin to be honest in matters that probably hadn't bothered us when we used. We start returning extra change a cashier may have given us by mistake, or admitting when we hit a parked car. We find that if we can begin to be honest in these small ways the bigger tests of our honesty become much easier to handle.

Many of us came here with very little capacity to be honest. But we find that as we work the Twelve Steps, our lives begin to change. We are no longer comfortable when we benefit at the expense of others. And we can feel good about our newfound honesty.

Just for today: I will examine the level of honesty in my life and see if I'm comfortable with it.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In quarreling about the shadow, we often lose the substance. --Aesop
There is a fable about a man and his camel who were hired by a wealthy man to get him across the desert. The journey was so hot that they stopped to rest one day, and the only shade to be found was in the shadow of the camel. The two of them began to argue about who had the rights to the camel's shadow--the owner or the renter. They were so involved in their argument that the camel ran away and they didn't notice until it was long gone.
Sometimes we get so caught up in being right that we become like these two, fighting over a shadow. Instead of paying attention to our journey and sharing what we have, we let ourselves get distracted. It is more important to notice what we have, to share it as best we can, and continue our journey.
What can I share with another today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I had gone through life thinking I was better than everyone else and at the same time, being afraid of everyone. I was afraid to be me. --Dennis Wholey
Looking back to the codependent or addictive times in our lives, we see with the perfect vision of hindsight. It is both embarrassing and humorous to see how misguided and deluded we were then. Grandiose images of ourselves isolated us from those around us and cut us off from true friendships with others. Many of us had strong feelings about ourselves that were in conflict - we felt both special and unworthy.
In this program we grow over time to have a more realistic self-concept. We are not exactly like everyone else, but we are more like them than different. It's okay to be like others, and it's comforting, too. Accepting this, we grow fully into the whole men we were meant to be, and we relish the joy of friendship.
May I accept the guidance of my Higher Power in developing a realistic and comfortable self-image.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. --Jennie Jerome Churchill
Taking our friends and loved ones for granted, expecting perfection from them in every instance, greatly lessens the value we have in one another's life. Being hard on those closest to us may relieve some of the tension we feel about our own imperfections, but it creates another tension, one that may result in our friends leaving us behind.
We need the reminder, perhaps, that our friends are special to our growth. Our paths have crossed with reason. We complete a portion of the plan for one another's life. And for such gifts we need to offer gratitude.
Each of us is endowed with many qualities, some more enhancing than others; it is our hope, surely, that our lesser qualities will be ignored. We must do likewise for our friends. We can focus on the good, and it will flourish--in them, in ourselves, in all situations. A positive attitude nurtures everyone. Let us look for the good and, in time, it is all that will catch our attention.
I can make this day one to remember with fondness. I will appreciate a friend. I will let her know she matters in my life. Her life will be enhanced by my attention.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Patience
How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been met and were in the midst of anxiety, frustration, and inaction.
Do not confuse the suggestion to be patient with the old rule about not having feelings.
Being patient does not mean we go through the sometimes-grueling process of life and recovery without having feelings! Feel the frustration. Feel the impatience. Get as angry as you need to about not having your needs met. Feel your fear.
Controlling our feelings will not control the process!
We find patience by surrendering to our feelings. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. When we work through our feelings to fully accept who we are and what we have, we will be ready to be and have more.
Today, I will let myself have my feelings while I practice patience.


Today I am breaking out of old patterns, rewriting old tapes and letting my life flow with joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

*********************************************

Journey To The Heart

Be Present for Yourself

Learn to be present for yourself, fully present in a way that’s new and delightful. Be present for your thoughts and emotions. Be present for the gentle way in which your heart and body lead you on. Learn to be fully present for each step of your growth, each step of your journey.

Value yourself, who you are, what you think and feel, and how you grow. For many years you neglected yourself. It was as though you were unconscious of who you were, how you felt, what you believed. You believed that kept you safe, protected you from feelings you didn’t want to feel. You believed it was how you should live. Now you are learning another way. Survival is no longer enough. It does not meet the needs of your heart and your soul. Now you want to live fully and joyfully. To do that, you must be present for yourself.

Be fully present for others,too. Be present for their spirits, their emotions, the words thay have to say to you, but especially be present for their hearts. You no longer have to fear losing or neglecting yourself if you are present for others. You can do this safely now. You will not be consumed by their needs, you will not become trapped in the workings of their lives. And if you’re present for yourself, you’ll know how much presence to give others.

Be present for life– for the starlit skies and the chirping birds that sing in the morning sun. Be present for the earth and grass under your feet, for the feel of a snowflake in your hand. Be present for all the magic and mysteries of the universe.

But most of all, be present for yourself. Then your presence for others and life will naturally follow.

*********************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

The power of thoughts

In 1922, Egypt hailed the discovery of King Tut’s tomb by archaeologist Harold Carter. On the walls of the tomb, the magicians had scrawled that a severe punishment would befall anyone disturbing the contents of the burial site.

Over the next ten years, more than twenty people involved with the excavation died suddenly or mysteriously.

Whether you call it a curse or a hypnotic suggestion of sorts, what we’re talking about is the tremendous impact that suggestions have on us. We’re talking about the power of belief.

Many of us spend thousands of dollars in therapy and years of our lifetime disentangling our thoughts from the beliefs of our parents, beliefs that were passed on to them by their parents, and their grandparents, and even further on down the ancestral line.

Sometimes, the effects of other people’s thoughts are less blatant, and even more controlling. We can react instinctively to the silent demands of a spouse or lover, or a boss. They smile or frown– or just look at us– and we know what they mean and expect. Sometimes a casual comment by a friend can send us into a tailspin when he or she suggests, You can’t do that; it won’t work. Do it this way. Months later, when the way we’re trying to do it isn’t working out and we still keep trying and wonder why, we look back and say, “Oh. My friend told me to do it this way. Maybe he was wrong.”

An important part of living in harmony with others means we enjoy doing things that please them, and we don’t unnecssarily or maliciously hurt those with whom we interact. An important part of being true to ourselves means checking ourselves from time to time to see if the things we’re doing are really what we want, or if we’re just a puppet and someone else is pulling our strings.

God, help me respect the power of belief.

Activity: Try a little experiment to prove to yourself how strong the mind is. Walk up to two people, whether you know them or not. Think something very positive and loving about them, but don’t say these thoughts out loud.

*********************************************

In God’s Care

The life of the spirit is centrally and essentially a life of action. Spirituality is something done, not merely something believed or known or experienced.
~~ Mary McDermott Shideler

We often think of a spiritual life as a life of contemplation, of distancing ourselves from the rest of the world. Actually, spirituality is action. We can include spirituality in our day-to-day routines whenever we want. We can transform mundane activities into links to our Creator merely by offering a silent prayer.

As we open an envelope or listen to a sales presentation, we can think of the power and the love we are receiving this moment from God. As we hear the ring of a telephone or have the day’s first cup of coffee – any number of ordinary things – we can remember that we are here by the grace of God. When we extend a helping hand, we’re saying thanks to God. A smile, a kind word, a hug – all are everyday spiritual acts.

I can take spiritual action in ordinary living.

*********************************************

Intelligence Speaks for Itself
The Fear of Appearing Dumb

The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself. The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or capability, you deny others the opportunity! to become acquainted with the real and terrific individual you truly are.

The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is a chance that you won’t excel or taking part in discussions with others who may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear—one experienced by almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and resp! ect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul.

The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, "this is who I am and I am proud of the person I have become." Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

*********************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What do we say to a person who has slipped, or one who calls for help? WE can carry the message, if they’re willing to listen; we can share our experience, strength and hope. Perhaps the most important thing we can do, however, is to tell the person that we love him or her, that we’re truly happy he or she is back, and that we want to help all we can. And we must mean it. Can I still “go to school” and continue to learn from the mistakes and adversities of others?

Today I Pray

May I always have enough love to welcome back to the group someone who has slipped. May I listen to that person’s story-of-woe, humbly. For there, but for my Higher Power, go I. May I learn from others’ mistakes and pray that i will not re-enact them.

Today I Will Remember

Sobriety is never fail-safe.

*********************************************

One More Day

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
– Edward John Phelps

We feel so vulnerable when we have a chronic illness, almost as though we are specimens, displayed as oddities. Because of our vulnerable feelings, we may be reluctant to undertake new experiences out of fear that we may expose ourselves to ridicule. Yet, actually, few people take the time or trouble to stare.

Living a sequestered life and taking no chances is not the answer. There are always options available to us, but they may be different options from those we previously considered. We can decide to take new directions. The image we show to others is a reflection of the image we carry within.

Trying to reach past my mistakes into new successes enhances my life.

************************************

Food For Thought

Giving Up Delusions

As we work the steps of the OA program, our new actions produce new thoughts. When we are ready, our Higher Power reveals new truths and gives us new insights.

Gradually, we give up old, deluded ways of thinking. We realize that we had put self at the center of the universe, and we see this to be a delusion. We may have secretly considered ourselves better than those around us. Once we honestly take inventory and face up to our defects, we can no longer believe this. Another common delusion is that material goals will bring us ultimate satisfaction. When we admit the pain we have caused ourselves and others by our insatiable cravings and demands for material things, we see that they are not the answer.

Most of us have harbored the delusion that one day we will be completely rid of the temptation to overeat, and that we will then be able to relax our efforts. It is our experience that continued effort is required to maintain abstinence and that only through daily dedication to the life of the spirit are we able to receive sanity, strength, and satisfaction from our Higher Power.

Take away my delusions, Lord, and show me Your truth.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

~ Courage ~

It takes a lot of courage
to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck

I remember first starting my Twelve Step program. I had lots of expectations and dreams, but I couldn't talk to anyone about them. I thought my dreams were stupid and that nobody there really cared about who I was or what I wanted to achieve.

This is a big problem with all of us compulsive overeaters. We all have hopes and dreams of losing our impulse to eat all the time, and of losing our excess weight. Thinking we're not worth anyone's time keeps us strong in our addiction.

As we work through the Steps and learn to trust our new family of choice, we get the courage to begin to open up and share our dreams and hopes. We all find our hidden courage by praying and trusting our Higher Power. We find the courage to tell people about ourselves and trust that nobody will put us down for our past or for the future we dream of achieving. Our dreams have no time limit; they don't have to happen immediately. They may happen immediately, or it may take a long time of struggling, but as long as we have hope and courage, they will become a reality in Higher Power's time.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that we learn that, together, things become much easier. As we share our experience, strength and dreams with others, they will help us learn how we can work with a special program and plan. With Higher Power and our recovery friends, our courage grows stronger, and we find we can and will succeed.
~ Jeanette ~

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. - Pg. 84 - Into Action

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Vengeance sometimes seems the only way to get back at who've hurt us. But we've found the best vengeance is living well, practicing our principles, and letting our Higher Power take care of the offenders.

May I recognize and internalize that vengeance is an attribute of addiction, not recovery.

I Am Aware

Today, I see that my life is up to me. How I choose to live, what I will accomplish, how I conduct my intimate relationships, how I treat myself, all are in my own hands. They are gifts of awareness that I can give myself. I can process my most frustrating and difficult emotions and bring them into my conscious awareness so that I can put them into proportion. I can reframe and see things in a new and more helpful light. I can stop running from what clouds and confuses my inner being, what obscures my inner light. I am strong in the awareness that I can live as I choose to live. I am willing to walk a path of self discovery that, though difficult, builds a strength in me and a knowledge that I can survive my most difficult feelings. I do not need to be afraid of my life if I am not afraid of my inner world. I am comfortable in my own skin.

I am free to be who I am.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

In order to grasp recovery we must learn, not accumulate knowledge, but really learn. Accumulating knowledge is moving from the known to the known, but learning is moving from the known to the unknown.

Each time I say, 'Thy will, not mine, be done,' I move from the known to the unknown and I can learn.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

When things go wrong don't go with them.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am breaking out of old patterns, rewriting old tapes and letting my life flow with joy and love.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

In the book 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest', the Indian man describes a vision he had watching his father drinking; He saw that as his father drank out of a spirit bottle, the bottle was drinking the spirit out of his father. That resonated with me - a lot. - Trip S.
__________________